How does one let the KH see the benefit

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by HT89, Apr 15, 2020.

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  1. HT89
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    HT89 Member

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    Hello guys and gals.

    Me and my partner were in a good journey, I'd been locked for a couple months. My partner to my knowledge was loving it to my knowledge. I believe is become a "horny mess" and manage would pretty much whatever my partner wanted.
    Somehow, we must have let me out to orgasm and just like that, it died.

    No idea why it stopped, no discussion, argument, talk or anything.
    To my rememberance I was emptied and it never continued.


    This leads to my Q


    Not.so much why, but from a key holders perspective what keeps you enthralled to continue? I get this can be construed as to be a man's game as he is locked etc etc.
    But the fun was genuinely my partner toying with me being picked, the words, the cruel taps in public, the total self gratitude on their part Sexually to the point of being cruel etc.

    What makes keyholders tock, as I want to see if that's could come back to me
     
  2. CagedBySocks
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    CagedBySocks Member

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    We do this all the time, sometimes it's me, sometimes it's her. Eventually it comes back.

    It's tiring being a horny mess, it's (I assume) tiring living with a horny mess.

    Sometime you need some time to binge watch 5 seasons of something. :D
     
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  3. Kel Ford
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    Agreed. Give it time. We've been there too and sometimes the gap lasts longer than you think it should but it does come back. The best advice anyone has given me with respect to my wife: be very very patient.

    How we got it back: one night I mentioned it had been awhile since we fooled around. I suggested we think about being together that night. Then I mentioned I could lock up if she really wasn't feeling it. Her eyes lit up and it was back on.
     
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  4. MistressNicx
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    When I let my boy have release after a record breaking time for him, after we both felt deflated, like as if someone had taken something of huge value from us. Neither knew how the other felt for a few days, but relieved we felt the same about it.

    He has gone on broken that record since, but we were much more prepared for it. Preparing for the moment, making it special, reminding him he will have a long wait until next time, helped us.

    It will come back x
     
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  5. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Also continue to let her know you appreciate her and consider her special, whether you're caged or not. She needs to know you want her to hold your key and are willing to reward her for doing so.
     
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  6. HT89
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    HT89 Member

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    Hey all. I would have replied to you sooner, was the website down?

    So it's natural a break and neither to know why in particular.

    Not sure if I should wait untill I get locked, or if that's the wrong thing to do and maybe part of my partner's enjoyment was for me to ask and want it.
     
  7. MissyB
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    That could be it. That way, she's feeling your desire.
     
  8. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    Agree. I try to keep "putting it out there" to make it clear how grateful i am that my Keyholder Wife supports my kink and has made it Her own.

    She's said that She likes me in the cage, so it doesn't make sense for me to play coy with it. I try to own it and accept Her control.

    This isn't easy when She's busy and borderline ignores my kink. But i've found it's best to stay the course so i'm ready to submit and that much more desperate when She picks it back up.

    asa
     
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  9. HT89
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    Good advice thank you
     
  10. madams-sissysub
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    My madams favourite part of it is the control she has over me and her cock, its the fact that I am in 24/7 bondage for her. She adores the fact that it shows I’m devoted to her.
     
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  11. HT89
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    What i Take from your knowledge is that your partner gets the enjoyment from the lock and of release, which I do guess many do.
    But you mention your devotion, do you mean if from just being In it or from showing your wish to be in it?

    I only ask as you have been iong term I presume?(congrats btw)
    But I'm looking to get back to without topping from the bottom :) if youxan shed some knowledge :)
     
  12. masohedo
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    masohedo Active member

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    Each woman is different,so I can share our experience but don't dare giving any advice
    My KH/Wife ( 100% vanilla and initially reluctant towards chastity) now,wouldn't let me out of the cage for any circumstance because ...
    1)She fears I would stop " being so nice and attentive"
    Being caged and orgasm deprived for long,long periods of time definitely change your chemistry and behavior
    2)She enjoys all the pampering and having someone to just fulfill any wish that comes to her mind
    3) She has never expressed anything regarding control,but she enjoys the peace of mind of a 100% loyal husband
    4) She takes pleasure knowing that keeping me caged,teased,denied,tormented,etc is a sure way to make me happy
     
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  13. subcuckold
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    well, we are cuckold couple, so maybe with different prospective; this is the benefit for KH according our experience; they don't come in one day but take time.
    – a totally loyal husband
    – the end of his requests for sex, you can enjoy your sexuality without having to satisfy his sexual requests; when he massage your feet or kiss you gently or caressing your body you can enjoy the moment without the fear of being pressured into sex
    – the relationship will be much more serene, free of tension and friction due to his sexual frustration.
    – when he does something for you he does it because he loves you, not because he hopes for a sexual return
    – his cuddles and his devotion are sincere, profound and emotional, they are no longer guided by hormones and therefore do not fade as soon as he is satisfied;
    – you can be sure that he will never look at another one as you! he will have no eyes for you- a lover or more than one will give you what you need sexually, for the emotional part your husband will be perfect, because for him will be essential give you what you want
     
  14. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    My wife's biggest enjoyment is the fact that I want her 24 hours a day and I don't get upset when she says "no". In fact I told her that I love it when she says no. She also likes the fact that I love doing all the household chores for her. She says "why didn't we start this many years ago".
     
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  15. Ron33
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    Ron33 Active member

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    I am like Cincy, unlocked and my wife says no sex is upsetting and frustrating. Being locked up takes away most of the frustration. My wife was reluctant to try male chastity and didn't understand why I would enjoy it, but tried it anyway. I don't stay locked all the time, but my wife enjoys it when I do.She is the same way, we should have tried this years ago.
     
  16. jvabox
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    jvabox jvabox

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    We toyed with it several times over the years same thing she would go for a while then when she let me out it went away. One day we got into a real good conversation and I got her to tell me why she didn't want to disappoint my desire to be locked. Said when I was locked I was needy so basically I was trying to top from bottom so to speak. Learned from post here and tumbler... Opened up lines of communication set up some rather strict rules for me and focused on more of a FLR after a while pleasing her in many ways with tasks spoiling her I mentioned Chastity again and I have been locked since Valentine's.
     
  17. Abstraction
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    I see the benefits but I have to go looking for them myself. Whether my man is caged or not, it makes no difference in the amount of desire he shows for me. So unless I ask for it I go without - he doesn't initiate anything. Perhaps it's his low libido; perhaps we're been together for so long we know everything there is to know about each other; perhaps it's just one of those things. When I ask for attention I get (and enjoy) it. I just wish I didn't have to ask...
     
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