How do the wives/girlfriends here cope?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Andylocked, Dec 31, 2018.

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  1. Andylocked
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    Andylocked Long term member

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    Apologies if it’s been asked before but how do the partners of males (who feel they need to be caged) cope without penetrative sex on a regular basis?
    Did/ Do you miss it and you are playing along with your husband to satisfy his own kink? Do you wish he’d snap out of it and go back to how things were? Or are you loving the whole chastity thing?
    I’d love to know what you think as I am still in the process of convincing my own wife of my own strange chastity cravings... thanks
     
  2. switchling
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    switchling Long term member

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  3. Andylocked
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    Andylocked Long term member

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    Thanks!! I guessed there must be!! I’ll check it out!
     
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  4. Tom Allen
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    Mrs Edge and I found a really good quality dildo, the Vixskin Boitoi (since renamed to something else). She normally doesn't care for toys, but this is so lifelike, and so similar to my own size and shape, that it's a 95% replacement. I use a Terra Firma harness from Stormy Leather, and it's such a good replacement option that she manages just fine.

    In fact, about that 95%? When I angle it low on my hips, she can feel my cage pressing her ass when we have sex, which has made her revive her opinion of letting me out.

    I warm it up in a mug of hot water, along with the lube, and she's been exceptionally happy. So much so that I've spent most of 2018 locked up, and don't expect anything else in 2019.
     
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  5. Andylocked
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    Andylocked Long term member

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    Wow....sounds like a great thing you have going there! If you know the name of the particular strapon I’d love to know it! Thanks
     
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  6. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    The feeling of a dildo has been one of my issues as well... I love PIV!!! aand haven't found a toy I like. So far nothing is like the real thing... due to work and issues with chastity lifestyle, he hasn't worn hhis cage longer than a few hours in months! And our sex life has suffered.. going from five times or more a week to maybe once a week with play or vanilla. ( Usually vanilla).. I miss being able to unlock him when I say, aand to use him when I like... ah. Chastity how I miss you...
     
  7. Adam444
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    Adam444 Long term member

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    There's no hard and fast rules to all of this and participants in this kink need to find what works best for their relationship. I have to imagine that the number of guys who are locked 24/7 for months (years) on end is actually pretty small. My experience has been that women actually like penises and prefer a real live penis in their vagina. That's not to say they don't also enjoy fingers, tongues, and toys but I think for many there's an emotional intimacy that goes far beyond the act itself and for some a piece of silicone just doesn't cut it. I've read messages where someone says, "my wife hates penises" and the first thing that goes through my mind is why she married a guy? Was she just looking for a breadwinner, someone to mow the yard, or just didn't have the ovaries to admit that she is actually a lesbian?

    In any case, open and honest communications is the key to making this work for both partners. Understanding too that for many the dynamics of the relationship changes over time as both parties adjust and explore. The biggest downside to chastity (or more exactly being chaste) is that it usually decreases male endurance, which usually doesn't increase her satisfaction.
     
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  8. henry58
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    henry58 Long term member

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    And as You mentioned earlier, he now has his own profile on here without Your permission. You are very clear about what You want, he appears more confused. I was sad reading Your post, i really hope You manage to re-establish Your position in Your relationship and have what You deserve. Apologies for presumptions.
     
  9. MadamBelle
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    This site we both have been on. When we'r stopped chastity full time, he stopped being on here, and it was mewe that he started without permission.. that has been deleted and he's back on here.. which I wanted due to the great advice aand different perspectives
     
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  10. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    It's simple for us -- she unlocks him whenever she wants to use him, albeit hardly ever letting him cum. The rest of the time he's locked, not being erect, not masturbating, serving her and hoping for a chance to pleasure her.
     
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  11. Tom Allen
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  12. Mr Talex
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    Mr Talex Member

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    My Queen doesn't enjoy me being caged when we are together which is only about 30% of the time. Her favorite (and pretty much the only time she orgasms) is missionary position so it gets in the way. She works on the other coast. So when we see each other there is ritual teasing and then I'm cage free for her use until she leaves for her next tour, at which point I cage up and she clicks the lock shut. The only time I'm caged when we are together is when we are playing or hanging out with others. She enjoys seeing me trying to have an erection and teases my about with friends.
     
  13. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    It works for her, right?
     
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  14. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Long term member

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    With my wife, I wear a Doc Johnson Vaccu-loc harness and a high quality dildo. She prefers dildo's to my original parts. I'm a decent size, but she doesnt like pre-cum and mess, plus the dildo is about 25% bigger than me.

    With my keyholder, we have less of a sexual relationship, and more of an S/M one. If I get unlocked, it's so it can be whacked or needled.
     
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  15. gdfox2000
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    gdfox2000 Junior Member

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    My Wife copes with Her boyfriend.
     
  16. jackofthedawn
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    jackofthedawn unowned submissive

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    Chastity lifestyle --> more frequent PIV sex !?

    That is encouraging testimony. My prospective KH and I hope to find that it is indeed true. However, I do appreciate that other chastity couples have different goals and consequently different experiences.
     
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  17. Ms Maree
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    I love chastity and oral sex win win situation for me and him.

    Simple!!! :)
     
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  18. jackofthedawn
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    jackofthedawn unowned submissive

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    If my KH were happy with just oral service, I would be okay with it. She loves oral, but she wants it all.
     
  19. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    And she can have it all. She holds the key because it is her cock, not for you to play with. When she wants to use it, it will be right where she left it, all charged up and ready to use.
     
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  20. Rider9
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    Rider9 Locked4her

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    After having two children my girlfriend's desire for sex dropped quite a lot. So she likes to keep me locked for longer periods. She still loves oral and that is what she gets often.
    But when she wants to have sex she unlocks me. It is just that when I'm locked for some time I just can't last long, and that is something that annoys her. And that was the reason we started searching for strapons. We found silicone sleeve that is just slightly larger than me. We have sex with condoms anyways so she says it feels almost like it was me penetrating her.
    Final result is we have normal piv sex extremly rarely. She gets lots of orgasms from oral or just me fingering her and when she wants sex we normaly use sleeves.
     
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  21. Ms King
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    How do you resolve need to deny and need for PIV? It worked that way for us...
     
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  22. jackofthedawn
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    jackofthedawn unowned submissive

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    It seems the KH always has the power to deny her man's need to be denied. Win-win.
     
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  23. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Long term member

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    One of the advantages of the honor method is that the cock is always readily available. Whether the cock is allowed to cum is another matter!
     
  24. RangerCuck
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    RangerCuck Long term member

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    My GF is a hotwife (or hotgf, as it is), so she gets penetrative sex whenever she wants it pretty much. We also have a mouth dildo and a strap-on dildo for me to use to fuck her when she doesn't feel like going out to get it. Anyone who's ever fucked his wife/GF with a strap-on while in chastity will tell you what an incredible mind-fuck it is to be fucking your wife/GF and not be able to feel it.
     
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  25. Mr Talex
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    Mr Talex Member

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    It's a win win situation.
     
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