What are the ways in which KHs manage their partner’s sex lives? Here is what my KH does. To begin: we start with a point and quota system. When and if I make the quota she lets me out for an hour or so to do what I like. The trick is, only she knows the exact value of the quota, only she knows how many points I have, and only she knows how close or far away I am. She might sometimes tell me how many points I have earned (or lost!) at the end of the day, but it is a tease; I never know what whatever she says really means. (True, I usually have some sense of her mood, so I can guess, but that is all.) (Usually) at the end of the day, when we lying in bed, after I have satisfied her, she asks herself how good I have made her feel that day. Have I expressed a real commitment to her and/or to our relationship? Have I expressed these commitments in new and interesting and thoughtful ways? Ways that show I have been paying close attention to her and what she is thinking about and going through? “Average” sets the floor. The day has to have been better than “average” to count. She comes up with a judgement, translates it into points, adds or subtracts those from the quota, memorizes the result, and that is that. She never tells me. All I can do is guess, and hope, which I certainly do. A key feature of our system is that she is by design slow to prompt me. I am supposed to figure everything out by myself, just by watching and listening. If after some time it is obvious that I am not getting it, she does tell me, but we both know that accomplishing the task after being told, whatever it is, will not get me any points. The only way to get points is to come up with some sort of behavioral “gift” spontaneously, without her asking, in the best case before she has even thought of it. You can imagine how motivating I find this. Maybe once every month or two (or three!) she announces I have made the quota and unlocks me. It almost always comes as a surprise. All I know is that if I think up some interesting way of delighting her, and it works, my chances improve – but the outcome is never predictable. And that of course is my KH’s intention. She knows how my mind works and she knows just how to frustrate it. I find this all very hot.
When locked: Sometimes my key goes into a kitchen safe, sometimes it's on her keyring or thrown into a drawer. If she wants me out she let's me out. To my knowledge there's no points system, can't see her putting that kind of effort in. Release days have been pushed back, or brought forward, I suspect her mood is the deciding factor on that rather than anything I've done.
Maybe we have the same system, only she enjoys spinning this quota story, knowing it will just add to my frustration. I have no way of knowing. She is capable of it, for sure.
Maybe, maybe that's how you KH's mind works though. I can see my KH adding a few days because I've pissed her off, but I think it's more likely to happen because she'd not in the mood and thinks it's funny. She'd be more likely to knock time off a lock-up if anything, that was the rationale behind the kitchen safe - it can take the option off the table for her too.
I am just locked at her pleasure. Coming up on 3 months this Thursday. Typically the only time I have historically known with certainty that I would be unlocked and have access to PIV sex was family vacations. Most of my prior lock-ups lasted a month or two with my longest being four. I think things have shifted in our relationship this year and I sense she is planning on breaking the old record substantially. I also suspect that me being allowed PIV sex is a thing of the past. I guess only time will tell.
She unlocks me when she wants me unlocked. I've tried to talk to her about different kinds of rewards or points or some kind of game system, but she's not into any of that.
My KH manages my sexy life by Just telling me when she wants sex. If I'm very lucky, She might tell me to go and pleasure myself. Very rare though.
Me too actually, I think it means she's taking to it better then ever before. We've played around with chastity for years, but I've only recently in the past year asked for a full FLR. Things have been slow to progress, but I think things have clicked for her in the past couple of weeks and she seems to be really enjoying the control she has over me. For the first time ever this past weekend she locked me up immediately after allowing me to orgasm. In the past after I've cum it's been weeks or months before I'm locked back up.
Same as many of you, no games here. She unlocks me when she wants to. Of course, we've had to strike a balance between her letting me out frequently and my fantasy of enforced 24/7 wear.
My sex life now consists of either being locked, being teased and denied while locked, or unlocked, teased, denied, and then relocked. To heighten the denial my wife/Mistress/KH will not touch my cock. She has no interest in having sex, whether piv, oral, or anything else, so I don't even get the satisfaction of orally pleasing her. It is literally all about her, which is what I agreed to and, as she has told me, as it should be.