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How do I get my wife to let me wear panties

Discussion in 'The Powder Room' started by Georgemaser, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. My wife ( who is a wonderful vanilla women) and I have been into this chastity thing for the past year. She has come farther with this then I thought she would and seems to be truly enjoying it . I recently spilled the beans about me taking and wearing her panties well on business trips. She felt that that was okay but she has no desire to see me in women's lingerie. Is there any way to change her mind? Like I said, I have come a long way and for her to enjoy the control she has over me with chastity is great but I just wanted to continue to evolve as her chastity submissive.
    danijean001 likes this.
  2. I wish I could give you an answer but I'm sort of in the same situation. I was shocked when she agreed to me getting a chastity device so who knows what she'll go for.
  3. Georgemaser, your wife is in charge and makes those decisions, so I wouldn't try to get her to do what you want, but rather drop some hints about how much you love Her and wish to serve Her more and better. Be very submissive and gentle and I bet that She will see your feminine side come out in you on her own!
    Zoepee and danijean001 like this.
  4. If I remember it right, it was a slow process for me. We started in chastity about a year ago and doing light FLR. One day I was folding the laundry and I commented on how nice her panties were and how silky soft they were. I mentioned how nice they must feel. About a week later we were going out for dinner and she had me try some on and wear them to dinner. As soon as a put them on I felt a rush of precum that soaked through them and I became very docile. She noticed the soaks panties and felt very aroused at my reaction. That night I was so into her treating her like a queen, she loved it and I did too.
    As time went on she started painting my toe nails and having me wearing silky robes to bed. Fast forward about 8 months, now I'm to wear stocking and panties daily. A few nights ago before our play time, I was sitting on the floor next to the bed waiting for her. She walked up to me and dropped a lace bra in my lap and told me to put it on. My cage immediately got tight. We had one of the best nights of T&D and her orgasming to her vibrator while me staying locked at her side. Afterward she told me to wear the bra tomorrow all day. I was in near shock and the next day I felt so in love with her, doing all of the chores (as usual) and waiting on her as if I was a maid. I think in her mind she loves what it does to me and how she reaps the effects.
    Not sure if this helps, but it's our progression as to how we arrived at where we are today. My Wife/KH/Mistress is the most amazing person and I feel closer to her now than I have since we first met.
    nsrchof, chastemaid, markp and 5 others like this.
  5. I'n my limited experience I would have said that women are either into it or not and are unlikely to change their minds....but after reading the post from Rehead's Hubby I'm nit so sure :)
  6. My Wife gave me a pair of silky smooth panties for my Birthday, my first ever pair. It was her idea, and this was my second chaste birthday. We have been doing this now for 20 months and it has been a slow evolution to where we are now. I cannot imagine of a way I could have influenced her to do this, it had to be her idea, as is everything else that happens.
    danijean001 and manintyres like this.
  7. I wife doesn't mind and most of the time forgets I locked - I tried to leave book and conversations - but really she not interested in Kh
    Panties well she never mentioned only a few times - seeing them on floor or in the shower with other daily cloths -I tell her softer lighter easier to wear -
    I find it easier to wear then try to fight the urge that overcomes me..
    danijean001 likes this.
  8. My Mistress bought me some to wear this past weekend. I only will wear them at home.
    danijean001 likes this.
  9. Joroincharge

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Mar 10, 2009
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    You don't. That is topping from the bottom. If she's not into it then accept it. I'm not into it either. We're all different.
    She's the one in charge. She decides what (if anything) you wear at all times.
  10. Here is a what my wife and I have developed that works well for us. Might offer some help.

    We call this the button method. She placed 20 buttons in a cup and an empty glass jar beside it in the top drawer of her nightstand. She then made a list of 10 things she wanted me to do and I made a list of about 25 things I wanted her to do. I can tell you her list was all household chores or elimination of unhealthy habits, while mine was more like make me wear panties, or tie me to the bed and make me lick her for 30 minutes. You get the idea. Anyway, we took her list and assigned each item a button number. Most were assigned "1" button, but a couple significantly difficult tasks received "2". We took my list and expanded it by randomly putting them on the list multiple times until the list was 98. Some items on the list as many as 6 times, some only once. We added two more items to the list. One was "Unlucky you, no reward" and the other was "Unlucky you, 20 swats with a wooden spoon" My list was now 100 task long. She password protected this list and save it on her I-phone and I deleted it from my computer. I added a random number generator app on my I-phone. Now let the game begin

    Every night before bed we discuss how many of the tasks on her list I accomplished that day and we add up the "earned" buttons and place them in the glass jar. She recorded the number of buttons in the jar, so I con not cheat and add buttons behind her back. When I have completed enough tasks to "earn" 20 buttons, she will ask me for my I-phone. She then uses the ransom number generator to pick a number between 1 and 100. She does not tell me the number to keep the suspense building. What ever number comes up she must do exactly as I wrote in my list.

    This is a "win-win" situation. She now has me eagerly helping her or doing things on her list, so I can have a chance to see what she will have to do off my list. Every once in a while the I-phone picks one of the two dreaded ones, and she gets to skip doing anything, or even worse she has to take the wooden spoon to me, but even when those two happen I know that if I get busy and help a lot, I can earn another chance fairly quickly.

    We run with this for 6 months to a year, and then we each get a chance to update our task list to keep it fresh and fun, or for her to get me to help more.

    Here is the key to this feed. Put things on your list that you want her to do but that she is not all that keen on. Is it "topping" from the bottom??? Well in my opinion not really since all I am doing is creating a wish list. There is no guarantee that the random number generator will ever pick any particular task, so all it does is give me a hope and incentive to do more for her. In rare instances we get to the end of the day and I have done something not even on her list, but it pleased her some much she awarded a bonus button.

    I will just add one last warning, "be careful what you wish for". I put a couple things on my initial list that she followed through exactly on and they were a lot "hotter" in my mind than in reality, so they got removed on the next update.

    Hope this might help other couples.. Have fun and let me know what you think
    nsrchof and danijean001 like this.
  11. I will never claim to be an expert on women, but in my opinion there isn't going to be any changing of opinion on the matter. She doesn't want to see it, it bothers her, and that is that. She will never "want" to see you that way. That doesn't mean she won't accept it. Big difference. If you are looking for her to genuinely enjoy it, I'm afraid she already told you that it's not a turn on, that's not gonna change.

    You can however ask her to put up with it, or create a situation where they aren't offensive to her and well worth ____. If she really digs you doing X, and the cost is to see you in panties, it might be worth it to her. There can be a compromise, but you will still know she doesn't like it, and I can't imagine that would be very comfortable for either of you.
  12. I hit the jackpot with my wife. Not only is she bisexual but only has sex with women if I take part so it does not feel like cheating to her, but also will try anything I ask, even the yucky stuff. I simply stated that we should try me wearing panties and see if we like it. She said OK and took me panty shopping. Did the same for bras. We did it for awhile but after the initial fun wore off, we stopped it. My wife wants to view me as an alpha male who is there to protect and make her feel safe. She cannot do that when I am wearing panties and a bra. She will not do a MMF threesome for the same reason. It is only perception on her part because I had a biker friend who was a cross dresser with his wife's approval and he was a tough SOB.

    Did you try just asking her to try it for a few weeks and if she still did not like it, you would stop? I cannot imagine being married to a woman who would not at least try something. Then again, I never would marry a woman who was not willing to try anything once. I put my wife to the test before we tied the knot since I was into BDSM and poly for a long time. I never had a vanilla relationship. All four of them are bisexual and sexually adventuresome. As a result I have been able to try every fetish most people know of and a few that they do not. Does not hurt to try so I do not understand why people are not willing to try something that will not physically harm them. My wife moved 13 times with me and decorated 9 houses that we once lived in. When I asked her to join me in bed with her girlfriends, she did so without an objection. In fact, she initiated threesomes more than I did. For chastity I asked her to try it and we tried it. I asked if she would be my keyholder and she did so and is still my keyholder 4+ years later.

    I will admit that my psychologist diagnosed me with a Machiavellian personality and that is a big help in getting people to do what I wish them to do. It is all psychology and learning what motivates people plus presenting it in a way they are most likely to accept. I have always been able to get girls to do things they never did before and had a reputation as a pervert in my town. That drove the bad girls to me as well as the good girls who wanted to be bad for a day.

    Find a way to get your wife to at least try it. Explain that it is just a sex game and you are curious to learn how it feels. I still occasionally put on a pair of panties when we have teasing sessions and my wife does not want me unlocked. She likes the feel of the smooth panties on her hand. Reminds her of her girlfriend. See that? That is how I sold it to her. :)
  13. I'm in the same boat as you, my mistress has come a long way in regards to the level of control she likes to exert on me but is not into any sort of cross dressing. It's been just recently that I've discovered my true desire to be her sissy maid in full uniform. I doubt that will ever happen but then again stranger things have happened. Last year I asked her if she would allow me to clean the house in her French maid outfit and I got a big NO. My desire was to strong and I ended up dressing up when she was out for an afternoon. It was really quite enjoyable and now my desire is even stronger. I suppose if we keep letting them know it's important to us maybe someday we'll be allowed to infront of them.
    Zoepee and Mash2214 like this.
  14. My wife and I had never discuss it before, so when She caught me wearing panties, it was a shock to Her and, at first, she reacted quite negatively, thinking that I was gay or having an affair or no longer loving Her, etc. After a few weeks, She raised the issue in conversation and we talked about it quite a bit for a couple of weeks. I told her that I was getting these feminine urges and feelings and that wearing panties just felt right and I felt like I was expressing my feminine side. She then OK'd me wearing panties, but never to wear any of hers. That went on for a while until one day, She was joking about her new "wife" and said that, if I were really in to wearing feminine undies, I would also wear a bra. Then She challenged me to "go for a bra fitting" to see just how serious I was about "my feminine side". Since I did that, my wearing lingerie has been not only OK, but now required.

    Prior to this experience, I just knew that She would be upset by it, but now, thinking back, it really came down to being able to communicate each others feelings, wants, and needs, I think that, if you can't talk openly about issues like this, your wife will likely never accept your wearing panties.
    anasyrma, Redhead's Hubby and Johnh70 like this.
  15. this kind of problem seems to exist in one form or another for guys who want more than their wives are prepared to give. maybe it would be better for them to come to a room at the mansion completely devoid of xys so that they can freely discuss their concerns without you nosing around..... might actually spice thing up for you.
  16. Mine is accepting of it, but I'm left to do it to myself, which is not what I would like. But, what I would "like" is not what is important. So... I paint my toes, shave all my hair from the neck down, and wear panties on my own. She'll participate slightly from time to time in my humiliation, and having me wearing anal plugs. So I'm grateful, and lucky. She is interested more in urethral sounding, chastity, and me eating my cum, and cuckolding me,(hasn't actually had sex with anyone else yet) and she enjoys facesitting, edging and a ruined orgasm is all I'm ever permitted. My advice is to just talk to her about the lifestyle frequently and do whatever she likes... Forget about yourself for a while and once she has none all of her fantasies, she will likely start playing along once she sees what a true sissy you are. Good luck
    Mash2214 likes this.
  17. Mistress had me buy first pair for myself this week. Pink lace, junk does not fit well
    Mash2214 and danijean001 like this.
  18. well a lot of men puts on Ladies knickers and don't bother doing nothing else and theres all there hairs sticky out and they got hairy legs and they looks silly and i don't know why they does it.
  19. The more my wife gets out of chastity, as in I spend my time figuring out what she wants and delivering in our relationship, the more she seems to be into our kinks and fetishes. Good boys get good rewards.
  20. This seems accurate to me. Hubby's not into the idea which I'm grateful for as it would be a big turn off for me personally. But if he was, I think the above would apply, which is I wouldn't ever grow to like it, but I'd put up with it occasionally because I love him,. and if it was a massive thing for him I'd get used to it I guess. But it wouldn't ever be a turn on.
    I suspect that's true for most women I'm afraid, it's only the strong domme ones that seems to get off on it.

    I don't recommend the Mansion much on my blog for this reason, I think it's still a mostly terrifying place for blissfully ignorant women to visit, and would do more harm than good, although I appreciate all the mods are doing to improve it. At the moment I'm setting up a safe little wives and girlfriends only chat group on a thing called Slack to try and have a safe place for women to encourage and support each other, as there's definitely a need - I get asked for help all the time on the blog.
    Chief256 and PouchPantyLover like this.
  21. I would love to be as feminine and pretty as you @jemima@jemima , but real life for me prevents that. I'm a dad and husband first, a business owner second, a friend of a social circle third and a sexual being fourth or fifth. For me that includes a desire to crossdress. I purged all body hair once and got a lot of questions and odd looks. In the end I'll take what I can get and know for me the outward appearance will never match the inner feeling.
    sissybitch likes this.
  22. I'm very lucky to have a wife and best friend that has known about my cross dressing for the last 20 years and will often buy me dresses and underwear as little surprise gifts. Having recently changed cages from a CB600S to an Attica steel cage, I've been searching for a style of underwear that is comfortable, as I'm very much a 'grower' - a good 8' and a decent girth when ready for action (honest!) but some days you need tweezers to find it, so I have a lot of foreskin flapping around at the end of the cage which can be a bit of a pinch hazard...

    So I tried some new knickers this week and they're perfect - a really soft and stretchy boy short type - and yesterday she bought me another 9 pairs whilst she was out shopping. :) I do have some male boxers, but wear them once in a blue moon.

    We often go clothes shopping for both of us in the women's section , which can be quite amusing when she says "ooh...I like that" and I'll say "for you or me?" :)

    How did we get to the stage where I wears bra and knickers every day and a silky nighty to bed every night? Not by forcing it on Her, but being open and honest about who I am and how I feel. She knows that I'm not gay and I lovely Her. I just like dressing in dresses and being fucked in the ass now and then. .. Outside of that the outside world would see me as an alpha male - 6'3, ex athlete business owner who happens to have killer legs in 6" heels. :D
  23. I know this is a far fetched idea but have you asked her? Like so many others have posted on this thread I never once thought my wife would accept my wanting to be caged. But she's fine with it, she even plays along. Then I thought no way would she ever accept her husband in panties. She finds it kinda cute. The overwhelming thing I have learned is that communication is the key. One of these days set aside time to talk, or read books or browse the internet. Explain what kind of things you would like to try and ask what kinds of things she would like to try. Even if she is just vanilla, like my wife, you may be surprised at just what she will indulge with you and maybe even grow to enjoy ever so slightly.
  24. I agree, asking is the first step. Admitting I liked to wear panties was, in my case, was the beginning of a warm and loving 20 year relationship/Marriage. Also mentioned above, do you ever shop with her when She's buying feminine things? It can be great fun and in your case, an opportunity drop a hint/comment or even a "those are so cute, may I have a pair" hint.
    Chief256 and sissybitch like this.
  25. im very sorry and don't mean to upset anybody. i was just saying.
    PouchPantyLover and sissybitch like this.

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