How do I get locked up

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by John, May 15, 2008.

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  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Be very careful! Men and women think about these things differently... she may be insulted that you are offering her money, some women may equate that with prostitution and some may wonder whether or not you would be equally willing to pay someone else to do it.

    Obviously I do not know your Domme so I cannot say how she would react.

    I think you are starting to have an edge of "desperation" and that may scare your partner and make her more insecure than receptive.

    She is locking you up on occasion, and you must realise how lucky you are that she is doing this... the fact that she is not locking you up for "long enough" is also showing that you are trying to lead this relationship.

    Remember... this is all about HER. If she locks you up for 2 hours, that is her decision, if she locks you up for 2 weeks, that is her decision. What suits you is not really of concern if you are going to take this seriously.

    What happens when you are locked up for 2 weeks, or 2 months... what will the next demand be? She's not teasing you often enough? She's not paying you enough attention?

    I think maybe you need to remember that you are asking for HER to take charge and make the decisions, whether they suit your ideal or not!
     
  2. John
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    John Member

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    You may be right Mistress Watchful I may be too desperate. I would just love to show her all the advantages of chastity. I have not said to her I would like to be locked up for longer periods since I would not like to be to pushy.
     
  3. John
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    John Member

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    I have to say thank you to everyone. I have now been locked up for a week.:tongue:
     
  4. TCFun
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    TCFun Long term member

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    Try buying the book "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders"....worked great for me and my Wife
     
  5. John
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    John Member

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    Thanks TCFun...l'll try and see what happens:wink:
     
  6. ptathuk
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    ptathuk Member

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    John,
    Goddess Christine and Mistress Watchful have shared great wisdom here. I'd also like to thank them as well.

    It was after I was divorced that I read an article (Forum, I think) about the different types of people (women) influenced by their upbringing. I spotted, too late for me, that my ex was classed as a 'good girl'. - Close to her Father and always looking for his approval. This good parental relationship lead to the subcouncious desire for approval from me, her husband. The obvious way to express this was to make me cum. Looking back, after we had made love, and after my orgasm, she would get this expression of 'a job well done'. My orgasm was the approval she sought!

    If you ask a 'good girl' for teasing and denial, it completely confuses them, as they no longer have a ready made way to extract the phrase 'good girl'. At the time my approach was all wrong - she's my ex. We're all geniuses in hindsight.

    Mistress Watchful is spot on:
    I would think you need to find out more on how your lover approaches love-making. What she calls the pigeon-holes. How it starts, and how it ends. To her, an ending may be your orgasm. To you, chastity play means keeping things going for days at a time. You can see the crossed purposes I think?

    I recommend communication, communication, oh and some communication.
    Good luck
    ptathuk
     
  7. John
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    John Member

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    Thanks for you great reply. The only sad thing I would like to have read the article you mentioned. If anyone nows where it is please publish it:smile:
     
  8. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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  9. John
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    John Member

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    Thanks,

    I have been locked up for almost a week now and maybe she has lost interested and I'm free again. She told me if I masturbate I would get 2 weeks in chastity and she would make a humilliating video of me as punishment. Should I tell her I have masturbated or do it to get the punishment. Or do as she told me?
     
  10. ptathuk
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    ptathuk Member

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    John,
    Nothing is more exasperating for a Domme than having (apparently) no control over a sub. To make clear what you want, AND to listen to what she wants is key. Your question would suggest this conversation hasn't taken place yet.

    Punishments should be something you want to avoid. Play is something you jump into with both feet (preferably strapped together :wink:).

    You sound like you're a long way off reading each other's thoughts. Hope you get there.

    Good luck in the journey
    ptathuk
     
  11. submissive1
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    submissive1 Member

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    I wouldn't do something she dispproves of,
    in order to get something you want.
    You'd be better off to be obedient and build trust.
    Most of all learn to be patient with her.
    Its understandable that you are excited about this.
    We've all been there.
    But be patient, communicate and take things at her speed and allow her
    time to gain confidence by experiencing your obedience to her.
    :smile:
     
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