How do I balance being chaste and PIV sex for KH

Try a penis sleeve. It will give you more girth and length which should scratch her penetration itch all the while you feel nothing but denial.

My kh was leery of one till she tried it. The added girth knocked her socks off

 

Mrs Chaste is more than happy for me not to cum at all! As long as she has her orgasms that's all that matters! She does so enjoy the combination of tongue, vibrator and strap on. Especially making sure that I'm looking into her eyes as she reaches her final orgasm!

 

Work on finding ways to please them more than piv sex. If you can find something that is better that doesn’t involve that then they won’t be as interested in unlocking you. Nobody is going to be able to tell you for sure how to do that. Different women react better to different things. Some women want penetration so it’ll be about finding the ideal dildo or way of numbing you. Some women prefer stimulation of their clitoris so you’ll be looking for a vibrator or an attachment. Some react best to g-spot stimulation so you’ll want to figure out how to get to that spot best. You’re just going to have to experiment.

 

I would suggest a combination of some soul-searching now and patient hope for the future.

The soul-searching bit is about checking what you want more. Is it fulfilling your desire for denial, or fulfiling your keyholder's desire to feel you coming inside her? Some women are wired that way, it is what makes them feel they are good lovers.The knowledge their guy enjoys denial is an abstract, theoretical thing, not their own desire. So what do you want more? Making your keyholder happy, or being denied a bit longer?

The patient hope is about the possibility of her approach changing. There's a good chance a big part of her insistence on having you come inside her is caused by her being conditioned into believing that's what men want and what proves both her love and her skill. Keep proving you can be happy and loving even when denied, and she might slowly begin to change her views on this.

Oh, and I better mention one other thing. Is it possible that one of her reasons is a wish to get pregnant?

 

I have a hard time understanding why two loving people wouldn't both want PIV sex. To me nothing is more intimate and brings me closer than having a part of my body (especially my penis) inside the person I love.

 

Having PIV is amazing. having her tell you that you cant cum is even better. the problem i run into is she usually cums after i do. or seeing her having so much pleasure pushes me over the edge.
playng around with sleeves and numbing cream makes her able to enjoy PIV all the while keeping me denied, unless she wishes for me to cum with her.

 

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I understand where your coming from. I took a rather radical approach to solving a lot of the problems guys have which force them to look to chastity for a solution. By removing my glans I now have complete control of when I orgasm. My sexual response and orgasms are female like where I can have multiple orgasms and have no decline in sexual interest afterward. I also like having a shorter penis so it also helped in that regard.

I have turned to chastity because of the temporary denial aspect which can keep me on a mental sexual high and improve sex when I have it. I also like the feel and look of a glistening stainless steel cage around my genitals.

But I totally agree that there is nothing better than PIV sex with the person you love. I could never stand being prevented from experiencing that for an 'extended period of time' or worse yet, ' for ever'.

 

Ask your wife... and also ask your wife if that is what she wants..

which I think you should have done before you asked anyone else anything in regard to pleasing her.... seems very much like manipulation or even topping from the bottom... which if it is genuinely for her benefit and a step towards her having full control I have no arguement with.

 

Male strap-on.

 

While I do understand the sentiment, real situations are often painted in shades of gray, rather than the black/white of yes/no. For example, what if your lady never orgasms from PIV sex? Yes, she can enjoy it, but what if you know for a fact that if you wish to really pleasure her, PIV sex is not the way to go? That even a dildo is never enough without other forms of stimulation? And what if other forms of intimacy sometimes leave her so worn out that PIV would be a chore, not a source of joy?

There are men who sometimes actually orgasm from bringing their lady to orgasm via oral sex. They get so excited by her pleasure and so attuned to her that a strong orgasm on her part can make them peak too, even if they're untouched and in chastity. So if the lady *knows* PIV sex never makes her orgasm and she *knows* her man honestly loves pleasuring her, as evident from it sometimes making him come, is makes sense to occasionally forgo PIV sex. Knowing he truly loves going down on you and giving you as many orgasms as he can, knowing he loves it so much it can make him lose it, can be just as intimate as PIV sex.

 

Unfortunately to some people sex is just physical. To a couple in love there is no closer bond than having a part of one body inserted into the other. But that requires an emotional connection that may not truly exist. To some people sex is just physical. To women who think that way penis size is usually of the upmost importance.

However in the situations I am referring to, one party or the other (or both) enjoys PIV sex but one (usually the man - in chastity) is being denied it for an extended period of time or forever and in those cases it is not being done to improve sexual enjoyment.

For me being denied masturbation or sex (for a finite amount of time) is done to improve the enjoyment when it does take place.

 

I must say that strange as it may seem, if Mrs Chaste never let me cum again I wouldn't mind. As long as I get to give her orgasms and watch her as she cums whilst riding her strapon!

 

I guess it is safe to say you don't care much for orgasms!

 

Hmm, well I did have PIV with Mrs Chaste back in February. That was after 14 months of being locked up and teased. I did have about 3 or 4 very ruined orgasms in that time. But I have found that I really do enjoy her orgasms as much as she does! I can't really put the feeling into words though! When she did allow me inside her it was wonderful and I didn't last long. I honestly didn't think I'd stop cumming. It was very emotional for both of us. Afterwards we cleaned ourselves in the shower and I was locked up immediately afterwards! The next day Mrs Chaste said how great it had been to have proper sex but that she does so enjoy keeping me chaste and the long sessions of oral and riding her strapon that it will be a long time before it happens again! The Mrs Chaste of today is a lot different to the one before Chastity. She really has embraced it and enjoys the fact that "it's all about her". Her more confident self has shown through and it is expressed in her everyday life now! The modern Mrs Chaste is still a very caring and loving person who cares. But she won't put up with any nonsense from anyone anymore. Maybe some of it is an "age thing" but whatever it is she even says that she feels better about herself and a lot stronger! End of ramble!!! Sorry I do this a lot!

 

Good for her!

 

I just don't see where her increased self confidence should be a reason for depriving you of pleasure. It sounds to me like is has made her greedy in regard to sex. All for me and none for you!

However, you did say the PIV sex was emotional for both of you. Did she not get pleasure from PIV sex and desire it more? If not for your benefit but for hers?

 

Do whatever she wants, and be grateful that you have a dominant Woman in your life.

 

That's the thing though, she doesn't deprive me of pleasure! Where as in the old days before chastity it was sex (very nice to) and all finished. It's now sex (in a different way) where she gets 2 or 3 orgasms at a time and I don't loose interest. I'm always in a state where I'm ready to serve her if you get what I mean. The fact that PIV is very emotional for us both is probably because it not something we do lots and lots! It really is difficult to explain but it works for us and is something I wouldn't change!

 

Now where's the superlike button??

 

Take your time, be open and honest even if it feels a bit embarrassing, and trust your Mistress.

There are no universal rules, each couple works it out for themselves.