How Chastity really began for me.

Ok, so this may not be the sexiest, erotic, charged diary of all time. But it is true. In lieu of ever posting an introduction I thought I’d share my journal from the start of my life in chastity.

The start of our new lifestyle.
The 17 day evolution from pushing my kink to becoming a submissive husband.


We’ve tried chastity on many occasions, on all of these it has carried through to nothing more than a little bit of fun. Previously, I recorded a 21 day best lock up period without any sexual pleasure, which preceded a night of my choosing; tied up in extreme fashion while she pleasured me in ways I had described, and poured my cum into my mouth at my request. For all intents and purposes any periods of chastity or our sex life was driven by me. This is an account of how my yearning for chastity evolved into my submission to her. As it was my goal, you could argue I still controlled the situation, but as I read this now I know that I now only have control over my actions to her demands.


Expecting another few days lock up and some fun, but also, more realistically a period where I’d tell her to not make me cum and she would find herself upset with me when I showed dissatisfaction that she had pleasured me. I had been trialling different sizes rings around the base of my cock to ensure the next chastity cage was inescapable. I was now down to comfortably the smallest ring available on an off the shelf cage. I’m not sure what my wife had even thought around chastity at this time, how she really received any clear direction of what I wanted or saw any benefits to herself. I think she just knew that I wanted it, and so ensured that I got it.

We’d had a bath and I was laid comfortably on the bed. She looked at me and said

“That should be in a cage”

And that’s how this started…


1: Overcoming the annoyance of another period of chastity

Day 1: I had thought that trialling these rings would allow me to purchase a better fitting cage, however as she had for the first time suggested I should be locked I didn’t feel I had any time to wait for a delivery. After she had left for work the next day I rummaged around the sex drawer below our bed deciding on what cage would be most suitable. The only one we had with a 40mm ring was the JTS S201 purchased from the house of denial. I’d previously worn this for 3 days but found the experience too uncomfortable and restrictive. I didn’t sleep well in it. Nonetheless, not wanting to miss this opportunity I put the cage on and the key on the headboard. It’s a small cage for my cock size and getting in was a struggle, I had wrapped my flaccid penis ribbon to keep everything in place just to squeeze into it. I was working until 10pm that evening and so wouldn’t be conversing with her again through the day. Within our usual messages while I’m at work I I told her that I’d left the key for her to put away.


Day 2: The next day I realised the key was still out. She hadn’t bothered to hide it away. We had a discussion that evening… an argument of sorts if you prefer. The main conclusion being that she didn’t really see the point as I wasn’t acting like a good ‘housewife’ anymore. During other periods of chastity I’d taken care of everything from day to day chores and routines to going the extra mile to help her out. As the cage had been off for a while the amount of work for her had dwindled, and in truth I really hadn’t been keeping up my end of the chastity agreement. I agreed, but explained that the reason for this was that it wasn’t a challenge and I had nothing to work towards. I wasn’t even locked up for most of the period she discussed. Nothing was sorted but I remained in my cage.


Day 3: After browsing on the internet I came across the thread on literature to help a reluctant wife. We’d read one before so I was sceptical but saw the “secret to a happy marriage” was popular. We bickered a little before bed and there was no sexual action. I will say as it was that time of a woman’s month (or every 3 months in my wife’s case due to the pill) I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. Nor was a poor atmosphere in the house of any surprise.


Day 4: When I got up for work (4:30am) I realised she was awake next to me on her phone. I changed like a ninja and quietly left. Seizing my moment before driving away from home I sent her a link to the manual with a caption of “a little light reading before work”. I didn’t get a response for an hour but knew she’d seen my message. A heated text exchanged followed.

“Why did I want her to be like those women who write these things?”

“Why dont you find someone who knows what they’re doing with it”

“I’m never going to wear a key around my neck”

I could tell that she wasn’t so much angry as maybe a little upset I had questioned things. Realistically, chastity wasn’t working… but before her period our sex life had been good. For me though, I missed the long lock ups and yearned for chastity. She has always been good at it, if not a little reluctant. She finds it hard to be dominant in the bedroom but is very much the alpha in our household in general.

I tried to explain that I showed her that as it was less threatening. More like us. The idea of chastity I had in my mind. I have to say even reading 1 orgasm per month made me anxious but I knew from our experiences allowing it wasn’t beneficial. I likened an orgasm to a night out; ‘drink too much you have a great night but a hangover the next day. Drink without going over your limit you still have a great time but you’re still happy and awake the next day.’

Getting home later I could sense her mood was still of annoyance and just instinctively apologised and hugged her.

To my surprise later in bed she started asking more probing questions about frequency of orgasms, do ruined orgasms count? when I’ve been watching porn? etc. we had a breakthrough of sorts. Sensing I’d only get one chance at this I decided to explain to her that she’s too generous when ruining my fun. Allowing play for too long. I showed her videos of good ruined orgasms. This actually first time we’ve watched porn together. We made out a little and she squeezed the cage but nothing more that night. The key by now I imagine is safely locked away!

So now, realising her new found understanding of less orgasms, explaining to how to ruin an orgasm. and a threat during our text exchange of “I don’t like sex when you don’t cum so that’s out of our life now”. I found myself really starting to worry about what I’d got myself into! Whether what I was asking for was really what I had in mind. I’d always wanted Chastity to keep the kink in our relationship, however this did not seem to be the outcome coming out from our discussions. Thinking to myself I decided that I should allow myself to release control and let her build into the KH she wants to be. You can’t force something that isn’t right for your partner, although doing so would be the greatest challenge for me.


Day 5: A weird quirk of my wife’s is that after her period she bleeds randomly on and off for a week. She was in bed in her underwear and I knew better than to try to near her more intimate areas. She laid on her front and told me it was time for a massage. This, normally the queue for foreplay and ultimately sex I wondered what was in store for the evening. I massaged her, tickled her, used my tongue all over her body and thighs. I could tell she was aroused and went to get her wand from the drawer below our bed. We always keep it plugged in… at some point the kids may question why there a cable running from the plug into our drawer but for now it stays, it’s certainly not the worst thing in there. While I was reaching in my wife told me to instead get the butt plug. I didn’t question which, I knew she meant the fist sized vibrating one. “I doubt you can even take it anymore”, she said. Handing it to her she said “no you can put it in”. She watched as I I tried to get it in. Back and forth fucking myself until it popped in. It’s an extreme toy and I can barely handle it. My cock throbbed and my body literally shook. I’ve known intense stimulus but the big plug coupled with 5 days orgasm free was incredible. My cock dribbles before sex but this made me physical ‘shoot’ the precum from myself. I attempted to continue my massage but I could barely move. I got back on top of her but by now I had dribbled on her in multiple places. Briefly massaging her and licking it from her she told me to stop and that was end. No orgasms for either of us. But I felt overwhelming satisfied and we kissed like it was the first time.


Day 6: I’d had a rough day at work. So I decided I could probably do with a drink. I expected no action, and was indeed told “you’re not having anything tonight”, I jokingly replied that I knew that as she couldn’t positively reinforce my drinking. I was quite shocked to hear her reply “oh if I want to do something I will. You don’t decide”

It wasn’t really like her but I kinda loved it!

Later while spooning and expecting a night of chilling she reached behind her and started fondling. Caressing my balls and back towards my ass. Fingering me briefly which I willingly allowed! When I was throbbing in my cage she moved her fingers to the end of my cock and rubbed it gently.

I thoroughly expected her to stop and go through with her claim that nothing was happening. She continued stroking the end of my penis. Over an hour I was shaking. Dribbling. I came close to orgasm just through that alone. Not just once. Every time i was close she instinctively stopped. After the programme had finished (which she had happily continued watching) she stopped. Kissed passionately, which seems to be our new thing and that was that. frustrated!!


2: We finally start to communicate


Day 7: We are now starting to be a little more honest with each other about things. We had an interesting night. She was clearly in an irritable mood and said it was a night off which was fine. Later we were joking around (well I was begging for fun) and she said “you wanted this, you didn’t want to be allowed out”… which in itself was true. But she also said “we can’t have sex now” but more of a complaint. I left it for a while and then explained that it doesn’t make me feel good when she’s unhappy about things and then pushes it onto me. We actually talked about it. The chastity had started to change things in an emotional way too… not just some weird kink. We’d become closer and more open with each other about how we were feeling in the situation. As it turns out she didn’t mean to be angry I wasn’t allowing it but she does miss sex, but she’s not going to do it unless I cum. Which is fine as I want her to do whatever she wants… but also understand I can’t cum all the time. I actually think she had an impression I don’t want to have sex with her anymore. I thought it beneficial to reassure her that my ‘complaints’ are only because she is doing a good job of teasing me and I already desperately want her. So we actually resolved it to a point where she was joking around the next morning, teasingly asking if I wanted sex yet.


That night she had washed me in the bath without my cage on. This being the first time free since it went on. She washed it as if she was giving me a handjob, stroking intensely. When she nearly had me over the edge she smiled and stopped. Then added more soap and said “I need to be thorough” and did it all again!

She’s genuinely getting pretty good at tease and denial.

Now I’m at work for two nights so there’s nothing more for me for a while. I’m desperate to play with her more than anything as it’s been too long already.


Day 8:

So after a week of trying not to discuss things too much, a complaint of hers while-ever I’m locked up. I made a shared note to keep any discussion away from our usual messages. I wrote my feelings on how the week has gone and left a space for her to write hers. From what I gather:

We’re now committed to a lifetime (reviewing in a few months of things change)

I am allowed a ruined orgasm once a week but if it affects my efforts out of the bedroom it will be less.

Sex or a full orgasm might happen once a month.

The only rule we have is that if I over step a boundary I’m in a weeks lockdown.

I think that’s what’s happening. She asked for a guidelines and when I said that her response was just. I love you. She appears to like to keep me guessing!

Right now as much as she is involved and making an effort with chastity, I still really feel like I’m forcing it. Pushing her to do the things that I want. She is obliging but I’m not convinced she wouldn’t be doing them without my encouragement.


Later that night I consider that maybe if she understands the reasons behind this. The more scientific reasoning she would be more understanding of why is so for the things I want. The ‘why’ always drives me on more than the ‘what’. I spend the night researching the effects of chastity on hormones and add it to my note. I didn’t mention that I’d done it, just left it for her to see in her own time.

Day 9: Another evening at work so no more fun.

I think she’s starting to feel committed to this. In the note yesterday I complimented her on how good her tease and denial is. I also reassured her that I’m gagging for sex now and her denying it is just making things better. She seems over the fact she hasn’t had that now… and is onto how to make this work for her. I’m now on a promise (or not she doesn’t make guarantees) of fun on Thursday, for her not me! And she’s left a list of things I need to do ‘if I ever want a night with Junior again’. It will take at least 3 days to complete. I’m desperate for that now more than sex…

She also groped me this morning and made me as hard as I can get but then said ‘well I’m sure you can make yourself cum in that cage, as I’m never doing it’. It’s like I’ve got a little mistress I never expected.


Side note. Junior is our largest dildo. They all have names. Junior named for his more larger attributes.


I find a reply to the notes I made on the effects of chastity on hormones and swallowing semen to reduce the refractory period:

‘No after reading that I conclude no more orgasms for you. Why should I suffer for 10 days so you can have a 10 second release’

3: She surprises me with her version of chastity


Day 10:
In the morning we were just goofing around and she was teasing me about a quickie. I said that “you said weren’t going to let me have any orgasms?” She told me she’d seen my reply to her last message… I’d told her that what she added had really turned me on.

“I’m serious, What’s the point if you’re going to be grumpy for 10 days? It would be a third of my time. Would you be upset if it wasn’t once a month like you expected?

I’ll still want sex on my birthday and stuff and maybe for yours.

You can still have milking, ruined orgasms and teasing.”


After she asked, “it won’t cause you any harm will it? It not dangerous?” Whether she’s teasing or not I’m not sure, but the thought processes are going around her head and I know I she’s serious on what she’s considering.


Other rules have followed the main one being; No touching myself even when it’s released. I can only feel myself when I’m putting my cage back on. She doesn’t see the point in going to all this trouble for me to be allowed to touch it.


I have also been told to delete the note, she doesn’t want me discussing things and taking control. This is just another avenue for me to tell her about it constantly.


Day 11:
I have been offered either a release out of the cage that I won’t enjoy or to bend over and take junior. I don’t know what to pick! Right now I’m more worried about her feelings in all of this. I haven’t pleased her once since it began and that’s way more important to me. I’m also concerned that if I have a handjob (even ruined) may take me back a few steps. I’m enjoying the motivation.

I don’t know if I’ve upset my wife over this as she seems to think I’m annoyed with her because she wants to watch something tonight, but nothing has happened for 5 days and that’s really my priority. I may have seemed annoyed with her about it, but I was upset because she didn’t seem to want to do anything again… turns out it was a misunderstanding as she meant watch it and then come to bed after . I’m going to regret this.


So I finally got to play with her! Thank god. When I was finishing up in the bath she came in with the key. Washed me and told me she is leaving it off but I was not allowed to touch myself at all.

After a long time of massaging her, with her telling me what was nice and what to do (which she never normally does) I finally got to go down on her. I feel a major relief of being able to be intimate with her again before using her wand to bring her to orgasm.

After that I got my reward. She played a little with it. Not at all the options she had laid on the table before. I was thankful as for some reason knowing what was coming had taken some of the pleasure of the situation. Her rules make me feel comforted, and she’d broke them herself by allowing me to expect something. She kneeled between my legs and began to lick the end of my throbbing cock. When I was really starting to enjoy myself watching her please the end of my penis like she was going down on a clitoris she changed her technique. She proceeded to give me a more normal blowjob. She allowed this for about 5 seconds… stopped for a short time… 6 seconds… 7 seconds… at 8 seconds I could feel myself just starting to enjoy it and thrusting slightly in pleasure. She stopped and after about 4 or 5 seconds of waiting my cum just dribbled out. She perfectly ruined it.

I don’t know if I’m over the moon that she’s mastered that technique or completely frustrated that I felt absolutely no pleasure at the end. It was certainly not an orgasm! I literally just responded with “oh no!”.

Later, after reflection I realise she’d stolen the whole scenario from the video I had shown her previously!


Day 12: We’re both absolutely shattered and fall asleep at 8:30pm. It appears not all days in chastity is a full on sex fest!


4: Asserting her dominance


Day 13: So after pushing a little hard for her to let me use a strapon and suggesting letting me have an orgasm (ruined) was making things easy. I have been set new rules:

1. If I bring up chastity when she hasn’t initiated it she’ll stop being my KH

2. If I show disappointment with anything she does she’ll stop being my KH.

She knows how to motivate! Obviously i submitted to these terms with two suggestions. If she doesn’t want me to shrink she gives me an erection once a week. To avoid pain when I do cum she milks me at least once a month to stop crystallisation. Whether these are scientifically proven I’m unsure, but you’ve got to be concerned about some things you read.

After that she told me “its time for my massage” (and orgasm). After, telling me “that was great, you can do that again tomorrow but with more oil” “when you’re deserving I may touch you”.

Before she went to sleep. She told me she wants me to get a new cage… before she’s been against “wasting money” but I feel she’s in it now completely. Describing the type she wants I show her one similar and search for the correct size in that style. A few days later I check the order and realise not only have I ordered the wrong ring style (which isn’t concerning as it’s compatible with the rings on my current cage) I’ve ordered the smaller size than intended.


Day 14:

During breakfast at a posh cafe. A rare occurrence as work patterns and children etc don’t always allow us the time together we’d hope. I ask about her sausage.

“We’ll it’s the only sausage I’ll get now we both agree you shouldn’t cum anymore”. I don’t actually know if she’s serious but my balls have got full so much quicker than expected after my ruined orgasm. I’m now so horny as it’s day three (always the day of the biggest struggle in chastity in my case), my nightly erections are currently at the painful stage. Her comment is too much. I’m scared and excited and a little bit throbbing.


Returning from work she is walking like she’s shit herself. She’s got a really serious back pain. I try to hide my disappointment that I won’t be massaging her again but ultimately fail. Please don’t think I’m unsympathetic. I do everything for her to ensure she doesn’t have to lift a finger. But as it’s been a long day I fall asleep really early.


Day 15

The following morning she believes I’m really pissed about the situation. Going to bed grumpy about not getting what I want. I explain that I am happy. We’re not going to argue over me falling asleep as I wasn’t upset with her at all. I’m happy as she’s changed our whole lifestyle for me. 15 days in and out level of communication is so much better, previously this could have lasted for days in a silent stand off. Each hating on each other when really there wasn’t a problem in the first place.

She’s teasing me again in the afternoon and we’re joking around, but she says either “what do even get out of it” or “what do I even want from it”. I’m not being the typical man not listening. I’m busy being a good housewife tidying, cooking tea, whilst ensuring my son does his homework. Not quite knowing the question and not wanting to seem like I wasn’t listening I just say it’s hard to answer but I’d write it down while I was cooking tea.

Normally, she’s not interested and I’d assume it was an impulse question… but she said when she’s in the bath she wants to see it. I took effort not to be too intimidating with my demands and phrased the things that we’ve enjoyed so far (and therefore the things she’s comfortable with) into my fantasy for the future:

What could be in 6 months time…
(A fantasy derived from our current experiences)

Being in the cage has become the new normal. (Wife) has decided that releasing me is no longer necessary. She believes I’m better without my orgasms and the rewards for her out-weigh the negatives. She doesn’t see a link between my orgasm and general happiness nor my sexual satisfaction. She doesn’t really see the need for me to cum. I’m now at a stage where I’m dying to be be inside her every time we’re intimate but she continues to deny or tease me about the situation. I’m desperate for her. At time she plays with me out of the cage to tease me and keep me motivated, however my hands are tied down to stop me pleasuring myself. The only time I’m allowed to touch myself is to replace the cage. When I do cum it’s not intentional and often ruined.
The wheel has been spun but it never seems to land on anything for me.
Pegging happens frequently as (wife) doesn’t want me to miss out on sex and this is the most fun way for her to milk me and prolong the lock up.

On special occasions and when she really wants it (wife) releases me for sex. But now she takes a real pleasure in seeing how excited I get from her teasing and enjoys the massages and pleasure she gets. The collection of toys for her in the sex drawer has grown.

We no longer discuss the situation as that’s how it is. She’s happy and I’m satisfied by that.


What’s in it for me? I live with the comfort of being in her control. I may no longer receive the momentarily release that I long for, but I live in a constant state of good feeling. There’s actually a loving (if not somewhat twisted) devotion shown by (wife) to make this happen.

Feeling awesome when I’ve selflessly given (wife) an orgasm!

— (wife) I took her name out of it —

Initially her only response was “whats pegging?”

Massaging her later as she’s still in agony with her back we finally discuss it. We seem on the same page;

She tells me I won’t be cumming. If I do and I don’t tell her and it isn’t ruined they’ll be punishments.

I won’t be touching myself at all. Even when uncaged.

She’ll peg me a lot but she’s waiting for the first time in hope to give me an orgasm through it.

There’s no need for a safe phrase or word as whileever she’s getting what she wants she doesn’t know why it should stop.

She wants me to give her some ideas on easy ways to tease me. I suggested as an example it’s easy just to tell me to wear sexy underwear. She takes that on board and instructs me to do so.

There’s also a sale on at lovehoney and she says I can get her more toys! The fact she’s advising this tells me she’s happy for me to do so but looking briefly she says, “just surprise me as I don’t like looking at them”.


Day 16:
I’ve got my review so this is what she’s instructed me to wear!

IMG_3951.heic


My wife was out for the night with her girlfriends.

With her bad back for last two days, socialising tonight and me being at work tomorrow this will be 4 days where I’ve barely been touched. I’m longing again for some sort of release.

I spend the evening purchasing sex toys and writing up some teases as she requested.

For the first time while buying toys I haven’t looked for size or extremes. I genuinely looked for purchases that she will enjoy; checking reviews and considering the practical uses. Along with a cheap back massager and a ruler for punishments I’ve purchased:

1. Rechargeable knicker vibrator for use while pegging
2. A slim and flexible G-spot dildo. An introduction to insertable toys I hope she’ll enjoy.
3. Pro2 clitoral suction stimulator. They have amazing reviews but look rather unappealing.

I also purchase her an oversized Pokémon T-shirt and a pack of boy short pants to wear while wearing her strap-on. I love seeing her in comfortable clothes whilst doing my favourite sexy thing. Not making a giant effort to do so also ensures she’s more comfortable with the idea rather than making a giant song and dance every time.

While shes out I send her the easy teases she can do without much effort.



I receive the response:


I’ll read it later but only if you’ve sorted camping stuff xxxx


It’s late and I was happy chilling out in bed but i instinctively find myself ensuring everything is sorted. I have well and truly submitted to her.


5: I’m finally longing to be released


Day 17:
The day I finally realise the tides have turned and she’s taken control.

I wake up early. My cock is throbbing. My balls feel large and tight. Maybe it’s that the affects of the ruined blowjob 5 days ago appear to have gone. Maybe it’a because I’ve not had sex this month and can’t get how amazing that felt out of my head. Maybe it’s because any contact I have received has been restrained to around 10 seconds each evening. Last night as she toyed with me, I was instructed to keep talking about my day as she swirled her fingers on my soon to be mostly covered cock. Whatever it is, for the first time ever I’m dying to be released from my confines.


I make my first ever genuine request to be released and allowed inside her.

“No, that’s not happening. It’s not even time for a milking yet”


There’s nothing left to prepare. Nothing left to discuss. We know what the fantasy was. She’s grown into her role as keyholder… and I have submitted to her rules and demands. My choice in this has been decided.


I sit back and consider “This is it. My life in chastity has finally begun”


Whether this is a chastity success story in the long run will remain to be seen. But that’s how the story started.


If you’re frustrated that chastity hasn’t worked in your relationship and want to take anything from this. Know that you have to be willingly open to discuss. Explain. Take the bad times and respond with support. Create an atmosphere where your intended KH feels comfortable to be themselves in the situation. Above all, be willing to compromise on what you expect… as what I’ve found is that the compromise is better. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to feel in control. Do I get all the kinky things I expected going into this? Do I fuck her with a fake penis while she pours my dripping cum into my mouth? No. Do I strut around in lingerie while she calls me a sissy? No. I don’t get really half as much as I thought this could be going into it, but we’re both genuinely happy with where we are and everything she now does feels more intimate as it’s genuine. Our relationship is better.

Do you want the person your with to be someone different? Or do you want to have the fantasy you desire with the person you love being who they want to be?


Since then my wife continues to grow into her role in her own time. She’s becoming more confident sexually and her verbal teasing skills are exceptional:


When I reminding her the promise of Junior I received the response “remember, I don’t owe you anything”


When I ask for sex. Even when she’s dripping and playing with her vibrator i get responses like:

“We don’t want to threaten you emotional balance”

“I’ll have sex with you later” (referring to her pegging me)

“You know we don’t do that anymore”

“I prefer the vibrator”

The thing is. She’s always smiling when she denies me. She’s happy to do so and I find great satisfaction that she’s genuinely enjoying herself. The days without pleasing her are tougher for me now than the fact I may never have a full orgasm again. The thought I may never feel myself inside her still torments me.


The new cage arrived. It was small. I expressed my concerns about being trapped and the potential shrinkage. After a weekend away she walked into the bathroom with the keys ( which in itself is surprising as she normally makes me get the keys for her). Wash time? Nope. “It’s time for your smaller cage”.

Asking whether she’s worried it might make things smaller she replies “no that doesn’t matter, we don’t use it anymore”.

When I tell her it’s ok as at least I can pee standing up she responds “no, you sit down. You have the humiliation of sitting down every time!”



Thanks for taking the time to read how my journey began.

 

I’ve kept diaries of my chastity journeys before. I used to use them as I have to remind myself what my wife had done during that period as I’d be complaining after a few days that nothing had happened etc.
This one just turned out to be the fruition of way more than a period of chastity.
Decided to put it on here as I read a lot of questions about how to turn wives into keyholders. I have way more time on my hands now as I no longer waste my time with porn so turned it into something (almost) readable!

I no longer keep a diary.
Day 22: no orgasm
Day 23: no orgasm
….
Day 34: no orgasm
Day 35: no orgasm
….
Wouldn’t be much of a read!