I have posted in the past about my patience with my vanilla wife and my desire for chastity. Last month she opened up and told me she wanted to go back to our FLR relationship because she likes me better when i am denied. She agreed to let me have the cage in the house and to use it when she is away. Two days ago she let me bring her to orgasm by licking her and at the last minute i entered her but she told me not to cum. She made pull out and told me she was done. I was in heaven. Yesterday she told me that she would be at her school until late. I told that i would need to use the cage without her there and she just said whatever. She gets home and i rub her feet and her back before bed. I tell her i am still locked and she says " i don`t want to talk about it." So i went through the night and our sons sporting event this morning with my cage on. We just got home and she told me to do the dishes. I asked her again what she wants me to do with the cage. She says again, "i don`t want ro talk about it." Tonight is our night for sex each week. I don`t know what to do. This is the longest I have been locked. Do I just enjoy the ride or try and get her to tell me what she is up too? I have the key. Do i just stay locked until she tells me to take it off?
Sounds like to me that your journey has just started . You could always take it to the next step by giving her the keys. You will find that not having the keys will make the journey more pleasurable for you and her. With her being in charge you won't have to ask about the cage anymore ,but it sounds like she is already headed there. Oh course there won't be any more set sex nights. Good luck
That's the thing. She won`t say anything. I think she is bluffing me to see if i will take it off. It is getting uncomfortable and I keep having erections, but I`m not taking it off until she tells me to. I`m just going to play it cool and see if anything happens tonight.
Sounds like you are getting what you asked for, It is hard to give up all the fantasies you’ve had about what it would be like to be in chastity. However, she is now in charge of what happens next. Whatever version of chastity evolves for the two of you will be unique. I am in a similar vanilla relationship and trying to introduce chastity. At first, I was hoping she would be all excited about controlling me. Now I realize that I need to control me first, it is not up to her accept the burden of doing so. My wife knows that I am wearing the cage, but doesn’t want to be bothered with it. She call the cage “scary” and doesn’t want to see it. She also doesn’t want to talk about it, but if she says take it off” then it comes off, I wear it Sunday night to Friday evening and take it off for the weekend. At night, I keep covered with pajamas or boxers so she doesn’t see it. Seems like the best advice I have received so far is to not rush things. Let her catch up to you in her comfort with this. And, don’t pressure her by talking about it at all. Let her be the one to start any conversations on chastity. Keep us posted on how things are going. Learning from each other is the best part of this site. Good luck!
That is exactly like my wife. She does have a mischevious side to her and that is what's coming out now i will keep you posted.
I think you've got figured out... patience and let her lead. Lock it and forget it until she mentions it, she is very well aware you have it on. Not easy but it's the long game to play.
Sorry guys, false alarm. I gave her massage last night which led to me pleasing her with my tongue. I undressed while pleasing her and she noticed the cage, which she does not like to look at. She asked me why i still had it on. I replied that she hadn`t told me to take off. We kind of laughed about it and she let me bring her to orgasm while wearing it. After taking it off she told me that i can`t leave the house with it on. I explained that i had it on all day and know one knew including her. At least the seed has been planted. She will allow it as a tool for me to keep from cumming around the only. She is really getting into the FLR lifestyle and loves denying me and how good I am to her when i haven`t been allowed an orgasm. When I said small steps, I meant very small steps. At least I got to experience full chastity for one day. Well sort of.
My wife also expressed concern about wearing it out of the house. "What if you were in an accident?", Etc. My response was consistent in that I would be the one embarrassed, not her. She would be the one that the hospital staff would look at with wonder/respect/amazement that she had actually locked a man's cock up in a cage. After a while she grew comfortable with her position and how people would view her (and me) and eventually she stopped worrying about it. It all just takes time. Even if it's only in the house, you are still being dominated by your special someone, and that's hotter than anything you had before
You are right it is pretty hot. She has come a long way since i first brought it up to her a year ago. Small steps. I will use your way of explaining what the hospital staff will be thinking. That may work. Thanks.
Seems like a lot of great progress. I’m curious as to what part of your chastity is starting to appeal the most to your wife. How are you highlighting that benefit for her? PS: Don’t worry about the hospital staff, they have likely seen it all. I suspect their biggest concern would be how to get the cage off. Carrying an emergency key can help (and might help alleviate your wife’s “what if” fears). Cherrykeeper.com has a 3d printed case that can be used to store an emergency key to carry with you when out. The case is locked by a numbered plastic lock. A quick photo can verify that the emergency key has not been used. Other options are also out there.
I think anyone in emergency services fire/police/ambulance/medical truly has seen it all and then some. Likely we are the ones overthinking it and they wouldn't even remember it by the end of their shift. Or would they?... Hold on, I see a short story forming here... Just kidding, but I do think with time both you and your spouse will just naturally grow comfortable with it, as what it brings to the relationship far outweighs any fear of judgement by strangers you'll never see again. I'm 49 though and long past caring what anyone else thinks, life's too short.
We stopped doing the chastity/FLR thing a couple of minths ago. She noticed the change in me when i am masterbating regularly. I end up resenting her when we don`t have sex. She brought it back up and told me she missed the attention. I like the scheduled teasing during the week and the possible piv on saturday. We are in the honor system mostly, but i use the cage when i feel week. It does work and I love giving her pleasure and attention. She has taken more control this time around and has accepted the cage at home.
It is interesting that she noticed a change when you were masturbating regularly. I have been abstinent for just over 2 months on my own honor. I too lock up when I start to feel weak. I leave the key out so she can claim it if she chooses. (Which she has not yet chosen to do.) I know I will eventually give in to my own desires at some point, and I do wonder if she will notice when I do so. Nice to know a similar relationship is working for others. Thanks for sharing
We agreed on teasing session on wednesday and piv sex on saturday if i`m good. The wednesday session ussually has me bringing her to orgasm with my tongue. She sometimes lets me enter her as long as i don`t cum on those says and that is awsome. Before we started this we could go months without sex. We have grown much closer, but it can be difficult at times. She knows if i have an orgasm because she can tell by my attitude. It's strange in that sometimes I prefer it when I`m inside her and she makes me stop without finishing because I know it will be a letdown. We are still experimenting with it. We are much closer now, but she sometimes complains about me becoming a pushover when denied. I simply task her if she would you prefer me the way I was before. That usually ends that pretty quick. Two months is long time. Does your abstinance usually end with a reward?
when you locked yourself you ought to have put the keys on her dressing table or somewhere prominent and just maybe she will decide to hide them.... and bam... its really starting to begin
I agree. Keeping the keys out somewhere offers the opportunity to take them. However, as much as I would love that to happen. I am thinking that she wants me to have self-control instead of being under her control. Therefore, she has not yet taken the keys, and I wonder if displaying them reminds her of how little self-control I had. When I started this journey, I realized that I was being selfish by not saving myself for her. Before I started saving myself for her, our encounters would be about 2 times per month and I used masturbation to satisfy my needs in between encounters. Unfortunately, the most noticible side effect of masturbation was that I was unable to orgasm during our encounters together. I thought I was being the manly man, able to last a long time to please her, but it was not what she wanted. I finally realized that she was hurt when I did.not orgasm for her. So, I decided to stop masturbation to see if it made a difference. And it did, I went from long lasting stud to minute man. So far, she seems to notice and like that effect the most. She seems pleased that she can make me so extremely excited. Each time I warn her before I orgasm and each time she tells me she wants me to do so. As a result, I suspect she would know if I started masturbation again, but I'm don't want to test this. But I am certain to give her pleasure. I typically use my mouth to make her cum hard, but also fingers and vibrators work well. However, she seems to particularly enjoy having me eat her out if I orgasm before she does. I think that seems like a fitting punishment for not lasting long enough to please her. Don't you? So, yes the reason I have been able to abstain from masturbation is because the reward I get from waiting for her is so great. It is also unpredictable, and I feel myself growing more connected to her as my only source for relief. However, she clearly wants a man in bed, not a pushover, so I need to balance my yearning to submit with her need for a masculine man to take her in bed.