I just turned 18 and am going to college next fall (in southern Missouri if anyone wants to have a little fun), I am currently locked in a cobra, whatever the smaller size is. I hope to get a PA soon and be locked for much longer lengths of time, in a custom cage from badassworkroom if I can find the money. Eventually the goal is permanent chastity. Anyone have any helpful tips for a new life as a locked virgin?
Welcome. hat encouraged you to embrace chastity at such a young age? Do you have a key holder or are you self locking? Actually I first became interested in chastity in my late teens so you are not alone!
If I’m being honest, I was groomed when I was younger and chastity was one of the things it started with, I’m okay now but much of what I was exposed to sticks around. My partner is asexual and doesn’t ever want anything to do with sex is what I’m told. I am self locking and they know nothing about it. I would love to be locked by someone but I just can’t really see that happening. My partner has told me that I am allowed to go outside of the relationship to fulfill any sexually related desires as they know that I am not entirely confident on my sexuality due to past experiences but I just don’t know that I’ll ever actually do so. I want to be owned and belong to someone so I think permanent chastity is the direction I will end up going in.
When I was about 12, I found the wrong side of the internet and got blackmailed into making child porn for this group of pedos for a few years. The worst it ever got was when I was raped by one of them when I was 16. I got out of it but the effects are still there and as bad as it was, I did learn a lot about myself, or maybe who I am changed, but I’m into what I’m into so I just gotta roll with it now.
I was afraid it was something like that, I hope you have had some therapy as there's no way to tell the long term damage stuff like that can cause, even if you think you feel ok now.
I was in a psych ward for a while, been in therapy for a hot minute too. I am better mentally but not well, that’s just how it is. I am confident that I have identified the nature of my sexual desires though, it’s just pursuing that with outside parties that is scary for me. I want to experience things but I don’t want to end up in another bad situation.
I am so sorry you were abused when you were younger. It must be so difficult to get over. You are very young, may I suggest that when you go to college you date some of the girls. That hopefully will help you to first enjoy a normal sex life. Dont get pressurized into settling down too early in life. There is so much to enjoy and with a bit of luck you can find a girl who would like a FLR and be very happy to keep you chaste. Only by experiencing "normal" loving kink will you be able to put what happened to you into perspective and feel more confident.
That makes a lot of sense. I’ve got a partner right now who is asexual and I don’t think we’ll be separating any time soon so I can’t realistically pursue any outside relationship that is more than just sexual
Sorry about the abuse you went through. I had some abuse in my childhood too. I joined men's group based on MKP New Warrior project and was able to work though lots of my issues. I still have hard time opening up, trusting man, etc., but I feel more confident now. Find people you can talk to you, someone you can trust, or even strangers you will never see again. You are not alone, and you can become who you wish to be. Good luck brother.
I’m honestly not sure if I can have a sexual relationship without an emotional one so maybe I’m just fantasizing here. He won’t become any less asexual so realistically I think I’m just gonna lock up forever and not tell him so I can focus on making him as happy as possible
What do you want out of life for yourself? Do you have an emotional connection with your boyfriend, even if not a sexual one? Will you be happy if you lock yourself and never have sex with anyone for your whole life? He's already given you permission to explore other opportunities, so maybe you should. Besides, one of the key elements of chastity is denying the man something that he really wants, and that usually means that it's something that he's had before. But if you're a virgin and you lock up, do you really know what you're missing? If you were to explore a sexual relationship with someone else, do you even know if you'd be a top or a bottom?
You make a some good points. I honestly don’t know how to answer right now but I’ve got some things to think about. Thanks for the input
While none of us here are licensed therapists, feel free to let us help you in any way we can. It's terrible what happened to you, especially with you being so young, so if our amateur therapy helps in any way, use it as much as you want.
Is this real? We’re going to take this seriously? Raped 2 years ago - but now you’re looking for no strings sex? Grooming started at 12 with chastity but now you’re self locking? 18 but you call your other half partner? And looking to have sex outside that relationship… even though you’re only 18? Get a grip and get a partner that actually fulfils your desires… it’s not like it’s long term or anything… only out there fucking imaginary peados a few years back!!
I tried. I tried to believe everyone is genuine from the outset… this is just a story too far. And the escalation? Off the charts! Post two, grooming as a child? At least give us some time to digest the asexual partner
I realize this all sounds stupid and made up. I’m probably not helping to clarify anything. It sounds very erratic because my mind is trying to fulfill my own desires at the same time it’s trying to shut them out so I can make my partner happy. Also I don’t think it’s weird that I call him a partner that’s what he is. We’ve been together for four years and I’d like to think it’ll last. I’m sorry this whole thread is a shit show