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Her favourite thing about me being locked.

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by richard, Sep 6, 2017.

  1. richard
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    richard Just me
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    I was just chatting to someone about this and thought I'd post it.

    When I'm locked I find I give a lot more back strokes and massages to my lovely wife.
    Stroking and massaging all the parts requested for as long as she desires.
    We can have a more intimate time with sex being securely locked out of the picture.
    This is probably the main thing she likes about me being locked.

    I can give strokes and even include her breasts and around her pussy and it doesn't matter how aroused I get.
    As I wont be getting in.

    Sometimes she reaches over takes me by the balls gives a squeeze and pulls me to face her and softly demands "Stroke".

    Not sure if the balls bit is considered sexual. But she keeps a grip of them to make sure I don't touch where she doesn't want.

    I often think the cage to remove cock from the equation and ball grip to control the stroking etc. For me it feels sexual but for her it's probably more like having a remote control device.
     
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  2. Richard, just wondering what you are getting our of it. I understand you are treating your wife better but is she returning the favor. I have read a lot of posts and note a similar theme where the wife is getting a benefit, but don't see the advantage to the husband.
     
  3. Was wondering, have you ever had sex with your wife knowing that she was just doing it for you? She felt obligated since it's been awhile, she thinks you will keep bugging her until she relents so she just lets you? You pretend that since she's actively involved she wants to, she pretends that she wants to...all because of your need to be sexually satiated. This never happens in chastity. That sinking feeling in your belly where you are unsure if she's just doing this for you, is she just going through the motions? In chastity, every time she touches your penis, every time you have sex or you orgasm, its because she wants it to happen. Every time. Even if she is doing it strictly for your benefit, it's still her idea and something she WANTS to do.

    This is a very liberating feeling. I can never take things too far, make her feel uncomfortable, feel rejected, or worry about what activity or if that is what she actually wants done to her. Do you know why? Its because our sex and how far it goes is always up to her. There is a great feeling, knowing you're partner is happy, and not just sexually. And doing things even if you don't get anything physical in return, gives you something...her happiness, and yours.
     
  4. Mistress Lucy
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    Mistress Lucy L-u-c-y
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    She's locking him up and fulfilling his chastity fetish, is that not enough?
     
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  5. I really like the fact that I don,t have to ask, She tells me what she wants and I love doing things for her, I enjoy touching and she doesn't have to think that
    I want anything else. There is never a question about what's up. She decides and away we go.
     
  6. thats the ideal scenario and you are truly lucky and obviously so is your keyholder.
     
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  7. That's what I was thinking.

    Don't get me wrong, of it's. Case of "locked then forgot" then that's not going to work for long. But let's be honest, the vast, vast, majority of the time the man wanted this.

    Ultimately what they wanted was a mixture of giving the lady in their lives control, even if that means not getting nearly as many orgasms as they would like.

    Without trying to be a crawler I do end up giving more back rubs and affection when locked, that is what she likes most about it.
     
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  8. I have to say that when going to bed,I love touching my wife. I here what your saying but,I'm saying to going to sleep I can't help rubbing her back while she goes to sleep.
    There is something that really satisfy the passion that comes from the devotion you have for that person. More back rubs are one thing, sleeping wife and kissing her back and kissing her shoulders while she sleeps! There is more to it then that. Yes,I am locked up and can't do anything, but that does not stop way I feel. Maybe you feel that that way, but holding the one you love while they sleep is so awesome I would stay locked up forever, For some people it is a game,for some people it is life,
     
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  9. Respectfully no.. at least it would not be enough for me.

    Firstly I want to be in an exclusive relationship in which we both respect and deeply care for each other... with as much compatability as possible.

    Yes I want to be locked and denied by her and would be greatful that she has taken an interest ...but primarily I want to be locked and denied for her.
    Ideally her interest in being my Key Holder would become self driven, and developed to a point where any future attempt at unsolicited guidance from me would no longer be welcome.

    If she is not fully engaged / embracing the lifestyle and exercising control for herself she is denying herself some of the potential benefits she could be seeking from me. Which in turn denies me the kick I get from being locked and denied by and for her.

    I love pleasing and giving pleasure to my partner ..in anyway I can both in and out of the bedroom all I really ask from her is that she lets me and she genuinely enjoys and appreciates it. For me being locked and denied is a head-fuck and when she contributes towards that head-fuck in any way she enhances it.. hopefully for us both.

    Ideally she learns the benefits to her of accepting the role and asks for and enjoys them which gives me the pleasure of being in my role.
    In short She wants and I want to provide.

    So again and with respect Mistress Lucy... it would not be enough for me.
     
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  10. richard
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    richard Just me
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    We are in an exclusive relationship in which we both respect and deeply care for each other. Have been since 1987. Not everyday has to be a sexually charged day. We have normal life to lead too. Especially mid-week. Chastity helps with this. Hence the cuddles and strokes.

    The thread seems to be going a bit off topic. It is about what she likes not what I like.

    yes. I enjoy the sexual waiting game that is male chastity. My orgasms are a lot stronger if I have to wait longer for them.
     
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  11. I am having a similar experience with my Wife.

    On Monday, after she had showered with me, she asked me to give her a massage with body lotion. I too got to rub her back and bottom, then she turned over and I massaged her breasts, abdomen, thighs and the area around her pussy. She also raised her legs and rested her clave she on my shoulders, telling me to massage her legs, knowing full well what the view was doing to me.

    On Tuesday she had a foot soak ad a foot massage. We were again in her bedroom and naked.

    On Wednesday she had a face mask. All three evenings were spent with me reading to her.

    As for what am I getting out of it, I'm getting to be intimate with a very happy, content, naked, frisky Wife. Every night. Before all this chastity stuff I would be lucky to get that much intimacy in a two week period.
     
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  12. I
    I still can't wrap my mind around it , but my boyfriend said he likes to be locked up because he likes to be controlled
     
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  13. richard
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    richard Just me
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    It would be interesting to discover what aspect you like best about it. Or what idea you like about it.
     
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  14. Yeah definitely, so far it's the fact that when he wears it , the pleasure is all about me- where as without it- it's all about him- so far it's been fun!
     
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  15. Don't over think it ... I'm sure you have heard the saying "Men think with the wrong head" (meaning that that their thoughts are always influenced by their dick / pleasure) ... by being locked up he is able to start thinking more "clearly" ... specifically if he is locked and in the process of pleasing you, he is forced to think less of his pleasure and more of yours.

    It grows from there ... the longer he is denied orgasm the more his thinking gets changed (think training him) ... as my KH puts it "The better I am at giving her what she wants (can be anything from sexual to cleaning the house) the more pleasure I will get" (of course pleasure does not mean orgasm). This of course means that I want more pleasure, so I give her more of what she wants ... which leads to us both being VERY HAPPY.

    So to define "he likes to be controlled" = he wants to make you happy ... so let him make you happy.
     
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  16. Her favorite thing about keeping me locked up is such an open ended question. Anyone who has lived in a FLR for any length of time and have tried to make a genuine effort probably would tell you there are several "favorites" on her why I lock him list. So, do we mention specifics or make generalizations. Generally speaking, I think she loves the total control and how special and loved it can make her feel, the closeness, knowing that I often look desperately for another way in which I can give myself up to her. In more specific terms, I know she loves the limitless oral sex, body massages, shaving her, general house duties, etc. Being a very social person,..I know she also enjoys her many new found freedoms which include going out more frequently without me to be with her friends and freely punishing me for anything that upsets her or she finds inappropriate. I can see now that she actually gets some amount of enjoyment in emasculating and punishing me, although this took some time for her to become comfortable with. She also knows I can be a flirty little slut when she's not around, and she likes knowing my sex drive is stunted. I believe she is enjoying many facets of keeping me locked.
     
  17. Love it! Thanks
     
  18. Respectfully .. I was responding to Mistress Lucy and not to the Thread..
     
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  19. Mistress Lucy
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    Well it's enough for Richard and his wife, who the thread is about :)
     
  20. All is well then.
     
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  21. I'm not in a cage but I am denied, I just love the feeling of being horny, on edge, and submissive to my dominant wife. She treats me better and better all the time, both in and out of the bedroom.
     
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  22. I find that being locked up does make one more attentive, so for people asking what Richard gets out of the deal, possibly a more loving relationship, a closer connection with his wife?
    After all, his wife will have noticed his eagerness to please. Hasn't he already said that sometimes she will just grab him by the balls and tell him how to please her, would that have happened had he not have been in chastity? They are both gaining these extra moments to display affection.
     
  23. Just curious if being locked to "make" someone more loving isn't an aggressive form of manipulation to get what you want. Since it appears that sex for most women is an extreme hardship, would it be appropriate for the husband to withold something that is very important to her in order to get what he wants? I never thought my penis was a weapon and item of disgust that my wife doesn't want anywhere near her. I guess if it is, I married wrong. I think there is a big difference between using chastity play as a sex game vs a tool to control and manipulate. Not making any judgments but trying to separate the wheat for the chaff.
     
  24. Aggressive manipulation, I guess that could be true if you are being locked against your own will, however I'm not sure that is the case here.
    Who said your penis was a weapon, or disliked by your wife?
     
  25. I received this comment/response in an earlier post and that was what I was referring to. If it is such a traumatic event........ I would also note that every time she says No, I am being rejected.

    "Was wondering, have you ever had sex with your wife knowing that she was just doing it for you? She felt obligated since it's been awhile, she thinks you will keep bugging her until she relents so she just lets you? You pretend that since she's actively involved she wants to, she pretends that she wants to...all because of your need to be sexually satiated. This never happens in chastity. That sinking feeling in your belly where you are unsure if she's just doing this for you, is she just going through the motions? In chastity, every time she touches your penis, every time you have sex or you orgasm, its because she wants it to happen. Every time. Even if she is doing it strictly for your benefit, it's still her idea and something she WANTS to do.

    This is a very liberating feeling. I can never take things too far, make her feel uncomfortable, feel rejected, or worry about what activity or if that is what she actually wants done to her. Do you know why? Its because our sex and how far it goes is always up to her. There is a great feeling, knowing you're partner is happy, and not just sexually. And doing things even if you don't get anything physical in return, gives you something...her happiness, and yours."
     
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