1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Help!

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by Benni, Sep 3, 2017.

  1. Hello everyone,
    My boyfriend of 3 years is hiding male chastity belts from me.
    I'd be ok and might even join him as his "goddess" ...if it's just us 2- if he were open and honest but he does it behind my back- first time I found it in his back pack while putting his folded clothes away, second time I saw he was on KIK in a bondage chat room talking dirty to other women.
    This last time I found another one in his backpack, this one is meta and has a lock that requires a code VS a key.
    I brought it up to him both times and asked why he doesn't tell me about it- second time I wasn't upset because other women were involved and I wasn't his "goddess" he promised he wouldn't get on the chat again- this time he's not in the chat but he's got another "toy"- and he's hiding it from me...again.
    I don't think he's cheating- but I'm not sure, he goes to work without his boxers on, -and he's very protective of his phone.
    We live together so I think I would know if he had a mistress "key holder"...help!!!!
     
    spider203 likes this.
  2. he knows you would like to be his mistress and still hides it from you ?
     
  3. No he doesn't know I would like to be his mistress- but I'm his girlfriend and I told him I would be okay with doing whatever it is that he's doing with him & he said he didn't want me to do anything that I felt uncomfortable with. And he said it's something he needs to grow out of and he's trying to stop- so we left it at that.... and now- he's bought another one.
    oesnt
     
  4. the only thing I can take from it is that he likes the fantasy of being locked with a key holder .
    have you ever seen it on him ?
     
    Benni likes this.
  5. He is cheating on you behind your back, everyone who is in a relationship who is not cheating would not have any problem with leaving the phone unlocked and also for you to check if you wanted.
    Even if he is not having sex, he is still having an emotional relationship with someone else.
     
  6. It seems there are some major communication issues here. I would say that playing with chastity may be fun for him, but there seems to be a bigger issue here with communication and or trust. If you have been together for 3 years and are serious, he shouldn't be hiding what he is doing. If you were a friend of mine I would say its time for a talk. Maybe he is embarrassed of his submissive mind set, maybe he is hiding something more devious.
    If he is saying he is trying to grow out of his desires and you are ok with him being locked maybe you need to verbalize your acceptance. I know it was difficult to discuss my desires with my wife, but after some trial and error we have been much happier in our relationship. We have embarrassed my locked up state and it has been nothing but beneficial. If you do decide to move into a chastity relationship please know we are all here to help, but I wound not pursue this until you have had a serious talk with one another, and laid down YOUR desires.
     
    Benni likes this.
  7. The talk probably needs to happen, explaining to him that you are comfortable and curious about being his keyholder. It's not known what exactly he's trying to curb...masterbation or being controlled.

    There is the fantasy version of this u could play out for him if you think he really wants this but is too shy. Being stern about finding his cages, telling him to show it to you on, take the keys and tell him that from now on you call the shots. Throw out some very sexy teasing and he will either be into it, tell him he's done with this hiding and sneaking stuff, that he is yours and his days of making penis decisions are over.

    This is fantasy stuff and reality is never this fun, but if you are really interested in doing this, it certainly would get the ball rolling.
     
    Benni likes this.
  8. I did check his phone and there's no texts or no phone apps
     
  9. Hey - that's a great idea.... question- The toy that he currently has does not have a lock it has a lock code - and how do I tell him that I found it in his backpack without him getting upset about me looking in his and how do I tell him that I found it in his backpack without him getting upset about me looking in his backpack backpack ?..
     
  10. You are the one upset(for show), he doesn't need to know how you found it, he was sneaking and told lies. You sit him down, tell him you found his cage, and that you want this. Tell him you want to learn how the cage works, want to see it on him, and explain you were at first hurt that he hid this from you, but then you were very excited and turned on by it. This means a lot to you and want this.
     
    Joroincharge and Benni like this.
  11. Lock him up..take his key..put him to work as your sub in and out of the bedroom..
     
  12. Mistress B
    Offline

    Mistress B Mistress B
    Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2012
    Messages:
    2,357
    Likes Received:
    2,878
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Business Owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    lol. That's settled that then.
     
    Benni and Sublifter49 like this.
  13. It really can be that simple...men aren't that complicated...
     
    Benni likes this.
  14. Ya either take control of the situation and make him your slave in all things or kick him to the curb and drive on.
     
  15. When I went to other women to engage in my fetish sex, I considered it cheating. I told my wife and she asked her girlfriend to dominate me and she did for the next 30 years, along with my wife. Worked out great because they are both bi.

    There are two reasons for his behavior. I have dommed married women because either their husbands were not dominant and would never be as good as a guy into domination. There is a lot of truth in that regardless of your willingness to dominate him. My wife does so at times to please me but is not even close to a real dominant woman.

    The other reason married wives gave was that they could not act all submissive and have their husbands do things to them, like peeing on them, whipping them raw and treating them like they wanted to be treated and then face them outside of the bedroom. I can understand that. How do you go from being your husband's or wife's toilet and allow all sorts of things, to then being a loving wife outside of sex. That is difficult to do. However, it sounds that your boyfriend has found a way to have his cake and eat it too. He did not at least give you a chance and you do not have years of experience in being a Mistress which matters even if you are willing to learn.
     
    Benni likes this.
  16. So we talked... and he said he wears it to stop him from looking at porn. He said there's nobody else. He said he does t know why he's that way.
    I told him I didn't want him to change and I want to be with him forever so I'd have to accept it.
    And then I made him put it on... and told him to wear it while we go to dinner and that when we get home he can take it off after I wear somenthing sexy for him and make him take off my lingerie first ...with his mouth. & i told him all this while he wore it and he was so turned on!!!!
    As long as we do it together I'm ok with that
     
  17. Just did!
     
  18. It's possible he loves the fantasy but afraid of the reality of you holding his key long term. It's a great sign he wore it for you out though, good luck!
     
    Benni likes this.
  19. Well that's a win then, far too many couples never discover what really turns their other half on.
    Or perhaps more sadly, do discover it but decide they'd rather not bother.

    Chastity is a bit like porn, it's self reinforcing, potentially you could have a very easy life from now on.
     
    Benni likes this.
  20. Joroincharge
    Offline

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
    Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    3,316
    Likes Received:
    1,604
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England
    Does his device lock with a padlock that snaps shut? If so get your own padlock to fit it when you get the chance, and he doesn't get a key. They you to can be sure he's not masturbating (or cheating!).
     
    Sublifter49 and Benni like this.
  21. Keep us up to date please, it sure looks like things are going your way (eventually).

    I reckon if you are there for him (can (should?) be firm) he will be there for you.

    Good luck,

    Felix
     
    Benni likes this.
  22. Any update?
     
    Benni likes this.
  23. She just started a thread called became a key holder, so I think they are on their way
     
    Benni likes this.
  24. Hi my friend!
    Check out my new thread "just became the key holder "
     
    iome343 likes this.
Verification:
reCAPTCHA verification is loading. Please refresh the page if it does not load.
Draft saved Draft deleted