Help with dominant wife... After kids...

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by mlcf, Jan 15, 2019.

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  1. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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    Waaaaaazup!!! I´m having some difficulty with my wife and I believe that would be extremely hard to take to a counselor ( or maybe impossible lol). After kids, my hife gain some extra pounds and she losing tham... Not as fast she wants to happen but is continuous and steady progress... But that extra weight has changed her a little bit. I´m still locked... She still enjoy the fact that I´m ready (any time) for sex, for massages or anything that she ask for. But... Something has changed... I believe she is not feeling the same because of the extra pounds... She does not let me see her without her clothes very often and does not let me touch her some parts... But she changed the cum cycle not telling me when the next one will be and have only one orgasm each time (for her only and they are unbelievable quickly). Well, I miss that old hardcore dominant way but I see there is something that I cannot pinpoint out.... Does anyone have some advice? Should I wait to give time some time... Or anyone has a similar life or pass from similar situation and has some ideas.. I believe I have to cheer her up without lose the FLR dominance factor. But I´m not sure how...
     
  2. Kylara
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    Kylara Former male and happy feminised sub

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    Well have you seek what had change around in her life?
    Pick up your diary and check what are the difference between now and then, maybe there is something.

    There are also eventes like menopausia that could be influencal to her mood. Maybe some weariness?

    I guess you have tried to talk to her? Or maybe she need time to think about her and her feeling. I would recommend not to push too hard on cage or sex thing and to be a lot attentionnate to her. Look like she is questionning herself.

    One of the things my wife loves is that I am ready and I do anything she does not asks for and that is done without her asking for it. You could check that way.
     
  3. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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    It seems that her focus is losing weight.... Only that 24hs.. I cannot see as that is a problem... I do not see her differently... And that thing is taking a lot of her time in her head... I guess the best is wait... Since I cannot convince her that is not a big deal....
     
  4. Charles3451
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    Charles3451 Active member

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    Praise her for the weight she has lost and let her know how wonderful she looks
     
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  5. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Active member

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    Did I read correct and she just kad a kid within the last year or so?
     
  6. asimpleman23
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    asimpleman23 Active member

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    I was going to say. along with the permanent self-image changes of motherhood, she's raising a one-year old, doesn't get the sleep she used to (and won't again for years or decades), -and- is generously managing hubby's chastity?

    that woman's a superstar. i'd give her all the time she needs to adapt, thank her frequently for all she's doing for you already, and make sure you're doing everything you can to help her. -everything- you can to help her.
     
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  7. spider203
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    spider203 Active member

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    If I were you I would relax and count your blessings that she is taking the time to keeping a lock on you, if she is trying to loose weight you might try and be more supportive and it's not always about what is in for you.
    sorry if it sounds like I am over critical.
     
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  8. asimpleman23
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    asimpleman23 Active member

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    the recipe is very simple: we have to beg for what -they- want.

    I will repeat that: we have to beg for what -they- want.
     
  9. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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    We are sharing the work... And I´m holding our company by myself so she can have extra time for some rest...

    I just think I can do more... But it seems that I just have to be patient...lol!
     
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  10. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    All of the above and migh I also venture to offer that you also offer encouragement.

    You mention she has changed the way she plays. Is she tired are you doing all you can do for her? tThat micht be just appreciated or it might also prove helpfull in regard to your 'issue'

    ...... and as a BTW is it not for her to decide IF and how you play?
     
  11. henry58
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    How about leave the poor Woman alone and stop making Her feel guilty. Being a confident Domme requires significant self esteem and duh confidence. i would suggest you back off big time and concentrate on supporting Her without expectations.
     
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  12. LockedPom
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    Complementing her appearance and not pressuring weight loss may be a start. My wife found that going to swingers clubs massively improved her self confidence, though that opens up a whole new can of worms!
     
  13. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    #13 Unlucky, Jan 17, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2019
    I see nothing in your post that you couldn't discuss with a counselor or therapist. You feel like your wife is suffering from some issues with body image and it has resulted in changes to your relationship and a loss of intimacy. That's something they'd absolutely be familiar with. They wouldn't even run screaming if you told them about kink because they've heard much much much worse than what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home.

    I don't know what time frame you're talking about or what is reasonable, so I suggest you find someone and talk to them yourself. At the very least, they'll be able to help you deal with the changes and likely help you help her, even if that never results in her talking to a professional.

    edit:
    If there is ever a question if someone should go to a professional, the answer is almost always yes. If you can find someone good which is admittedly not always easy to do, they can be very very helpful, sometimes with things completely unrelated to why you went to them in the first place. The stigma against talking to people needs to go the hell away.
     
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  14. queenofheartsS
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    I think a very good step would be for you to help her realize that even without weight loss, you think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Tell her she is perfect just the way she is. If you both only focus on her needing/ wanting to lose weight, it makes the extra weight seem more of a burden on her instead of an opportunity to better your confidence/health etc.

    Make her feel beautiful and accepted with her clothes on as she is right now, and likely she will start to smile more, glow more and engage with your lifestyle more again. Coming from a woman who struggles to lose a few pounds too, she needs to feel like that’s not all you see (that she’s gained some weight) and that her body is beautiful as is. Then as more weight is lost, it’s just making her more beautiful. It’s important not to lose sight of that.

    My boyfriend has always made me feel beautiful and comfortable, clothes on or off, even though I’m not always happy with the extra pounds I’ve gained the last year.
     
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