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Help me understand what my wife is saying

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by 405Ginger, May 8, 2017.

  1. I bought her a keyholder book, she read it.
    In it are various chapters and subjects on what to do to your chaste and what he or she should do to you.
    The chapter on cross dressing came up last night in conversation. Her saying oh I don't think I want you to "go all the way" referring to a sissy maid outfit and heels and cleaning the house. I said oh ok, that's fine in a passive way. With her following that up with I do want you to wear some panties, you would go buy them. And then quickly ended that conversation as I said ok. I've heard that most women are either fully into the idea or not at all. What is your take on this?
    Is she building me up to a much more involved dressing or do you think she is keeping it at panties?
     
    JiL and Patsey Belle like this.
  2. Maybe she wants to but not sure. Or not sure if you really want cross dress.
     
  3. How do I say I want to be feminized without scaring her off, is this something that should come later in our key holding experience?
     
  4. Maybe she is trying to see how far you are willing to go , she has already given the ok to panties my advice would be let that happen and she were it goes , but don't try to push something you want on her , take things slowly if she wants you to take it further she will let you know these things sometimes have a way of evolving on their own . If it is something you really want then maybe you could mention it again in the future , but ultimately it is up to her as her wants should be first control and submission are major parts of this lifestyle , her control your submission ,
     
  5. My Mistress likes me in panties and fem sleepwear but that where it ends.....for now
     
    manintyres likes this.
  6. I have to say, this is something that I could see really catching a woman off guard if you've been together a long time and this is the first she's hearing of it. Telling your wife you want to be dressed up as, and treated as a female seams, to me anyway, to be kind of a big thing. It betrays the reality that this is something you've clearly been thinking about for some time, and not some spontaneous outgrowth of your foray into chastity.

    Assuming chastity was you're idea in the first place, I would personally recommend holding off on letting on too much about the feminization thing. Hint here and there maybe, but I'd say definitely go slow with it. Right now she's having a whole lot thrown at her and I can see how it could be very overwhelming. Light and fun. Keep it light and fun for now. As you guys get into chastity she's bound to be exposed to a lot more of the feminization thing - its not exactly a rarity in this world, ya know? So it will come up organically, and you can let on that you would not only be fine with it, but actually have been craving it.

    But for now, getting her head around chastity is probably enough, don't you think? Adding in the sudden revelation that her husband wants to dress up as a woman, and all the (not necessarily accurate) cultural assumptions that info comes with, might just freak her the heck out.

    But I don't know you're wife of course, or how kinky or open minded she is. I'm simply thinking about this from the point of view of a generic relationship of the sorts I've been in until now.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes! Remember - light and fun!
     
  7. Based on personal experience, I totally agree with @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet . My wife of 30+ years and I had never discussed my interest in lingerie and then She caught me wearing a pair of red panties. She really lost it! She was ranting and raving for several days - Initially because She incorrectly assumed that I was gay or transcurious or had another lover or some other form of betrayal After a few days, we had a good sitdown, hand holding, face-to-face discussion in which I bared my hidden feelings, urges and desires. She seemed to accept that, but nothing happened for several more days. Then, as if to test the seriousness of my interest, She dared me to go to a lingerie shop and to get a bra fitting. That really put me on the spot and advanced things way farther than I had planned, much more quickly than I had ever envisioned. But, I was up to the task and, when I came home from Lane Bryant with 2 new, cute bras, everything changed. She began to feminize me, little by little, and that's been going on now for many years and we both are enjoying the journey.

    I suggest that you don't push it, don't surprise her and let things take their natural course. Wherever it goes, it will likely be good for both of you!
     
    manintyres likes this.
  8. I do not think most women are into that, at least for a long time. Some are as witnessed by the various CD and Sissy members here. In the last 47 years my woman at the time and I tried me wearing panties and with my wife, wearing a bra made for men on a CD website I found. They also make woman's shoes in men's sizes. Their panties are cut or a man's body but look like feminine panties. In all cases, we stopped it in 2-3 months. I was no longer feeling humiliated by wearing woman's underwear and my wife did not want me to do it anymore as she said it would change how she views me. I once had a bearded friend who was a biker and a CD. Him and his wife were into it and he only wore feminine attire during Halloween, his favorite holiday since he could leave the house in a dress or when friends, like me who are sexually open minded, visited him. He was one ugly looking guy in a dress though, as am I.

    We tried it as part of our exploration of chastity. Even started to wear makeup and sleep in negligees for awhile. Once the initial excitement wore off, we did not do it again. Plus I had a larger and more expensive selection of bras and panties than my wife does. I think she got jealous. :) Once a month or more I will put on a pair of panties when we have sex while I am locked up. I do it because it gives my wife something sensual to touch other than a cold metal cage.

    I found that the key to a great sex life is letting your partners know what you like. If that scares them off, they are not going to make you happy sexually in the long run and a fetish needs to be fed. If not fed it will eat at you forever. I seldom had vanilla sex. I always did something kinky. I was into BDSM since I was a young teen. I had a knack, due to my Machiavellian personality, to persuade girls to try what I liked. The key was taking it in baby steps. Blindfolding me led to tying up my hands too. That led to also tying my feet to the bed. A simple playful spanking led to a harder spanking and then the use of a paddle, whip or cane. Baby steps and not saying OK to everything you are told. I have been sexually submissive since I was 13. However, I am not dominated, I submit. I do not let my Mistress do whatever she wants, we talk hard limits and a safe word. We discuss what I am agreeable to and not things that I will not like. I have no psychological need to be dominated in ways that are not acceptable to me or not fun at some level.

    If you want something, talk to your wife and tell her directly. That is the only way you will get what you need or want sexually. There are millions of guys on the internet bitching about their wives not wanting to do certain things to them. Learn how to gradually get your wife into your fetishes and not scare her off in the process. I always explained why I needed certain things sexually and my loving wife would try it for me. Then I used positive reinforcement to get her to like doing it. If she sees how much I enjoy something, my wife will either indulge me or get into it too. Just saying OK is not telling her anything about your desires. Try talking to her and you will be sexually happier in the long run as I was. My wife invited her girlfriends to have sex with me and then hooked me up with her best friend which I turned into a threesome that lasted 30 years. My wife is submissive and was a virgin at 19 yet I got her to try wife swapping and soft swinging. Then she got aroused watching me with other women so she took it from there by inviting her girlfriends into our bed. In fact, one of those girls is visiting us with her husband next month so I have to be careful not to be overly friendly with his wife.
     
    User2112 likes this.
  9. In my experience women say what they mean and men try to work out how what they said fits into their own narrative. I very much doubt she is building you up for anything as it won't have occurred to her that is a thing that is either necessary or desired by either of you.
     
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  11. I was once that gf to,its very daunting when..
    1) its not your idea
    2)she can't read your mind (your imagination)
    3)she doesn't want to get it wrong
    Remember you have had this in your mind for maybe years and this maybe the first she's heard of it
    4)she will want you to go shopping alone as she may feel uncomfortable (in her mind the she shop assistant knows your buying pantys for yourself) and she feels awkward about it,infact 1they don't care and 2you wouldn't be the first or the last but that's something that she will come round to by herself
    Don't be pushy or to over enthusiastic ,its scary taking the leash of a beast you don't know
    Is she on here? Maybe she should come on and talk to other women, I wish I'd had that when I started or just contact me and we can talk on Skype,I'm not an expert but being female and and understand her insecurities x
     
    slave_m, Patsey Belle, boisub and 2 others like this.
  12. None of us can read her mind! However, she may also not know her own mind. She may be just testing the waters to see how she feels about it. Do as she says. Don't make a fuss. Don't over think.
     
    Patsey Belle likes this.
  13. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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  14. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    People vary. Personally I don't go for it at all. I'd not worry. Just do as she tells you and see where it leads.
     
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  15. When my wife was introduced to chastity and FLR's, she quickly realized that feminizing your wanna be subby hubby was often a part of the scenario. She teased me about it a bit, but she knew I was already leaning towards wearing female styled underwear. Feminizing me a bit was easy for her, and goes no further than her comfort level, although she is threatening me with slut red toe nails next time we go for pedicures. Your wife seems to have made it clear, that she wants to go slowly. She needs time to see you in those panties, and then be able to process how it makes her feel. Notice that she says " I don't think I want you to go all the way." So, this does not sound to me like a woman who has completely ruled out more feminizing stuff for you. But, she in her own way is having you move at a pace which she is comfortable and happy with for now. As the days, months, and years evolve, so will your lifestyle with her.
     
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