Help me convince my wife to keyhold and eventually cuck

What about what she wants? Doesn't that come into it?

 

You don't. That is topping from the bottom. She will KH if and only if that is what she wants to do.And suggesting she has sex with someone else when she has no desire to do so is way out of order.

 

You respect her. You make your kinks enjoyable and worthwhile to her. You man up and don't act like a spoiled 4 year old who wants something. And most importantly you let her do what she wants and set the pace. And have things become her ideas.

Too many guys don't get that if you let a woman feel safe and secure (your job to make her feel this way) she'll be open to trying things. Give her time to be comfortable and get confidence and she'll do things that will blow you away. But they push things, and ruin things.

So the short answer is you don't get her to do anything. You gently help her go a direction if she's willing, never pushing and being patient. If she decides she wants to do something, then your job is not to be the typical guy and mess it up.

 

Unlike in the internet fantasy world, cuckolding is not for everyone. In fact, I would guess it would be a very bad experience for most couples. You're probably better off leaving your desires for cuckolding in the fantasy realm.

Even keyholding can be a very intimidating thing to a woman, especially if it's not her kink.

 

To answer the first question, about a book to help her with being a keyholder, @Mistress Jules has written a book designed to help a woman understand why a man might want her to be a keyholder and to help her understand what she could get out of it. There are also many blogs written with the same emphasis. It isn't all about femdom, whips, chains and weird stuff that would freak her out. You can find details of the book in her Chastity Mansion signature.

Going in like a steam train with ideas of her being fucked by other people for your pleasure is likely to go very badly.

 

I fully agree that any kink isn't for anyone. But fully disagree that cuckolding should be left to fantasy.
In fact I think more people need to be less scared and instead be willing to try things. Live their lives and have experiences while they can.

Yes cuckolding isn't for everyone, and if you haven't addressed jealousy, if you haven't worked on great communication, and built a strong relationship then it'll be a disaster. But if you do it's amazing.

My ex and I had a great relationship except for one significant issue. One we had to agree to disagree on which ended things. But our sex life was amazing. And her having a bi lover and having sex with others wasn't it. In fact, itprobably contributed to me staying in the relationship longer than I normally would have, but that's an aside.

My point is that cuckolding is amazing and is intense, and should be treated like a loaded gun, a chainsaw or a race car. In other words you don't just do it without getting hurt. You take the steps necessary to be safe if you decide to go down that road. Most folks won't shoot a gun, use a chain saw or drive a race car. But those who do who take the necessary precautions can do so without being hurt.

Oh and there are many types of cuckolding, not just what is portrayed in porn and online fantasy. In fact, I'd say most real life is different but that's another thread.

 

Spot on!

 

x2

 

Too much too fast.
Allow her to be your Keyholder for now.

 

True but once a woman becomes comfortable being sexually free, and knowing her guy is sexually committed only to her, the dynamics are shifted. Many women won't get past the social norms to get there but those who do seem to relish their new found power.

 

Before you wish for what you want, just try to find a real life couple who are married for a long time that are into cuckolding and hot wife sex. They are as rare as hen's teeth. I lost a girlfriend when she started to see a friend of mine behind my back. All of our married friends who had some form of non monogamous marriage, got divorced because one or even both in one case, fell in love with a sex partner. As men who would jump at the chance to have guiltless sex with, we think our wives would feel the same. Based on what I was told about the husbands I cuckolded, and after hearing the phone calls after we had sex in which they told their cucks what they wanted to hear, I always felt sorry for them because their wives resented that their husbands did not love them enough to want them all to themselves. Kind of strange but I had heard that a few times. Only one wife had good things to say about her husband and yet she was having sex with other men because her husband was not enough for her.

Rule of thumb, if she says no to the idea, drop it and do not bring it up again. If she changes her mind she will tell you. The reason is twofold. The wife will think that her husband will cheat on her if she does not give in to his desire. They may also agree just to shut up their husbands. In any event, if pressured your wife may do it for the wrong reasons. My wife still regrets having sex with my best friend 45 years ago. She did it to please me and not for her pleasure. She did not have an orgasm and was left with bruises on her body. We ended up sharing a girlfriend for 30 years. FFM threesomes were our thing for a long time. As a very alpha male, I could not let another man in my bed with my wife. I did not want to be viewed as I was when I let others have sex with my ex girlfriend, who left me for one of them. They told me I was a cool guy for sharing her but behind my back they were not saying good things about me or my sexual abilities.

Some guys thought that she was now their girlfriend because she had a few orgasms with them. I would come home to find guys waiting for her outside our door. There were guys who smelled bad, guys too drunk or stoned to get an erection and guys who used her like she was like a prostitute. It is not like the fake porn videos and stories most of the time so just be careful because whenever you let another into your sex life, you put your marriage at risk. Rules and think that your marriage is strong fly out of the window when she finds someone that she is very sexually attracted to. I know because I was a cuck and a bull and I never followed any rules that a wife's cuck gave her. If I did, I felt that the cuck was using me to satisfy his fetish and treating me as an actor in his fantasies. It had to be all about me and his wife, and it always was. Women who have had an orgasm or two tend to forget the rules.

 

Kink is a road you explore together. You think you know the map, but you can only really know by walking the route slowly. It's OK for some stuff to remain fantasy.

The best way to start is with the question: "What's in it for her?" What can your kink give her that she already enjoys?

The best place to start is in the bedroom.

 

Why not persuade her to join this website, and then she can converse personally with other keyholders.

 

We have talked about her taking a lover if it pleased her. She doesn't want to but didn't close the door on it.

I am not happy or disappointed. Giving her the freedom to find the cock of her dreams was a hard limit, but surrendering that last hard limit made me feel very good.

We talk about it during sex, which is super hot, but I doubt she would feel comfortable letting a stranger fuck her. Luckily I think we are on the same page that if she did, I would be there and it would be an act of love and a shared experience where I held her or pleased her during the act.

No secrets or hiding, all honesty and respect.

Forcing this kind of relationship on a female I would think end in disaster.

 

You are married to your wife and that is a fantastic thing. It's been 32 years for us. Maybe your wife honours that marriage of the two of you becoming one and bringing someone else into your relationship can destroy that love that you have for each other. Being in Chastity is for the most part a sexual kink that some men want, it is t the same for your wife/ key holder. My wife went along with chastity because of our love for each other, since than she has developed into the Mistress she is today but cuckolding isn't something she ever wants to do. In her words " I'll break our bond of marriage "

You have a wife that's open to try locking you up, your already way ahead of many many people that want chastity. Love her and treat her like your Queen if you try and force her to do something she's uncomfortable with you may lose her. I wouldn't recommend even considering cockolding. Embrace the loving wife that you have and allow her to grow how she wants to.