Hi everyone! Hubby and I have experimented with chastity (CB-6000) over the last year but we've decided to try a more consistent and structured approach starting in 2017. We've been together for 5 years, married for 2 and welcomed our first born last year. Chastity was originally his idea and it's something that we've only occasionally explored until now. Given that it was really just used as a toy, we didn't use it consistently and I also didn't enjoy it to the full potential as it would usually be unlocked exactly when I'd start to see the most benefits in his behavior and attitude (i.e. as soon as he would want sex!). We've now agreed to take a more structured approach with it starting on Jan1st and I look forward to being a lot more assertive and confident towards it. We've read these forums in the past and look forward to being more involved in this community as we embark on this new adventure!
Welcome- I am sure it will be a great adventure! What sort of structured approach are you taking with it?
I think you put your finger on it, the man would say try this and then the partner would reluctantly say ok and before the partner got to see the benefits of male chastity the male would say he wants out for sex then any benefits of male chastity are gone. So the only view of most partners is that this is only a sex toy.
Welcome. My wife and I have been into chastity play for the past 4 years. Start off slow and with baby steps. You can just lock him up for a few days and when he is used to that, extend it by another day or two. There is only one problem, when the wife discovers the control she had over her husband, there is no going back. What we used to do is both agree on how many orgasms and teasing nights there would be each week. As time went by we modified things but it still was by mutual agreement. Chastity only works well if you both have the same goal in mind. Also do not let being a KH seem like a chore where you have to supervise him all the time. Have him give his word that locked or not, he will not masturbate so you do not have to supervise his showers and constantly check him to make sure he is still locked out. As far as rules go, you really only need one rule, the key holder makes all the rules, does not have to share them and can change them without any prior notice. This will make both of your lives simple. Chastity contracts end up sounding like a user manual and box you into what you have to do in response to an action. You lose control since the contract instructs what happens. Where you deny him for a few days or a few weeks, chastity will work best if you make it a joint effort with both of you wanting the same goal. You will feel guilt in denying him at first. That is natural if you love someone but always remember that he wants you to say no when he is begging for an orgasm. My wife's job is easy. All she has to do is say no until she feels that she wants me to orgasm. That is it. She can leave me unlocked for days and I will not masturbate. As they say, chastity does not really start until he is begging for an orgasm. My wife did not like chastity much when we started but now she will have it no other way. She wants more sex and is having the best orgasms of her life, and multiple ones at that, at the age of 64. She loves the control she has over sex for the first time in her life without having to worry about my orgasm. She used to validate her desirability by whether or not I got an erection and orgasm. She focused sex on me and not herself. Now she focuses sex only on herself and her vibrator has become her good friend. Just enjoy and take baby steps. Design chastity in a way that is fun for the both of you and you can get rid of any guilt simply by establishing a safe word that if spoken by your husband, means he is serious about his need for an orgasm. Part of the fun is trying to get my wife to give me an orgasm and begging. She just ignores me but if I say my safe word, we stop an discuss the problem She also will give me an orgasm if she thinks that lack of one is either mentally or physically distressing me. So we have safeguards built in and no reason for her to feel guilty at all. Remember that there is no chastity rule book or any prizes for who does it best. For us chastity and all other sexual fetishes will always remain as fun sex games that we both enjoy, not the way we live our lives. We drift in and out of our sexual roles when we both feel like playing and the circumstances allow it; in your case, kids. Have fun and welcome.
Like you my wife/kh and I have just started 1 month ago although I have been wearing a cage without her knowing for2 or 3 years on and off,I would wear it all day long at work and take it off before bed.I eventually plucked up the courage to talk to her about it and she said she would give it ago,she's stil a bit embarrassed by it.hows it going for you two now,looking for the positives to get the wife more positive on this subject,personally I absolutely love it,Uncaged at the moment as we're on holiday can't wait to get home so I can be locked up again.
Hi and welcome to a you both. My Wife and I have been doing this for almost a year and a half and it has really strengthened our relationship. We have also established a formal FLR (female led relationship) but there is no rule that says you have to do that, it is completely up to you. My own perspective is simply that if I am going to 'let' my Wife be in control of my orgasms then I have to see her as being in charge and actually having the right to decide when, how and where I get an orgasm. The chastity thing only became fully integrated as our lifestyle when she fully took control. It was when we stopped doing this because it was my idea and started doing it because it was what she wanted. It took several months but as soon as it happened we both realized there was no going back.
I love that you are interested in the idea of the benefits of chastity. I hope that it all works out!