Hello, it's nice to be here.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by SubBill1959, Sep 25, 2018.

  1. SubBill1959
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    SubBill1959 Member

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    I'm 59 years old and looking forward to retirement. It feels tangible since it's single-digit years until I get there.

    I'm in a solid relationship and I've lived with my girlfriend for a little over 5 years. Early in our relationship I told her that I was submissive and enjoyed bondage. She knows that I went to professional dominatrixes probably 20 years ago, but not recently. (It gets too expensive and it definitely isn't a substitute for a healthy relationship.) She also knows that I am bisexual and have had previous relationships with both men and women.

    I discovered male chastity at least 10 years ago and now own two devices - the CB6000s and a Holy Trainer. I love the Holy Trainer. I can wear it nearly everywhere and it goes unnoticed.

    I'm exploring the Mansion for stories of how others introduced the topic of chastity and female-led-relationships to their girlfriends/wives. This is the one area of my life that I haven't "come out" to her. She's very much an "equal rights/equal responsibilities" type of person. She had bad experiences with a family member in her youth and I just have a gut feeling that asking her to be dominant would not go well.

    So, we have a stable vanilla relationship and I pretend in my head that she's my mistress. I self-lock myself in chastity when she's not home and I pretend that she's ordered me to do chores around the house. She loves that I do them. But they serve two purposes - it shows her my love and it also allows me to live out my submissive lifestyle.

    I have no desire to wear women's clothing and I'm quite certain she would not want me to. But to be her submissive/slave would be a great way to live out the rest of my life.
     
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  2. Joey love
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    Joey love Long term member

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    Welcome and you should be able to get plenty of good advice here as I did. There’s a book called ladies introduction to male chastity by Jules Scott on kindle that’s a really good short read.
    Seems you have a good strong open relationship so this won’t come as a shocker to her. Good luck
     
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  3. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    Welcome to the site.
     
  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    welcome. Hope it works out for you. Take your time. Remember, she will be new to all this and will find the idea very strange at first. Good luck
     
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  5. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    She knows you're submissive. Just explain that it's you way to manifest your submission and that you're giving her control of your erection and masturbation (not to mention your bisexuality).
     
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  6. SubBill1959
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    SubBill1959 Member

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    I couldn't figure out how to talk with her and break into the topic that I desired a female led relationship, much less chastity. So I decided to try something by myself.

    For the past several weeks, I've been "pretending" that she's in charge. When she wants to do something, I go along with it without any reluctance. I simply tell myself that this is what would happen if she truly was in charge and ours was a female led relationship. I can tell you that it has been like a weight off my shoulders and a huge stress reliever. In addition, I've become more active and less lazy. I've got more done around that house that I could imagine.

    Today, I told her what I had been doing. And I told her that previously and in past relationships, I always viewed myself as an equal to my other partner. This led to frustration and anger when I thought that my feelings weren't being considered, etc. In the past several weeks, any frustration and anger that would have previously occurred simply didn't happen. I simply said that I put her in charge of our relationship in my mind.

    She said that she always felt as though I was easy to live with and did what she wanted. (I've always helped with household chores - cooking, washing dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc.) We had a good conversation. It didn't enter into the term "female led relationship" or about chastity.

    I've decided that the best way to approach this is step-by-step. Not too much at once.
     
  7. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    Since she knows about your submissive nature already, a gentle way to introduce chastity into your play is through tease and denial during your regular sexy time. Getting her comfortable with looking out for her own pleasure doesn’t have to be scary or difficult or even involve a device. That can come later once some patterns are established.
     
  8. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    PS - Welcome!
     
  9. SubBill1959
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    SubBill1959 Member

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    Thank you! Yes, slow and steady seems to be what others say. And getting her comfortable with looking out for her own pleasure is the objective.

    I am willing to wait until she processes what I've told her and see how she responds after a few days. Meanwhile, I'm continuing to let her lead, even though it's apparent what I'm doing.
     
  10. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Introduce the cage as a game. Leave the keys in a sealed envelope and the first person to give in and use the keys loses. Maybe the loser has to give the other a massage or something like that.
     
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