Hello from SoCal

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Calibob, Oct 18, 2018.

  1. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    Hello from Southern California. I want to introduce myself to the group, I am Bob.

    My wife and I embarked on a new wife led journey about two and a half years ago. We have been married for 39 years, most of which were great fun. However, after the kids were gone and we were “empty nesters” our marriage struggled. Specifically, I struggled with control issues between us. Long story short, one day over lunch I asked her to lead. I discussed with her my lifelong penchant for boundaries and rules; I told her I fell in love with her because of the strong woman she was, both mentally and physically. I pointed out my favorite pictures of us together were the ones where she is standing and I am kneeling, and showed her that these were hanging or displayed in many rooms of our house. I explained to her that I did not want any more altercations and tensions between us. I did not want to continue on with my passive aggressive behaviors that I had been the norm from me for a few years. I asked her to consider helping me overcome bad attitudes, snarky voice, and poor actions by becoming the leader in our marriage. I confessed I was a closeted submissive. Luckily, even though she didn't understand all that that meant, she agreed.

    I wrote her a letter outlining the things I wished to correct in myself and things I wished to do for her. Ultimately this became our “bible” for our wife focused marriage. It has bullet points under the headings of Love, Honor, Service and Obey that I have promised to heed. I promised to never fight back on what she has to say in correcting my attitude, voice and behavior and I begged her to speak her mind. I believe I have had good success in not objecting to her thoughts and ideas, or fighting her control. I think she has come to trust in me and my promises, and is more believing in herself that she can lead. We continue to review my progress every week, the communication is so important. I review all the promises in our “bible”, and we discuss my attitude, actions and voice, both good and bad. Some weeks the “bad” earns me punishment, not something I relish, she swings hard. The review goes both ways, as I get a chance to mention areas where she could have “tightened the leash” on me or pushed me further. I am mindful to tell her what it is I like about her leading and how I feel when she does overtly lead.

    It took a while for her to re-find her voice in our relationship. And she has slowly accepted my submission to her authority. I’m still sure that she doesn’t understand all of the power she has over me but she has begun to exercise her will more and more. She took control of my orgasms early on. Until now we have used the honor system to eliminate my masturbation habit. Also, we do practice domestic discipline. We find that when she employs discipline that it is beneficial to the both of us. For me it reinforces my submission and resets my goal to be a better submissive. for her, she tells me that disciplining me releases much of her anxiety and frustration with my actions, attitude and/or voice.

    A couple weeks ago she told me to purchase a chastity device. I was shocked, as she has said in the past that this was not something she was ever interested in using. I was locked in my new Holy Trainer 3 for the first time last Sunday. She left it on me for 8 hours. She often asked how I was doing, and, remarkably enough, I did well. She tested my resolve by taking me out shopping at several stores, and by initiating oral sex for her. There is only one “first time locked”, and I was quite pleased with the outcome. She has texted me today that she intends to lock me when she gets home from work for a longer extended period of time, so that means overnight, another I'm sure in a line of firsts!

    Thank you for establishing this interesting group. I look forward to getting to know this community better. And I am excited to read about your experiences and learn from those who have lived in this chaste lifestyle.
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Well done, and good luck to you both. I hope you flourish in your explorations.
     
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  3. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    What an incredibly honest and heart-warming introduction! There are several of us here who have similarly come to our wives deep into our marriages and confessed our submissiveness, our masturbation habits, our need for discipline, and asked her to become the leaders of our marriages. Your bible writing, and especially your weekly open review session, put you ahead of me and the latter is something I/we need to emulate.

    Chastity will really accelerate this process for you both. Once you understand and accept that she even controls your erection, your submissiveness and her acceptance of control will really grow.

    On the advice side, you're going to want to go to a steel cage soon, they're much cleaner and far more capable of long-term wear. You can start with inexpensive cages like the A273 or A226 (check aliexpress or dhgate or amazon) to find sizing and fit, and may find your yourself moving on to a custom cage after several months or a year. (Yes, I said a year; once a submissive man starts chastity under her loving authority there's usually no going back.)
     
  4. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    It’s very nice to have you join this lifestyle. As @Rectrix says What an incredible and heart-warming introduction.

    My own experiences with Chastity mirror yours in a lot of ways. Dedication and commitment to my wife and a better relationship together.
     
  5. bincorona
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    bincorona Junior Member

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    Hello Bob,

    Welcome, I am also in So Cal .. Long Beach area ..... happily married and still in the "kid stage" so things are hit and miss for us during this season of life. I did wear the HTV2 for quite a while ... if you run into any questions on fit or tweaks to make it more comfortable .... feel free to send me a message.

    brian
     
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  6. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    Thanks Brian, I appreciate that very much!
     
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  7. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    Thank you very much!
     
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