Hello all ... I just updated my profile which includes some of this. Basically, I am an older sub-oriented male who has often wondered and fantasized about what it would be like to be caged and locked up and under the control of a keyholder. If I had a "bucket list", I'm sure that this possibility is at or near the top of it. I realize the real-time chastity for me is remote and wonder how well on-line chastity works for others. Is it something I should pursue, or just keep fantasizing about? Hmmm ..
Personally I do not understand chastity without either a loved one or Mistress who you actually can see in person. Many free online Mistresses are guys. Don't ask how I know this, but it made me feel like a horny fool at one time. There seems to be a lot of guys locking themselves up but the problem with that is they are their own warden and they can unlock themselves once the urge to orgasm becomes too much to bear. There is no one there to stop them like it would be with a in person keyholder. The other difference is that many of us do this to give pleasure to a loved one or show submission to a dominant, either a loved one or in person Mistress. Once you go online you run into problems. The first one is that you probably will not find a real woman to do it since being a keyholder is a lot of work. Feedback that the few that I knew doing it for free was that the guys all wanted to be in chastity the way they wanted to. That put the online keyholder in the position to basically having the guys do what they wanted her to do and not what she wanted to. Since it was free, she needed to get something in return and never did because she was just a disembodied poster on the internet. You would be competing with many thousands of men for free keyholder services and I have not see a free one in a long time. Without someone there with you, you will miss out on the exquisite pleasure of being edged over and over again for an hour only to be told to lock back up. You would miss a naked woman watching TV with you doing her best to get your hard in your tiny cage. No giving her a massage while you are naked and struggling not to get erect. Without an in person keyholder, all you are really doing is not cumming for what reason? There is the initial excitement in locking up but once that fades you will ask yourself my do it anymore. You can put the keys in a safe deposit box, they are not cheap anymore, or some safe with a timer. However not having easy access to an emergency key is not safe and sane play as you probably know as a submissive. I have been a sexual submissive, mostly a masochist to my wife's live in girlfriend, and know the value of safe and sane play. An emergency key saved me a lot of pain over the last 4 years and enabled me to get an emergency operation without any delays as one lung collapsed and another was going downhill too. There are many scanning tests that cannot be done if you have metal on you. Plus there are catheters used and in my case, going into my urethra to take out the kidney stone that got lodged and infected the left side of my chest and was invading the right side. It can be fun for the first few times to feel the urge to orgasm and not doing so. Men have hormones urging them to orgasm for about two weeks after their last orgasm so it gets worse and worse each day. Right now I am sitting her dying to cum. I get hard from just a goodnight kiss. I got hard because my wife was wearing tight pajama bottoms that outlined her butt nicely so she changed into very short shorts. I could not imagine bearing this desire to cum for a few months without having someone to do it for. Yet, plenty of guys self lock and plenty of guys go away to never be heard from again. It will be fun to get a cheap Chinese knock off and use it a few times for the experience. Can't hurt and it is a good exercise in self control. Have the emergency key but make it hard to use like frozen in a block of ice which does not help you when you wear it outside. My wife wraps in with many layers of paper and plastic so it takes me about 5 minutes to get the key out. That is enough time to cool my jets but allows me access to the key in an emergency. Also hate to say this but you can orgasm easily in any cage. Hold a vibrator against it or insert a stick or something in to jerk off with and the cage is useless other than to please someone else, show a transfer of control or submission. After a few weeks I can even move my cage back and forth for a few seconds and be on the verge of an orgasm. Hope this helps. I have been spoiled since I lived with a dominant woman since I was 19 so most of my experience was with submitting to someone I loved. I had a brief period of a few months between leaving my last Mistress and devirginizing my wife to be where I got me an online Mistress who had me do all sorts of things, some of which I told her I did but did not. Then I found out that she was a he and felt stupid. Never again. Buy a cheap device on ebay and give it a try. Make sure that you measure yourself for the correct ring size and cage length.
I agree with Vinny. Can you find a woman to have a sexual relationship with? That would be the best thing to do. Figure out how you can meet women in real life. I realize this is not easy to do.
I agree with Vinny and Chas4us2 it's much better with a women physical with you than in possibly another country. If you treat women nice no matter where you are your chances should improve.
Welcome to the Mansion proper, glad to see you have taken the plunge and posted after being a member here for so long. If you have never experienced chastity before then I am sure you could have a lot of fun starting off. For someone like @Vinny who has had many years of expansive BDSM and kink experience it probably does seem strange someone wishing to start off by themselves. However it seems very sensible to me to start slowly and make sure a device fits comfortably and can be worn for some time before looking for a Keyholder. It is not possible to buy a device off the shelf and start immediately wearing it for weeks at a time. My advice would be - if you want to try chastity, go ahead and get a device, take some time to adjust to wearing it and whilst you are doing that you can look for someone to be your Keyholder. Whether in real life or online, it's always best to get to know someone and find out if they are genuinely interested before talking about giving them your keys. Good luck and I do hope you decide to have some fun x
Good words from Jules there. It takes time to break yourself in to wearing a device - so why not do that before the time comes that someone is willing to control the keys? Pointless to wait till then and then need upto 3 weeks of regular unlocking to check for abrasions etc.