Hello all, here's my story

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Sissyfrills, Mar 24, 2010.

  1. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Hello everyone,

    My Mistress & myself have been lurkers on here for several months now, we have gained lots of useful information on living a sub/dom lifestyle. We wanted to be certain that the posters on here were genuine sub/doms who we could relate to & in the main we have, so credit to this site & a big thank you to you all.

    I'm a 40+ year old UK male, i have a very manly job & enjoy various interests including, football, rugby, drinking with mates & gambling. I have 2 lovely children with my partner & enjoy being a father to them, as i work away from home during the week, time is limited to weekends with the family & usually i will try my hardest to make the weekends interesting & fun filled as possible in order to keep a strong bond within the family.

    My partner is Mistress Locksmith, That is her username on here & i imagine she will begin posting shortly. Mistress Locksmith is 3 years my junior & we have been together for just over 15 years. We have led a very passionate but often stormy relationship, sex has always been very interesting & satisfying but our disagreements have occasionally led to angry confrontations, that have ended up with us both feeling quite bitter towards each other for several weeks. It all came to a head towards the end of last year, when with much regret we decided to split.

    During this split, we were forced to carry on living under the same roof due to financial matters but the pressures of the relationship were completely removed, we found ourselves enjoying each others company as friends like we used to in the early days of our relationship. We found it a lot easier to communicate with one another & our sexual desire for each other was rekindled, ironically on valentines day of this year. So negotiations began on how we could save our relationship, while keeping the pressures of the modern day relationship firmly in the background.

    Obviously all that was going wrong was not my fault entirely, but i was often arrogant, abusive & angry towards her & it wasn't long before we both realised what was going wrong in our relationship & vowed to put that right. Other issues we had with one another were also discussed at some length, until we both understood one another's feelings.

    With our relationship now on a solid base again it was time to discuss where & how it should progress, over the passed 2 years we have enjoyed many sessions using the sissy maid fantasy, being feminised, disciplined & kept in chastity satisfied my needs to be sexually submissive to a dominant female, these feelings i have had from at least my early teens & have grown much stronger the older i've become. My Mistress has enjoyed these sessions as well, she was getting love & respect from me, as well as enjoying the power trip of dominating my rather to big ego. Unfortunately we would fail in keeping this kind of lifestyle on a permanent basis due to suffering the same problems which judging by the posts i've read, many of you have encountered, coupled with our not so solid as we thought relationship.

    Now though with our relationship on a sound footing & the pressures off, i decided to be brutally frank in what i longed for as a sexually submissive male, being kept in chastity, feminised & disciplined was only part of my dream. Serving a Mistress who would also humiliate me, force me to commit bi-sexual acts for her own amusement & cuckold me while keeping strict control over my orgasms would complete this dream. The response i received from Mistress Locksmith was certainly not one of shock, she had of course done her homework in the past & was all to aware that these subjects were part of the sissy fantasy, but was unaware that i would enjoy having these things forced upon me as a submissive.
    During these open & frank discussions, Mistress Locksmith revealed that her earliest memory of domination came when she was just 9 years old when she enjoyed bullying a submissive boy in the playground, although not a natural dominant her feelings by coincidence have grown towards being dominant, as mine have towards being submissive. Mistress Locksmith also revealed that one of her biggest fantasies was to enjoy the freedom of having a lover or lovers while being in a relationship. It seemed only natural that we try again at living a sub/dom lifestyle.

    In our past attempts at living a sub/dom lifestyle, i believe i have made the same errors as a lot of submissives on here, in that i have tried to provoke a dominant response from my Mistress by breaking a rule or misbehaving, for instance i would try to get Mistress to spank me, she would, but once i could take no more i would plead for mercy & the spanking would end. After a few minutes of recovery i would want my Mistress to repeat the spanking & break another rule or misbehave again. This only made Mistress believe that the spankings were not having any effect on my behaviour towards her. The same was happening with chastity, i would plead to be let out, hoping Mistress would stand firm & say no, but Mistress would have sympathy for me & allow me release, this would add to my frustrations. When it came to my feminisation she would ask me to put on my maids outfit, but i really wanted to be forced to wear it, so i would act as if i wasn't all to bothered about getting dressed, again this had a negative effect, as Mistress thought that i had gone off the idea of this lifestyle.

    Since our very open minded discussions, we have understood exactly what each other expects & wants from this type of lifestyle, we have set times in chastity, no safe words or sentences when i receive discipline, i understand now that Mistress enjoys feminising & humiliating me, which has made me feel a lot happier that we are in this together, to help each other satisfy our needs & fantasies. Mistress has an ex boyfriend who she still sees as a friend, he is eager to still have sex with my Mistress, although he is unaware of our sub/dom lifestyle, he just believes we have an open relationship regarding sex with other partners occasionally.

    We are now sure that a sub/dom lifestyle is what we both want, i know that i can approach Mistress to discuss anything that i feel would enchance the lifestyle or anything that i'm concerned with. Mistress knows she can approach myself to discuss the same issues without my arrogance or anger rearing it's ugly head. For now i believe Mistress truly understands my needs as a submissive & summed it up beatifully by saying, & i quote... "This is the way you want to be loved, so this is the way i shall love you"

    I'm really quite hopeful that we have things worked out, we both feel we have nothing to lose by trying & there will be no hard feelings if certain parts of our fantasies remain that way, but we also have the open mindedness to believe anything is possible.
    If you are still with me, thank you very much for your time & i hope to become a little more aquainted with you all in the near future.
    Sissyfrills x
     
  2. Red
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    Red Junior Member

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    Welcome!

    That's quite a story, it's good to hear of a couple sorting out their differences rather than just giving up for good. I'm not really an expert in the sub/dom lifestyle (just dipping my toes in the water at the moment, so to speak), but it sounds like you've got it worked out well.

    Communication is key!
     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    What a wonderful first post and how lovely to have another couple on the site. As you say, we are very lucky to have both sides of many couples here, which leads us to have very honest postings - otherwise the other half of the couple steps in and puts things right!

    It is a hell of a journey, but I do believe D/s is great for relationships that have a good foundation of trust, no matter how rocky. It does re-focus you, and the communication improves tenfold, it HAS to.

    I look forward to seeing Ms Locksmith posting and getting to know her better.

    It was lovely to bump into you in the chatroom last night too.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Communication is key!

    Thank you Red for the welcome, communication as well as honesty has given us fresh hope of living a D/s lifestyle to its fullest potential, i sincerley hope your experimentations in the D/s lifestyle turn out to your liking.
     
  5. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Thank you Mistress Watchful for the ease in which we have been welcomed by you since our arrival.

    I do not feel that simply leading a D/s lifestyle would have saved our relationship, there was to many angry confrontations in our vanilla life, even when we tried living the D/s in the past we would continue arguing, but i do believe that the communication & honesty has improved tenfold & it has certainly re-focused us both.

    I know Mistress is eager to post, unfortunately she has been having problems, getting messages saying she does not have permission to post & that her account may have been disabled. Any ideas on why this my be happening would be welcomed, otherwise i will be obliged to correct it when i return home, the weekend.

    Likewise, i know Mistress was excited by the fact that we have the opportunity to talk with likeminded D/s.

    Thank you again for the welcome.
     
  6. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    I haven't got the hang of the quoting function yet, so apologies if my replies seem confusing.
     
  7. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Hi Sissyfrills, welcome to the forum

    I am the Domme half of a couple posting on here and both I and my hub have found it a great medium to get feedback, ask questions and generally post musings about D/s life in general. I wish you luck on your journey. You have hit the nail on the head when you say that simply adopting a D/s lifestyle isnt enough for a committed couple - you also have to communicate at all times and that's without a shadow of a doubt the most challenging part. I'll look forward to hearing your other (better :-D) half's view of the world too.
     
  8. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    "I'll look forward to hearing your other (better :-D) half's view of the world too"

    Thank you kindly for the welcome, i think i might have to beg my Mistress to keep communication on here strictly to subs only for fear of negative reactions to my already aching sissy cock & burning sissy bottom, from all the Dommes sound advice! :)
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I've fixed your quotes for you.

    It sounds like your Mistress may have missed her activation email, I will bump this for pet, he will be able to help her.
     
  10. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    Hello there Sissyfrills, i have activated your Mistresses account for her now. So she should be able to log in and use the site as normal.
     
  11. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Thank you both for your help, although it was me who was supposed to activate it for Mistress & i forgot!

    Oh dear, trouble brewing :spankwhip:
     
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