Having trouble

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Goddess M, Feb 7, 2010.

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  1. Goddess M
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    Goddess M Junior Member

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    My pet and I have been playing for sometime with chastity.
    I admit that I am the one who has puts the halt to it on more than one occasion.
    I've had a hard time not letting my vanilla life get in the way.
    We both work, have kids and all that comes with being a married couple. I have a hard time turning the wife off and turn the goddess on.
    Don't get me wrong, I love being in control of my pet but sometimes I just don't feel like being his goddess, I just want to be his wife.
    Right now, I'm not in the mood and this is driving him nuts.
    So he's not locked up at the moment.
    I'm wondering if I should leave him locked up even if I'm not in the mood.
    What do you ladies think?
    Leave him locked up during me off days/weeks?
     
  2. Ms.Linda
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    Ms.Linda No longer a member

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    Goddess M- You are dealing with an issue that effects a good number of Us. It is very difficult at times for the wife and mother and the Domme to coexist. But, let Me ask You this, why not leave him locked up even when You aren't feeling in the mood? It takes no more energy from You and might placate him just a bit. It also allows You to regain that control at any time. Just My opinion....Hope it helps.

    Ms.Linda
     
  3. Goddess M
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    Goddess M Junior Member

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    I guess I've had him unlocked for some reason or another. Then I just get out of the mood and the play drops off.
    You are right it would keep him happy and I can pick it up when I'm ready.
    The funny thing was that as I was writing the post above I had that "a ha" moment.
    Sometimes it takes writing it out to click.
    Thanks.
     
  4. mikecb
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    mikecb Active member

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    I know you were asking the other Mistresses out there, but as a sub I'll agree with Ms Linda. Provided the "off" times aren't 6 month stretches, I think you should just keep him locked up. That should keep his submissive focus, even if you're more in "mom mode". Sure, he wants you to be "Domme", but sometimes he just has to suck it up and be the "sub" without your effort.

    That's my two cents!
    mikecb
     
  5. Slave john
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    Slave john Junior Member

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    He is lucky to have you, and as Miss Linda said why not keep him locked,he might start giving you more attention that in turn could turn the Domm in you back on a little quicker

    Best slave john
     
  6. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Goddess M, this is something we all (well, the Mistresses who live in the real world with all the real world crap that comes with it!) go through I'm sure.

    Personally I find I'm more in the mood when he IS locked up. Now I get restless when he's unlocked and just don't feel like sex or play, or even being my bossy little self.

    The biggest thing to learn is to not feel guilty about not playing with him every day. I can't remember your story, but he probably asked to be locked up, so he can't complain!

    Also think outside the box. Play doesn't have to be overtly sexual for you to drive him mad. If I've had a bad day and I'm in the bath and pet is chatting, I'll stick a foot out from under the bubbles and say "rub". One word, no huge effort, pet starts bulging because I've shown I'm in control and he loves my feet - Win/Win.

    The same with massages. Remember when you were too tired to have sex but really wanted a massage, but massages always end up with him horny and wanting sex, and you felt bad because you weren't really in the mood for the whole thing (ok, maybe that's just me!) but NOW get that massage and fall asleep! He's left with a bulging locked cock and you're all relaxed and happy.

    It does take time to learn to fit it all in, but it can be done.

    I'm going to send you something in your PM box... keep an eye out!
     
  7. servileslave
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    servileslave Junior Member

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    Goddess M.

    If i may respectfully suggest : keeping him locked all the time, bar when you want to take him out for whatever reason, may just effect how you feel about being The Goddess? It does sound as if 'turning the Goddess on' can seem almost like a chore?

    But if he was permanent it would not only effect how he was i.e. he might be more attentive and thoughtful as well as fulfilled, so long as he isn't whiney and demanding, but might help what seems like a conflict between 'wife' and 'Goddess'; whereas the ideal if it can be reached is surely his wife IS his Goddess? If he is more attentive etc to you, you might not feel there was such a breach between Wife/Goddess?

    Isn't the whole point to make life easier and happier for the female and thereby fulfilling the male because he pleases and devotes himself to her? So maybe its a question about domination rather than just chastity?

    Just a thought.
     
  8. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    Goddess M., :anim_37:

    Mistress R. had the same feelings about not wanting to play on my fantasies, so She got a safety Deposit box down at a bank to keep the Key in. I don't know which one, and even after my sprained ankle incident i still don't know. What She does when She wants to release Her lock She goes down and picks up the key. i only know that it's on Her way to work. So if She ain't in the mood, She don't have to do anything. . Her rules are, :rules:if i talk about being unlocked it adds to the time. It makes me more attentive to, "Her needs," the longer i am locked up.
    It just takes one word from Her and She gets a rub, massage, drink, or whatever else She wants. Win/Win for Her.
     
  9. tj246
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    tj246 Senior Member

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    my wife has me lock up 24/7 for months at time untill she wants me
     
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