Hard Line

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BR_Saiph, Oct 14, 2019.

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  1. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    In the midst of a conversation where i (deservedly) pissed off my wife she told me to shut up.

    My daughter was there.

    Not cool. No matter where I am in my place to her, I cannot suffer the embarrassment real or imagined of a lack of respect between us.
    Called her on it and we are good now.

    No matter the intensity of the lifestyle we choose to live, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our significant other to keep things real.
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    all relationships have their boundaries and it's as well for both partners to be aware of them in advance.
     
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  3. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    FLR doesn't mean no respect! Mrs Chaste might be in charge and it might be "all about her", but I'm still her husband with my own character and opinions. Love and respect go together! Mind you at times we do "piss each other off". The best bit then is the making up afterwards! Of course by "making up" I mean she gets to have an orgasm whilst I stay locked and frustrated! Well it is all about her isn't it!
     
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  4. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    There is no way (in chastity) I can call out my Wife. Even If I think she is wrong. I have to keep my mouth firmly shut, nod in agreement and then apologise profusely. After that, I'm down to pleading with her not to be angry with me
     
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  5. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    If I may...
    You may be surprised at the positive spin this will provide to your dynamic. It's complicated being in an FLR and chastity and yet deadly simple.
    Embracing the complexity of such an intense dynamic is all part of the deal.
    The simple is in the submission.
    The complexity is in the submission and the acceptance of it.
    At the end of the day you are partners, a team, and she will want as much from it as you do. Helping each other get there is ok and not a lack submission. If it makes you feel better, perhaps suggest she punish you for her mistakes :)
     
  6. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    My Wife probably wouldn't do it if she thought I was going to enjoy it. That's her way of punishing me: she likes denial too much. No is her favourite word.
     
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  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Chastity, FLR, bdsm, for some reason people somehow get the idea that means that their partner can treat the other with a lack of respect. That could not be farther from the truth. Living this way, committing to someone, and having someone commit to you requires a huge amount of respect and trust.

    Being the female in a FLR doesn’t give her the right to be an asshole, just like you can’t be irresponsible when engaging in bdsm. You can’t go past limits, put them in danger, or take too much advantage of their vulnerability.

    This is a sign of some major issues, and I wouldn’t engage in any more until you both worked out the issues of respect, and why she felt that it was acceptable to behave that way.
     
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  8. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    Being in a FLR should not give the female carte blanche to treat her partner like total crap , like any other relationship there has to be respect and boundaries for both sides, these need to be agreed upon and kept to, without which the relationship will at best become very one sided and unhappy and at worst ultimately fail ,
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    I think this is where the flr differs from a bdsm relationship, for me my madam is in control 24/7 no exeptetions and will often tell me to shut up or be quiet.
     
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  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    im told to shut up a lot but I spect thats cos I chatter a lot and sometimes Mistress gets fed up of it special when she is reading something.
     
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  11. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Love Honour and Respect.

    No matter what the relationship, as others see you in public they may think that she’s abusing you or miss treating you but what’s important is Your Relationship Not what others think.
     
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  12. boo
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    boo Active member

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    Bill's friends often feel too much
     
  13. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    My mistress and I also live a FLR as well with some lighter bdsm included. She didn’t know she was a domme until I asked her to be my domme and then she found out how much she really loves it. I happily obey her telling me to shut or be quiet. She’s not well practiced in this but she enjoys degrading me to a degree and I am equally accepting of being degraded. That is our personal relationship and we’re finding it works very well for her and my desires in this lifestyle. However as @BR_Saiph mentioned, his daughter was present. Mistress Wonder Woman and I have a son who is almost 6 years old. There is no way out of respect for each other as well as out of respect for our son’s upbringing would we ever insult each other or belittle each other in front of him. That is damaging to a child at any age. My father is a good guy but has faults just like the rest of us and can be a bit of a chauvinist. I remember times growing up where he’d had a bad day at work and he’d snap at my sisters and I or my mother. I hated when he’d snap at her in front of me, it made me feel probably as shitty as she felt. He didn’t mean it but he’d lose his temper about something and react poorly. There are only a couple of incidents I really remember from like 25-30 years ago but they are memories that stuck with me. There was always an apology and they made up but I still remember it.
    Now I think about the kinds of relationships we live with our partners where obedience and not talking back is a staple in an FLR. This is where we have to be mature enough to know it’s important to stand up for ourselves and “call out” an unnecessary misdeed not for ourselves but for the people we are responsible for and who look to us for what’s right and wrong in the world. Let’s face it, if @BR_Saiph was alone with his mistress and she told him to shut up there would’ve probably been a very different reaction from him versus the given situation.
     
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  14. Dogtanian69
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    Dogtanian69 Long term member

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    My two pence worth, it’s never ok to argue in front of your kids....
     
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  15. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    So true , and should always be a golden rule ,
     
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  16. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Well said, and yes if we had been alone, I would have likely enjoyed it
     
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  17. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    We prefer the Kenny Chesney "the Good stuff" method.
    All people argue and even get hot and fight ( verbally). Kids aren't stupid and not doing it in front of them doesn't fool anyone.
    So as long as it's not regarding "sensitive" topics, they have watched and learned how we fight, do it respectfully, even if we get so hot we raise our voices, then make up at some point, regardless of who was wrong.
    It's healthy and it's real.
    They see lots of negative ways to argue with their friends and even other parents.
    As much as they groan when we hug and kiss and say sorry no I'm sorry, they can see that at least for us and 30 years still holding hands when we walk that it's working for us.
    So we hope that they can learn it's ok to get hot, to fight, to cry, to be right and to be wrong, and to forgive and always,always, always, talk things thru and not let them fester and compound over time. Little cuts/slow death...
    I'm not telling anyone how to run their house, I'm only saying how we roll in ours.
    ( But hey, behind closed doors, even when I'm right,... I'm wrong )
     
  18. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Agree 100% with this comment. My wife is free to say to me whatever she wants including far worse than shut-up. However there is no way I would accept that in front of the kids. Of course there is no way she would say it in front of the kids either. We did develop a few simple hand gestures. A single raised finger from her silences me. She doesn't use that around the kids, but she has used it on occasion at parties.
     
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  19. Slave to Wife
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    Slave to Wife Nobody Important

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    I get where you are coming from, but what if you pushed your submission deeper and granted her more power, including ordering you to shut up in front of others, even when she is disrespectful-ish? Put her on the pedestal she deserves.
     
  20. Slave to Wife
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    Slave to Wife Nobody Important

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    Our kids know Mama is in charge of Daddy. We have great kids. Our dynamic is casual enough that her telling me to, say, shut up or clean a bathroom or even sit on the floor, doesn't set off issues. No one bats an eye. Isn't it more honest that way?
     
  21. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Long term member

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    Since you asked I'll provide my answer in general terms not specifically to your relationship or your kids. In my opinion honesty is not the primary responsibility of adults raising children. In fact I'd argue it's more important to be dishonest when need be. Kids need to be sheltered, nurtured and exposed gradually to reality.

    Abuse, both physical and verbal, can cause lasting damage to children and negatively affect how they treat others when they are older. Regardless if they are targets of the abuse or simply witnesses to it.

    I have no problem that my children see me showing my loving respect for my wife. They both know I make her breakfast in bed at least one day every weekend. When they ask me why I do it I tell them that I love Mommy very much and like to do nice things for her.

    In the OP's example the wife in my opinion was not fulfilling her responsibility as a mom. Just to be really clear I am not saying she's a bad mom. She just had a bad moment and we all have those as parents. Whether it was appropriate to say to her husband or not, it was inappropriate to say in front of her kids.
     
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  22. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    Well voiced , and I totally agree , kids are all too soon exposed to the reality of this world without us as parents adding to it ,
    parents should try and set a good example and provide a place in which our kids
    feel safe and loved , and can rely on mom and dads support as a team ,
    exposing them to any form of disrespect or arguing on our part sends all the wrong messages ,
    in later life they will no doubt find and follow their own path , but will hopefully take with them and have to draw from what we showed them in their early life ,
    I am in no way trying to force my opinion on anyone but after reading some of the posts here these are my thoughts ,
     
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  23. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Guess I'm not as submissive as others can be. We're good with where we are, but I'm happy that so many here have enjoyed taking things further in their dynamic.
     
  24. Slave to Wife
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    Slave to Wife Nobody Important

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    I know how you feel. I was unhappy with some things my mistress said last night that seemed jerk mean, not playfully mean, and we all have buttons. It all depends on context and approach, I suppose. I might not like being shushed in an asshole way versus where I know she is purposely topping me.
     
  25. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    You nailed it
     
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