Had the talk

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Fellow traveler, Dec 10, 2020.

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  1. Fellow traveler
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    Fellow traveler Active member

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    #1 Fellow traveler, Dec 10, 2020
    So we finally had the talk, were doing the passive key holder thing for now.
    I ordered a holy trainer.
     
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  2. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    #2 Metalman, Dec 10, 2020
    Welcome to the club!!
     
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  3. madams-sissysub
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    #3 madams-sissysub, Dec 10, 2020
    Congratulations on starting your journey!
     
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  4. MissyB
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    #4 MissyB, Dec 10, 2020
    Good luck on your start, hope you enjoy it, and continue to communicate with her.
     
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  5. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    #5 LukeVallentine, Dec 10, 2020
    Good for you!
     
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  6. King Hippo
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    #6 King Hippo, Dec 10, 2020
    Communication and honesty things that help ANY type of relationship! Nice job!
     
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  7. Fellow traveler
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    #7 Fellow traveler, Dec 11, 2020
    It actually went way better than I thought. ( Over thinking can get you). Now I just need to find a device that works. With my job I'm sitting 12 hours a day.
     
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  8. Perth Sub
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    #8 Perth Sub, Dec 11, 2020
    My talk is coming up. Any tips? What went well, any surprising questions, or did the whole thing surprise you on the upside?
     
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  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #9 LesterBallard, Dec 11, 2020
    Good luck
     
  10. Fellow traveler
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    #10 Fellow traveler, Dec 12, 2020
    I was just honest about my desires. Not judging but I'm not into femdom/feminization/belittling... To each their own.
    I told her it was about me, something I was into. Absolutely nothing would change unless she wanted it to.
     
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  11. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    #11 borbulls1961, Dec 12, 2020
    I told my wife Madame Vanilla that I couldnt control my masturbation habit and needed her help.
    She said in that case she had no choice.
    She strongly dislikes the device...but has an abhorrence of my masturbation.
    Its not a game.
     
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  12. Guest 2684
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    #12 Guest 2684, Dec 12, 2020
    Congratulations the first step is the hardest good luck
     
  13. Fellow traveler
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    #13 Fellow traveler, Dec 13, 2020
    Just to keep up with the whole process. Tonight we talked about what "it was".
    I told her in a nut shell " I want to be locked up and controlled" , all you actually have to do is say " ok it hurts, do two more days and I'll unlock you". So far she is cool with the process.
     
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  14. MouseTee
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    #14 MouseTee, Dec 14, 2020
    @Fellow traveler: this stage of the process is so familair to most of us here. You did a great job and let your wife find her own position in this process.

    Good luck and have a great time :).
     
  15. MadameJs_boo
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    #15 MadameJs_boo, Dec 14, 2020
    Congratulations, and welcome to the club.

    Like any new activity, remember to take your time getting used to it. Enjoy the journey and its ups and downs (it's worth it!).
     
  16. Jblocked
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    Jblocked Long term member

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    #16 Jblocked, Dec 14, 2020
    Welcome and Hello
     
  17. Droog
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    #17 Droog, Dec 14, 2020
    Good for you. The HolyTrainer is a good device. Based on my experience (about 18 years), I would recommend sticking with that same device for at least a year. Don't start shopping around for "better fits" in the meantime. It's a slippery slope, not sure there is a "perfect" device. Also, your body adjusts over time...

    Good luck, and welcome!

    -droog
     
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  18. Fellow traveler
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    #18 Fellow traveler, Dec 16, 2020
    Bought a cheap knock of to get the sizing right for the most part. Just ordered one with a small tube from the actual company.
    I seem to be somewhere between the 50 mm and 45mm ring, hopefully in the future I can figure out how to measure for a custom device. ( I've read all the directions, just don't trust myself)
     
  19. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    #19 bondinchas, Dec 16, 2020
    Your body also adjusts. Just like if you habitually wear a ring on your finger, even a perfectly fitted cage will fit for a while and then grow to feel loose.

    You'll also find that your genitals change size and shape continuously, more than you ever realised. Hot or cold weather, sexual mood, emotional mood, humidity or dryness of skin, how clean your device is, whether you are more or less active that day, all can have an effect on the fit and comfort.

    So don't think "what's my exact size?", but more "what's my normal size range?".
     
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  20. R2002
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    R2002 Long term member

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    #20 R2002, Dec 16, 2020
    Good luck to you both
     
  21. Fellow traveler
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    #21 Fellow traveler, Dec 20, 2020
    Took a big gamble, I travel for work. I left the two keys with her when I left. Week in no problems.
     
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  22. Fellow traveler
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    Fellow traveler Active member

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    #22 Fellow traveler, Jan 16, 2021
    She asked me to stop. It's the most passive "fetish" in the world. All I want is to be locked until she wants intimacy?
    Just a rant I'm sorry.
     
  23. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    #23 StubHub, Jan 16, 2021
    Good luck
     
  24. Fellow traveler
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    #24 Fellow traveler, Jan 17, 2021
    We talked some more, she's just worried I'll hurt myself. We're going to continue.
     
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  25. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    #25 Guest 2684, Jan 17, 2021
    It takes time to get every thing set and for her to find your grove.
     
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