Had the talk

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Fellow traveler, Dec 10, 2020.

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  1. Fellow traveler
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    Fellow traveler Active member

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    So we finally had the talk, were doing the passive key holder thing for now.
    I ordered a holy trainer.
     
  2. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    Welcome to the club!!
     
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  3. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations on starting your journey!
     
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  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Good luck on your start, hope you enjoy it, and continue to communicate with her.
     
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  5. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    Good for you!
     
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  6. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Communication and honesty things that help ANY type of relationship! Nice job!
     
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  7. Fellow traveler
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    It actually went way better than I thought. ( Over thinking can get you). Now I just need to find a device that works. With my job I'm sitting 12 hours a day.
     
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  8. Perth Sub
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    Perth Sub New member

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    My talk is coming up. Any tips? What went well, any surprising questions, or did the whole thing surprise you on the upside?
     
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  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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  10. Fellow traveler
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    I was just honest about my desires. Not judging but I'm not into femdom/feminization/belittling... To each their own.
    I told her it was about me, something I was into. Absolutely nothing would change unless she wanted it to.
     
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  11. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I told my wife Madame Vanilla that I couldnt control my masturbation habit and needed her help.
    She said in that case she had no choice.
    She strongly dislikes the device...but has an abhorrence of my masturbation.
    Its not a game.
     
  12. Guest 2684
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    Congratulations the first step is the hardest good luck
     
  13. Fellow traveler
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    Just to keep up with the whole process. Tonight we talked about what "it was".
    I told her in a nut shell " I want to be locked up and controlled" , all you actually have to do is say " ok it hurts, do two more days and I'll unlock you". So far she is cool with the process.
     
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  14. MouseTee
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    @Fellow traveler: this stage of the process is so familair to most of us here. You did a great job and let your wife find her own position in this process.

    Good luck and have a great time :).
     
  15. MadameJs_boo
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    Congratulations, and welcome to the club.

    Like any new activity, remember to take your time getting used to it. Enjoy the journey and its ups and downs (it's worth it!).
     
  16. Jblocked
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    Jblocked Long term member

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    Welcome and Hello
     
  17. Droog
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    Droog Long term member

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    Good for you. The HolyTrainer is a good device. Based on my experience (about 18 years), I would recommend sticking with that same device for at least a year. Don't start shopping around for "better fits" in the meantime. It's a slippery slope, not sure there is a "perfect" device. Also, your body adjusts over time...

    Good luck, and welcome!

    -droog
     
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  18. Fellow traveler
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    Bought a cheap knock of to get the sizing right for the most part. Just ordered one with a small tube from the actual company.
    I seem to be somewhere between the 50 mm and 45mm ring, hopefully in the future I can figure out how to measure for a custom device. ( I've read all the directions, just don't trust myself)
     
  19. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Your body also adjusts. Just like if you habitually wear a ring on your finger, even a perfectly fitted cage will fit for a while and then grow to feel loose.

    You'll also find that your genitals change size and shape continuously, more than you ever realised. Hot or cold weather, sexual mood, emotional mood, humidity or dryness of skin, how clean your device is, whether you are more or less active that day, all can have an effect on the fit and comfort.

    So don't think "what's my exact size?", but more "what's my normal size range?".
     
  20. R2002
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    R2002 Long term member

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    Good luck to you both
     
  21. Fellow traveler
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    Took a big gamble, I travel for work. I left the two keys with her when I left. Week in no problems.
     
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  22. Fellow traveler
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    She asked me to stop. It's the most passive "fetish" in the world. All I want is to be locked until she wants intimacy?
    Just a rant I'm sorry.
     
  23. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    Good luck
     
  24. Fellow traveler
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    We talked some more, she's just worried I'll hurt myself. We're going to continue.
     
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  25. Guest 2684
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    It takes time to get every thing set and for her to find your grove.
     
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