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Gotta start somewhere. Newbie.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Kfergvegas, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. For the last 20 years I've struggled with the inability to orgasm from anything but masturbation. I've been married about 15 of those years and my patient wife has been a good sport about it. For the duration of our marriage, after intercourse we lie in bed and I masturbate beside her until completion. We've been talking about having a baby and she doesn't want to masturbate until I am just about done and then hop on top of her- nor does she want to do the turkey baster method. So last night, she started showing me chastity cage links on amazon and a blog about how chastity cages can help restore sensation in the penis. I masturbate about 4-5 times a week and look at porn every time. Very little self control when it comes to masturbation.

    We looked at a site that talked about cock locks and locking cocks to regain sensation & stop frequent masturbation. We ordered a knockoff of the ht v2 on amazon and it got here last Friday. She put it on Friday night and told me that I have a week. During that week, I had a roller coaster of emotions. By about day 3 she had to lay down the rule that we werent going to talk about it unless SHE initiated the conversation. If I continued talking about it nonstop, she would add days to my lockup. That was about the time that I realized how much power she actually has in this situation. Kinda hit me like a ton of bricks. For the next few days, she described my attitude and personality as depressed, sad and withdrawn. She said that during the week I gave her a million massages and was more attentive to her conversations than her best girlfriends. My attitude continued to get more depressed through the week.

    So I made the goal of 7 days and as promised, we had sex last night. I wasn't able to cum but I did feel more sensation so I may be on track to some results over time. She said that I could remain out of the cage for 24 hours so we can talk about the experience and see where to go from here. Today we talked about it and she explained my depression and extreme submissive role that developed over the week. I explained some of my feelings and the amount of power that I felt she had over me. She said that the sex we had yesterday felt more like pity sex than anything because of my pathetic attitude.

    My 24 hours was up a few hours ago and the lock went back on. She said that poor attitude and depression this week will be met with adding days to my release calendar. I am hoping to be more in tune with my emotions this week and avoid longer term lockup. I've read some reddit threads of long term lockup and this week was hard enough, I am not sure how you guys are able to do it for weeks or months- even years. In any case, I am using it as a tool to regain some feeling while stopping self love and porn addiction. I really enjoyed the week and even taking the submissive role in the relationship although I might find myself causing relationship issues if I don't figure out a way to keep my head a bit higher in coming lockup sessions. She stated that 7 days is about all she can do it a time because she doesn't want to deprive herself of sex just because of my problem. Makes sense.

    Oh well. I'm rambling on. Just wanted to introduce myself.
     
    spider203 likes this.
  2. She shouldn't "deprive herself of sex just because of my problem." If she wants sex she should unlock you, have sex, and if you don't cum in her then she should lock you back up without letting you masturbate. After all the "Penis Prison" (as my wife likes to call it) in your case is to prevent masturbation. I suspect if she takes control and has sex whenever she wants and doesn't allow you to masturbate you will eventually cum inside her.

    We stuck our foot in these waters because when I hit my middle 50's I wasn't able to get an erection as often as my wife wanted me to. We didn't need a device because after I had an orgasm I would have trouble getting erect the next day. Long story short: the "tease and denial" concept worked wonders for us. She can always get me hard it just takes a while the day after an orgasm. We discovered she can get me hard, get me dangerously close, then tell me I can not get off. When she does this two or three days in a row after an orgasm I become like a teenager. I get hard right away and can stay hard as long as she needs me to be.

    The most difficult aspect for me is not cumming when she has an orgasm with me inside her. Cumming at the same time use to be the epitome of sexual experience for me. It didn't happen very often for the first couple decades of marriage. Now when it could happen frequently I'm not allowed to let it happen. This absolutely drives me crazy.

    Over time my wife became comfortable putting her sexual desire above mine. (It took awhile because she's so nice.) She teases me and denies me and uses me for her pleasure. When I get to the point that I get close to cumming before she is satisfied she "Resets me" as she puts it and we start the process again. If your wife does this to you, I can't imagine you not getting to the point where you would explode inside her rather quickly. If she wants to get pregnant she could learn to time it to coincide with her ovulation.
     
  3. Great start... Now start a thread in the vault and keep let us know how your journey continues.
     
  4. i think what your feeling is normal. After all it wasn't really your idea. Most guys come here after discovering chastity and are really turned on by the idea. In your case not so much. But that said I think your wife is right in that your masturbation has become a problem. Just my opinion but masturbation seems to be something your so used to you cant get off any other way. Thats kinda big problem especially since your wife is the loser in all of this. Hope I dont seem harsh, not my intent. But my advice would be to stick with it, give it a real try and see what happens.

    Has your wife been teasing you at all during the week, getting you turned on? IF she isn't than I would suggest to her to do that, it will really help make your next orgasm much better. If she doesn't know where to start keephimcaged.tumblr.com has a lot of ideas. Good luck.
     
  5. Sorry if I gave the impression that I wasn't turned on by it, I do see it as a huge turn on. She has mentioned it as well, really taking to the control and power that it gives her. I really like your keepitcaged blog, the captions are great. I like that they are vanilla and won't scare her off like much of the other stuff on tumblr or reddit.She has been teasing me and I am enjoying/hating it. I was out for the day on Sunday because I was cycling with some friends. I texted her to tell her I was on my way home and she sent the lock emoji so I would know that I was being locked immediately when I returned. Obviously, she is getting some jollies here. :) Thanks all! I'll go look at the vault now.
     
    ineverknew likes this.
  6. Unlike the fantasy stuff your read online, wearing a chastity cage does not prevent you from masturbating. You can do so in one of several easy ways so you if you have no self control, locking up is not going to solve your problem.
     
  7. Well, its been a week and I haven't found a way to get it out. Too painful to pull my penis out of the top even when soft and the best I can do is try and hump the cage but that hasn't done much for me. So until I figure it out, I am good to go.
     
  8. Are you able to sleep in it comfortably? What device do you have?
     
  9. Not to give you any ideas but you can probably orgasm in the cage with a strong vibrator, like a Magic Wand. Also, some of those blogs are written as if they were KH's or some great femdom wife when they are actually written by guys.
     
  10. It is a knockoff HTv2 i think.

    I tried a vibrator but it doesn't really do much, maybe I'll try in another week after some additional pent-up frustration and see if things change.
     
  11. Why would you even try to cheat. Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I'm sure that every person on this site would agree that the reason you can only orgasm through masturbation is because you masturbate so much. I know that you have your own reasons, but perhaps you are just going through the stages of grief and haven't gotten to acceptance yet.
     
  12. Oh I was just replying to Vinny's comment. Haven't tried successfully or otherwise to cheat yet.
     
  13. yeah I wouldn't intentionally try to cheat either, not saying thats what you intend to do, but all guys get to a point where it can sometimes be too much and cheating is tempting.
     
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