My wife and I for years struggled with a difference in sex drives. I 'needed' it multiple times a week and if I didn't get it I would resent it and be passively aggressive and would eventually lash out. So she relented eventually and agreed to have sex every 4 days. The reality is she admitted once that she'd be fine with sex once a month. Sex every 4 days became almost mechanical and I could tell she was simply fulfilling her obligation. It became yet another chore for her. I bought a cb6000 about six weeks ago and suggested that on day 4, instead of automatic sex, I put the cage on and she can decide when we have sex. The exact words I used were, it can be in three hours of putting it on, three days, or three months....your call. It worked great, and to my great surprise, the first time she let me out for sex, she prefaced it by saying "I'm torn because I want that cage back on right away when we are done, not after four days." My heart skipped I beat. It was working! Of course I immediately agreed. After we were done I was half asleep on the bed and asked if she really meant 'right away' or if I could sleep without it and put it on the next morning. Her response "Well I did say right away so, yes, put it on now". Loved it. She is loving her newfound control (she told me she feels 'very empowered') and my increased attentiveness throughout the day. I am currently on day 9 of what I have to admit is a shockingly long lockup for me as a newbie. She admitted the other night while getting ready to read in bed (again) that she's decided the way to keep it working is to keep me in it for much longer than she originally thought I'm loving it. I swear I think every night is the night, and every night she gives me a sweet smile and soft kisses and then says goodnight. She even rolled over went to sleep on our anniversary after watching netfix. I casually asked the next day "I wonder if and when our anniversary sex might happen'. She smiled and just "I'll be the one to decide if that happens'. Still locked up. I'm loving this.
I'm glad it is working for you. I think what impresses me most about your post is 1) how you put her desires and wishes first and foremost, and 2) how well you've adjusted to having your desires regulated. It seems like a workable solution for both of you, especially since you've replaced your sullen disappointment with not getting any sex to anticipation and channel desire to having sex control. Wonderful.
Thanks for your support MissyB. I have to admit the past 24 hours have been very challenging for me. On Thursday night she whispered to me that things were looking promising for some sex at some point over the weekend. Friday night came and went, so did Saturday night, so I of course KNEW that Sunday night we would have sex. She got out her book on Sunday night and told me she really liked how intimate things felt when I am locked up and kissed me goodnight. I looked at the calendar on my phone and reminded her she was due for her period any day. She laughed and said 'oh my you're worried aren't you! Usually sex brings on my period, so by not having sex I can kill two birds with one stone!' As I type this I realize this is exactly what I signed up for, but holy hell it is difficult sometimes!!
Do I understand that sex equates to you using your penis and you having an orgasm in your mind? Hmmm. Well I'm afraid that may well not be the case in future! Chaste chaps and orgasms! What ever next. Have fun my friend!
Well played! I generalized. I would be happy to simply service her orally and be put away. Something I've told her several times to no avail. Wish me luck tonight!