Going Cold Turkey

Day 12.

A few little observations

1) Sitting to pee I noticed the familiar stain in my underwear, you know the one, where you pull your pants up too quick after knocking one out. The shameful stain of cum. So apparently I’m so desperate already these days that my body is disposing of it in its own way. Who knew.

2) My wife has taken so quickly to CBT, and I have responded in such a way that it’s on my mind quite a lot right now that I suggested that we purchase a humbler. I imagine that will be a mistake, but she declined for now nonetheless, she’s still not sure how she feels about hurting me.
There is no pain. It should hurt, but in the throws of her tease everything she does just feel euphoric.

3) My wife is getting temperamental about her lack of orgasms. Playing pass the parcel with viruses has caused this to be a very barren spell. She was anticipating a full Jody massage last night and (as a result of the aftermath of her period) a ‘good vibes’ only climax. She got neither, deeming me too snotty and gross for close contact.

4) I feel incredible. Im almost glad she hasn’t been able to peg me, an orgasm of any sort could detract from this heightened state of being. After discussing this we have a new philosophy right now: ‘fun without the cum’. It’s kinda catchy.

Update over. Back to waiting.

 

Ah, well it must have just been a few drops, but it was an unmistakable mark. It wasn’t a full load. Now that would have been something!

I would have agreed… but it escalated somewhat last night. Im now happy I didn’t go ahead and purchase the humbler, she on the other hand may disagree. (update pending)

I’ve been alright, it’s not affected me too much. More fatigue by the evening and asleep before 9pm. She has her needs, they have been neglected.

Paracetamol mostly, but that feeling of elevated well-being is hard to match. It’s helping that it feels new again, and coupled with a better lifestyle and better body. It’s fantastic.
To top that off it’s also being met with definite signs of approval, my mindset is so good right now.

 

Day 13

“If you can’t cum from me slapping your balls that’s your problem!”

It had been a relieving evening for my wife, life’s distractions put aside for a full body massage and some much needed release of tension. My health deemed acceptable for close quarters. As is the tendency with these scenarios this had escalated in nature, her wand grasped in her hand sending powerful vibrations to her sensitive, moist clitoris. Blindfold in place, she lay in a relaxed state of building enthralment.

We’ve been experimenting with some light ball busting of late. My limits yet to be pushed, it is my wife that is adapting to this new way, overcoming her preconceptions around delivering ‘pain’. It’s new for both of us, until recently that area may have been off limits, one of only two places I wouldn’t be touched. Why this has changed I could not answer, but a new level of trust has brought about some distinct changes into our playtime.

As my frontal caress came to a conclusion I moved myself on top of my wife, kissing her deeply before moving towards a softer touch on her neck. Reciprocal in nature, her mouth scouted around my upper neck, towards my collar bone. Inching lower down my chest, I willingly lifted my body to aid her mission. Her lips finally concluded their quest and found my nipple. Starting softly, she sucked lightly. It was not long before the pleasure in this was overcome by her tightening pressure. Her actions brought about pain, pain that sent exciting tingles throughout my body.
Her hands found my groin, quickly taking my balls into her grasp. Clenching tightly.

I groaned in a light breath, “Oh, Fuck.”

I could sense my wife’s heightening excitement, the tightening of her mouths grips on my nipple intensified. The pain elevating. The tension in her body apparent. She basks in giving pleasure and had found it in this minor act of sadism. My obvious enjoyment of the situation increased her vigour, her hand clasps tighter around my scrotum, squeezing the imperfect spheres together. Her firm grip had already surpassed her previous ‘torture’ levels and showed no sign of abating.

Tighter and tighter she grasped. Tugging slightly. The sensations throughout my body felt muffled. Unable to distinguish between the enjoyment and sheer agony.

My hands clasped at her body, wanting so desperately to tighten their grip, to overcome the unyielding sensations travelling from my groin and into my abdomen. It was over in a few short unrelenting moments. Had we had the foresight to enlighten each other with a safe word a few short seconds later would have had it exhaling from my mouth. A wicked, deviant act, so difficult to bring herself to impart had delivered maximum confusion within my nervous system.

For what felt like the briefest of moments she stroked me gently, cool liquid covered her hands. Oozing precum from the tip from my shaft lubricated her palms. It gave a cooling sensation against the heat of the agony, If she needed reassurance that these acts were greeted with anything other than positive reactions, my own excretions told their tale. Impossible to falsify.

Whether she needed more, something to bring her over the edge. To feel my excitement to overload her own pleasure centres or whether she had just enjoyed this new act, she began her torture once more. The pause may have just been to understand my reaction, to ascertain if I could handle this further. This time she went tighter, harder, and pulled more ferociously.

“Aghh” I inhaled through clenched teeth. Her grip tightened, her hands tugged. I became a blur within my own feelings. Her grasp forcing my reaction and it assaulted her senses with her own self-created pornography. Her body shook. She trembled as she gasped so quietly as she does and within moments her body relaxed. Her body relaxed, her grip didn’t.

‘Click’. The sound of the off switch, the vibrations halted. The usual lethargy in the aftermath of her orgasm replaced with a spring to action. Kneeling beside me, her hand still on my groin. One hand held me; her thumb and forefinger grasped my testicles, tightening them within their fleshy compound. Her other did something unexpected.

‘Thwack!’ All four of her fingers slapped against my scrotum.

I flinched. I gasped. It hurt… but I didn’t want it to stop!

I writhed in agony as her smacks recoiled through me. 10-15. I couldn’t even count. When she had concluded I lay still, panting, confused. My balls engorged through increased blood flow, my body trembled; half in pleasure, half recovering from shock. The influx of adrenaline pumping in my bloodstream was a wonderful concoction, bringing a feeling of ecstasy throughout my entity. My penis throbbed, trapped in within its titanium bars and I could feel the cool air lightly caressing the moisture on its tip. As my breathing subsided I yearned for a release but none was forthcoming.

“All things must come to an end”, my wife informed me with one last pinch of my testicles, a stroke of my cage and gleeful smile. Smiling in the glow of her own sadism, whilst I lay in the calm of submission to my own masachism desires.

This may escalate. My wife doesn’t seem so vanilla these days.

 

Don’t know if I put it in here or not but (with the exception of my holiday) I’ve been working out religiously 3-4 times a week for about 2 months or so. I’ve put on nearly a stone, and given the net zero change on my waistline, I’d say it’s been purely through muscle growth. I feel great.
My wife actually loves it…

I’ve had to change my diet due to intolerances which has been tough, and don’t say it too loudly but I’ve cut my alcohol down to once or twice a week.

 

Day 17

Apologies in advance. I ramble.

“The safe word is ‘potato’. If you say it three times I’ll stop. Not like summoning Beatlejuice, you’ll get a break every time… but in the third time it’s over completely.”

Somehow, my wife has taken the sexiest scenario I could imagine and made it completely, well, unsexy. Potato? I could think of 50-100 more humiliating words to say to bring this event to an end. No, I have to call out potato! My arms strapped down to the bed, my legs wrapped around my wife and my balls in her hand; I was at her mercy. The bed strewn with implements; ruler, paddle, pinwheel, tickler… I was in for something special. I’d asked for this, or at least shown an interest. My wife has been more than interested in exploring this further ever since we started dabbling in mild CBT. ‘Nice bondage’ is what we like to think of it. Yes, some of our acts wouldn’t be out of place in the ‘extreme bdsm’ section on PornHub, but we carry them out in a loving and fun way. We explore together.

She’d brought up the topic and expressed that she didn’t really know what to do next, in my naivety I found her the one instructional video she wouldn’t be intimidated by and shared it with her. This is it if any one is daft enough to feel they want to share it too! There’s not actually a lot of information on CBT techniques out there, or if there is I couldn’t find it. My wife mused that not many men would really want this to happen. Even so, here we were exploring this new avenue in our bedroom play.

After blindfolding me, she kissed me passionately, caressed me with a tickler and sucked on my nipples. That’s where the pleasure ended. The next twenty minutes before she had me call out ‘potato’ for the third time were powerful! The whips and slaps she gave to my testicles were excruciating in their short lived moments, the pressure of squeezing each ball individually was uncomfortably painful. My first safe word was muttered through this. The second after she paddled me, each strike increasing in ferocity. I stopped her before it became too much! The third was much easier to achieve… I simply couldn’t take anymore.
We had both agreed that kicking and punching were out of the equation this time around… and after careful consideration I will never be agreeing to their addition, what she did was enough. I felt relieved it was over, I felt the sexual tension dissipate in the acts and even now I don’t feel half as frustrated being contained. Sore maybe, but not overly horny.

We had a little debrief in which she laughed, “I can’t believe I made you tap out.”

I didn’t really have much to add to that, nothing except the truth, “I’d have been disappointed if you didn’t.”

I still don’t know if I really like it at all, but I wouldn’t want her going in half-heartedly. To leave me wanting more. We explored and there was one element I couldn’t dispute my pleasure for. Her control! Everything feels better when you are powerless to stop it. The pain, the pleasure, gently licking against the top of my caged penis, pressing her moist pre-cum soaked fingers into my mouth or just forcing the blindfold back down over my eyes when it became displaced. I loved being helpless to her dominance!

……

“I can’t let you out, I can’t control myself. I don’t like you being a dick!”

So that’s it really. That’s her new mantra in our chastity journey. There is to be no tempting of fate. I will only ever be let out of my cage when and if she wants me to orgasm! The first few weeks have been the toughest I have experienced. There really is something in the saying “it’s only real with a piercing.” I wouldn’t go that far, obviously I do this by choice and she’s not cruel in any form, but I can’t argue with the undeniable positivity it has brought into our relationship once again. I can feel myself being better for her, I can see her responding in kind. I have missed the old ways though, just a few minutes out of my cage here and there for a wash or a tickle. Just enough to give comfort. It would be selfish now to ask for her to change and jeopardise what we’ve started.

Even so, I find myself really struggling with the concept. I don’t want to orgasm, not really, but the thought of the denial is hard. The denial of entry: I miss just normal sex! I’d take it over any of the fantasy she is giving right now…. she won’t, I told her how I felt and she just responded, “well you can’t have that.”

I’m struggling with the lack of erections. We discussed that she asked if I needed them for any reason. We’ve had that conversation before and so she knows there is a ‘why’ but she genuinely couldn’t recall it. When I told her it was around shrinkage she seemed to care very little, “Well when we stop with the cage we’ll be old anyway and we won’t have sex.” No she wasn’t joking, it feels like she’s made the lifelong commitment. I’m really starting to think she prefers it all this way. (We did follow this up with a dispute as to whether people in their 70s still have sex or not?!)

What I would give to get inside her mind for a few hours, I’d definitely be finding out when this first period will be over. I know she wants to reach the premature ejaculation stage again, I hope she knows just how frustrating this could all become for me, how desperate I am for some substantial feeling against my hard shaft.

So, I don’t know if I like the pain, but I’m happy that the after affects bring some relief. There’s at least that. This is what I asked for….

 

I wouldn’t say I was worried about shrinking. Honestly, I don’t know if I like the thought. I think I like little changes, you know like when your partner grows hair it’s sexy but after a while you’re like “wouldn’t it be hot if we waxed it.”
I imagine any changes wouldn’t be permanent, but the thought of being let out in 33 years time and being too small to penetrate her crinkly dry fanny did have us laughing a little….
No, I think I noted this as it’s the change in mindset she has. She genuinely does not care about anything other than keeping me locked and orgasm free. That’s her priority. It’s why she’s exploring other things. (Within our sex life. Obviously she has priorities outside of the bedroom.)

I was reading one of my posts about being cut off from PIV, I’d never have to worry as she loves sex too much, that’s what gets her. Seeing me hard and enjoying myself, knowing I’m aroused… it’s like she’s put all that out of her mind and it’s ‘what else can we do’ to keep me entertained, to keep things interesting. It’s worrying as I don’t know if she’s considered my needs in this, or if she has she doesn’t care, she knows what needs to be done and she’s better than me at implementing it. Change is hard to deal with.

It’s like she’s giving me everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I’ve ever asked for and I’m still looking over the fence thinking “that grass looks green, I could sunbathe naked over there!”

I will say though, overall… I’m pretty damn good with it all! There’s things I’m struggling with, but the bigger picture looks far brighter.

 

Day 20

Today, I had another opportunity to wake up with my wife and start the day holding her in the brief moments before we awoke… but that’s not what people want to read about I’m sure…

After my last update my wife had a treat for me. Honestly, I was tired and I was feeling it and I’m sure she was too, but as I rubbed her feet it’s like for the moment we both exuded sexual energy. That’s when things took a positive twist. She decided that it was time for my first pegging in quite some time. She’d delayed it prior to my holiday knowing that it hadn’t been long enough, and then the countdown had to be reset in her mind. I would have taken it anytime and when she offered I could resist the temptation.

There’s one thing I don’t like when it comes to sex and that’s having someone watch my sexual reactions manifest themselves in my facial expressions. That said, I know how much she enjoys me liking things. Once I had aided her strap herself in and she had fondled herself as if this implement was her own I made a proposition. I’d go on top (my least favourite) if she coupled the experience with her magic wand. An experience we would both enjoy. As she had been so controlling and dominating in our previous encounter I didn’t mind that I would miss out on that side of her.

Obvious to say, she agreed!

As soon as I slid down onto her I knew I was in trouble, my lack of control now formulating itself into these sessions too.

“You’ll have to hurry. I’m going to cum.” I told her, desperately hoping that she’d have adequate time to enjoy this moment. As my motions became more fluid and forceful into her shaft, I felt her body begin to quake. Lifting her hips upward as she tensed in climax. It was enough to defeat any control I had over my own bodily functions. Semen poured from the tip of my cage, covering her erect nipples and delightful breasts.

She laughed at the concept of us both orgasming so quickly and I think that technically this makes it the first occasion that we have climaxed together through sex since we started our journey some time ago. I’d say it was quite magical… if it was so perverse!

Locktober
So that ended as quickly as it began. The 1st of October brought about the first use of the key (screwdriver). My wife worried that I hadn’t been able to clean myself properly after the previous night and let me out for 5 minutes whilst I bathed. I don’t know if that’s on the Locktober rule book or not, I should consult the chastity elders really. Anyway, it was post work out. I was heavy in my breathing, my muscles ached and I had no residual energy…. This made it rather frustrating affair as blood would not flow to my favoured organ! My first unlock was not coupled with an erection. Frustration!

The mind boggles
I said it in my last post, and I think I have the same feeling right now. I’d love to know what goes through her mind. The previous evening before she pegged me, we’d had one of those evenings that just didn’t go to plan. I was tired and really not feeling the situation, I should have told her so or left out the more erotic play but I didn’t. She was tired and also not feeling it. Frustrated with her lack of climax she lashed out and the nearest thing to her… “I hate that your in a cage, I hate that I’m just laid here, I don’t like this at all”

In the moment I offered to come out of the cage to take the pressure from her, but she was steadfast in her response, “no way!”.

What I can’t understand is how wearing a strapon changes that? How she finds that so erotically charged? I’ve known before that just putting it on turns her on, I’ve seen her dribbling just putting on her straps so this isn’t the same ‘enjoying his pleasure’ that she normally feels. I will never get clear answers out of her. She’s a strange creature.



Edit: I don’t know if this is now day 20 as I climaxed 2 days ago… it was caged though. Does that count? I don’t know if I care so much. I’m sticking with the timer for now which counts down from the last time I entered her wonderful vagina!

 

Oh ok. I shall give more detail on this front. I actually wrote my last post quickly while I was waiting between interviewees… (side note, no one turned up! Except the final one. An absolute waste of a day without being able to finish early!)
Anyway. I shall expand in my next update.

Haha! well one one timer may be reset… the others continue. It’s not like anyone actually sets multiple timers for chastity? Or do they? Yes. Yes I do.
Obviously, I’ve not had a ruined orgasm in some time but that timer is off. I love how happy that guy looks to have given up his freedom. There was another picture I used but it felt wrong, he seemed anguished. That is not how I felt at all.

 

Day 20: The culminating affects of intimacy. A detailed account of my morning with my wife.

Today, I had another opportunity to wake up with my wife and start the day holding her in the brief moments before we awoke. As that’s what people want to read about I shall elaborate.

Technically, the above statement is false. I had already awoken slightly earlier. My levels of horniness have not dwindled with the activities that ensued just a few days prior. My balls still feel engorged and my desire to be in and around my wife remains flowing through every inch right down to my core. I was awoken early by my bodies needs to show this with a sturdy erection, my wife’s actions have ensured that all this achieves is a slightly shorter sleep. Unperturbed by this, (creatine, cannot beat it for it affects on the bodies necessity for sleep) I got up quietly and made myself some breakfast, let out the dog and returned with all the necessary items my wife needs to get her day of to a good start; a hot cup of tea and diet shake in lieu of breakfast.

I crept back into bed and felt myself drifting back off to sleep, being awake and productive had subdued my body’s reactions to my wife’s captivity. A few moments passed, or so, maybe I was asleep by then, but I felt my wife stirring. Her alarm went off shortly after. As she returned to her sleeping position, the alarm safely on snooze I leaned over her and held her close. Her hand found mine and she held it tightly. A kiss to her shoulder was reciprocated with one on my forehead. I felt a warm love pass through me. 8 minutes of bliss!

And that’s when she realised that she started a full hour and a half before she had anticipated. The moment was cut ever too short. My sleepy eyes followed my wife’s journey around the room, squinting as she got angered by the lamp being unplugged (something she had done herself.) I watched as she scrunched up her breasts and squeezed at her tummy in the mirror. Her expression was one of despair. All the work she was doing to get herself active and be her best self, it can feel fruitless at times, I feel her pain. She still looks stunning to me. I could watch her all day, just longing for her to climb back on top of me and join me in bed. To talk about nothing as we have all the time in the world, sadly that life is not ours yet. One day. For now we have life’s responsibilities to contend with, all of which are made easier in the harmony we have created in the simple act of orgasm denial. One simple act that reaps rewards far greater than either of us ever imagined. Hey, there’s also a lot of fun along the way too!

My wife left the room. The loud sprinkle of her morning wee could be heard from the bedroom. It makes me smile every time. As my mind wandered onto more perverse thoughts of this act, I sensed the door creeping open.

“Where’s mummy.” My toddler said, muffled by his bedtime dummy. He got into bed. Copied my pose; legs straight but crossed over, arms behind our heads and laughed at his own silliness.

Upon wife’s return she noticed the warm cuppa on the bedside cabinet. “Is that fresh?”

She took it, had a sip and gave me one of her beautiful smiles, the one that she reserves for little acts of kindness that have brightened her day, she then spent a good time just enjoying the moments with our little boy.

My son and I lay there for the next twenty minutes just watching this wonderful creature as she went through the rest of her morning routine. We didn’t really say much, none of us were fully awake and he fell asleep before she left. We both received a kiss goodbye.

Ok. Maybe people like to hear about a happy marriage.

 

Day 21. The updates just keep coming…


Absent wife.
So I saw my wife her for the last time for a few days this morning, she’s not going away just out in consecutive evenings. I feel a little saddened by that. I don’t know, but I’ve really just enjoyed the nothingness that we have together right now. She just fills my time with warm feelings. She was laying fully covered pyjamas. Dead to the world but completely uncovered by the covers! I wondered how she could be so relaxed without protection against monsters. I can’t even put a bare foot out of the covers just incase they get me! I pulled the covers over her a little, it seemed a nice act at the time, but the more I consider it it’s probably best I won’t be seeing her. Nobody need a sweaty woman in their life!


Last night I brought up the situation around our joint climax using the strapon, she just shrugged as if she didn’t care one iota. “So what, this is our way now.”

After so long with my wife I know better than to push for more understanding. Is this our way now? Or does she just mean that this is part of our journey, that other things may happen but we’ve discovered something interesting? Who knows? I don’t know how I’d feel about our sex life revolving purely on her use of her dildo in me, it seems frustrating. Almost too frustrating… yet it somewhat arouses me all the same.

Anyway, nobody wants to read about the sexual side of my relationship and so, after this conversation she did something I’m really not used to at all. She complimented me!

She was just telling me about her work colleague, you know the one, they complain about tier partners all the time? It soon gets old. She said she felt guilty listening to it, knowing how great I am to her. It was barely even meant to be a compliment, just a stand alone statement within her conversation but it came across so caring, as if she genuinely is appreciative of my devotion to her. She’s currently very happy. That’s a strange thing to say, but she has negative persona a lot of the time. Seeing the worst in the situation, rather than life’s positives. So to know how’s shes feeling on this front is massive for me


Safe word
As she’s out for a few days consecutively this week she’s offered me another safe word night. Offered isn’t the right word this time around, she’s told me that’s what she’ll be doing. I did suggest we follow this path and she’s definitely going along with that side as it’s what I want but I’m now trying to come to terms with this new normal. After the other evening’s disappointing end I know I need to start accepting pleasure that she gives, rather than seeking her approval in allowing me to give her more. It’s too easy to get caught up in fantasy. My wife likes it irregularly, when she’s really in the mood for it. Generally, she gets more pleasure from rewarding me, perhaps it even alleviates some of her guilty feelings knowing I already do so much. She values the acts out of the bedroom higher than those inside (I’m the other way around!) I need to be open to that.


What would we change?
We were watching some mundane drivel on the Tv last night, Married at first sight UK. One particular conversation peaked both our interests, What would we change about each other?

She asked me first, and honestly, after pushing myself beyond the typical response of “I wouldn’t change a thing, you’re perfect.” I considered the previous morning and could only think that I wished she saw what I saw. I’d change her enough to give her the confidence to know how beautiful she is.

I didn’t have anymore other than that.

She asked about sex, would I not change her sex drive? (I think at times she is more transfixed on our sexual interactions than I am!)
No I wouldn’t, I replied that if she had much higher sex drive we wouldn’t have chastity in our lives. I’d never know just how much better I could be for her. Maybe it was my sex drive that needed to change in the situation.

I don’t actually think my sex drive has changed at all, but understanding that harnessed in the wrong way now will just lead to frustration, my high sex drive is an overwhelming positive.

She thought for while before hitting me with the thing she would change. She’d make me better in social gatherings. My kryptonite being lots of new people in one space….

She wasn’t upset over it, rather wanting others to see me for who I really am. I actually felt really loved in that moment, for someone to know exactly who you are and want other to see that side of you too. Yeah I get that.

She then concluded that as there really isn’t much we’d change around each other we were lucky to have met!

 

Pleasure in the pain

It’s been a weird week or so since my last post, the fun and exciting times we entertained ourselves with suddenly dropped off a cliff almost instantaneously. Not just our sex life. Everything in around us became slightly more difficult. I was once again back to waiting.

I hate the waiting!

As part of this, my lifting routines and healthy eating habits also stopped. Instead of building mass I’ve taken an unscheduled turn into cutting, my body looks great… but this was not the plan. That’s relevant.

But let’s go back a little….

Day 25
I think when I last left off from here I had promises of more torture. More safe word play. Instead of this she had a change of plan.

We made love.

I felt her for the briefest of moments. The luscious delight of her warm moist area against my raging member. Sweet, sweet bliss, but my lack of control is, well… out of control. As soon as she was understanding that I couldn’t do much more than just feel her it was time for the Emla cream.

It’s a weird sensation, the graduating affects of the cream; If I didn’t know I had applied it to myself it would feel as though every thrust opened her further, made her vagina more slick and lubricated. The joy soon turns to frustration. This, however, is overtaken by other joys; the sound of her moans with each thrust, the feel of the warm, soft skin of her hips and the incredible sight of groin pushing gently against her pert rear. These moments are not about the feeling in our penis. These are the moments to really enjoy being intertwined!

She’s certainly enjoyed it! When she was done I held her before beginning the clean up and piercing switches needed to recage. This was painful. It made me irritable and frustrated in the wrong way. Agitated. It ruined the whole evening for me. (If anyone has seen my other post about the je ne se quois, this is it. It kills the intimacy!)

We needed another way. To recapture this without the fuss.

Day 27
It weird. I really enjoy hurting you, who knew!

I don’t know if this text from my wife (that came almost out of the blue) was received before, after, in between or even somewhere around this evening. It is however, a pretty clear statement. The ‘torture’ is going to play a big part in our continuing journey. I have said that we should try with the ball gag and she has refused that. The fun is in making me say her safe word!

The fun on Day 27 started with her cane. She hasn’t used it for a long time, so much so that it’s almost become redundant. She just hasn’t really felt it necessary.
Caning for her was always about correction and she really doesn’t want to discipline me. The bedroom to her (or at least when we are in the mood) should be a fun space. This is our pleasure zone! Only by telling her of my own enjoyment of ball torture has she accepted that causing ‘harm’ is ok. As soon as she wielded it, snapping it against the air, that’s when I knew i was in for something different. No longer will I complain about her limp wrist action! Laid down on the bed, each strike made me spasms, my body lifting and crashing down against my cage. After 10 strikes she had her first safe word of the night. She seemed happy, my ass was left with red streaks that would bruise and remain visible for the following week. Turning me over for a variation to her torture method she struck me with her new found dominance, “if that isn’t bruised tomorrow we’ll be doing it all over again!” It was a serious statement. There was no playing around, if I use the safe word she expects that she has brought me to my limits.

For the next 30 to 40 minutes I had my hands strapped to the bed. Alternating between squeezing, slapping, paddling and clawing at my testicles. Painful delight… but not so much as her next move.

“I don’t know if you need lube for this, it looks small enough but I’m going to use it anyway.”

A cold, wet implement pushed inside me, i know my toys well enough to know she was using the small aneros massager. It’s pretty lame. It takes some mental headspace to really enjoy, a rhythmic pulse of your own muscles. It takes time…

Nope. Fuck me she really went to town and pushed it uncompromisingly against my spot.

The alternation had a new variable; pleasure. pain, pleasure, pain… orgasm!! My body shook but (she tells me) that I just moistened.

She didn’t stop. Pleasure. Pain. Pleasure. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pleasure, I felt that one. This wasn’t moistening. I was covered in cum (or piss?! I couldn’t tell. It wasn’t, apparently cum dribbled out. Lots and lots dribbled out…. I don’t know if I said I was blindfolded! But I was at her mercy!) Anal orgasms are the most incredible feeling, you lose yourself. The penis is deemed unnecessary. It takes over and in that moment you just don’t care about anything other than the overwhelming sensations that consume your body. If anything, I imagine this is how a female orgasms would feel. Why they look so powerful. Our dicks are just useless implements to a false sense of satisfaction.

Oh, so after all this was done we had a conversation about my eating habits and how my weight gain had flatlined. We agreed, and I’m not even sure if I lead this one, but strapon sex would occur if I gained 2lbs in a week… so I was finally going to fox the fuck out of her. My manhood restored in some weird, faux, silicone setting. I would get another fantasy if only I kept up the aspect of my life that has had the (second) best impact on my own mood! I look like a god and I can take her like one…. Yeah that’s not actually what she meant, I found this out about a week later after being disappointed by the scales. She actually meant pegging! Which by the way leads me into a weird point, what do you define as sex? @littleguy3 created a post on it. I can answer quite clearly that my wife now considers sex as this: she straps on a fake penis and she puts it inside me. To her, that is sex. Are we kidding? So now I’m worried about really getting to feel real PIV…


Day 29
I’m just going to keep the rest brief as I’ve been writing this post for way too long…

…I’ll add that by this point we’re both tired and really not in the mood, so as sexy as this is… it was all just a trial run…

… a couple of weeks ago my wife asked me to order her some jumpers. A lot of jumpers! She wanted them from SHEIN. Anyone not in the know: it’s cheap shit directly from China. As a joke (like I want this, but I know SHEIN sizing doesn’t fit) I ordered her a PVC lingerie set. After this I also discovered that SHEIN also sell sex toys… and more importantly CBT and Domination related toys, naturally, for a really low price i bought an abundance of new ‘torture’ toys.

So on day 29 I told her that she had a surprise. The bag of whips, paddles and ticklers (etc, etc) was a good addition. What I did not expect when I got out of the bath was that she was dressed fully in PVC with them all out. She wanted to try each one! Her favourite was the flogger, it looked cute but it delivered a sting. She doesn’t want to use it on my groin as she can’t control it… but the strokes she gave it told a story. She loves it! My ass stung after the attention. The memory of how she looked dressed like that will live forever.

Day 31
A long time coming, but I finally got to give her some solo attention. I attempted the joint wand, which has been pleasurable before. Not this time. (See my other French post)

Holding her as she climaxed felt incredible. What came next was perfect. Almost pushing me down to the bed, she rested herself on me and cuddled away for the next 10 minutes. That was it. That was what I’ve been missing.

… and Today.
The sleeve arrived. (See my French post). She loved it. It looked tiny, but she was sure it will cover my piercing. I am sure I’m bigger, perhaps not! She told me that she will try it out tomorrow but then that will be my reward for gaining two lbs a week. I worked this out. To meet my weight goals, I’ll receive 6 erections with no guarantee of anything further. That felt tough.

So I think that takes is to now. Day 32 without an uncaged orgasm…. I’ve never felt more satisfied.

My wife left me tonight. A special works event without partners. She looked gorgeous, she was worried about her makeup looking too “drag”. She was way off the mark… I described it as “cute”.
A sleek black dress with a slit leg, her freshly fake tanned tattoos glistened in the light. If I had seen her for the first time on this event I would have been too concerned to approach her. She feels way out of my league at times.
She told me her makeup would look better with her PVC… and then she left. I am living the fantasy! She is loving it! We have never been closer. Wtf!
She didn’t look like a dominatrix, she was the mysteriously unconfident girl I fell for; Unapologetic for her insecurities. Concerned how others would perceive her. (She made me change her underwear three times as she was worried of VPL) But now she is safe in the understanding there would never be judgement from myself. I see her. Others get the other side of that coin, the pretend side of who she wants to be.

To find love with all the sprinkling of kink. This is what I signed up for!