goddess said"i don't get it?"-please explain

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by happypants, Jul 7, 2010.

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  1. happypants
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    happypants Goddess Jen's husband

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    i was in chastity on and off for a few months when we started out. yes it is fun. went back into it couple of days ago because my "urges" were starting to get the best of me. what i trying to understand is this--- i have not had and orgasms unless it was with Goddess-PERIOD. kept my word-in or out of chastity. wearing the device all day long doesn't make sense to me. we've had this talk before and the answers still didn't explain-why bother? is it to think of her all day long?---to late,already do. is it to stop me from having orgasms? --i don't with out her. wearing it is fun but what does it mean to GODDESS- that i don't get. if you already have complete control without it-then why have it? i want to keep Goddess happy and interested in the "game". please explain. thanks. happy
     
  2. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    I'll wait to hear some replies before I put in my .02. Perhaps if he hears it from someone else, I can get this to sink into his head.

    Ladies? Give a sister a hand here. Thanks :D

    ps...I think it's hard for my husband to grasp that it's just plain ol' fun to have his cock locked in plastic, while I hold the key.
     
  3. Spike's Bitch
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    Spike's Bitch Member

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    I WISH i had that amount of control over my own urges. I've tried but failed and ended up with a PA piercing as punishment. I am affraid what would be the next punishment so i prefer to have a device on that can make sure I never have to find out!
    :)
     
  4. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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  5. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    Oh, and let me add this really quick (yeah, I lied about not answering)..

    How do I have full and complete control when you can still get a hard on? When you're still able to touch your cock whenever you like? You may not be having any unauthorized orgasms, but I know you're tossing off to porn in the man cave when I'm out. Right?? Yeah, that is NOT my idea of control.
     
  6. happypants
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    happypants Goddess Jen's husband

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    picky picky picky! :D
     
  7. Spike's Bitch
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    Spike's Bitch Member

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    I do agree there is nothing satisfying about being locked up for a long time and then giving yourself a release without permission in a moment of weakness.
    But the sex drive gets the better of me sometimes.
    Plus i agree, there is more to the device then just blocking orgasms. Its the feeling of being owned i like a lot too as well as the pain when getting a hardon with the device on.
    Well i dont like the pain at all, it really hurts the PA, but it does reinforce my mistress's dominance imo.

    As for a full belt. I hope not! But thats up to mistress to decide. I think i behave pretty well with just the cage on?! :)
     
  8. SubHub72
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    SubHub72 Member

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    I introduced male chastity to my wife and we do enjoy it a lot. To be honest, I wish I was locked and denied more than I am. That being said, I don't think I could ever be locked 24/7 and I don't really like being locked while I am on the job - it's just too distracting for me and neither of us benefits by my job performance declining. I love being locked during sexual play, knowing that I am likely to be denied the key but *hoping* that my performance will change her mind (although it rarely does...).

    Perhaps if I was locked for longer periods - "broken" - I would feel differently and just get used to being locked and feeling naked without the cage, as I have read described elsewhere. As for now, however, our chastity play is mainly Friday through Sunday. I am really into bondage and I think I just view the chastity cage as another restraining device. It is really fun to see my cock trying to burst out of the cage, and the contrast of my inability to obtain sexual relief when my wife gets literally all the sexual pleasure she can take. I much prefer to be locked if my wife is going to deny me.

    However, I've not immediately gotten hard the last few times I've been locked and my wife was not at all happy about that. I think she really enjoys the physical proof that I am aroused and she far prefers the feeling of my erect cock against her than the hard cage. I asked when we would play with the chastity device again and she simply stated "when we're apart".

    I can relate to HappyPants in the sense that if we are into kinky play, I can be the "master of my domain" using willpower alone. It has been hard, but I can do it. In fact, one time when the temptation was too strong, I just locked myself up and told my wife about, which she seemed to appreciate. But I don't really desire to be locked while real life is happening...
     
  9. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    I guess it's a communication thing (arent they all!). We are now back on the honour system with the CB6000 back in its little box although I do reserve the right to re cage him if I feel his behaviour is slipping. For my part, I enjoy the emotional and intellectual form of chastity we have in our daytime relationship and like seeing him in a device for play / re enforcement as I think it does look sexy on him. Practically, he doesn't believe he could have got to this point (ie honour system) without the physical re enforcement of a device but believes the training and experience mean that the lesson is learnt and it just doesn't feel right to handle his own orgasms now. Help and re enforcement might mean that he wears the CB6K whilst away from me on business but that's all.

    For my part, I think the CB6k, whilst effective, is ugly, unhygenic and too functional looking. The Eros steel is too uncomfortable to be worn other than play so we compromise and during the day, he wears the glans ring I bought him and always wees sitting down. I maintain his submission in lots of other ways - which he loves.

    That seems to be working for us at the moment.
     
  10. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    The cage makes me feel 100% more dominant, more horny... can't explain it.

    I trust pet, I know he is fine on the honours system, but I just prefer the cage.

    It's a symbolic piece of jewellery.
     
  11. Red_Flag_Sam
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    Red_Flag_Sam Member

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    My girlfriend and I tried chastity paly a little bit without a device. Even when she said no it was really tough not to and I'd still have a play with my cock even if I didn't cum. Sometimes I still would while playing, even accidentally. I think having the device on is really ULTIMATE control because it removes temptation to just have a play, and removes risk of accidentally cumming. I think as it was my first experience of chastity and it was without the device, I don't think any normal, red blooded male would've been able to cope unless it was locked away! I just couldn't resist I guess because I knew it was (or was supposed to be) in the power of my gorgeous, beaufitual girlfriend, and that turned me on too much and I just had to touch it.

    As it is, my girlfriend doesn't mind occasionally doing an odd BDSM scene with me, but at the moment, we're wanting to grow as a couple before we take the step to do something like Chastity play. She feels she needs to feel more committed to me and the relationship before we do it, which seems fair as we've been together 9 1/2 months so far, so there's still a lot to learn about each other and our relationship :). And I'm more than happy to as she makes me so happy, so even though ideally she would be my keyholder and keep me locked away, I'm happy to wait till she's ready. As I said in my opening post in the Foyer - she is happy for me to find a keyholder or someone for me to be accountable to for a couple of weeks (in case someone wants to take control that lives in the States or Australia or something) so that I can have an experience of it, so long as I'm free when we see each other! (We're both students so often its a a good few weeks between getting to see each other).
     
  12. Slave_Scott
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    Slave_Scott Owned and Controlled By Mistress Shar

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    happypants, I wear my steel cage 24/7 and I go to work in it as well as due my duties around the house. I shower and clean myself there and my Mistress takes it off me twice a week so I can do a complete genital shaving and starilize my device. When it is off I feel completly naked and vulnerable and can't wait to get it back on. My Mistress loves that I feel this way. When Mistress takes the device off me so we can have intercourse it is put right back on when we are finished. I love the feeling it gives me that Mistress is in full control of me sexually. :D
    I feel a closer bound to my Mistress with the device on because it makes her feel like she is the special one in my life, the only one.
     
  13. Kali
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    Kali No access to my Member

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    Madam tells me that my attitude and behavior are significantly better when I'm locked up. I'm no less devoted to her when not in the device, but she tells me that I am a far better maid/housekeeper when I have the device as a constant reminder of my status.
     
  14. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    It is all about control. 100% control and nothing less! Make your Goddess happy!
     
  15. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    He makes me very happy, Sophia. Chastity or no chastity. John is the love of my life, and whether his dick is locked in plastic or not, he's still the cats fucking meow. :cat:
     
  16. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    Yes, Goddes Jen, i believe you two are very happy!
    Only i got the feeling, the feeling of total control can be an erotic, good thing for the Dominant person in the house.
    Just wanted to help since your dear happypants asked.
     
  17. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    I can certainly see the turn-on of having a spouse locked in chastity, even if he vows not to have unauthorized orgasms.

    First, there's the simply aesthetic. Seeing the cage on there is a turn-on for many women, I believe.

    There's the bondage aspects. Seeing the sub locked into something he can't remove himself.

    There's the control aspect. Having him promise, it's really under HIS control. While he's wearing the device, it's more under the Domme's control.

    There's humiliation. Some men find it uncomfortable, unpleasant or naughty. That can be titillating.

    The shared kink, shared secret. It's pushing the kink into the everyday experience. It's somewhat like prolonged foreplay.

    I suspect for many KH's who like to enforce chastity that it's a combination of all these things.

    mikecb
     
  18. happypants
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    happypants Goddess Jen's husband

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    thank you all for your replies. i really think mikecb--hit the nail on the head---"There's the control aspect. Having him promise, it's really under HIS control. While he's wearing the device, it's more under the Domme's control." that MAKES PERFECT SENSE!. goddesses feeling of complete control. i think she really LOVES this aspect.
    thanks for the reply's--happy :D
     
  19. Ms.Linda
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    Ms.Linda No longer a member

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    If I may.....I'd like to add one more thing to what mike said.

    Wearing the device is similar to wearing your wedding ring. It is an outward and visable sign of the commitment you have made to your S/O.

    I agree with mike on the aesthetics. Seeing My man in a chastity device is a major turn on. Not only does that device symbolize his devotion to Me, it also looks very appealing.

    It also purports the illusion of giving up control to your Wife/KH. As was stated in another thread, if a man wants out of a device, there are certainly many ways to accomplish that feat. But, when a man consents to being locked, he is, in effect giving that control to the person holding the key. This implies a certain level of submissiveness on his part and imbibes a strong sense of control on the part of the KH. Just as that device you're in is a constant reminder of Her, the key She carries is a constant reminder of you.
     
  20. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    I think the importance of aesthetics is vastly underestimated. More than a few women (me included) find the big clunky plastic CB3000 et al to be ugly and somewhat ridiculous-looking. It puts them off, and many men feel self-conscious (either because they think the device is ugly, or they pick the vibe up from their partner).

    The Lori was and still is exquisite, but, alas, John couldn't wear it for more than a day or two without some serious oedema. That was really quite a disappointment. It was perfect in all but utility, lol.

    So now we have the Tollyboy belt - and because of the aesthetics, John wouldn't even consider wearing one until he'd lost weight and got his muscles and six-pack back (kudos to him for deciding to do this and then achieving it - he's 45 and middle-age makes it much harder).

    For him, the thought of having bulging lard around the belt was anathema.

    Sarah
     
  21. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    I SO identify with THAT one. Though I'm an aerobics instructor, I'm still packin' some extra weight around the middle. Even when I train heavily and my arms and legs are lean as can be, I have some pudge in the middle. It's always bothered me that a full belt would look bad, with the "overhang" lol.

    mikecb
     
  22. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    Yes. And I admit, albeit reluctantly, it would put me off, much as I love and desire John.

    But the good news is... it's moot because he's my lean, mean he-can't-fuck-me machine [​IMG].

    Tangentially... the courier just delivered a 10kg bag of 80% whey protein. It's impressive. But I know it means Mr Snake Hips is going to be making me work hard in our garage-gym. Bastard! [​IMG]

    Sarah

    P.S. That'y typical male-pattern fat, Mike. John says a chap named Lyle MacDonald is the bees knees on this kind of thing.
     
  23. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    I'd like to thank all the people who responded to my husbands thread. I knew he could come here and count on the knowledgeable folks at the Mansion to help him out.

    I think he's finally got it!!! We had a long talk last night about why I like him in a device, and he has agreed to put it on whenever I like. You all had excellent points that I couldn't put into words on my own. The whole "I just like it" wasn't flying with him. So, thanks bunches. :CMrocks:
     
  24. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    And they shit-loads of them, so rock on Millers!

    Don't even get me started.

    You have the perfect husband, we're all jealous.

    Pass the dictionary. On 2nd thoughts, I can't be arsed. I'm sure you're right, I won't even bother to argue.
     
  25. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Main Entry: anath·e·ma
    Pronunciation: \ə-ˈna-thə-mə\
    Function: noun
    Etymology: Late Latin anathemat-, anathema, from Greek, thing devoted to evil, curse, from anatithenai to set up, dedicate, from ana- + tithenai to place, set — more at do
    Date: 1526
    1 a : one that is cursed by ecclesiastical authority b : someone or something intensely disliked or loathed —usually used as a predicate nominative <this notion was anathema to most of his countrymen — S. J. Gould>
    2 a : a ban or curse solemnly pronounced by ecclesiastical authority and accompanied by excommunication b : the denunciation of something as accursed c : a vigorous denunciation : curse


    LMAO I perticualy like this part
    someone or something intensely disliked or loathed

    Mistress Michelle
     
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