Giving up (for now)

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Kate Medova, May 26, 2017.

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  1. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    I've self locked on and off for a couple of years now but unfortunately never experienced it within a relationship.

    Right now I have lots going on and chastity is low down my list. I still enjoy it but not as much as I did. Giving up for now and concentrating on my non chastity and non kink interests. I've removed myself from Fetlife but I'll keep my account here. Although I've cleaned it out a little and removed photo's.

    I think I need to experience chastity within a FLR but that is not on the radar at the moment.

    I'll still pop in here now and again to catch up and chat.
     
  2. qwerty01
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    qwerty01 New member

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    Yea, I've also come to find out that chastity stuff during stressful times is not the best idea. This and giving up on sweets.

    If you got problems you need solved for real, solve them first, engage in chastity and stricter diets afterwards. Me, I'm solving mine. Hope can get back to all that stuff before the end of this summer. Abstinence just makes me feel worse otherwise - and noticeably worse, at that. Thanks god I ain't into drinking...
     
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  3. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    Thanks. I'm not particularly stressed. It's just I tend to become obsessive with certain things and it becomes a huge distraction. I've got so many other things I want to do but had become too focused on chastity and kink. I concluded they weren't that important (of course).

    The interest isn't going away. I am submissive and nothing is going to change that. But life happens and other things are important to me and I need to progress those without major distraction for a while.

    PS. Avatar back. I couldn't take that blank box!
     
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  4. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    You do not need to experience chastity in a FLR, you just need a key holder that you love and whom you allow to control your orgams. I am not in a FLR marriage and never was and I am locked up because my wife likes it that way and so do I.

    Most guys who self lock disappear from Fetlife. I have been to that site since it existed. The chastity topics are filled with self lockers and every time I go back in a few months, it seems like there are all new names. Your problem is that solo chastity lacks the sexual teasing which makes it all worth it. You are also both prisoner and warden. That does not work out very well in prision or in chastity. You also miss out on putting your sex life in the hands of someone you love and who enjoys your sacrifice.

    There are guys who have self locked for long periods of time, or so they say online. Hard to tell these days. However, the great majority quit it after the initial fun is gone. I was into BDSM for 47 years and I have always had to find a girl willing to do the things I wanted to do. None had the experience but all believed that what two consenting adults did was OK, and would try things that I taught them. I always found someone since I quickly left the none sexually adventurous girls. I went out 3 nights a week to meet women and it takes an effort and thick skin to do that. Rejection from a girl means nothing more than she is not into you. It does not mean all girls are not into you. There is a lid for every pot as they say.

    I once tried BDSM with an online Mistress which stopped being fun the day I found out she was a he. :) Look for a key holder and you do not need a FLR to enjoy the full benefits of Chastity, just another human as a keyholder whom you are willing to sexually submit to for love or a need to be submissive. Pick your own poison as long as you have a real KH. Good luck and Chastity is just a sex game, should be fun for all involved and should not interfere with your regular life unless you want to of course.
     
  5. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    Thanks Vinny. You have partially hit on what I [think] I need. I am not necessarily looking for sexual teasing. It would be nice but doesn't have to be there. What I am really looking for is to give someone what they want and hopefully get something I like too. If that involves teasing it involves teasing. If if doesn't then it doesn't. It would not be my call. Yes I obviously have my likes and desires but that's not my focus. I did use the term FLR but I'm not even sure if that is what I really want. While I am submissive I am very much my own person. But then we all are, and many successfully manage that dynamic.

    I also applaud your efforts but I really don't have the time or inclination to go out looking. It suspect it would likely be a fruitless exercise anyway where I live. Also I am not exactly a 'people person'. At least that is the case with most people I meet.

    A while ago I was guided to lock by a lovely lady I chatted with online quite regularly and that made a huge difference. Alas that came to an end although we still exchange the odd friendly email from time to time.
     
  6. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    Well that didn't last long! I felt naked without it. I'm locked again now and feel much better.

    I'm going to try and not focus on chastity or the device and just get on with things.
     
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