Giving her time

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Coffeeandcaged, Sep 27, 2021.

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  1. Coffeeandcaged
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    Our relationship is what I like to call Neapolitan. My wife being the vanilla and myself being the chocolate and strawberry. There are certain things she's ok with me doing but really doesn't want to participate in. (like me wearing my Chasity cage and her being the key holder). Given all the advice from this forum about giving her time and showing her the benefits of male chastity, I am slowly seeing a change in her direction. She now hides the key and unlocks me when she gets home from work. This past weekend I made no mention to her to unlock me and I stayed caged all weekend. She responded on Sunday night with " you were so nice to me all weekend do you want me to unlock you before bed". I was shocked and happy at the same time.
    Another thing that I'm sure she notices but doesn't say anything about, is When ever my dick's in play I get hard, put it in, cum and rollover. When I'm locked, I kiss, cuddle, message and please her orally multiple times then finish with another message. It's not on purpose, I'm just a man and when my dicks in play it tends to be all about my dick and when I'm locked it's all about her. I think over time your significant other needs to see the benefit to her as well as the benefit to you so she can understand the benefit of male chastity to the marriage/relationship as a whole.

    Just my thoughts and my situation. :)
     
  2. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Sounds like you've understood how chastity can help. Next time if she asks if you want to be unlocked, tell her no. You'd prefer to stay locked so you can focus on her needs and not your dick's. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  3. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    Yay! Be patient. Don't push her too much. Just be better at the surrounding things in being her partner and she will learn to love and enjoy it. It's not a track meet, it's a marathon.

    Locktober for us was a nice play in. It's a playful time using chastity as the focal point and portrays it as fun. It's not about a solid lockdown but some games and fun play within it.

    Women don't make decisions immediately. They need some time to digest it. Tell her she is doing amazing at it, and you are hopeful she can learn about the experience and why you would be into such things. Good luck.

    M.
     
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  4. Whiskey05
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    Whiskey05 Member

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  5. Whiskey05
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    My GF has the problem that for her it's Give and Take and can't get round the idea take. Has it in her head that she will have all the pleasure and I won't get anything from being in chastity. I am slowly trying to get it through to her that I will be getting something out of it. You can teach Old Dogs ( no she isn't) new tricks it just takes a bit longer
     
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  6. Anthony lee
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    Anthony lee New member

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    Well said. That makes sense
     
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  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Glad to see things are going in a good direction. Hope it continues.
     
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  8. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    You could tell her about the constant state of arousal, you're on a continuous high. Not quite the peak high of an orgasm, but continually much higher than 'normal' and without the post orgasm low that can take days to get over. One way of putting it is it's like drinking a good wine all day, rather than having champagne once a week.

    Multiple orgasms for her and you getting (and expressing when it happens) pleasure from her orgasms, will also help her accept that you're not missing out.

    If she's receptive to a technical explanation of what's going on in your head and body, this is a good post:
    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/hormone.38934/
     
  9. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Active member

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    I think a lot of people are conditioned to believe good sex is evidenced by a male orgasm. Practicing Male Chastity is a way to remove that conditioning from the equation. When caged you learn to enjoy your partner’s pleasure and discover erotism of being denied while being kept on the edge of orgasm. You also become more open minded to alternative methods of sexual expression. I’ve learned that while I would not turn down a satisfying PIV session, I enjoy it more if my partner tells me when or if I can cum.
     
  10. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @Coffeeandcaged One of the more sensible and sane threads I've seen for a while. Good luck in your relationship and I hope it continues as you describe.
     
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  11. madams-sissysub
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    Hope it all carries on in the right direction! Good luck to you!
     
  12. Coffeeandcaged
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    Thanks everyone. We must be going in the right direction because today my Wife referred to my Chastity cage as a "Game Changer". I didn't respond or push for an explanation. I just walked away smiling.:)
     
  13. Drews
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    I think your response today was perfect. So many guys try to over explain without giving their wives an opportunity to see a benefit or figure out how it might work for them. If she asks you again if you want her to take the cage off, a good response would be, we both seem to like how I am with the cage on, I would like to leave the decision of when it comes off up to you. Make sure you always remove it if she wants it off. I made that mistake once and my wife responded that she will not accept me locking my penis from her.
     
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