Girlfriend wants to tell a friend of hers...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Sub76, Apr 23, 2019.

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  1. Sub76
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    Sub76 Member

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    Hello everybody!

    My girlfriend and I have been together for quite some time and I introduced her to all things chastity. It was a bumpy road but now everything works out really well.

    Lately, she told me about a very good friend of hers, who always seems to mention to her, what a good catch she made with me and how "well behaved" I am towards her and woman in general. Her boyfriend is more of a "bad boy" himself and his man-stuff and male friends often come first before her. When telling me about those encounters, my GF joked about that if only her friend knew about male chastity, all her problems would be gone. She said, that "one day I'll have to tell her". Well, this "one day" will probably be May 1.

    My GF told me that she had invited her friend over to dinner, since her boyfriend is away with his male friends and that she wanted to talk with her about male chastity and our arrangement. Obviously, she will tell her, that she has "first hand experience" with the topic. She says that this would serve multiple purposes:

    1. She would have someone to talk to about what we are doing. She normally is rather reserved about the topic and we are not part of any kink community. I think she really would like to have someone she trusts to talk about things.
    2. Her friend might take something from it, either for her relationship or just entertainment
    3. She likes the thought of me knowing that her friend knows ... normally she is not too much into humiliation, but this, she finds funny
    Since we agreed to not currently include other people some time ago over another idea of her, she said that I have a veto in the matter. She gave me four alternatives from which I have to choose one:

    1. Use the veto. She will not tell her friend anything
    2. Allow things to go forward but be excused for the evening to not bear the humiliation when they talk about it
    3. Be there with them, just as a normal guy, on eye level
    4. Serve the both of them for the evening - serve as in servant, not as in sex-slave ;-)
    She told me with a smirk, that she'd prefer me choosing option 4 and that she would like having me actively participating in the conversation while remaining submissive towards both of them throughout the evening.

    I am not quite sure what to make of this. When aroused, the thought of her friend knowing, maybe hinting about it when we meet or the fantasy of my GF making me serve her too when she is around is highly intoxicating ;-). But then again, I am more of a brain driven person when not (too) aroused, so the thought of someone we know and meet regularly knowing about me being locked up actually frightens me a bit.

    Any of you have experience with something like that? I am very interested in both, good but also bad experiences of anyone would share?

    Hope to get some answers :)
     
  2. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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    lucky you...............i would choose option 4 if given a choice and the chance as what you are doing is entirely consensual between the both of you and is harming no-one. what is the worst that could happen? if she chose to let someone else know as a result she would surely know she would lose your girlfriend as a trusted friend and as long as it is your girlfriends idea then i would take it for what it would be a great chance to get a thrill from doing something that really turns you both on. Lucky you
     
  3. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Bad boy isn't going to suddenly become sub boy, and if BFF is with him long term, she perhaps likes men like that and is more of a sub... or perhaps she's adrift and knowing FLRs are possible might make her ditch the bad boy and go man-shopping again.

    The risks to you are minimal. Even if the BFF gossiped, it would be easily denied by you.

    I think however there are risks for your GF: having the two of you discuss intimate couple details with BFF while it's just here might feel like it was an attempt to get her into a threesome - might wreck friendship.

    The sensible option is therefore #2, don't be there. Next sensible is #4 but with the rider that you are out of the room when intimate details are discussed.
     
  4. spider203
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    spider203 Long term member

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    What would be the icing on the cake if you made the dinner and served it in a black pants and white shirt.
     
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  5. Penney
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    Penney Long term member

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    That is such excellent advise Giles. I really liked your idea that the BFF might really prefer the bad boy type--I had missed that possibility.

    I'd still go for door #4. If you are there you won't have a million questions about it afterwards and you can support your girlfriend.

    When my wife gives me those kinda options, I remind her that I'm locked, so it's her call not mine. My wife recently had me show her sister my more intimate tattoo. I was also dressed for the whole week of her visit. I was pleased that she chose to do that. She decided not to share that I was in chastity. Maybe another time she said. I accepted her decision, but would have been happy if she had.

    I'll be curious to learn how you decide and the outcome of the meeting.
     
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  6. Fireman Sam
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    Hard to judge not knowing anybody involved. I think it‘s up to you.
    I totally understand that a KH might need someone else to talk and discuss about the topic. As I trust my wife I would have no problems with option 4 with the addition that I am also involved in the talk/discussion to bring in my perspective on things.

    I think the part that is hard to understand for women not involved into the topic is what men get out of it and that a in sexual submissive and denied man can be a dominant and caring partner at the same time. I do not know how your relationship works but there are many ways to play the game. For my wife it was important to not have a sissy. She appreciates my strong appearance in the outside world, making own decisions (also for her) and managing things in out relationship. At the same time she has the key, so from time to time she uses the power to adjust things a little bit.

    Of course I would serve both of them in the best way. As a servant.
     
  7. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Long term member

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    I would suggest option 2 but perhaps come home just before the friend leaves.

    Is her friends boyfriend the jealous type?

    Would hate to see rift develop between another couple because he misinterpreted the situation and became jealous.
     
  8. cagedjon
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    cagedjon Long term member

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    Option 4. A
    bsolutley
    Option 4. No contest. Please, if you do take that option, please share the experience. I have fantasized that scenario for many years. Would love to know what it is like in real life.
     
  9. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    Choice 3 or 4. Anything else is a wasted opportunity.

    Let's go through the options:

    Option 1 - I think you will regret it if you make her keep quiet. This probably closes this door for quite some time, and you would probably have to approach her once you change your mind (and you will change your mind). Honestly, she may end up telling anyway, just making the friend promise not to give herself away.

    Option 2 - This is only for cowards. You really want to see her reaction for yourself, don't miss it. A second hand account will never replace seeing it with your own eyes.

    Option 3 - This may be your sweet spot. If you aren't comfortable with being seen and treated as a submissive by the friend, then this is the choice. Option 4 still remains a likely future possibility.

    Option 4 - This would be amazing. Come on. Do it for us.

    I would probably try to make a hybrid between options 3 & 4 where I would serve, but also be sitting at the table as an equal.
     
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  10. LockedGreg
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    LockedGreg Active member

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    Option 2. If this is really about giving advice and not about getting your jollies, then don't engage in any humiliation, which means you're not there for any of it. Plus, you'd want the BFF to be comfortable, and if you're there, that won't happen.

    Or, veto it. That is a valid option and there is no shame in keeping your private life private.
     
  11. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Active member

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    I would go for option 3. That is the least "in your face" to the BFF, it gives her a chance to react and for you and your GF to observe the reaction.
    If the BFF is into the idea for her boyfriend then later in the evening you could offer to get both ladies something and do it as a servant. And if that goes well, your GF could start to tell you to do other things.
     
  12. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    Option 2 if you don't mind people outside knowing details of your personal life.

    Option 1 if you're worried BFF will tell her bad boy and he'll come looking for you for some reason. Also in case you don't want to drag people into your personal intimate life.

    Option 3 is a non-starter.

    Option 4 is only for wank fodder purposes. If you think you need to be there as a 'servant' then you're letting your fantasies take over. If GF prefers that option, then she's putting her horniness over her relationship with her friend.
     
  13. sandman9355
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    sandman9355 Junior Member

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    Provided you feel secure enough to not need to veto the plan, I'd suggest option 2.5. That is, don't be present for the sensitive debate, but stay at home/nearby to stay available in case the ladies wish to hear your input.

    However, as others have noted, be ready for the possibility that either your lady's friend or her boyfriend might not be into this kind of play and might even react unexpectedly negatively to the very idea. You and your lady have to take a guess, and you better be ready for the possibility your guess is wrong.
     
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  14. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    I would think very long and very hard about this, and then not do it.

    Option 4 is a terrible idea. You cannot take someone from outside the kink and expose them to that in one fell swoop.
     
  15. spider203
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    spider203 Long term member

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    What ever one you pick if you just come out with everything at once to her friend it could be information overload and scare her off.
     
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  16. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    I agree my wife has a friend that she talks to about our dynamic. I don’t know how far the conversations have gone but I do know she is interested in exploring for herself. I may consider option 4 if she was prepared for this situation, but dropping it on her cold like being described here is a non starter imo.
     
  17. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    I think a good option would be to be there when your wife's friend arrives, but immediately go out on some pretext. Then either after a pre-arranged period of time, or she could (discretely or openly) call or text you to come back. It all depends on how the friend takes it, you both have to be prepared for anything from her being uncomfortable about it, to being curious, but not ready to move to the next stage, or being enthusiastic because she already knows about these things.

    You never can tell just how someone will react, I wouldn't even know myself if I would be in any of those states if a friend made the same approach, and I'm into the particular thing.
    If in any doubt at all, go slow, one step at a time, as said, too much may just overload,. If you take it gently, one step at a time, all will enjoy the progression more, and a slow drawn out tease/reveal, over days and weeks if need be, is always more tantalising than a sudden disclosure.
     
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  18. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    Option 4 as long as you have no comtcon with her bf.
     
  19. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    Option four may be interpreted by this women as an ambush by you two. And may feel uncomfortable with the dynamic but not be willing to say anything. It could go down in her mind as a very awkward evening if she is not open minded about it.
     
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  20. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    If I was in your situation I would also go with option 4. But No one knows your relationship like you do, go with your heart. Having someone else know about your arrangement can be good for everyone. All the Best.
     
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  21. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Long term member

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    I agree that it good to include friends in our lives. I just think option 4 is a bad idea. IMO the introduction should be consensual, number 2 is the way to do that. If she wants to partake in option 4 later then have a blast.
     
  22. Wannabee
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    Wannabee Active member

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    Yes. This!
     
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  23. Sub76
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    Sub76 Member

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    Guys, thanks a lot for your inputs :)

    I have talked about it with my GF some more and we agreed, that the 2.5 option @sandman9355 proposed will be the way to go. She will meet her friend without me being there, carefully test the waters to see if the conversation goes according to plan and then tell her about us (without hinting she should do the same ;-)). That seems to be the most "comfortable" way for her. Depending on how it goes and if the friend wishes to know my opinion, I will be ready to be called in and answer all her question either that day or on another occasion.

    We don't think, that she will be appalled by any of it. She is a rather open person who knows that there is more in the world than vanilla ice, although we are not sure if any of the other flavors are her personal taste. It will be interesting to see how she reacts. I will keep you in the loop.
     
  24. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    2 for sure. As people have said, 4 seems like a bit ofa setup.
     
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  25. Carumbad
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    It would have to be option 2.

    It's perhaps easy to fall into the trap of making the situation about you, or your girlfriends horniness/amusment. But you should really leave them both to have the conversation themselves.

    I agree with other posters that it's likely the BFF chose her "bad boy" *because" he's a bad boy, not in-spite of. So it's very unlikely you're going to convert or change their relationship - that shouldn't be the intention either...

    Option 2 means you can allow BFF and your girlfriend to have a conversation, there'll be other opportunities in the future to get your kicks through the humiliation element, *if* BFF consents or shows interest to know more, then she'll ask you.
     

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