Getting started with Chastity

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by FullMoon, Jul 17, 2018.

  1. FullMoon
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    FullMoon My dick's in a cage

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    Hey guys, I'm glad I found this community. The people here seem very cool and accepting, and I feel safe being open.

    Until recently, I haven't explored a lot of my deeper sexual desires. I love restraints and being submissive, but there is still some shame attached with it I'm trying to work through. I'm just starting to explore chastity and it is still new to me. I would say I lean more toward the vanilla side of chastity, but we'll see what the path leads to. I began by looking at the NoFap community and experimenting with abstinence and quitting porn. I had a positive experience and noticed more confidence and less objectifying women. I began buying more bondage toys and restraints that turned her and I on. I came across a chastity device and tried it. One night before she unlocked me she ordered me to eat her out. I hardly ever did this, and I followed her order obediently. I gave her a certain look before going down on her that she said was the sexiest thing I've ever done. I made her cum multiple times before she agreed to let me out. I hadn't came for a week, but I had been edging myself and fantasizing all week. I was able to last a good long while before cumming... longer than her or I expected. I tied her up and had my way with her while making her scream. I had her suck my cock at the end after restraining me and I came like I've never came before... my orgasm must have lasted a full minute while I struggled in restraints and she kept sucking, almost choking on my cum. Afterwards, she and I both agreed that was the best sex we've both ever had. So I've been interested in chastity ever since. I started it to reignite me and my girlfriend's sex life since her sexdrive had decreased, and I'm interested in meeting and chatting with like minded people that I can learn from and connect with.

    I wrote a chastity contract (which I borrowed a lot from chastity forums) and it is mostly me being submissive, but since my girlfriend and I both like being submissive and dominant at times, we agreed that when she says the word "switch" in bed, I am free to completely dominate her. She is then under my control and obeys me until I cum once. Then, she is allowed to say "switch" again, and the roles are then reversed again.

    We both agreed that since I got the Holy Trainer V3 (a device I can actually wear 24/7 for long term) we should write a new contract. Since the chastity device I had was uncomfortable for any significant period of time, things kinda fazed out since I wasn't locked up most of the time. I want to create a contract and refine it to find a happy agreement that is fulfilling and great for both of us. I am also thinking about a contract that would use chastity as a tool for self improvement (gym, meditation, etc) as a requirement for release.

    I have a lot to learn and try out. I look forward to meeting and chatting with you guys!
     
  2. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    She who holds the key should hold the power. And that includes the power to say 'switch." It's a different dynamic than many of us are used to, but it's her call. Just don't be surprised if she calls "switch" less frequently as you begin to spend more time on you knees worshipping at the holy V.
     
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  3. Sarah8
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    Sarah8 My husband holds my collar and I hold his key

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    Welcome to the mansion!

    I'm looking forward to learning more about you and your partner. Your dynamic sounds very similar to my own.
     
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  4. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    Welcome. Sounds kind of how we used to be. I think there were a lot of reasons why back then.
    I no longer can lock Her up at all. I think we found out how we should be and it is great to be who
    you are.
    As @Rectrix said.
    This is a distinct possibility. Keep us updated.:+1:
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Welcome. Nice to have someone new who is looking to explore the vanilla end of our kink. We've had quite a few at the other end of the spectrum recently.

    Bot a great fan if contracts myself, but I hope you find a way that suits you both.

    Good luck
     
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  6. FullMoon
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    FullMoon My dick's in a cage

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    haha, very true. I don't think she has used it yet XD I'm still working on getting a good fitting chastity device. I ordered a holy trainer v3 standard 45mm ring and it is too big. It stays on, but the length and the ring could be smaller. Sucks, cause I will have to chaulk up another $200 getting one *__* trial and error is expensive.
     
  7. FullMoon
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    FullMoon My dick's in a cage

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    She has usually initiated when we do have sex, but loves to be controlled and say "yes sir" like a good girl ;) only cumming when I command her to and testing her ability to hold it knowing she won't and ordering her to cum at the last second after she frantically asks me if she can. I also loved being restrained and left to her control. My biggest turn on is edging. I think this dynamic has sometimes resulted in me topping from bottom... like I try to make my fantasies come true in chastity, but in reality it is about submitting to her no matter what... but like I said, once I have a device that is fitted correctly, we can really have some fun ;) We've sorta let go of the contract until then. One thing I'd like to ask is if chastity has affected your level of respect for one another or does it affect the relationship outside of sex?
     
  8. FullMoon
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    FullMoon My dick's in a cage

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    lol, well I don't mind taking this path at all and welcome whatever changes that come from it as long as we are both happy :) One thing is that I've never been this open sexually with anyone, and these changes are recent within that past couple months. I do want to open up sexually and be with someone who is accepting and interested in participating. Which is good so far. I grew up with a lot of catholic guilt... so go figure XD
     
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  9. FullMoon
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    FullMoon My dick's in a cage

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    I'm very glad to have discovered this kink, and I'm already a big fan. I experienced blue balls for the first time, prostate milking, and stuff that I had no idea my body even did... lol. It's a process that I'm really happy to go through and figure out how to make this work. If it leads to something more and I discover more things about myself, beautiful. The contract is one of the more fun parts. I think I am a lot more into it than she is... I think it has a lot to do with the SSRI she is on and how it affects her sex drive... but she has said that it turns her on to be in control. I think what was happening in our relationship before was that she felt pressured to have sex and lost confidence. With her in control she might feel safer initiating or kissing me or being affectionate knowing nothing will happen unless she says so. I'm pretty anxious to test this device to where I can completely give her the keys and be locked 24/7. Most like I will have to get another size though.
     
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  10. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    It doesn't have to be expensive. Go to aliexpress or dhgate or even amazon, and look at the inexpensive ($10-15) Chinese steel cages. Buy 3 or 4 and test them out. I found happiness with the A273-small.
     
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  11. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    Great idea. I bought some from Aliexpress, shipping a little slow but always got here. There are some that you can get different size rings for the same cage, great for sizing and not a lot of money. If you go Aliexpress make sure you look for a while. Ones you may want have very different prices depending on who is selling them.:+1: BTW we were married for 32 years before things changed, what did I miss.
     
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