Frustration boils over

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Sub_william, Jan 23, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. Sub_william
    Offline

    Sub_william Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2022
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:28 PM
    So I’ve had some online experiences with chastity off and on over the years but I’ve been neglecting that area of my life for several months and I simply can’t ignore it anymore. It’s so frustrating dealing with vanilla life when I have this raging need to be locked and owned in chastity. I have an innate need to be denied and controlled by a keyholder/Domme yet I just go on day to day not addressing this. Well no more. I have a new chastity cage arriving Tuesday and my search will begin to find a trustworthy female keyholder to fulfill my genuine need to serve and obey, and help me juggle vanilla life with chastity life. I am genuine, loyal and able and hope to find a keyholder in some capacity who appreciates these traits. This isn’t a ‘porn’ fix or some fantasy that can be fulfilled with a two minute video clip. This is real to me and I will manifest it as such in my life. Sorry for the long message but I’m frustrated and needed to vent.
     
    Milo66 and Inksters like this.
  2. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    1,473
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:28 PM
    Just one thing to consider: Maybe look for a girlfriend first, and the chastity thing second. You can be honest and up front, but there aren't many women out there hoping that someone comes along and asks them to hold a key. There are lots of women out there looking for serious commitment in a relationship.
     
  3. Sub_william
    Offline

    Sub_william Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2022
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:28 PM
    Yes, I’ve been in a few serious relationships in the past, but chastity wasn’t received well in those relationships. I would at least search within the chastity or bdsm scene if I wanted to seek a relationship with someone. I am not in the business of trying to ‘retrofit’ chastity into a vanilla relationship. Been there done that. Birds of a feather flock together and I will find my flock before seeking a serious relationship.
     
    Enchained and true42 like this.
  4. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    11,985
    Likes Received:
    4,578
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    2:28 AM
    Good luck. There's a lot of scammers out there.
     
    Sub_william likes this.
  5. Sub_william
    Offline

    Sub_william Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2022
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:28 PM
    Thanks, I’m finding that out ugh
     
  6. LockedTower
    Offline

    LockedTower Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2021
    Messages:
    215
    Likes Received:
    289
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Corporate Stooge
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Minnesota, USA
    Local Time:
    8:28 PM
    Good luck out there, I think your perspective on priorities is good and you should seek out what you really want and be forward with it.
     
    Sub_william likes this.
  7. Inksters
    Offline

    Inksters never cum alone, again

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2022
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Artist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    8:28 PM
    Hi there, I think I can weigh in here…I understand this innate need for chastity as I too have it and also understand how a female doesn’t see the value, as most “vanilla, straight” females (not all, but in my experience most) like to be dominated and fear weakness in a man. I find “weakness” mental or physical (mental weakness being the most off putting) is not attractive to most straight women. I think this is why we have a hard time bringing it up, for fear of being judged or worse, ridiculed or to have ones masculinity in question. I have always come across very masculine and Alfa but I am very in tune to my partner sexually. Being able to be dominant or submissive. As a tattooist of 25yrs I have a lot of practice cutting though the bullshit of what people say they want and what they really want and molding myself to be that. (I know I’m good, because I do well for myself doing it) Weather it be though my art or personal persona, I make the sale. That being said, I’ve only recently started to cut through my on bullshit, lol…I do believe most women want a man who can handle business make her feel secure and protected, decisive and sure but then be vulnerable and secure in bed (whatever the sexual role) even if she doesn’t love this type of man most women believe that is what they are supposed to want. I believe it is as hard and confusing for them as it is for us. I believe it takes a very in tune guy to be honest in either role. It’s my opinion pegging is easier to ask for than chastity, maybe because it’s kinky to pretend and role reversal is hot for a moment, but it’s not real day to day life, and she isn’t threatened by his “weakness” and/or her own feelings of overwhelming responsibility that she doesn’t really want. Also because the pleasure in penetration is more easily understood. As my wife and I are exploring our feelings over this we’ve sort of compared this to the characters from Game Of Thrones “Khal Diogo” (Jason Momoa) & “Daenerys Targaryen” (Emilia Clarke) breakout role for Jason Momoa, and most “vanilla” straight women swooned. Then you look at the psychology of the progression of Daenerys character from slave to Mother Of Dragons, it’s the same for real chastity in day to day life. She went from a slave, reluctantly severing, to willing participant. Then she learned how to lay it on him so good he would do anything to serve her. She went from slave to a queen and a possessor of an army and the loyalty of the strongest, fiercest man in that clan. No masculinity lost for serving his woman loyally, she wouldn’t have had him any other way. I used this with my wife and it has resonated with her and brought us the results we didn’t even know we desired.
    Sorry so long, hope someone finds value in this and good luck with your journeys.
     
    Milo66, Guest 3729 and Sexy Slave 69 like this.
  8. Junebug15
    Offline

    Junebug15 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2015
    Messages:
    4,215
    Likes Received:
    2,004
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    7:28 PM
    Best of luck
     
  9. Guest 3729
    Offline

    Guest 3729 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    2,485
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    7:28 PM
    Good explanation and example :)
     
    Inksters likes this.
  10. Guest 3729
    Offline

    Guest 3729 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    2,485
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Local Time:
    7:28 PM
    I had to laugh at myself a little reading this as I did ask my wife to peg me long before we were married and long before I asked for chastity. As you pointed out chastity was a lot harder to ask for and we’d already been together for 11 years at that point and married for 5. My wife definitely has her hard limits, I asked her to allow me to dabble in the sissy stuff but she wouldn’t have it at all. She does not want to see her man as effeminate but loves the emasculation privately between us.
     
    Inksters likes this.
  11. Inksters
    Offline

    Inksters never cum alone, again

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2022
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Artist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    8:28 PM
    Thanks and yeah…power over power is real power! I will only speak for my lady here and say she would rather own, control, and boast about having something other woman want, rather than trying to cater to a sniffly needy something, no woman wants! And I can understand this, I like nice things! ;D
     
    Guest 3729 likes this.
  12. Inksters
    Offline

    Inksters never cum alone, again

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2022
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Artist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    8:28 PM
    I agree, if you can’t be honest with her or yourself in the beginning what chance is there to start with. I feel that more “straight vanilla” women looking for commitment would welcome this if it was better understood, and it would better understood if it where presented differently
     
  13. Inksters
    Offline

    Inksters never cum alone, again

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2022
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Artist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    8:28 PM
    I agree and disagree, i feel more “straight vanilla” looking for comment would not only welcome but would want it if it where better understood from both perspectives and would be better understood if presented differently. I also introduced chastity in other relationships, and they went along with it, but weren’t sure what the point of it was and I was so horny and frustrated to articulate myself, and to selfish to see from her perspective. Now, I meet my now wife six years ago, I was honest with her from the beginning, and she bought me a cage when we where dating, but the problem was still the same…me…so recently my wife and I kinda became complacent, so I brought back the chastity only this time considering what she wanted and being honest with myself about what I wanted, beyond the kink, for us in life and I presented differently and OMG the difference has been incredible.
    Good luck and best wishes, relationships take work ;D
     
  14. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    9,045
    Likes Received:
    4,870
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:28 AM
    Good luck on your quest.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice