Frustrated ...

But not because of the chastity (necessarily).

My wife has had me locked in for two weeks now and I'm feeling a bit ansty. Earlier this morning, I hinted that I would like to fool around and she said that we would see. I brought it up again at lunch and explained that I was feeling overcome with lust for her.

She got upset and said "This is exactly why we can't get chastity to work - you are too demanding. I thought this was supposed to be about me but it's always about you. Unlike other women that are into chastity, I don't want a love slave who does everything for me and always wants to serve me. I just want to be left alone to go about my business."

I found it hard to express myself when confronted with that statement. The fantasy of chastity is, in big part, serving your woman but my wife really could give two shits about that except to make it clear that she isn't interested in it.

I'm also feeling very submissive to her so I find it hard to discuss these things without being "meek" which she cannot stand either.

Doing the best I could, I said that I was sorry for upsetting her and suggested that I tried to explain my feelings previously and, without direction from her (she is very quiet and withdrawn about relationship stuff - chastity or not), my mind led me down its own paths.

I said that I wanted to continue trying and if she would provide some guidance I would be able to get my head straight and act the way she wanted. I also told her that I'm at the point where I am starting to seriously want out so I'm doing everything I can to resist upsetting her to the point where she wants to call it quits.

She said that if we stop, I cannot ever bring it up again because she doesn't want to spend the next 50 years trying and failing to implement chastity in our lives. I asked her if she wanted to continue and she said that we are continuing.

Bottom line is she wants me to accept being locked in and not annoy her all the time with requests to do things for her (housework, sexual, anything really) and to stop talking about the chastity.

This seems like a big departure from the fantasy and I need to re-think whether I want to continue.

Your advice is welcome. Do you think she will become more "engaged" and dominant over time? Do you think she will become used to my lowered role and start taking advantage of her new situation? Or should I just say hell with it and give it up?

 

Tomorrow is the three week mark since my last orgasm. I have spent most of the time locked in the device. The longer I am in it, the more the fantasy aspects fade away and I'm left with a constant, steady longing for her - any part of her or any interaction with her.

Right now, I'm not really loving the chastity device. The horniness has been a steady companion for so long that now it's just a dull, persistent ache. With the CB6000s, it's twice as frustrating as my old CB6000 because now my penis can't even stretch out and get semi-erect. I forget what erections even feel like after only a few days of re-application of the device.

I really want out. I tried to bring it up to my wife but I couldn't find the words.

I did manage to tell her that the new device is more frustrating and her comment was "good, that's the way it's supposed to be". Lately she seems to always have this amazing smile on her face. I can't tell if she's just happy or if she's amused at my situation. I think it's a bit of both.

I've also noticed that she no longer is doing certain chores. I'm not sure if that's intentional or if she knows that I will do them in my current state of mind. Either way, I do them because it does give me happiness to think she appreciates my actions.

I feel somewhat ashamed that I want out. I'm also a bit nervous about asking her because of a conversation I had with her yesterday regarding punishment.

When she was a bit tipsy on Saturday she brought up the crop and how she really knows how to use one. I had told her at the time that I don't want that. After re-evaluating, I determined this was more of me trying to top from the bottom and not submit to her. I spoke to her yesterday about it and apologized for trying to make her feel guilty if she wanted to do it or if she felt that I needed it. She said that I shouldn't worry about it and she will do what is best for us. She did appreciate my apology though and my recognition of my incorrect behavior.

This desire to ask to be let out is really building. I almost wish she would use the crop on me to stop me from thinking release is an option.

Ugh.

 

Ugh... omg ... so since my last post, my wife and I went out to a spring gathering outdoors. The weather was quite chilly. Usually I am ok with cooler weather and prefer it to hot weather.

All of a sudden, it felt like I was being wracked / kicked in the nuts. This happened once before so I knew what it was - one of my testicles was retreating from the cold and pulled through the ring. Am I the only one that has had this happen to? Sick to my stomach.

The easy answer is to go to a smaller ring. But my skin is already red and slightly raw where the current ring sits.

Any advice? Tough it out with a smaller ring? Build up callouses? How have others handled this?

 

I guess my wife is more interested in continuing chastity than I thought. I really can't figure her out.

After the Great Testicle Escape (see post above), she gave me the key so I could get out since it wasn't completely on any more and I couldn't shove the testicle back through. I explained what happened and the pain and asked what she thought I should do and she said that I should avoid getting cold (ha, ha).

I also took that opportunity to tell her how I had been feeling and that the chastity wasn't fun any more and that I was just feeling a bit beat down and tired of it all. She said that she could imagine I was and told me that I could have the night off and put it back on in the morning. I re-stated that I was kind of worn out on chastity and was thinking we should take a break and asked what she thought of that. She said firmly "you should put the device back on in the morning".

I told her that I understood and thanked her for helping me through this weak period. She said that it's fine and she would make sure that I don't back out of our arrangement.

I apologized for questioning the situation and told her that every time she tells me to get back in, it makes it easier for me to stop questioning it because I know her answer will be "get back in the device". She said that's the plan.

So I'm back in now - using the same size ring for now and hoping the weather warms up.

 

Ugh... happened again. Right testicle decided to make a break for it and retreated past the ring.

I guess I have to go with a smaller ring. Haven't told the wife yet - am going for a run first unencumbered.

 

Thanks for the advice all - I will try a shorter spacer first.

BTW - I guess I'm totally clueless. My wife consistently sends messages now that she wants me in chastity.

I told her I popped out again and mentioned that I needed a smaller ring (at least that's what I thought until I read the above messages). She looked at me genuinely confused and said "I'm not sure why you are telling me this". I said "well, what do you think I should do?" She said "keep trying until you find the right combination to be locked in without these problems. What did you think I was going to say?"

I'm unnecessarily confusing myself apparently. All indicators are that she wants me in it. It's hard to accept at times - particularly right now as the novelty of the chastity has greatly worn off at 3 weeks and 2 days of no orgasm.

 

I have moved to the shorter spacer and the problem of accidental escape is long gone. My wife seems happier (she didn't like the idea that I could escape even involuntarily).

The shorter spacer makes it even more frustrating as I never have even semi-erections any more and it's very unnerving. When I told her, she said that was good news as it will help me stay in the right mind set.

Here's what I have to say: UGH! I want out right now!!!!!! Let me out!!!!! Please, please, please.

Sorry to vent - she has made it clear that she doesn't want to hear it any more and at times I am so frustrated I feel like climbing the walls. She has really started clamping down little by little. This is what I asked for and deep down it's what I want so I won't complain to her but it is difficult at times to accept.

 

I asked my wife this weekend if she was ok with me asking to be released from time to time and she said it was fine. I said that I noticed that every time I asked she always said "no" and she said "yes, the answer is always going to be no unless it's a medical issue. Do you have a medical issue currently?" I didn't and told her no and she replied "well then you are staying in until I decide when to let you out."

I said that there didn't seem much point in asking then if it is always going to be "no" and she laughed and said that was correct unless it was a medical emergency of some sort. I said I guess I will give up and stop asking then and she said "that's what I would like".

I guess I don't get why she didn't just tell me not to ask but, at this point, the result is the same so she gets what she would like.