Anyone who has evolved a relationship from vailla to FLR with chastity? Where the wife was vanilla but evolved to embrace the dominant role? How did yoi get started an how did you make that happen?
You gotta start with understanding your wife is making concessions to you that you aren't even aware of. You also need to understand that you idea of a FLR probably isn't her's... and none are the same. My wife would prefer me to rub her back while she fall asleep most night over me giving her two or three orgasms while she teases my cock. I am sure there are things you would like to see you do... let her be honest and do them. You are going to find a FLR with your wife is different and possibly the "vanilla life" is what she wants. If that is what she wants, she made the call and it is female lead.
To repeat what is my mantra on many, many threads, the starting point is a conversation. You need to decide whether this is something you both want and, if it is, work out how to make it work so that both of you get something out of it. That can't happen by itself. You need to talk it through. Good luck
So just throwing this out there. But does she take control already? there are certain traits in your wife to look for. You may already be in a FLR and just don't realize it. That's how it went for me and my hubs. I already made most decisions. So, it was easier for me to step into that role If not, then maybe get her into something that will spark the dom side of her, figure out what it is. then go with it. for me it was pegging. When i figured out there was a spot there....for him......I was all for it. Kinda like us ladies have certain spots that get hit. It was uplifting for me to find another way to get him off he hadn't experienced with anyone before.
My Vanilla restarted chastity after our discussions about her not wanting me close because she did not trust me about wanting more tha a cuddle or massage for her. She felt I expected something in return, she owed it to me. Despite my promises. I asked what could I do to prove myself to be trusted in her eyes. We discussed our past play with chastity among other things. She surprised me at Xmas with 3 different cages. We have been working on this and additional cages have been bought since originals did not properly fit. I just received our cherry keeper order with 3 different cages sizes. She has pushed me to find smaller cages. I am now wearing the CK micro. She really likes it the best. I have been in it all day and sleeping in it tonight. She is slowly increasing her activity around this . Still leaving keys in medicine cabinet shelf. I do ask permission to access and she no longer tells me I don't need to ask. We are progressing at her pace and I feel that and communication is a priority.
it sounds like you are doing a great job. ask for the keys as a reminder calling her more by her sir-name you pick too could help. keep us updated and enjoy the micro
She gets yes Mam and no mam. Asked if she would like a specific name or address to her . She is not ready for that so stick with her nickname. She did have me start addressing the ladies at the boutique we use as Ms Deb and Ms Patti for proper respect for their help with my fittings. She may change her mind for herself in the future.
Leading up to Valentines day, I tried showing my wife, FLR. I've been locked in Chastity for a short while now but I wanted to give her something special. I honestly was enjoying doing many things for her. Valentines evening she accused me of having an ulterior motive. which led me to not doing anything for her the next day! She said that I wanted something sexual in return for my actions. That was definitely not the case! The next morning, the 16th, I started doing things for her again and we'll see where that leads us. Being on disability due to 4 strokes during the pandemic has me bored out of my head, and my Father had a stroke back in October along with other medical problems has been challenging. My, brother who is the same age as my wife, and went to High School together, gave me a good laugh yesterday! We went over so I could help him bathe my dad, suddenly blurted out, to my wife, did you ever blow bubbles when you were younger? She said yes. Then my brother asked, how did he taste?... I busted out laughing, it took my wife a minute to figure out what was so funny, and then she being the strongly opinionated girl she has become, just delivered her look of disgust. After her trashing my entire weekend of trying to be nice, I felt the Men scored a point on that one. I even added in we gave him a bath with Mister Bubbles! So much for FLR!
[QUOTE = "iso-me, post: 442793, member: 70066"] ¿Alguien que haya desarrollado una relación de vailla a FLR con castidad? ¿Dónde la esposa era vainilla pero evolucionó para adoptar el papel dominante? ¿Cómo empezaste y cómo hiciste que eso sucediera? [/ QUOTE] Mi esposa y yo tomamos ese camino, no es fácil y los dos todavía aprendemos. Yo era quien tenía las cosas claras y lo que yo quería, ella estaba adoptando algunas cosas, otras no. En este momento, tenemos una relación que no es vainilla, pero tampoco es femdom 24/7. Llevo una jaula para el pene, pero ella no "aprovecha" esa circunstancia como me gustaría. PERO RESPONDO TU PREGUNTA Comenzamos con mis sugerencias de estar atada a tener sexo, eso le gustó. Poco a poco fui introduciéndolo en las prácticas de bdsm. No es difícil introducir juegos de bondage durante el coito, pero un día me presenté con una jaula para pollas. Al principio era como un juego, pero empezamos a enviarnos mensajes de texto a través de whatsapp (ella es muy tímida y no puede abrirse para charlar sobre ciertos temas, pero whatsapp es más fácil). Yo suelo enviarle fotos con frases de femdom con castidad y ella me responde y eso le da ideas. Desafortunadamente para mí, hay muy pocas ideas que toma, pero hay que ir paso a paso, despacio y ver qué la satisface.
Actually we stumbled into a FLR. When my wife and I was dating I told her about my panty fetish. She took me to VS and got me a few pairs. After we got married, I had a stressful job. So she took over the daily finances, soon most of the everyday decisions. And as they say the rest is history.
Might add, once the vanilla wife/GF tries male chastity and sees the wonderful outcome from it, they're never going back to the good old days of male macho BS. My wife has said 100's of times we're never going back. She also said she wished she would have known about male chastity many years ago. We have a WLM, D/s Like Tim said, the rest is history.
I can only feel for your journey, I have been so so lucky as my madam and I have been in a bdsm life style almost since we first met, and a chastity one not long after. Good luck and all the best on your progression!