From feminism to chastity

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  1. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Hi all, I will start here my history and progression.

    I was a shy guy who met a girl one year older 30 year ago, none of us new nothing about love and sex and we were both virgin when we met.

    At first our sexual relation was based in PIV as much as we can an where ever it was possible and all happy of it.
    But I wanted more and more and try plenty of things. I try men and discover that to be pegged was so largely best than PIV. Hard to do in real marital life and complicated to hide. She discover but do not protest.
    This lead to swing and meet some terrible girls, nymphomaniac ones that endanger our couple.
    The result was a lot of short PIV with a little satisfaction. Just the feeling of being so in power of the situation and all around me. My wife follow because she has no choice and no revenue.
    I abuse of it and then realize what I was doing, I wish not quit her so I go to see what was possible, I search on feminist things like women respect, abuse and so.

    My conclusion was that the ordinary male PIV was nothing but an accepted kind of rape that women support.
    After 25 years of marriage she told me that she loves me but have never enjoy it and have never an orgasm, neither with me neither with other men when swinging.

    Sex was a pain.

    So My work began here, I found text on chastity and the ones that says that with this, women are free of fear and more available for sex. Of course it was not about the cage and 5 years ago.
    Las year I found this forum and lurk to may things. this changed my mind.

    I do plenty of house chore (she still does many too)
    I began in march 2017 the chastity thing by sending a mail, she was not really OK and very sceptic.

    I apply the methods I see and she rapidly understood some. In august she only does the ruined orgasm and I no longer cum in her.
    She learn to have her joy as she still enjoy PIV as a small pleasure but not an orgasmic one.

    I learned to please her clit correctly and do love slowly, as she likes and not like I was doing before, obeisant to her orders.

    Rapidly a magic wand came and do the job, she can have 10 orgasm in a row, but not with my dick. So I helped her with stories and role-playing, imagining that I am another man, the one of her fantasy. She never made love with me again, I have to be this man I invented to suits her fantasy and she has orgasm with him since (it's a kind of red demon, gentle and manly, her fictional bull).

    I count the number of orgasm she has and mine, and PIV. Basicaly I have no orgasm since a year, few ruined that I have to do myself.
    Most of the time I get them when I am outside her pussy and she has her.
    I transfer my pleasure to her pleasure, when she cum, I cum too.
    Since October (NOctoker) I rarely cum or masturbate, just before I do it twice a day to be fully dry. She changed on this, now she keeps me full most of the time.

    I feel like to explode.

    Our PIV are become more and more rare and her orgasm are more frequent. I do when she wants only, never asking or harassing for sex (at least trying to).

    I have counter the PIV and her orgasm since last year (I love statistics).

    Jan 17
    PIV: 9
    her: 0
    March when I began
    PIV 15
    her 1
    pegg 1

    an average of 8 to 15 per month until December.
    for her at least 1 to 2 orgasm per month.

    She goes a lot deeper recently and in December she push a lot more in the work I have to do and makes me wake up soon for the kids instead of her, more house chores, shopping, cooking (all meal, all days).
    In january I have
    PIV : 4
    Her 1

    february
    PIV 4
    Her 3
    Notice that for the PIV it's only on her initiative.
    I see the switch, from one PIV every two day to one PIV a week, same for the orgasm, they raise a lot and still rare but she apparently love them a lot more than a PIV.

    I guess she will find quite quickly that the chastity cage, that she does not find useful at this point, is a marvelous tool.
    She as the locks ready and the cage are in the bedroom available at all moment.

    Let's see how it evolve and when she will lock me a little more. She just try for 3 days and time to time a few hours.

    She as her period today, she is always in a bad mood that days. Let's see what will happen.
    Especially we have next week and old friend from our swinger youth. We still sexually close with him. I will check how many PIV he has and I have.
     
  2. sandman9355
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    sandman9355 Junior Member

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    I'll admit I know this is going to sound nitpicky to some, but there's one thing in your post that really makes me grit my teeth and that's describing ordinary PIV sex as rape. What the ^#$% is wrong with such guys?

    There's a huge difference between maybe unpleasant but consensual PIV sex and actual rape. I know, some women get little or no pleasure from it. But unless someone's actually forcing them to engage in PIV sex, whatever form such coercion takes, calling a voluntary act rape is nothing but misogyny. This is a perfect example of why so many people consider most so-called third wave feminists out of touch with reality.

    I'd guess that most men who are into chastity love pleasuring their partners. Giving pleasure orally while locked in chastity makes such men very happy. They receive very little physical pleasure from the act, most men never reach an orgasm from giving oral sex, but they enjoy making their partners happy anyway. Would you say that they're being raped when they're being "used" that way? Because their situation is quite similar to that of a woman who doesn't get much pleasure from PIV sex but likes it anyway because she likes making her male partner happy.
     
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  3. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I think rape is a pretty strong word, and I am hoping it had something to do with English not being his native language.

    I can relate however with unwanted or undesired consensual acts. Yes I know it wasn't rape, and I know she is the one that is trying to get me to orgasm, but I have looked down into disinterested eyes, hoping this just ends, and even heard can you please hurry. I don't know about everyone else, as soon as I looked down and saw that, or heard her say that, i'm pretty much over anything sexual. She was trying to be nice and let me cum. It had either been a long time and she thought I needed it, or she had already had hers and knew I wasn't going to add anything to her pleasure and it was just me poking around. Either way, it was obvious she wasn't into it and it was an immediate deal breaker for me and I ended up stopping. That is a long way from actual rape, and it takes away from the awfulness of the reality that many have endured.
     
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  4. sandman9355
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    sandman9355 Junior Member

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    I would be happy to find out this was a matter of English not being his native language. However, I've seen so many similar posts and heard similar words so many times that I don't expect that to be the case. Truth is, I wouldn't even reply to that post if I wasn't fed up with such nonsense being repeated so often.

    I guess not many men would doubt your experience, Nicoftime. Most of us do know what is like to find out that we're only being allowed to make love to our partner because she wants to make us happy. Sometimes we even have ourselves to blame, like when we've spent so much time pleasuring her orally that she's worn out for the evening, but the actual reason doesn't matter. So I'd say you're spot on both when you say that some consensual acts are unpleasant for the woman who allows them to continue anyway and when you say that finding out that that's happening is a turn-off for the man.

    However, consensual sex being less than perfect, even consensual sex becoming so bad you stop instead of trying to continue, is something that happens in real life. And trying to convince people that ordinary PIV sex is rape is going to help neither women nor men.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    I think the OP has clearly used Babelfish or similar for his post, so any wording is only ever to be taken as approximate. I found this quite a tender, if challenging account of a relationship.
     
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  6. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Well a rape as a definiton : http://www.dictionary.com/browse/rape

    Basically my wife was used to let me use her body, she does not really wants but she says nothing to avoid me asking a lot, she don't want either to send me to prison.

    The word may be to hard but it is the definition, many PIV are not consent by women and she explains me that many of her female friends do the same because it it shorter and they are tired of fighting.
    It is the quite common things that we has stopped in our couple. maybe for some of us you have a fine respect and a wife that wished to makes PIV a lot but mine was not the case, not always.
    This also mean that I do not makes violence and so to do PIV, at least not physic. This does not mean that when I solicited her she always refuse, most of time she loves it also but time to time she wish not and let me do.

    A PIV requested by a female is something else, now she is the one who request relations and me who waits.
    I wish it was more clear, of courses encaged from long time are already highly respectful of the women's right and desire. it it was I am going to as we do since a few months.
     
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  7. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Sorry if I chocked you, that was not the meaning.
     
  8. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    let's move to another point,
    tomorow I will see an old friend of my wife that come to home.
    He is divorced from a FLR and live far but we see him for a week one a year since his divorce. She no longer loves it but in past she was in love with him as with me and when I was on mission for my work, away the full week he was the one who takes care of her in her bed.

    Well she likes him but he also get older, fatter, lazier and she tend to not support him time to time.
    I was used to be cuckhold with him and it is also with him that I discover that I love also sex with men. My wife loves watching us.
    Also he is not gay so he is the bull.

    It will be a test to see if I am well submissed to my wife desires.
     
  9. GeorgeCS
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    @Kylara
    Calling consensual PIV “rape” is insulting and offensive to any woman who has actually been raped. Stop this nonsense and move on.

    @sandman9355
    I have also heard many third-wave feminists spout this rhetoric, and it just discredits modern feminism even further.
    And yes, by this standard plenty of men here are being raped, since they are just putting up with things they don’t necessarily enjoy (or even things that frustrate and cause pain) just to please their “mistresses”. That is how ludicrous this rhetoric is, as long as it's consensual these men (and women) are responsible for what they do.

    @Nicoftime
    There is a big difference between being disinterested and actively disliking it.
    I don’t derive any real pleasure from giving cunnilingus, foot rubs, or doing the multiple chores I do for my GF, but I know she enjoys these things, so I do it for her. If that’s what your wife was doing, then she was just being a considerate partner, and you shouldn’t feel any guilty by letting her do this to you, no more than my GF should feel guilty when I spend hours on end pleasuring her without cumming myself, or than your wife should feel guilty when you do things for her you don't necessarily enjoy.

    Now of course, if she was actively disliking it, then it’s a problem. If she is putting up with actual discomfort, then it's not something you should pursue, just as she should not pursue anything that causes you discomfort, partners are supposed to care for each other. What you need to do is figure out what that means for the compatibility of your relationship on the long term.
     
  10. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Thanks for your comments, I should be more moderate in my termes.
     
  11. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    my wife was shy and dare not getting into it a lot so I do a method to help her to comunicate what she desire.
    these are cards that helps her, she give me one in the morning or evening on my desk and I do what is on.
    of course I have no rights to challenge it in any way.
    no cards means that I am free for my classic dailly work, the card is just an extra for what I forget or what shge wants at the moment.
    They are based on what we like, I can edit them end redo some if needed. tell me your impressions.

    https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7envn5ao10dy4xq/AADDTZiTSp8cNSw_53whjKIka?dl=0
     
  12. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    So, some news after some time.
    The threesome goes without anything my wife was not interested.

    but there are some evolution, she accept to put my cage on and see it as a good thing for her.
    Whe had sex and she loves the way I do without my dick and with a disldo, she asks me a bigger dildo than my cock, a one that fits on it.
    Also she caged me, firt time from her spontaneously. It's now 2 days since I am caged. She is getting into it slowlt but surely. Also the disldo I baught will be my birthday present, a device for her pleasure. I thinks she get the thing.

    So now I am at her will waiting for order and news. She stays a lot vanilla otherwise.
     
  13. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    So, I goes on this journal to see my progress since the begginning of April.
    My wife has no interest in my sex anymore, she is now interest in her orgasm rather than classic sex and the sex we had are without cumming. No orgasm for me, also Edging is far more better.
    She invest in an hollow dildo, we can PIV with, it's larger than my sex and she like it, I also feel nothing with. She like it as it can last for two hours.

    Since a few days things has changed she agree to let me in cage and stop to cum.
    I have been for 10 day in cage (with few technical release) and 11 days withour orgasm. Fell like I am exploding.
    Let's see if I can hold 14 days.
     
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  14. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    11th day in cage, I go to a slightly smaller one tonight, the HT2 (or chineese clone) I put a smaller ring on it.
    It's horrible as I feel horny, every touch of my wife push an erection for no reason, even not a sexual tease, just a look or when she puts her hand on my chest.
    She like me to lie in the bed on the back every evening and she is near me, her head on my chest and her hand on it too. She loves this position, she found it so romantic.
    On my side I feel so hard.....

    So the 11th night has been very very hard, look like my mind will explode. she remove the cage for the bigger ring this morning, lot more confortable, for the wash up, I had a terrible erection.
    It look like I have lost 1/3rd of my erected size now, also, even in erection I succeed to put the ring, it's so easy to break an erection by pushing back the blood to the body. Like if I can squeeze my dick to a such small thing.

    So I still feel like my dick and head will explode and I go for the day locked.

    I also printer a 3D cage, let's see what does it is worth.
     
  15. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    So, the works has been work and now my wife seems to be more in the game, she now feel that the PIV is better with a dildo that I wear and of course I feel nothing during sex.

    She also goes into orgasm has she never has before, I see her now saying "no" without hesitation and be sure of what she does not want or want.
    In past (last month) she still hesitate a lot and ask as not to bother me, now she is in charge and decide more for me.

    She is not a fan of the cage and I am still part time locked but I beat my record of 22 days without realease. And curiously, even if I feel full and aroused all time I don't want to be realeased yet. I guess I have pass the turning point, no idea how many time I will stand. It's a will test and it is like some kind of drug of feeling me full, ready to explode.
     
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  16. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    So some news after a hard summer where my FLR has improuved.

    She goes to holiday for 2 weeks letting me alone and in holiday to work and clean the house all the time she was not here. After this she decide of the time shedule and now I takes care of my daughter for the morning when she need to go to school. Something she was handling as we need to wake up early for this.

    Since this I am on chastity, I succeed to reach my 17th day, I feel terribly horny and full.
    Some one told me that after 15 days it all goes well and the feeling of being empty is gone, I don't see it, I feel like if they are to explode.
    Se also asks massage every day. My day is now well organised, morning, the children than go to work, when back at 18h massage for 1h, cooking for 1h, free at 8pm for other house stuff and some of my personnal stuff (like preparing work things). Still have free time at least but all must be ready for her.

    She now feel very well in this type of relation, and even if she does not look dominant she has now a stric advice on what she wants. 2 years ago she never knew and I was able to do whatever I want with a little confusing chat. A lot of progress so far.
     
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  17. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    It sounds like you have made tremendous improvement @Kylara
     
  18. Joey love
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    Joey love Long term member

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  19. Joey love
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    Joey love Long term member

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    I’m st 3 weeks and there has not been any drop
    Matter of fact I think the opposite. I feel very “full” as well although I know that’s not how it works
     
  20. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Well, thanks, I don't know if it works like this but I have no drops either, my wife tease me a little every day. Actually she asks for a massage every day, a full one, so it is hard as I get hard during it.

    Just feeling full, like if I was about to see my nuts explode.
     
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  21. Joey love
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    Joey love Long term member

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    I love that feeling
     
  22. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    Some news,

    My wife is going on holiday again, she already did it last summer while I was working and now again.

    She is off for 2 weeks in Paris at her brother's home and let me with all the houses tasks.

    I will have to wake up child, clean the house at the same time. yesterday I do some extra work (fixing computers) I give her the money I earn, it will be for her to use it.
    While she spend it and have good time I will clean the house. She left me the laundry full and a big mess all around to sort and scrub.


    She is a little shy and in past she was very submissive, she never dares totally and feel guilty in all. She still in that mood a lot. This year it is the second time she goes on holiday alone, free of her movement and any male presence like mine. Free of any guilt sentiment.

    I also told her she can have sex with who she wants there. She already had sex affairs in the past and she has stopped since. I told her that I approved all the relation that she can have and will have no complains if she finds any male that turn her on.

    I would enjoy that she has, it will mark her as a new step since we began year and half ago about the sexual freedom of her and our FLR. She has embraced some aspects but not all. A big work for me too but for sex I know I can handle it has it happens already in past. Her past lovers were and still good friends who also anal me too. He is living far from us now.


    Since we began, she asks less and demands more, a lot more.
    Still a lot of work to do to succeed in our FLR, but now she dares to go into holiday without me and this makes her happy.
    I will be chaste all that period of, course, 2 weeks of chastity in a metal cage. Fell comfortable with this idea. I will also femininely clothed as part of my home cloths are women’s now.


    I will measure the progress that she will made from her past life, she now practice the sex for her, ruined orgasm, decide of her pleasure but is shy when it comes to other men that she desire.

    In past years were she was not happy for her life and sex life, now she don’t want to go back for any reasons. Making the step will be a good idea. For me it will be the sign that she decides, she own her pussy totally and it’s her who decide who goes in. For info, she loves PIV a lot.

    So a step that show that my work to give her back her freedom is working.
     
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  23. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    I know many on here decry the comparison of penile penetration to rape, but during one of our early conversations in our chastity adventure that was the exact word my wife used to describe how she felt about penetrative intercourse. It wasn’t about force or violence, I have never been violent or forceful with her. It’s just so very awful for her. She felt like it was consensual rape, as she put it. She allowed me to “rape” her because she loved me and wanted me to be happy, but was miserable and hated it every second.

    Although I always knew she didn’t particularly enjoy it, she hid the true extent of her suffering from me all of those years until we started exploring male chastity. Then she slowly started opening up about how she really felt. She felt safe finally to tell me that she hates having anything in her and that she also hates the feeling and smell of my seamen.

    I completely understand the original poster’s reference to rape. Maybe rape isn’t quite the best way to describe his wife’s sexual experience with him in the past, but it is probably the closest word she can find to describe it.
     
    MRS.Lilith, Consensus and Kylara like this.
  24. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

    Joined:
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    Whoo someone who understand me.

    She found that the intercourse where legal rape, patriarcal domination and an obligation to keep me at home and loyal...

    But she was not enjoying it at all. Since I come to FLR, please her more than me, had PIV on her wish only she enjoys it a lot. She now experience orgasms, pleasure and have an ardent desire for sex.

    She has became an hotwife of something near and she loves me a lot more than ever.

    The cage is a way to pass from Patriarcal domination to a more genuine couple relation. We are more equal and she now thinks that she is a lot better with me than without.

    On my side I am now docile and obediant, attentive to her desire. I am still the same in other things, same at work, I still have hobbies, friends and so.

    The difference is now at home I take care of childs, her, our home. I see how selfish I was before.
    Now I feel happy when she orgasm, I feel her orgasm as part of mine. When she is with an other man I feel proud of her, proud to have such a sexy hotwife that men desire and a girl who has choose me for every day's life.

    I do not feel ashamed of what I have became and being treated of sissy, gay, feminised, and other slang words no longer affect me in time. Proud of her, proud to serve her, proud to protect her.

    Nothings still perfect and we have a lot to do to goes on. I still work on feminizing my mind to something androgenous (my personal and her goal).

    I am still a man who takes care of her, her need, her pleasure. At her service in life.
     
    Rectrix, tiruh811 and tegelad like this.
  25. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

    Joined:
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    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Belgium, Brussels
    Local Time:
    11:38 AM
    Now my KH is on the forum, she is here to be on her own and to have helps from other KH.
    Now it is no longer into my hand to help her to set up the FLR.
    she still have problems to afirm hersef and asks for what she wants. I may be also not to hurry to push her into domain I am happy to still be free, but now she will have help of more dominant women that led her to a real FLR and a more dominent and afirmative woman. What she is not now.
     
    Rectrix likes this.
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