Found my boyfriends device by accident

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by rose_93, May 30, 2020.

  1. Mrloched
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    Mrloched Long term member

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    I wouldn't talk to your boyfriend yet. Figure out how u feel about it. and if you like it give him him a fantasy night he will rember for the rest of his life. There's plenty of time to have the talk afterwards, but only one chance to have some fun without him knowing what you know.
     
  2. LockedM
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    LockedM Member

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    Lol. this post is 100% bullshit
     
  3. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    I would pursue verification
     
  4. Blue00
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    Blue00 Member

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    1) If it was truly accidentally found, then ask him about it
    2) Keep in mind that he may be ashamed or embarrassed about his desires.

    His response may be tainted by that fact. Getting him to honestly talk about it may be difficult. Offering your acceptance of his desires is key. Of course, accepting his desire does not mean you need to execute on any fantasies he has built around those desires.

    Good luck.
     
  5. LockedM
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    LockedM Member

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    For fuck sakes, this is BS. Stop replying. What kind of girl who knows nothing about chastity does:
    A) know what a fucking chastity device is in the first place
    B) knows terms like "keyholder"
    C) 'moves in with' "her" boyfriend during a pandemic
    D) says they're "Female" <---what woman would actually say that?
    E) has a fucking boyfriend of 3 years and doesn't know they're into chastity whatsoever

    give me a fucking break...
     
  6. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Amen!!!
     
  7. Newcat
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    Newcat New member

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    My husband came to bed and told me that he was wearing a chastity cage. I was surprised and a bit taken aback. It has been five years now. I only recently started to properly engage as his keyholder. I am starting to learn the power it brings and I'm understanding now that it brings with it many positives to our relationship. He is happier, I'm happier, we are happier. It has been a slow road to arrive here and now I believe his chastity is now permanent. Be kind and understanding, it might be unusual but the benefits are substantial.
     
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  8. rose_93
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    rose_93 New member

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    Hi again everyone! First of all I just wanted to thank you for your support and advice I’m extremely overwhelmed with the response and how welcoming your community is! I just wanted to address a couple of comments. The reason why I referred to myself as “female” is because that’s what felt most natural. I know some of you might be wandering how I found this site or how I knew what I was looking at so basically I’m not 100% unfamiliar I kind of recognised what it was (the shape is a good giveaway) and did some bdsm related research which provided me with a name. I’m curious and open minded so decided to reach out to people who know what they’re talking about instead of reading a shitty article. I just typed in “male chastity forum” and yours came up I know it sounds silly but go easy on me I have no clue what I’m doing haha. I’ve been reading threads on this forum for a couple of days to familiarise myself with it before posting, that’s how I knew the term “key holder” what I meant is I’d like to hear women’s opinion as they’re more likely to have experienced something similar. Please forgive me if none of this is making any sense I’m very anxious about the whole situation because I feel like I’ve been hiding a secret from the bf. I want to gather as much info before I try talking to him.
     
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  9. rose_93
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    rose_93 New member

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    How do I do that?
     
  10. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Contact @L-u-c-y she will walk you through.
     
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  11. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    The process is pretty ingenious. It allows conformation of gender without sacrificing privacy. Afterwards your username will show with Verified Female. I am impressed with how you are approaching the situation you have found yourself in. Good luck and welcome to the Mansion
     
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  12. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    I meant to add, just click on @L-u-c-y and hit 'Start Conversation'
     
  13. Mrloched
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    Mrloched Long term member

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    I hope if this person does prove to be genuine you will offer a sincere apology for the welcome she received.
    Whilst it's perfectly possible you are right. I'd rather have 10 people get away with posting bs than have 1 genuine member turned off by this kind of response.
     
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  14. chastesoon
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    chastesoon Senior Member

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    I think it’s commendable that you are doing some research before having a discussion with your boyfriend! At least you don’t seem turned off by the idea. Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a lucky man! I wish you well with your discussion with him! Please let us know how this works out!
     
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  15. Rider9
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    Rider9 Locked4her

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    So... Here is what you could do.

    Tease him one evening, then tie him up and blindfold him. Then lock that chastity cage where it belongs.
    After that untie him and explain to him how you find it, that you like it. And that it is never coming off.

    Then let us all know how every mans (here) fantasy looks in real life :)
     
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  16. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I'll drop in here with some notes of caution:

    There are at least two different chastity styles. The most visible - call it Keyholder Style - is all about the control, the teasing the edging. However, for some men - including me - it's more of a body modification, and our relationship to it is perhaps more ambivalent. It may also be tied in with deeper submissive needs, or not.

    The key distinction is whether or not the device routinely comes off for sex. So, setting up a mindblowing experience for him is not assured.

    Also, men are often uncomfortable admitting to "unmanly" desires, and some people are really not comfortable communicating about sex anyway, so unless open discussion is his already his style, this may be a harder conversation than people seem to imply. All that said; most fetishists are relieved to finally "come out".

    My advice, for what it's worth, is to try to go with the flow of how your relationship already works. Think about how he relates to his orgasm and yours and imagine how a chastity device might fit into that.

    As important - perhaps more important - what does it mean to you? What can you get out of it? Do you want to control his orgasm, playfully use it as leverage? Is the idea of him simply not being able to come amusing? Do you want a chaste slave for an evening?

    Once you've built up a picture, then you should totally speak to him. Unless he's a talker, keep it short, positive and with a clear outcome. For example, "I discovered your chastity device when I was unpacking. I'm intrigued... would you like to wear it for me tonight?" (Being concrete is really important; "sometime" never comes.)
     
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  17. spider203
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    spider203 Long term member

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    I know you got plenty of advice what to do, but here goes my advice that is talk to him he might have bought it out of curiosity and might not have any interest in it, but tell him you want to try It and see where it goes. And remember there is no hard rule when it comes to sexual fantasies just what will bring two people close together.
     
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  18. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    What kind of chastity device - a cheap plastic one? Most readily available quality cages are not that cheap and your BF's investment may tell you of his feelings about it.
     
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  19. slimswitch
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    slimswitch Active member

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    The steel cage I'm wearing right now was $12 - I think you'd need to be pretty experienced to tell the expensive devices from the cheap ones!

    Also this hardly needs saying, but of course don't even consider any of the wild fantasies about springing the device on him or anything. Here in reality, you will want to start with an open and honest conversation about what your feelings are, what your expectations are and what you want out of all this.
     
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  20. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    I haven't thought it through completely, but I think that you probably need to discuss this with him, but only if you are interested in playing with him.

    If you are interested or open to playing the roll of keyholder, bring up the idea of chastity casually without disclosing that you found his cage. This gives him a chance to open up to you without putting him on the spot. You can bring it up like you came across some article and "have you ever heard of this before?" and go with the flow after that. If he says something negative, don't immediately agree with it, because he may just be scared to open up. Maybe even say that you'd like to lock him up in a teasing way just to gage his reaction.

    If you aren't into it, leave it alone. No need to shame him.
     
  21. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    Of course, if he opens up to you and you end up locking him up, you should immediately discuss possible punishment for keeping it a secret, lol.
     
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  22. Arti_Rao
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    Arti_Rao Long term member

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    I personally feel without offence to anyone,. It's simple ..
    1. Ask him directly if he interested in using it.or.
    2. Leave it there leaving him room to use it himself and wait for hint
     
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  23. Slave to Wife
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    Slave to Wife Nobody Important

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    I say get him all hot and bothered with your female body. Then tie him to the bed. Then give him some corporal punishment. Talk about how you need a boyfriend who obeys you. Get him into subspace. Then put an ice pack on his genitals to reduce his stiffy. Then lock him into the chastity device and tell him how fucked he is and how he will be your bitch for life!

    (OK, don't do that in real life, but it is a sexy fantasy reply to your question.)
     
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  24. locked2serve
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    locked2serve Active member

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    As My relationship with M migrated more into an FLR chastity relationship we have become more and more happy. This lifestyle has required us both to grow and stretch ourselves. It has built intimacy and harmony in our relationship. I've never been so fulfilled and happy.

    M has found that she enjoys and appreciates the benefits of this arrangement and so do I. You might be very surprised by the good things that can come out of it. Things you never expected or considered.

    I strongly encourage you or anyone who is considering the lifestyle of FLR or chastity to study this site. It is one of the better resources and has a lot of genuinely friendly and supportive people. Remember that you can try things and that doesn't mean you have to do it forever.

    Finally, one of the things I feel makes this work for M and I is the complete respect and honesty we have and the deep love we share for each other. I find being honest is best and I entered this relationship by confessing my feelings to M because I didnt want to live in the shadows fearing rejection or being unfulfilled. It started a conversation and a journey that makes me the happiest boy ever.
     
  25. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    Everyone here is coming at the bit to have you tease him and lock him... but I'm curious. How do you feel about all of this? Is it interesting to you? How do you want chastity to fit into your relationship? What was your first reaction when you realized what it was? Are you ok with asking him to wear it? That would make it formal. Are you ok with making him wear it during intimTe times without letting him out? Have you ever heard of a Female Led Relationship. If you are interested, how do you feel about talking about it all the time? Thats what he's going to do. I'm sure that I can come up with a million more questions, but I'm more interested in you than his reaction.
     
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