Found a interesting "how to" story

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  1. mrspebdy

    mrspebdy Junior Member

    Oct 12, 2008
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    Title: Femme Your Hubby - Installment #1

    Author: A. K. Remenko

    Part I. Introduction

    A. It is presumed that the reader has some interest in pursuing
    the feminization of her husband (or male "significant other" the
    terms being used interchangeably here) and is desirous of
    obtaining some insight into the process. What is presented is a
    combination of personal experience and the input of a number of
    persons who have had such experience. It does not purport to be
    the definitive work on the subject as others may have experience
    or methods not covered here or those that conflict.

    B. What motivations are there for pursuing this course of action?
    Some women do it for revenge; they may discover their husband has
    been unfaithful or they discover he has been in fact crossdressing
    for some time and has attempted to conceal the fact (rarely
    successful indefinitely). Some are at the limit of their patience
    with a macho, sexist attitude. "Golf widows" or "sports widows" or
    those with husbands afflicted by other distasteful attributes also
    come to mind. At the other end of the scale, some wives perceive
    (generally rightly) that their husbands WANT them to do it. The
    "kinkier" aspects of human sexuality motivate some wives. Last,
    but not least, some do it just because it's so much gosh darned
    fun. The benefits to be derived vary and are discussed later.

    C. Who can accomplish it? It can be done by, quite literally, any
    woman who is committed to getting it done AND who masters the
    necessary techniques. While the task may seem daunting at first,
    experience has shown that failure is a rare commodity indeed,
    success being measured by the woman achieving HER goals as regards
    the level of feminization and social aspects of the subject. Many
    women ask, "How far can I go?" and the answer is generally "As far
    as you'd like" given unalterable constraints. It must be
    understood that certain attributes of the subject are a limiting
    factor. Generally younger, less imposing physical specimens can be
    made far more feminine in appearance. The sooner one starts the
    more esthetically pleasing the results, given that reasonable
    goals are established.

    D. Where does one start? This work presumes that the subject is
    currently NOT a crossdresser (or transvestite or transsexual or
    transgendered). A woman who DOES have a subject that possesses
    these traits has the so-called "leg up" on the process and should
    simply select a point in the process that they deem comparable to
    the subject's present status and proceed from there.

    E. Who is a suitable subject? At one time the author's view was
    that since (depending on one's source) something on the order of
    10% (or more?) of the male population was to some extent TG active
    (TG = transgendered, used here to encompass CD, TV, TS) the other
    90% of the population not actively involved was "immune." This is
    clearly NOT, repeat NOT the case. While some are highly
    predisposed and find TG activity irresistible, those that are not
    active cannot be presumed to have "zero predisposition". In other
    words, some are past the threshold of activity while others are
    varying distances from that threshold. The greater the distance,
    the longer (and frequently more arduous) the task. A good analogy
    might be pushing a laden snow sled to the top of a hill in order
    to have it coast down the far side. The active TG is analogous to
    a sled perched at the top of the hill where a gentle push sends it
    sliding effortlessly down the slope. The most difficult subject is
    analogous to a heavily laden sled at the bottom of the hill. To
    move the sled to the top of the hill directly may be impossible.
    However, by employing a switchback technique (moving laterally
    back and forth across the slope with only a small rise on each
    leg) the objective can be achieved. It's only a matter of time and
    effort. The population distribution can be likened to sleds
    scattered on the slope, some near mid-slope, some nearer the top
    and others nearer the bottom all with varying loads. Distance from
    the top of the hill represents psychological predisposition and
    load weight inversely represents physical suitability (I.e. the
    less physically suitable, the greater the weight.) At this time it
    is unclear whether this distribution follows what is referred to
    in statistics as "normal curve" or "normal distribution". Remember
    that there exist many subjects with a high level of predisposition
    who may not act (e.g. won't even crossdress secretly)! Many
    potential subjects strongly desire the wife to take this course
    but are afraid to broach the subject fearing an angry response,
    ridicule, breakup of the marriage, embarrassment and etc.
    Repression of this desire frequently results in a combination of
    unhappiness, stress and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

    F. To conclude the introduction, there is one point that should be
    given very, very careful consideration. In many aspects of human
    relationships some things that are done cannot be undone. This is
    one of them. "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might
    get it", certainly applies here.

    Part II. Getting started

    Fundamental concepts

    This is an exercise in control, albeit psychological control.
    Control, once achieved and PROPERLY maintained is difficult to
    lose. Once lost however it is difficult (if not impossible) to
    regain. Individual instances of resistance, or backsliding not
    dealt with will empower the subject and cumulatively can
    compromise (fatally) the entire process. This is not to say that
    from time-to-time the wife will not have to adjust her pace or the
    timing of certain steps.

    Time has proven that a slow, steady and consistently progressive
    approach yields the best overall results. "Too much too soon",
    frequently produces resistance not only at greater levels but also
    with greater frequency (far more dangerous) threatening the
    control aspect. Steadiness refers to consistency of execution.
    This is not something one does for a few weeks and then abandons
    for a lengthy period. This in essence amounts to re-starting the
    process again and is a waste of valuable time and effort.
    "Progressive" implies that the process is always moving forward,
    never backward until all goals are achieved. Elements are added,
    never removed. It may be necessary from time-to-time to reduce the
    RATE of change, or to even plateau for a period of time to allow
    the subject to acclimate to recent, significant changes.

    The wife must always keep uppermost in her mind the human
    motivational factors. They are easy to remember, as there are only
    two. They are anticipation of gain and fear of loss. The reader
    may recognize these as somewhat analogous to the proverbial
    "carrot and stick". Employ the stick as seldom as possible, unless
    of course the subject really wants it.

    Ninety percent of luck is preparation (or perspiration depending
    on one's source). The astute wife will have a plan of action
    complete with contingency plans should the original plan need
    periodic revision. One should never, never act impetuously or
    without a clear reason for taking action. "If it ain't broke,
    don't fix it" and if it IS broke be sure, to the fullest extent
    possible, that the contemplated action WILL fix it and that right

    Knowledge is power and most wives have more knowledge and
    consequently power than they are aware of. The key factor here is
    the subject doesn't know what the wife does or does not know.
    There is simply no point in cluing them in! In point of fact ALL
    husbands have done things that they would hope the wife never
    learn of and in most cases she hasn't. What those things are
    really doesn't matter at all. What matters most is that the
    subject is unsure whether or not the wife knows them. He may
    ASSUME so, but he doesn't KNOW to a certainty that she doesn't or
    that she never will. This is poker and you don't want the opponent
    seeing your cards (Poker players know the power of a heavily bet
    "pat hand"). The subject carries a certain amount of guilt because
    of these things and there is no advantage to lightening the
    perceived load.

    For example, the husband may at some point balk at the process,
    particularly a significant step. Some even do a fair amount of
    whining about being asked to do certain things. The wife could try
    whining too, e.g. "After all I've done for you", etc. At BEST this
    leads to a stalemate. Worse, there may be no change of position,
    the subject may thwart the step AND reduce the wife's level of
    control. This is hardly desirable. If on the other hand the wife
    looks the subject straight in the eye and says something like
    "Well, I never complained about the time you...oh...never mind."
    and then STOPS the subject is stuck. When the husband asks what
    she's talking about the wife simply (glowering a bit helps here)
    replies, "you KNOW what I'm talking about" and brushes off further
    inquiries with "never mind" or "I don't even want to discuss it."
    If the wife DOES have knowledge of one of these evil deeds she
    should never specify it unless there is absolutely no other
    alternative. Once out in the open, subsequent references to it are
    just perceived as nagging and its value is lost forever.

    The husband's first reaction is of course that the wife has
    knowledge of one or more (all?) of his transgressions and his
    immediate concern is WHICH one(s). He certainly won't rattle them
    off in an attempt to discover which particular item the wife is
    referring to (thereby loading the wife's "virtual pistol"). This
    employs the guilt aspect to far better effect than, for example,
    "counter whining". Is the "virtual pistol" loaded or not? Does he
    find out by having the wife pull the trigger or does he back down?
    This is quite clearly a tactic to be employed sparingly and best
    saved for critical situations but it illustrates the point.
    Sometimes just a look will do. Husband makes a statement and all
    he gets in return is the "I know something you don't know I know"
    look in reply and maybe a "Riiiiiiight" or a rolling of the eyes
    thrown in for good measure.

    Conversely the wife should NEVER allow herself to be CAUGHT in a
    lie. Be patient. There are some things the wife may want to do,
    but must defer doing. This is because to do them would require
    deceit that could be uncovered hence reducing control (more on
    this later). The wife can freely lie about what she's planning or
    what she's thinking or what she wants, as these can never be
    proved false. If later events prove them incorrect she simply
    invokes the female prerogative, "I changed my mind."

    Lastly there is the issue of sex, referring to activity not
    gender. It has an immense bearing here. Like it or not the subject
    either already derives some level of sexual gratification and/or
    excitement from feminization (CD'ing and the like) or will do so
    in the future. Sex is the biggest "carrot" around; think of a
    carrot the size of a railroad boxcar if that helps. Couple that
    with the fact that women have virtually ALL the sexual power and
    authority in our society (moral and legal) and one has a tool of
    incalculable power. (E.g. wives who refuse to have sexual
    relations go to sleep, husbands that physically force relations
    can go to jail.) Use this power wisely and with a view to the fact
    that one is involved in a progressive enterprise. Find out what
    works and what doesn't and save the "high value" activity for
    rewarding appropriate behavior, especially "milestone" type
    achievements by the subject.

    Understand that even practicing TGurls (CD, TS, TV but excluding
    traditionally gay males who do drag) have NO interest in men when
    in "boy mode"; they are not "gay" in the generally understood
    sense. Most will admit to at least a certain amount of "curiosity"
    about bisexual behavior when en femme (this usually first surfaces
    as an interest in other TGurls). In addition gay men have no
    interest in TGurls simply because they have no interest in the
    feminine image; their interest is reserved for the male image.

    Why then do the vast majority of TGurls that go out as gurls
    frequent gay bars? It's simple; "drag" has been a part of the gay
    scene for ages and more importantly it is the ONE place where the
    TGurls can be sure of a decent level of acceptance. (E.g. don't
    try this at your local biker bar.) Many gay males still intensely
    dislike the TG lifestyle because they perceive that it worsens the
    gay stereotype they have worked years to overcome; ironic, no?
    There will be a lot more on this later.

    Phase I. Building a foundation

    This is an especially critical phase. This is not because anything
    of great significance is accomplished. Quite the contrary, to the
    uninitiated observer nothing is going on! It is however the
    foundation on which all else is built. Errors or carelessness here
    can cast ripples throughout the process and cause great difficulty
    later. The objectives here are gathering intelligence, developing
    the initial plan, taking a few initial small steps and most
    importantly learning to use the concept that will be employed
    throughout the process and at every level. That concept is to
    reward femme and discourage male behavior. At the beginning it
    must be done ever so subtly, so as to be undetectable. The ability
    to do this requires practice and the sooner one starts the sooner
    one learns.

    This concept is the antithesis of what the subject has been
    trained since childhood to expect in a marital or "relationship"
    setting. Happily enough women have been advocating that men be
    more "sensitive" and "caring" and "nurturing" (read "soft"?) in
    demeanor for some time so the skids have been well greased, so to
    speak. If wives are unsure of the benefits of "women's lib" they
    know of at least one now. Many men have harkened to the call; even
    if not complete converts they are sensitive to being referred to
    as male chauvinists, or the like. What had been traditionally
    considered more feminine psychological deportment is more in vogue
    for men today than ever before. When the author contrasts the
    current environment with that of years past the difference is
    startling. A SO who is now referred to as "compassionate, caring,
    sensitive and nurturing" today would have been earned the
    appellation "pussy whipped" (or worse) not that all that long ago.

    Intelligence as to the subjects posture vis--vis the TG lifestyle
    must be gathered. Asking directly is of no use; since he is, after
    all, a male he will undoubtedly lie; further it just puts him on
    his guard. One wants her gurl-to-be doing a lot of things, but
    thinking isn't one of them. Rather, determine his posture by
    observing his reactions to any situation that even remotely
    borders on this topic. Further, the wife should ensure that she
    NEVER makes derogatory comments about the lifestyle. Finding it
    even passably interesting is excellent technique. Covert activity
    should include checking the home computer; C:\windows\cookies and
    the temporary Internet file folder in the C:\windows directory can
    provide insights to hubby's computer use. (If this is Greek, ask
    anyone reasonably familiar with MS PC operating systems like Win98
    or Win ME et seq. Mac users are on their own.) Carefully arranging
    ones lingerie so any disturbance is easily detected is another
    good step. Small items carefully and consistently placed can act
    as effective alarms. "Less intellectually gifted" TGurls are
    frequently tripped up by the fact the wife's clothing and/or shoes
    are inexplicably stretched out or worn. Many TGurls fear discovery
    so much that they don't buy their own things but wear the wife's.
    Also, make full use of the web; there is a staggering amount of
    information available on the lifestyle. A little poking around in
    the garage, attic, or basement frequently yields "gold" too.
    (Garages being a particular favorite.)

    As the intelligence gathering proceeds an initial, rough plan can
    start taking shape. Items to be considered should include at a
    minimum setting goals, defining steps to be taken (incremental
    activity), timing, how one will deal with resistance, subject
    strengths and weaknesses (e.g. physical, emotional and etc.) and
    the best way to use them. Understand that at no time is the plan
    "cast in concrete". The process is dynamic and frequent changes
    are to be expected. Achieving the end goals is what counts; how
    one arrives at them is irrelevant.

    A few small steps should also be taken as a sort of "kick off" to
    the execution of the plan. These involve beginning the assumption
    of control. The first is very innocuous; simply stop using the
    subject's boy name. "Honey", "sweetie", "sweetheart" (be careful
    with "cutie" now though) and the like should be used consistently.
    As the process progresses the femme name the wife selects (or
    approves) will be used with increasing frequency but this phase is
    too soon for that. Compliments on physical appearance are also
    appropriate, but NOT male characteristic flattering compliments;
    e.g. NOT "My you have nice big arms" but rather, "nice legs", or
    "cute butt" and etc. The wife should always think of the subject
    in terms of "her" or "she" rather than "him" or "he". A small
    point to be sure but the appropriate mindset is necessary. Do not
    USE (vocalize) these terms in unguarded fashion at this time.

    The second item is to learn to control conversation, a skill that
    will be most useful as the process progresses. How does one do
    that? Simple, just ask questions. For example, if the subject says
    something like "Why don't you ever call me Bill (or Don or Tom or
    whatever) any more?" don't defend with an answer, control with a
    question. For example, one might respond with "Why honey, why on
    earth would you ask me that?" One asks questions until one finds
    out what is at issue (more information gathering). Concluding
    responses should be geared toward reassuring and enhancing

    In the example cited a concluding comment might be "Because I love
    you so much" or "You ARE such a sweetheart", etc. If pressed (as
    if the subject's masculine self image is being threatened) it is
    perfectly acceptable to look hurt and pout a little. After all,
    one was being affectionate! This will almost always produce a
    feeling of guilt in the subject (too much is never enough) and
    will provide an incentive to please as compensation. This is the
    desired result. Repetition of this process over time yields what's
    referred to as a "conditioned response" (Pavlov knew what he was
    talking about) in that resistance yields guilt, hence willingness
    to please, hence submission. Once submission is adopted as the
    norm resistance fades, as the subject no longer wishes to suffer
    loss by feeling guilty. (Recall the two human motivational

    This is only an example and a minor one at that but the concept
    should be clear nonetheless. It's the concept that counts. There
    is no way to anticipate every possible situation or form of
    resistance that may surface. If the concept(s) are understood,
    wives find a way to prevail.

    There is saying in sports, particularly football, that the best
    defense is a good offense (team B can't score if team A has the
    ball). Just be Team A. I'll cite an example and give a tip o' the
    hat to a wife in NYC who illustrated this skill to perfection. Her
    hubby was in his mid-twenties and the wife (we'll call her "Judy"
    here) was 23. It is scary to realize that a woman so young was so
    astute. Judy described her hubby as "pretty, even as a boy".

    At any rate, after more than six months of work, she had her gurl
    ready to go out as a gurl for the very first time; she was dressed
    to thrill, makeup perfect and looking very hot. She was a pro at
    walking in heels with a nice little wiggle to boot. In
    paratroop/airborne parlance Judy's TGurl "stuck in the door". She
    dead, flat, solid balked with a cab waiting down at the curb.
    "Judy" looked her gurl in the eye and said, "After all this effort
    are you telling me that you're too big a sissy to do this?"

    This was completely extemporaneous. Consider the implications. The
    TGurl evidently balked at the thought of having her masculinity
    threatened by going out as a gurl. Judy's counter was not only to
    cast doubt on her gurl's masculinity by implying that her gurl was
    a "sissy" if she DIDN'T go, she did it in the form of a question!
    No threats. No shouting. No whining.

    Imagine the TGurls perspective. There she is in a hoochie-mama
    mini-dress and all the trimmings faced with two alternatives;
    either she goes out and LOOKS (to others) like a sissy or she
    doesn't go out and ADMITS to her wife that she IS one thereby
    invalidating her resistance in the first place! It just does not
    get any better than this. It is, dear reader, work with grand
    style, exhibiting thorough knowledge of the concepts and her
    subject. They were in the cab a few minutes later with the trip to
    the cab including an elevator ride with another tenant.

    Another New Yorker comes to mind, the legendary columnist Damon
    Runyon. There is an old quotation (excerpt from a poem, author?)
    that goes something like this:

    The race is not always to the swift,
    Nor the battle to the strong.

    To which Mr. Runyon appended:

    But that's the way to bet.

    Phase II. Introducing the subject to the process

    This is where proper preparation will begin to pay off. If one's
    subject is already a TGurl, one might be tempted to skip this
    portion but it is not advised. There are things to be aware of for
    that group as well in this section.

    Before commencing the "nuts and bolts" portion of this phase a
    brief discussion of TGurl psychological development is in order.
    Irrespective of age, TGurls go through much the same developmental
    process vis--vis feminization as GG's (GG = genetic girl, or
    "real woman") do. That is, just because she's thirty-five years
    old (or more!) for example don't think she's not going to want to
    dress like a teenager or twenty-something.

    TGurls progress through much the same time line as GG's do; the
    process is time compressed and the earlier phases must be achieved
    to the TGurl's (yes, occasionally she's going to have things her
    way) satisfaction. Indeed, some get "stuck" in the younger girl
    image and never move beyond it.

    This characteristic can be most trying at times and the wife will
    be sorely tempted on many occasions to be overtly critical of it;
    don't do it. Bite one's lip, engage in a little primal scream
    therapy or take YOURSELF shopping, but don't get on the gurl about
    this. They are leaning to be feminine just like (well, maybe not
    JUST like) any GG did. For instance one wife ("Abby" US Great
    Lakes region) said that it used to drive her to distraction
    listening to her gurl chat on the phone with a TGurl friend. The
    wife said, "She'd spend (note the wife's use of the feminine
    pronoun "she") forever on the phone tittering and giggling like a
    14 year old in a high pitched voice and it would drive me nuts.
    I'd gently close the door and turn the radio up a bit so I
    couldn't hear it." This is, of course, a correct response.

    Further, the process will not always be smooth and predictable.
    It's going to move in fits and starts occasionally and there is
    absolutely no telling when these will occur nor can anything be
    done to alter that. Just deal with it; it is what it is.

    Don't give the gurl any reason to suspect that any of this
    perturbs you; put your "game face" on and keep it on. When in
    doubt, smile. If one's gurl was already a TG and one knew about it
    AND one had expressed displeasure in the past, this is going to
    have to change. It can't be an abrupt change because the gurl will
    immediately be suspicious, as in "what's up with this all of a
    sudden?" Over time become more accepting, friendly and supportive
    (dare one say solicitous?) at a rate that will not raise any

    There are many ways to introduce the subject to the process and
    which is selected doesn't matter so long as the objective is
    achieved. If the wife has any ideas that she feels would work they
    certainly should be employed. However, one method in particular
    has proven consistently successful in use with a wide variety of
    subjects and it's the method to be discussed here.

    Simply put, men are suckers for sex. Remember the old adage "God
    gave men two heads but only enough blood to run one at a time",
    cynical perhaps but dead on. Women's sex drives are generally just
    as strong as a man's are, one difference being frequency. It's not
    uncommon for wives to femme hubby so as to provide an alternative
    sexual outlet so the wife isn't "pestered" so often. Women's
    drives peak later in life but also have a tendency to decline more
    rapidly with age.

    If the target (hubby, male SO) has been complaining (men do a LOT
    of whining about this) about lack of spontaneity or variety in the
    couple's sex life, it presents a perfect opportunity. Introduce a
    little "bedroom kink" by telling the subject that it would be
    really stimulating or exciting or hot if the subject would wear a
    pair of panties. If the TGurl has any reasonable level of
    predisposition, she's going to jump all over this. If the TGurl
    asks a lot of questions, the wife already knows how to control the
    conversation from having mastered the art previously. Above all,
    when the subject agrees, the wife should respond very
    enthusiastically. (Adult women, especially married adult women,
    who have not yet mastered the art of the fake orgasm, are hereby
    referred to their female friends for advice.)

    It's going to come up eventually and now is just as good a time as
    any. The ultimate sexual reward for men is oral sex. Men, married
    men in particular, have one overriding complaint about their
    partner's sexual proclivities and that is many women either don't
    like it or flat out won't perform fellatio. (There's an old joke;
    What do eggs benedict and a good blowjob have in common? Answer:
    They are two things you can't get at home.)

    The wife has to do what she has to do. Have a few drinks first,
    think about something else (hint: paybacks are a bitch), treat
    oneself to something special afterward, or whatever. Nobody said
    this was going to be easy and the wife has already been advised
    that total commitment to the process is a must. For those wives
    who are truly put off by this, here's a little trick that may
    help. The wife should get a piece of paper and on it write the
    integers fifty through one in descending order. Every time the
    wife finds it necessary to administer oral sex she will cross off
    the highest remaining number. In the history of this enterprise NO
    wife who disliked performing oral sex has ever gotten to the
    number one. (If the reader is the first, she has done something

    If the wife DOES enjoy performing oral sex she should simply work
    on improving her technique and/or frequency. This builds up big
    "points" in her favor that can be called upon later. In addition,
    balky subjects can be confronted with the possibility of
    diminished activity of this sort if they resist (remember fear of

    In the (highly) unlikely event the oral sex isn't the hubby's
    trigger here (more on "triggers" later) something else is. It
    might be dirty talk during sex, XXX rated videos or some other
    long harbored fantasy. If one doesn't know, one should find out
    (does intelligence gathering ring a bell?). Maintain a stiff upper
    lip throughout, figuratively speaking.

    The first pair of panties employed should probably be the wife's
    as that makes the event seem more spontaneous and will be less
    likely to alert the subject that something is afoot. However, this
    will also be the LAST pair of panties belonging to the wife that
    the subject will ever (to the extent it can be prevented) don. It
    is absolutely critical that the subject has her own TGurl things
    and the sooner acquisition of these things commences, the better.

    This is true for several reasons. Would the wife really want the
    subject wearing her things? Of course not, they are unlikely to
    fit properly, they will likely be damaged and beyond that is the
    wife going to want to wear them again (aka the "eewwww" factor)?
    The next time the wife suggests the husband wear panties again
    will present the opportunity of giving the subject a gift or treat
    or reward, namely the subject's own pair of panties.

    Thus, one begins a conditioning regime that will be maintained
    indefinitely or at least as long as necessary. It is a
    prerequisite for further progress that the subject begin to view
    HERSELF as a femme persona in her own right rather than simply an
    extension of the wife's persona. In addition, she should be
    encouraged to develop her own "sense of style". (The "slutty" or
    "trashy" or "tarty" look is common; don't moan, it does present
    certain advantages.) The subject's own, personal femme clothing is
    tangible evidence, nay proof, of the existence of the subject's
    emerging or already extant feminine alter ego. This concept cannot
    be stressed too strongly; it will be continuously and consistently
    applied in all phases. If it is not grasped and properly employed,
    failure at one point or another is inevitable.

    Indeed, once the first pair of panties is purchased for the
    subject they should be kept in a separate drawer containing
    nothing else! As the gurl's inventory of femme items grows, they
    will be added to the drawer or other drawers or closets, as the
    case may be, reserved solely for that purpose. (One wife can
    attest to the usefulness of this arrangement. Her hubby, well
    along in the process, put up unexpected and stiff resistance to a
    rather major step. It was the "I'm not a gurl, I'm a man" type
    tactic. The wife simply pulled open a few drawers, opened a closet
    door and gesturing to an array of lingerie, dresses, high heeled,
    shoes, wigs and etc. simply asked, "Well then, to whom do these
    things belong?" Clearly impossible if the hubby wore only the
    wife's things.)

    Continued, progressive femming is rewarded with enthusiastic,
    rewarding (for the subject at least) sexual activity, accompanied
    by periodic "treats" or rewards (more femme things) that heighten
    the subject's ANTICIPATION of future activity (remember
    anticipation of gain?).

    After she has her first pair of panties, simply add things. More
    lingerie, or a nightie, or a few small pieces of costume jewelry
    are all appropriate items. Don't MAKE her go out and buy her own
    things yet; in future, it will be hard to stop her from doing so
    but forcing it now is too "pushy". Don't go "whole hog" here;
    acquire these things over time, present then as gifts at
    reasonably well-spaced intervals and follow up with enthusiastic
    response when she wears them.

    If (Praise the Lord) she ever asks for something in particular, by
    all means get it. However, just don't give it to her. That would
    amount to walking away from a heaven-sent opportunity. "Why?" one
    might ask (golly, you're learning already.) This leads us to yet
    another of the basic concepts, namely "TANSTAAFL".

    Yes, TANSTAAFL, an acronym for "there ain't no such thing as a
    free lunch." If one wants to get something, one has to give
    something. Any time she wants anything femme she gets it with the
    proviso that she do something to move the process forward. One
    should NEVER, NEVER violate this rule.

    For example it's the author's bet (to his last dime, shilling,
    whatever) that one of her requests will eventually, sooner than
    later, be a garterbelt (suspender in UK parlance) and hose. These
    items have caused more TGurl erections than all the centerfolds in
    all the men's magazines combined, with plenty to spare.

    An example here would be appropriate. "Gwen" (not her real name of
    course), a mid-thirties wife in the Midwest US was presented with
    exactly this scenario. Her gurl had been started and was beginning
    to respond nicely. Gwen later discovered that her gurl had
    crossdressed occasionally before they were married and, like most
    TGurls, concealed it from his wife. (Gwen made spectacular use of
    this very odious TGurl habit subsequently. More on that subject

    As best can be recalled, here is the scenario. Gwen had by this
    time acquired two nighties for her gurl. She had recently
    purchased an imitation pearl necklace for her gurl. On the night
    in question the gurl was going to wear it for the first time
    during "play time."

    Gwen to hubby in the bathroom: "Sweetheart (!!! No femme name yet)
    which nightie would you like, the white one or the peach?"

    Hubby: (mumbled, unintelligible response, then emerges from the
    bathroom looking down in the mouth)

    Gwen (astute and ready for anything does not slip up): "Is
    something wrong?" (Question!! taking control, proactive rather
    than reactive. Also making eye contact that is quickly avoided by
    hubby, sign that there is an issue.)

    Hubby: "No, not really." (Incomplete denial)

    Gwen: "Come on now, I can see something is troubling you" (Superb,
    assertive, delivers a message of superior knowledge of the subject
    as well as perceived empathy), "how can I help you?" (Oh my, all
    the right emotional appeal still maintaining control)

    Hubby: "It's just that, well, the nighties are nice but may be I
    could try something else?" (Well conditioned, seeking permission)

    Gwen: "Of course honey, what would you like?"

    What surfaced was hubby wanted a garterbelt and hose, however Gwen
    just didn't "give it up". She responded that it was certainly a
    possibility and she'd give it some thought. Brilliant! Why? She
    maintained anticipation (she didn't say no) and she maintained
    fear of loss by saying she'd "give it some thought"(it wasn't a
    done deal yet).

    Gwen of course purchased the item. Before presenting it, Gwen
    explained to her gurl that wearing hose over hairy legs would look
    "gross" and would really put her off, etc. (a possible sexual
    penalty appealing to fear of loss). So Gwen achieved a milestone
    (shaved legs) BEFORE the treat was presented.

    Gwen was saved a lot of maneuvering to get hubby to start shaving,
    hubby got what he wanted (and then some) AND the TGurl perceived
    it was really her idea in the first place. It was a win, win, win.
    TANSTAAFL was shaved legs (payment in advance) for the garterbelt,
    something hubby would have gladly worn in the first place. And
    probably most importantly the concept of progression was
    established, always more and never less. The gurl is conditioned
    to regard each step as a small thing as certainly they all are.
    The cumulative effect becomes apparent only after time.

    Any request is an opportunity. Even resistance can present such
    opportunities if handled correctly. There has been little
    discussion of dealing with resistance to this point. Typically,
    there isn't any resistance to speak of through the first two
    phases. If a wife can't get her gurl to wear a pair of panties
    during (rewarding) play, or buy her gurl a nightie, etc. something
    is seriously amiss. The best bet is preparation was seriously
    flawed or the initial approach to the process was handled in
    clumsy fashion.

    Exercises: (What? The reader didn't expect homework?)

    Given the information supplied, analyze each situation with
    respect to your personal situation and develop as many plans of
    action, or actions or responses as you can. Identify opportunities
    and elements of gain or loss for your gurl.

    P.2.1. You're at home alone with hubby and the conversation
    gets around to sex and he expresses some dissatisfaction with the
    current practice(s).

    P.2.2 You attend a costume party and one of the male guests is
    dressed en femme. Hubby doesn't comment at the party. You're alone
    in the car with him on the way home.

    P.2.3 Same as P.2.2 except on the way home hubby brings up the
    subject with something like "Did you see the way X was dressed?"
    without implying either a negative or positive reaction when she
    says it.

    P.2.4 You find evidence that hubby has been visiting TGurl
    websites on the computer.

    P.2.5 You're out with a group of friends (couples) and hubby
    makes some comment, even jokingly, implying that your sex life is
    lacking in some either particular or general respect. (They can be
    such oafs.)

    P.2.6 Hubby forgets a "big day", e.g. birthday or anniversary
    of any sort.

    P.2.7 Hubby has spent a "boy's night out" (golf outing, poker
    game and etc.) and arrives home later than expected, a little bit
    tipsy and feeling "frisky".

    P.2.8 Same as P.2.8 except hubby showers and goes to bed.

    P.2.9 You've successfully gotten your gurl to wear your
    panties the first time. You purchase her first panties but she
    doesn't want to wear them insisting she would prefer to wear
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