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For the locked up guys!

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by KinbakuQueen, Aug 21, 2017.

  1. I don’t want to go into too much detail but I've recently become a key holder to a guy I'm not in a relationship with or even dating, we hooked up when we met and one thing led to another (don't judge me please the vodka and my vagina goblin made me do it :) Anyhoo, we shared some of our desires.

    He wants more sessions with me (only had one) but I've refused because I've realised I need a LTR in my life, I need romance and to feel cared for by a good man. However, he's not looking for commitment right now (which I totally respect, I told him to find another lady and leave me alone)

    He has been very insistent and I relented in caging him *and nothing else*
    I thought: whats the big deal if I hold this guys key? Little did I realise it’s a HUGE deal, the concern if he’s in pain or his sperm is suffocating because of me, the emotional ramifications of being in such control over a mans member. Although I find it a turn on, I wonder why he was so adamant it was me who cage him. I’ve got myself into this mexican stand off where he gets no sessions without giving me romance and I get no romance without giving him sessions, yet between us we share such an incredible intimacy of me practically owning his dick.

    I hope men in this position can offer me some insight, perhaps I’m overthinking it and being too emotional but I can’t help how I feel.

    I'm here to ask the caged men; what was it about your KH that did it for you?

    I know I’ll probably be ripped to shreds now on this thread but, meh :rolleyes:
  2. My wife is my keyholder, so hard to give the answer you are looking for. BUT- just not having access to his cock when he wants and making him horney is all he's looking for. My advice- have fun with it. Be silly and just enjoy teasing him. If you want him to service you, by all means! Just don't give him sex!
  3. Sounds very romantic.
  4. eh, not a good idea in general. Being a key holder is a VERY important, very intimate relationship. I would not advise giving your key to someone you don't really know. Nor would I advise a woman to hold the key of someone she barely knows. Too many things can go wrong.

    I am locked up and my wife of 36 years holds the key. The longer and stronger the relationship, the better for keyholding. You just can't really understand each others wants/needs after only a weekend hookup. I'm convinced that, in general, chastity and keyholding are safest and most rewarding in long term relationships. My 2 cents.
  5. My wife is mine and the day she enjoyed my fantasy more than me was the icing on the cake .I have no say at all on when i get out :)
  6. Haha! Your situation is funny :D

    I don't agree that you have to be in a long term relationship for chastity. I am, and it is certainly awesome, but others can just take it lightly and have fun with it anyway they want. Just make sure he is a nice person, and will respect your limits and boundaries no matter what...

    So If i understand, he is locked up, and you own the keys, while he waits for a next session.
    Basically, he is thinking about you all the time right now! He must be so horny!

    The only thing that is important with a caged man is to tease him (verbally and/or physically) and keep him Horny. Then you can play him and get things from him and have fun :rolleyes:

    If you stop teasing him however, his experience as a chased man will probably become bitter, and he will lose interest. As you guys don't really have a relationship, if you lose interest in teasing him, that means the game is over; so justunlock him, I'd say; if your in the mood, give him a cool sexual experience for his release. If you're not, then just don't.

    Whatever happens, remember that both your behaviors, especially his, are skewed by chastity, and that your actions and words might not reflect where you would stand, if chastity wasn't involved...
    A bit like when you have too much Vodka ;)

    Have fun and keep us posted :p
    Mark Owen likes this.
  7. I would not be able to provide you the insight you're looking for from a male's perspective, @KinbakuQueen@KinbakuQueen, but from a KH to another, I'm sure you recognize the energy that allows for this dynamic to exist--as it appears to, in your case--and that might have made him 'insist' that YOU make it real for him.

    It starts with a deep-seated need by him to be sexually controlled, often dominated and erotically charged, while being provided with more intimate attention, all without release. They crave a heightened sense of sustained testosterone-built up excitement that can be increased by a KH that they find strong, attractive and thus very desirable.

    But fundamentally, beyond feelings of sexual desire on his part towards you, other factors may play a role, such as comfort, desire to please you, and a heavy dosis of affection (if not downright devotion, even love). Surely some (if not all) of that is what he feels for you, and most likely that's what compelled him so strongly to make you his KH.

    Your own feelings for this man aside, I personally found that certain added treatments make an exchange of this nature even more powerful: romance (as you requested), required obedience, personal service, and punishments by you if necessary. You could have a high-security chastity-based, desire-and-frustration dynamic, and demand those added components. Then this would be less of a 'standoff' and more a 'deal on your terms', that could be a much more appealing proposition for you the KH. You might want to consider establishing more control in this exchange along those lines, if you feel you need to get more out of this bargain to continue forward with it.
    slave_m and Junebug15 like this.
  8. One question to ask yourself is 'Do I hold the only key?' because it is about your total control. Most of us that are held in chastity have strong relationships with their KH and their trust is essential. Yes there is a certain amount of play, obedience etc. that forms part of the relationship but most of us would agree that we seek to please our key-holders more than ourselves. Men derive a range of experiences for being forcefully chaste the KH latches onto these so that it becomes a pleasure for both.
    gary170 likes this.
  9. Kinbakuqueen,

    First off kudos to you. As long as your safe and don't do anything you regret I think it's great that you're sexually free to sleep with who you choose. The only judgement here is I hope you're careful and don't let the vodka cloud yours where you're not safe.

    That aside, you said it. It's a big deal. Some men can have a key holder who isn't involved with them, but many of us need the connection, the attention, and involvement.

    I've tried relationships that were an hour or so away and it didn't work for me due to distance and time and lack of enough attention. But I knew a guy who lived two hours from his Domme who had a great relationship. So it's just one of those "it depends" and "everyone's different" deals.

    The bottom line is no one controls you unless you choose. Please don't feel pressured to do what others want be it a social norm or something a guy wants. In the end it should be about you enjoying your life, trying things an
  10. For meine it is a toy Not a Lifestyle. So what does the belt for me. Some sexual enhancement
  11. No doubt about the Key Holder n Me thing that has proven to be the most desired one to repeat.
    We were in an Long distance sexual relationship meeting up when we could sometimes twice in a week, sometimes overnight or just a few hours or even a couple of days together ...sometimes not seeing ech other for a month. This was an ongoing relationship into which we later mutually introduced chastity play. Once we had bought a device we were seldom apart without me being in one and that was a mutual choice. She wanted me in...and I wanted to be in for her.

    So to answer the question: what was it about your KH that did it for me?

    Compatability before hand... and our chastity play was clearly a joint interest that served also to bind us further. But TTTWD was the icing on an already very good cake.
  12. Thank you all, I've loved reading your replies and you've all got me thinking.
    I think all you couples are very fortunate to have found a partner who shares your desires, I hope I can find that one day but for now I'v decided to have some fun and even altering my definition of romance, whats more romantic than a sexy chaste man going down on me for an hour?
    I agree with all of you regarding safety and made sure he has a safety key, even though we live close to one another, I feel better knowing he has one. I would never play without an escape route, a friend of mine told me a friend of theirs were playing, he was tied, she slipped on a toy and hit her head on the floor and was unconscious :eek: he had to scream for help but they were in a warehouse I think so nobody around, however luckily a man heard and helped them, their both okay now but fuck me that's scary.
    My friends emergency escape is to play with three, I like how he thinks lol.

    It's amazing the things you'll do when the sexual chemistry is off the charts, I have been wandering this kinky road for not a long time, waiting for the right person and he is a good guy so I'm gonna chill the fuck out, be safe and have some fun *minus the voddy;)
    Thanks again for all the advice.
    bethanise, slave_m and ClubSub like this.
  13. Unlike most who have responded, my KH is not my wife. My wife is not by nature dominant, she can fake it for a little while for me when she's in the mood -- but I don't want fake. So my tiny little sissy clit is now owned by another woman. For me, Goddess hit all the items on my checklist for an owner:

    1. Smart (ok, brilliant)
    2. Intuitive -- amazingly so
    3. Funny - a good sense of humor is really important about this stuff.
    4. Dominant - duh.
    5. Experienced - so she'd know what typical limits were.
    6. Creative

    And of course, just by happenstance, she happens to be drop dead gorgeous with exceptional endowment in the area i usually focus on (i.e., she has amazing boobs).
  14. I don't know, I was with my partner for a few years before chastity and FLR even began. My opinion is if you enjoy it, what's the harm? I do find it interesting that someone who doesn't want commitment wants to hand over his rights to his sexuality. Different strokes (or not) for different blokes I suppose.
  15. That is hilarious!!
    As a KH you have all of the power, but only if you want it. I wouldn't let your feelings distract you from the task at hand. I am willing to bet that he might be gaging your response.
    Best of luck! have fun!
  16. I am sure you will find the perfect submissive. There are many men who fantasize about dominate woman, so you could easily have an unlimited selection if you desire. Mistress had many slaves before we met and still occasionally locks other boys, so we know there is more demand for keyholders than supply.

    Other than just having a sexy locked man go down on you, you should consider adding strapon sex to the mix. Mistress often takes me while I am locked and it drives both of us wild. Depending on how far you want to go, you can keep boys locked and still let your vagina wild through taking large cocked lovers. Once you find the proper relationship, everything will be decided by you. Your loyal submissive will give into your every needs; regardless of what that desire is or means to the sub. When I first met Mistress, I never imagined I would suck cock or get fucked by a man, but Mistress's desires slowly shaped my will to meet her needs. As you may know the saying, you boil the frog by putting him in cold water and slowly adding the heat. Just find a great guy and then add your desired kinks one at a time. After chastity, it is very easy to control a man. A way to a man's heart is not through his stomach, it is through the key to his cock cage.
    Skywalker41918 likes this.
  17. This is fantastic info
  18. Very good info...my KH is grooming me that way. she broached the idea of locking me up, ordered the cage and left it on my night stand. That night she put it on and slid the lock in place. She gave me the choice click the lock and she would decide when I would be released or not to click and we could discuss it. I nodded she clicked and over the past 2 years keeps it in place longer and longer. She then started to use me anally starting with butt plugs and then dildos and strapons slowly increasing sizes. Then came the frilly underwear as she tossed all of mine out. Then the wigs and shorty nightys. She now refers to me as her slut, her little bitch and is using the strapon to teach me to suck cock so "I won't embarrass her". When I asked how I would embarrass her she said "when the time is right and I find a real cock for you to suck I want you to make me proud". She is slowly grooming me to add a 3rd person into the mix to suit her needs (and as she shapes me my desires <blush>). Now when she pegs me our has a "suck off lesson" she growls "I bet my little sluts wishes it was a real one in her mouth or ass". And you know what I get hard and excited at the thought now where a year ago I would have said no way.
  19. To us, our FLR is pretty much about 2 way communication, so I have difficulty relating to your situation. Having had 2 heart attacks, I am always concerned about the possibility of another medical incident when She's not around, so I now have a spare key on a tiny little necklace around my neck and super-glued shut, just for emergencies. Please consider an emergency plan for your sub.