FLR seems to be over

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by GoddessG, Feb 10, 2020.

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  1. BunnyAthalus
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    BunnyAthalus Long term member

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    How long have you two been together?
     
  2. GoddessG
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    Two years, living together a year and known one another/close friends for 16 years.
     
  3. asimpleman23
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    asimpleman23 Long term member

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    one certainly pines when delicious potentials inherent in the collaboration are curtailed, no?

    here's to renewal and open roads, Goddess G. : )
     
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  4. jmanque
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    jmanque Active member

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    I think you need to determine whether him not wanting to marry is-

    -a commitment issue
    -or an issue with him not thinking it fits with your power exchange relationship

    They require different tacks to find a solution. If it's the former he may associate 'marriage' with failure since his ended in divorce. Or he may be 'once bitten twice shy,' or any of a number of other things. He may even need counseling. It probably won't be any conciliation, but I have a friend in a vanilla relationship (so far as I know) going through the exact same thing- both divorced, both in love with each other. He says he wants a permanent relationship, yet he won't commit to marriage which is what she wants. It's hard to give useful advice when one party either has a different goal or finds it impossible to commit.

    If it's the latter and he considers marriage too 'vanilla' maybe you can change it to make it fit with his perception of what a power exchange marriage should be. Maybe have him take YOUR name. Maybe have an engagement where you put your ring on him, and a service where he promises to 'love, honor, and obey,' etc.
     
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  5. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I understand the need for the power exchange. I'm in an FLR although the amount of control my Lady may have in our particular circumstances is limited.

    As you say you are in an FLR it simply follows you should have ultimate control.... if not then are you in an FLR?

    What I would like to understand is why you would want his name.
    In an FLR him taking your surname would seem to me to be more appropriate.

    I'd really like to know your thinking on that.
     
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  6. GoddessG
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    I highly dislike my last name, and he is very precious about his - so I want his last name as mine. I don't like mine, and I want his.
     
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  7. madams-sissysub
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    I really hope you can sort this out! Best wishes to you,
     
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