(Note: Originally posted last week on my blog - High Heels and Butt Plugs) One of the biggest challenges for many women when exploring female control in their relationship is the confidence to take charge. So much of our upbringing (historically at least) set roles for men and women. A woman's role was always a more passive one, with an implied submission to her husband, remember Honour and Obey - OMG!! Much has changed from #metoo to equality in the work place, but this conditioning can still make taking control in the bedroom a daunting prospect for many. In this blog I will focus on two areas that worked for me in building confidence and will hopefully help you too... You're Sexy... One reason people explore female control is to add kink and excitement to a relationship. I have found that the more I look sexy, the sexier I feel and the more confidence I have, whether this is dress up in the bedroom or an outfit for going out. In the bedroom I find it is like a uniform, my boots for example, set an expectation for him and give me a sense of power - I'm taller, he knows they mean I'm in certain mood and I love how I look in them - this all builds up my confidence for some bedroom fun. Going out is the same, being made up and feeling sexy is confidence building like above, but with the added benefit of attention from others. People commenting on how well you look, men (or women) watching you and of course him seeing the attention you're getting is great. For me, getting in to your and his mind that you are a sexy women, creates a subconscious power shift building up control and gives confidence to take more. Your Cock... So much of what drives him is that little thing between his legs. Getting control of his cock was very important in building my confidence in taking power and him in his passive submission not just when we're playing. For me orgasm control and chastity were the key (excuse the pun). Our deal is simple I cum when and if I want, he only cums when I let him - see below. Controlling his (now my) cock and when he is allowed to orgasm really added to my confidence. Set some rules and they will help. My rules for my cock - No masturbation ever. No touching without permission. Use of the cage as and when I want him in it. Normally only allowed to cum inside me and only after I'm FULLY satisfied. On the rare occasion he is allowed cum other then inside me, he must consume his mess. Note: He has a fantasy view of licking up his mess (like many men), but the reality is post orgasm he doesn't enjoy it, so the expected consequences after a few forced clean ups makes the experience of an orgasm outside me part of our discipline play. The confidence that has built up from control of his orgasms and cock has really given me power to push further in our relationship and explore both of our kinks more. So to sum up - feel sexy, you are a sexy Goddess and take control of the cock - you will be amazed what it does for your confidence and your relationship. Goddess D.