FLR Post from my Blog - Building Confidence

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Goddess D and Sub B, Jan 16, 2019.

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  1. Goddess D and Sub B
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    Goddess D and Sub B Goddess D (High Heels and Butt Plugs)

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    (Note: Originally posted last week on my blog - High Heels and Butt Plugs)

    One of the biggest challenges for many women when exploring female control in their relationship is the confidence to take charge. So much of our upbringing (historically at least) set roles for men and women. A woman's role was always a more passive one, with an implied submission to her husband, remember Honour and Obey - OMG!!

    Much has changed from #metoo to equality in the work place, but this conditioning can still make taking control in the bedroom a daunting prospect for many. In this blog I will focus on two areas that worked for me in building confidence and will hopefully help you too...

    You're Sexy...
    One reason people explore female control is to add kink and excitement to a relationship. I have found that the more I look sexy, the sexier I feel and the more confidence I have, whether this is dress up in the bedroom or an outfit for going out.

    In the bedroom I find it is like a uniform, my boots for example, set an expectation for him and give me a sense of power - I'm taller, he knows they mean I'm in certain mood and I love how I look in them - this all builds up my confidence for some bedroom fun.

    Going out is the same, being made up and feeling sexy is confidence building like above, but with the added benefit of attention from others. People commenting on how well you look, men (or women) watching you and of course him seeing the attention you're getting is great.

    For me, getting in to your and his mind that you are a sexy women, creates a subconscious power shift building up control and gives confidence to take more.

    Your Cock...
    So much of what drives him is that little thing between his legs. Getting control of his cock was very important in building my confidence in taking power and him in his passive submission not just when we're playing.

    For me orgasm control and chastity were the key (excuse the pun). Our deal is simple I cum when and if I want, he only cums when I let him - see below. Controlling his (now my) cock and when he is allowed to orgasm really added to my confidence. Set some rules and they will help. My rules for my cock -
    1. No masturbation ever.
    2. No touching without permission.
    3. Use of the cage as and when I want him in it.
    4. Normally only allowed to cum inside me and only after I'm FULLY satisfied.
    5. On the rare occasion he is allowed cum other then inside me, he must consume his mess.
    Note: He has a fantasy view of licking up his mess (like many men), but the reality is post orgasm he doesn't enjoy it, so the expected consequences after a few forced clean ups makes the experience of an orgasm outside me part of our discipline play.
    The confidence that has built up from control of his orgasms and cock has really given me power to push further in our relationship and explore both of our kinks more.

    So to sum up - feel sexy, you are a sexy Goddess and take control of the cock - you will be amazed what it does for your confidence and your relationship.

    Goddess D.

     
  2. henry58
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    henry58 Active member

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    Thank You for sharing Your story. You have majored on the sexual side of Your FLR and it looks like You have a very effective formula for Your needs and his. i can equate to the confidence thing when the Mistress looks and feels sexy, i certainly witnessed this with my Mistress. This also acted as an accelerator in Her confidence to create a broader FLR dynamic, to the point i was pretty much slave and bank machine. She had others who provided to Her sexual needs later in our relationship.
    At my age now looking back, i can only now truly understand the metamorphosis She went through, i'm often shocked that i didn't see the magnitude of this at the time. We are not together now, but that was down to another change in Her life and a strong desire to live it in the way She wanted there and then. The D/s side was no longer part of that for Her.
     
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  3. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Active member

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    Great post thanks for sharing!
     
  4. Goddess D and Sub B
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    Goddess D and Sub B Goddess D (High Heels and Butt Plugs)

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    Thanks for the comments.
     
  5. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Active member

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    Enjoyed the post very much. :)
     
  6. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Very nice post. The 5 rules for “Your Property” are very appropriate and should be followed by all of us that are locked and serve our Mistress’s
    Miss Shelly makes it simple for me. “It’s my property I’ll do with it how I please “
    No questions
    No discussion
    No Proplem.
    :)
     
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  7. spinpole2001
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    spinpole2001 New member

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    Awesome post and i really enjoyed the blog! Keep up the good work
     
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