First time without choice

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by handcuffedboy, Apr 10, 2019.

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  1. handcuffedboy
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    handcuffedboy Active member

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    it's the first time i'm locked without the choice to decide when to be locked
    what was your feeling when that happened to you?
    i'm trying to slowly get used to the loss of freedom
     
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  2. cagedjon
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    cagedjon Member

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    That's the ONLY way that I've ever been locked. It is the only way that I want to be locked. Enjoy
     
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  3. buildup
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    buildup Active member

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    Accept it
     
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  4. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Active member

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    I agree just accept it and have frustrated fun!!
     
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  5. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Active member

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    The frustration and the feeling of being securely under Her control is a wonderful thing, but it took a while to adjust to! Be patient and enjoy the journey!
     
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  6. Penney
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    Penney Active member

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    I've been locked this time for three weeks now. So yesterday I said to my wife that I had been locked a long time. Her reply was, well it seems a lot longer when your the one locked up; it doesn't seem that long to me. We just need to accept their wishes.
     
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  7. latexbound
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    latexbound Chastikey locked

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    Fun isn't it? :)
     
  8. handcuffedboy
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    handcuffedboy Active member

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    reality is very different from fiction
     
  9. R2002
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    R2002 Active member

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    I thought "holy s**t She is takingvthisvseriously it's not a game"
    I was both happy and scared
     
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  10. Elephantdonkey
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    Elephantdonkey Active member

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    You're lucky man! Keep it fun and consensual and you'll both love it!
     
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  11. MadameJs_boo
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    MadameJs_boo Member

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    Hmm... that's a trip down memory lane! It was nerve-wracking for sure! I mean, getting my cock locked up purely because she said so was something I wanted to experience. But, on the other hand, it was an anxious, uncertain moment, filling my mind with things like "Ohhhhhhh, snap! This is real, this is actually happening, she's in control now, ahhhh, I don't know what's going to happen! What if I don't like it? Or what if I do end up really liking it?" etc.
    Basically, these thoughts persisted constantly until the passage of time was finally able to wear them down. The first few times being put into the cage solely through her decision alone were super frustrating, fun; and overall, a watershed moment in helping to facilitate my acceptance of her control over me. It took a lot of patience and practice (at least a few months of random lockups) to really get comfortable with it and accept the loss of autonomy.

    Chastity, for the wearer, is about the journey and not the destination. Enjoy the ride!
     
  12. handcuffedboy
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    handcuffedboy Active member

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    and my cage is not removable without keys it's really escape proof, it's a lori's 2a with retainer ring
     
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  13. R2002
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    R2002 Active member

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    I had similar feelings (both happy and scared) when my Wife made clear that I was not permitted to have an emergency key - even when She or I go away on a trip separately
     
  14. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I still have an emergency key. Maybe because I'm a cyclist we both want me to have one.
     
  15. R2002
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    R2002 Active member

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    I'm a cyclist too - I include my bike as part of my daily commute. :)
     
  16. pamelamask
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    pamelamask Rubber Doll

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    Have the emergency key in a tamper evident container. I like to have mine in a small sealed envelope with y keyholder's signature and/or lipstick print across the seal. Available if needed in an emergency. But no way I'll use it otherwise.
     
  17. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Active member

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    Enjoy it. Many of us have been there. It's no longer a game that you decide when to wear it or remove it. It's submissive to accept her control over your cock and releases. It's a big step for you but one she'll love.

    I carry a spare key just in case too. My wife places a numbered security tag on me as well. I can remove my lock anytime I want but I have to destroy her security to remove the cage. My wife keeps the number of my tag in her phone. I don't ever forget my tag number but sometimes after a few months she might!

    Have fun, enjoy your forced chastity.
     
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  18. WhiteKnight
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    WhiteKnight Member

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    I think the first time you hand the key(s) to your KH - or better still get her to complete the lock-up - then things are out of your control. However I think the power exchange / mental side is, if anything, is even more important. This means that your KH needs to accept and even embrace that when, and if, she lets you out seriously is entirely up to her. (And I think a lot of women find this really challenging for lots of reasons.) If she is just going to let you out just because you whine long and hard enough then it's just a game and effectively you're topping-from-the-bottom and she's indulging you: "You lock me up when I want you to and then let me out when I want to you to."
    Not that's anything wrong with that: game-play or role-play can be great fun for both parties, just accept it for what it is.
    I always make sure that there are two keys. If we're together (and that's effectively all the time these days) then my KH has them both. She will carry one, usually around her neck: where she has lots of other silver chains and jewellery. The other one is kept locked away in a jewellery box and only she has the key.
    Somewhere I still have a Birdcage-type of silicone device which I found very comfortable and secure . . . to the point that I could happily run and cycle with it on and actually found it quite secure in that I couldn't pull-out. If I ever had to go away / over-night that's what I would wear. In an emergency you could cut it off in couple of second - but there never was one !
     
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  19. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Active member

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    I found it easier when she took over. It takes self-control to self-lock. For quite a while I did that; and while my Mrs loved it, she didn't enforce it or tell me to lock in any way. The day she finally started expecting it was the day I didn't have to worry about self-control and just go with the flow.

    What does yank my chain is when she teases about unlocks. The other night she led me on thinking I was getting unlocked. When I had the key in my hand, suddenly she turned off the light. The bedroom went completely dark and of course I couldn't see to get the cage off. She started chuckling and laid in bed. "Ooops. I guess you'll figure it out eventually." I couldn't help but chuckle at how fiendish that was.
     
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  20. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    When this started there was no real fantasy involved. We had been together 36 years. I wanted to show Her that She was the only one for me. We more or less played with a max of two weeks. Started February 2012. The beginning of 2017 it began to change. A little different attitude and teasing more pronounced and more often.

    In the spring She got interested in full belts which at the time I thought was a little odd. I said they are a lot of money, She said "If you wear it all the time it's worth it." Well, She made her own plan. And in August after it was fitted well She locked it for the first time and I have never unlocked it. The look in Her eyes made me shiver and that was a new beginning.

    It was quite awhile before it was off and not many times since then. It has only made things even better. If you make that commitment, make her way the only way.:+1:
     
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  21. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Once the initial days then days and nights of getting used the the cb2000 were over and we had the set up we thought (correctly as it turned out) I could endure it without a known release time; our joint thought was..

    Now it begins... it did and it continues

    I have since then been pretty much locked 24/7 in a number of devices with a few gaps here and there. Now though I know that even if I had to self lock again I will always be locked.
     
  22. TheMinistressGrace
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    TheMinistressGrace International key holding services

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    I guess it makes a whole lotta difference when your KH is not your wife or partner and doesn't live with you.
    In his situation, a lot of the motives most have expressed here don't apply as there's no romantic involvement. Also, I shouldn't be wrong assuming the psychological effects are different.
    In our case, it is more a matter of firmness from my side and resignation from his. He needs but mostly wants correction and it's a hell of a job to succeed, given the distance and the non-relationship status.
    G*
     
  23. Dfberns
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    Dfberns Living the dream, one day at a time

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    You are lucky. But really, you did have a choice. You choose to allow yourself to locked. Now having said that, I say again -- You are lucky. Your key holder has given you a special gift.

    Unfortunately I can't tell you how it felt for me, because it has yet to happen. Perhaps someday it will. Until that day I will accept the fact that my princess has not reached the level of confidence she needs to fully embrace her role.

    In the meantime I will continue to devote myself to meeting her needs and desires and enjoy watching the transformation slowly unfold....
     
  24. christoph
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    christoph Member

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    I think nobody can describe that exactly * only if it lives, knows how it feels * you have to experience it by yourself, otherwise you can not understand it * I wish everyone this happiness, for a very long & undefined time
     
  25. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    Is t it interesting that when we’re playing with Chastity in the beginning where we may hold the key or we have an “Emergency” key with us. We think this isn’t No Big Deal. I can do this.

    Than we give all the keys to our key holder and things change, even when you desperately want the cage off it’s not up to you. The sexual frustration is real.

    Chastity doesn’t Really begin untill you desperately want your cage Off and she says “NO”. This is what Chastity and orgasm denial is all about, their is Nothing you can do about it except be Very Very nice to your Keyholder and hope she allows you some free time.

    Chastity and being Locked is a way of Life. Get use to it.
     
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