First time in Chastity, The beginning of my journey

But I've always been the kind of person that would have one chocolate now, rather than the promise of more later.

Part of being ADHD, which I believe to be a natural human condition, exacerbated by the hectic world of screens and information thrown at us these days. When I visited my then 6 year olds classroom to see the teacher I couldn't focus with all the tons of stuff on the walls everywhere. In short, I have a hunters mentality in a modern world. I am focused while there is a clear prey ahead of me, but if something more interesting comes into my peripheral vision then the hunt shifts. This makes focusing on work or anything really difficult for me. And made me a pain to teach when I was at school.

I owe L my life. Without her I would still be a grubby little hippy in a bed sit, with no prospects. With her I am surprisingly successful, despite being a bit nutty, lazy and selfish. To use a football analogy..."That substitution has really turned things around in the second half"

Please feel free to comment, encourage, offer advice, especially advice for my poor, shy, out of her depth wife, who is taking it all in her stride. This is a long time coming, if you'll pardon the pun, and I am completely out of my depth, knowledge wise. I have to make this right. I have a lot to atone for.

I hope my journal resonates with some, and is enjoyed. I will try to be as open as I am able, and see where it leads.

Thanks for looking.

 

It's almost as if I have taken away any reason I ever gave her, or anything said in anger, to think that I don't love her. That is very empowering.

 

Another great day at home. I was helpful and attentive and catered to her needs. When she wanted to go for a walk I was well up for it. Boys weren't so we drove to the other side of the village and had a lovely walk. Stopped and took pictures of flowers and then our wedding day came up.

I expressed my regret at being off my head on C@ke and missing the first dance. I told her it was funny coz I got quite tearful yesterday when I was thinking/regretting it and had had a thought about remarrying her and getting setting things right. She wasn't up to the money spend, but the concept of renewing our vows in front of a few friends was very well received.

We also touched on how I think she saved my life. I wasn't heading anywhere good before we met.

She thanked me for the lovely walk when we got home. I got a very passionate kiss and as I pressed my cage into her, she pushed back which was very rewarding.

 

Thanks might keep it up. Just looking for a bit of validation and a way to process my jumble of thoughts and emotions over the last 4 days I guess. I tried the smallest ring, no chance. Got the second one on but too tight, then went back to the 2nd largest ring with the shortest spacer. More comfortable now, but still looking to upgrade quickly I think.

 

Thanks might keep it up. Just looking for a bit of validation and a way to process my jumble of thoughts and emotions over the last 4 days I guess. I tried the smallest ring, no chance. Got the second one on but too tight, then went back to the 2nd largest ring with the shortest spacer. More comfortable now, but still looking to upgrade quickly I think.

 

L hinted strongly that she would let me out and play tonight. I'm going to let her lead, and see what happens. I need a good night's sleep so I think even if I don't cum that I will stay unlocked for the night. I trust myself to lock up if I awake and can't get back to sleep, but I reckon I will sleep longer tonight with it off. At least for a while. Not being used to this physically and overdoing things might be detrimental to the long term goals.

 

The calming effect on the whole household is mindblowing to me. Who would have thought? Well you long timers will understand, I guess.

I want that to continue. But I am acutely aware that It's early days yet. Right I promised to go to bed now. I must be off. Wouldn't want to displease my incredible wife.

 

I didn't get to cum last night. L was too tired, and fell asleep playing with me. Was disappointed that when I touched her head affectionately she said "I'm not going down there" as it (for once) was not on my mind. That is my own doing. Making poor choices in the past for selfish reasons. Stayed out all night and got a better sleep. As she got up I asked L to tell me I'm not allowed to play with it, which she did say right away. "Yes dear" I dutifully Locked it back up in the shower. It helps me remember what's important all day. Helps me focus.

 

L wanted me to come tonight but she was not ready for penetration. She was falling asleep, waking up and feeling guilty for not rewarding me. I removed my device as it was chafing a bit and she held my balls whilst I played with myself.

I asked her to tell me "I wasn't allowed to come, that I had to save it for her" and she did. Felt really good. Had to persuade her it was ok. Go to sleep. I don't want to impose myself on her. Told her it would be so good then longer you make me wait, when you are ready. Told her I couldn't be happier. Now it off. Needed a rest as the ring area was feeling a bit warm and sore. Bought 2 Holy Trainer V4. Small and standard as I'm not sure which is best for size. Maybe one for day and one for night? Who knows!

Feel like L and I are getting closer. Tis a great thing. 23 years of marriage takes work...about time I did my share.

J

 

I sent her this text. L. If you are still sore, and you are not ready to make love, I don't want to mess up what is going to be a really lovely feeling when we do. I know you want me to feel rewarded, but just knowing that you want to helps sustain the feeling of closeness I have shared with you over the last week. Xxxx J
I'm reminded of the Monty Python song.

"Every sperm is sacred every sperm is great if a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate..."
Funny thing is I had a vasectomy years ago
I was more comfortable in the largest ring today. Less heat buildup around the balls. I may try sleeping in it but the lack of sleep is getting tiresome and I am very busy and active during the day. Still day off tomorrow. Gonna be tough. I would usually knock a couple out in the house on my own

 

Will try to get some more musings down tomorrow. A good time to process the intense emotional feelings that have come as a sweet bonus to a slight kink. By surrendering my happiness to my wife I become happier. I'm not a religious person, but Holy Shit Batman! Promised to go to bed now so offski for me comrades. Hope you are enjoying my journey. J

 

Awoke about 2am this morning, feeling well rested. L edged me wonderfully for a good 30 minutes, which was amazing until we realised the time. I had to come out of the cage or it was never going to go down. The need to pee making the whole experience quite intense. I was told maybe tonight! I am not to touch myself she told me. I haven't cum since we made love on Saturday, which is is probably twice as long as I have ever refrained from relieving myself. So I have left L going back to sleep, I would only toss and turn right now anyway, I going outside for a "J" then I will read myself back to sleep and try not to wake her up.

 

L held my unlocked manhood for about a minute this morning. It was wonderful. I said it was more intense than most times making love, certainly more recently. And that I don't remember ever waiting 5 days.

She is very pleased with how things are going I think. Not only do I think I am listening better, but also, because I am so in tune with putting her first, desperate for any word coming from her lushous lips, that I just instinctively hear her better. Like a penguin searching for it's mate amongst millions of other birds.

 

Broke one of the lugs on the side of the ring that holds the top pins. Had to put the 2nd largest ring on. The heat is building up a bit already. Glad the new ones are coming today. Looking forward to trying a smaller cage. And this has a built in lock. Two advantages:

1. No rattle
2. When I tried pressing it against her, she doesn't like the feel of the metal padlock or the pins that stick out.

 

Please feel free to comment on my blog. I am looking for advice and support to make our relationship ever stronger. Whether you are just starting out like me or have been through it all.

Happy Locktober people

 

My Holy trainer V4 Small arrived and is on and locked. Just in time the HOD600S has broken and will need super glue.

I have found my first day alone at home difficult as I am highly aroused. But L spoke to me on the phone and told me to be good. Subtle but effective. All this pent up arousal is for your pussy my love. I can't wait, I think she is looking forward to it too.

Started one of those DIY jobs that's been sitting on the back burner for a year or more. The need to atone is followed by the act is a thrill in itself. Sorted out the car insurance as well.

 

So. Today I thanked a friend...

"I can't say more, and don't even mention it to anyone, especially the wives. But thank you. Something about the situation you were in over the last 18 years and how kindly you dealt with it has had a profound effect on me and my relationship with L in an exceedingly good (not Mr Kipling) way. We are communicating like we should have been for 23 years. She is calmer and the boys are feeling the effects too. Thank you my friend

He was a born-again Christian until quite recently. 4 kids but never had penetrative sex with his still Christian wife. Apparently it works if it is smeared in.
But I just couldn't, and neither could L imagine that I would be such a caring supportive loving husband and father if I never got sex. This was part of what inspired me to want to improve myself.

They are now working things out, and things have improved very much for them, you will be pleased to hear. A while back I joked that he was a lucky man to be able to feel like it was the first time. They have both been very open about it to each other and now to me.

I said he was like a brother to me. Still. Not sure if any one of my male friends would understand if I confided in them.

Maybe one day when womankind inherit the earth, and all men have to be locked up by law....haha...Strange how the countries doing better with covid infections are led by women...or is it?

 

Even a little tension, the toilet wasn't flushing, was not drawn out into the usual battle like before. Quickly resolved, oh and I fixed the toilet.

I am a very happy boy

 

Early to bed and I was allowed out. L's confidence is obviously growing. First time ever my beautiful vanilla wife actually told me what I was doing wrong whilst I was licking her pussy. I immediately improved my actions and pleasured her to some sweet moans. After asking permission to come, she said "please!" And I came inside her for the first time in 5 days it was blissful.

I've tried both the small and the standard Holy Trainer, I like the snugness of the small one but the standard might be more fun when aroused. Going to sleep in the little one. 2nd largest ring is as comfortable as the large one. No burning sensation. Phew!

 

No negative feelings after a wonderful last night. Good day at work. My performance review went really well. Looking forward to going to bed locked up, with no expectations other than to please my lady with a massage. I am at her mercy. I tingle just thinking about it.

I gently suggested that there may come a time when I want her to hide the key, if the temptation became too much. I love the little mind games that we are playing. Never cruel, always kind. She just wants what is good for us. This will always be a mutually cooperative balanced relationship I hope. Sharing the chores and responsibilities of family life. Just with me taking more of the burden of vanilla life off her shoulders because I finally get it.

J

 

https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...le-chastity-from-my-female-perspective.12638/

After reading this above, I thought that perhaps L was feeling a little disappointed (I would be too if I wasn't enjoying the sensation of being locked up so much) that it took this to improve our relationship. This morning I raised it with her. She is pleased that we are both much happier, calmer, more in love. Whatever work eh? So pleased I have her support I wish I had thought of it sooner. Not gonna beat myself up about it, I'm a no regrets kinda person. But you can't help thinking.

I never read about the benefits before and thought I would try it for fun. However, it doesn't seem trivial anymore. It is fundamentally changing my life for one with complete fulfillment. I have always been happy in most aspects of my life, and despite lots of friction over the years, have always believed that tomorrow will be better. Now it really is, and I can only see us going from strength to strength. I want our bond to be unbreakable, unflappable, unfuckwithable.

Take it slow is common advice. What advice do you KH have for L? Especially relating to maintaining the psychological hold over me that is having such positive results now.
I have no expectations for her to change who she is, in or out of the bedroom. or really changing the dynamics of the relationship. I don't want her to take over all the decisions of life and money, not that she would want to, that's not her. Just knowing that I am so dedicated to her, by physically proving it, has had a wonderful effect on her confidence in us as a couple, and that I believe is slowly giving her more confidence in herself.

 

L is from Eastern Europe and grew up in a small apartment with a hoarder. So she likes a tidy house with not too much clutter. I grew up in a tidyish house so a bit of mess never really bothered me. Friday after work she cleans and drinks Prosecco so the weekend is free. I try to help but sometimes it has been easier and calmer to just let her get on with it, as my half-assed attempts have caused stress. Not so this evening. With far better communication we managed to work together and get it done. I know it seems mundane but these are important steps for us. I got plenty of genuinely affectionate moments throughout the evening, so I am very happy. #makingupforlosttime

 

Bit of a blow out with the 17 year old last night. I was able to be more supportive during the argument and suggest positive steps forward this morning. Things are still very much on track with our relationship.

After reading a blog, I told L that denying orgasm to me, if she has finished, as it were, when we make love, will only serve to bring us closer and make the next attempt enjoyable.

She really likes that I've stopped playing with myself for her. It makes her feel more special, wanted, needed I guess. She also expressed gratitude that she could see I was really trying. She said she had had a really lovely evening up to the argument, referring to kissing me. I told her that I got immense pleasure from it, and pleasure right now thinking about it.

We are both really starting to open up to each other. It is the nicest feeling. I have always wanted to make her happy and I feel like I now have the tools to do it.

Have friends over for lunch. I need to be careful that, even when a mate is round I continue to keep my attention on L. There have been times when I have strayed, not sexually but just chatting with people at a party or something, and her being a less confident talking to strangers where I have made her feel unprotected perhaps. Not that she is nervous about our best friends coming, but it is good practice for the next larger social gathering. So in 2022 then!

Sleeping a lot better now. Rather than pressing my morning glory in the vain hope it will arouse her, what a plonked, I have no choice but to have a wee and go back to sleep.

No expectations. That's what I told her. I only want what is best for her. She loves making love to me, long may that continue, it's just that now she knows that if she's not in the mood, she doesn't need to feel obligated, or feel she is upsetting me by not helping me to cum. It empowers us both if our timing is off and there is no pressure.