This happened last night. A quick introduction first. My wife and I are in our mid 40s, married with little kids, both professionals. Prior having kids we had an outstanding sex life with lots of kinky components in it like fisting and bondage, although not chastity. Kids, our demanding careers and life events made our sex life drop very low. We still have sex, but much more rarely and always in the most vanilla possible. Over the last couple of years I have been intrigued by the idea of chastity and its reputation of greatly changing the emotional connection within the couple. I bought a few chastity devices, Kink3D Cobra S seems to be the only one that I tolerate so far. I brought up the idea of chastity to my wife a few months ago. She first laughed and couldn’t understand why I wanted it. One complication in our relation is that we are both sexually submissive, so she didn’t immediately get the vibe of putting me in chastity. She didn’t reject the idea though, and once we used it during sex: she would keep me locked up until I made her cum in other ways. Then she unlocked be and asked to please with traditional penetration. This was a couple of months ago. Then last night, for some reason I was sooooo horny that I couldn’t sleep. My wife was trying to sleep, she also couldn’t sleep but for other reasons. She was trying to sleep and was not in the mood for sex at all. Looking at her in bed in the dark, beautiful, would only make my horniness worse. I tried to seduce her into a massage, kisses and caresses, but she would just get more annoyed at me for not letting her sleep. So I had a crazy idea, I told her “I am very sorry, I don’t know why but tonight I am incredibly horny. I see you are not in the mood for play and are getty mad at me. This is a crazy idea but perhaps I could wear my chastity cage and see if it makes me calm down”. Expecting a negative reply that she didn’t want to play any kinky game because she was too tired, to my surprise she replied “Oh OK, yes!”. I was shocked, so I asked confirmation “is it OK if I wear my chastity cage and give you the key?” She replied immediately and briefly “Yes sure!” So I got off bed, grabbed my Cobra cage, went to the bathroom and forced it on my half erected penis. I twas a bit painful for the first 5-10 minutes until I lost the erection. Then I went back to bed and gave her the key. She immediately grabbed it and put it in the drawer of her night stand and laid back to bed. We kissed lovingly then she told me to let her sleep. I couldn’t sleep much. The cage helped only that much on my horniness. It suppressed my erections, but I was constantly thinking at what just happened: my lovely wife just decided that putting a chastity cage is the normal way of dealing with a horny husband. This morning when the alarm got off we kissed and hugged, she looked at me and asked if I was still caged. Of course I was. So she asked “Do you want to stay caged today?” I wanted it, but first I told her all the emotions I went thought overnight when she got on board with caging me to take care of my unwanted horniness. The we both agreed to give it a try and keep me caged for the rest of the day. She was concerned about safety, so she put one of the two keys in a sealed envelope signed by her with “I Love You” on the tape. The second key is on her work key ring, she will be working till late tonight. Before leaving the house this morning, she came to me and showed me the key on her work key ring. She also said “I will release you next time I want sex, could be tonight”. It is possible, but I don’t know if she means it for real that my release is undecided. Although it was suggested by me, this is the first time I get caged to be denied due to a misalignment of sexual desire between us. So far I like it. This is also the longest amount of time I have been caged. Previously it has always been 5-6 hr no more than that. Not it is since last night at 1am and it’s going to be at least till tonight around midnight. My penis is fine but my balls are a bit sore, I might need to get some extra recommendations in this forum regarding this. I know my story is just a little step compared to the forum members that are chaste 24/7. But it was an emotionally pleasant experience.
I'm at 5 weeks in give or take. Nothing compared to some here I know. For me though first few days/week was hardest mentally. Key for me least was accepting it is what is, I get out when she decides. It gets easier.
You'll get there if you want to. I'm lucky I guess I only do 7/10 day lockups so far. So there is light at end of tunnel. It's all your in head. Was in mine anyway. Good luck
Duration of chastity is not as important as the change in dynamique. You sound close so your sexuality is hers too. The female should decide how your shared sexuality plays out. It's a wonderful experience to wait patiently and listen to the rhythms of a female you adore. Best of luck to you both.
Eventually my wife let me out. Something unexpected happened, I developed acute pain on the side of my left testicle that was too strong to let it go. I have been locked up 20 hours including 7 hours in bed, my first night time. I never had a problem during my daily 6-8 hr lock up periods. I don’t understand. Either the cage ring is the wrong size, or I accidentally injured myself while in bed. As soon as I recover from the pain, we agree that chastity will be the way we deal with my horniness when she doesn’t want sex.
IMHO you will never get the full suite of relationship benefits by just playing with chastity. You need to fully commit both mentally and physically before you can fully exploit there step change in your marriage.
My submissive Queen was reluctant at first, but as she realized her benefits, things started to change. Hang on for a wild ride as she embraces her role and newfound power.
I have had this before. You may require a larger diameter ring, a different shaped ring, a larger ring gap or maybe just a readjustment. Eventually I had to step up to a 55mm ring because of this. It is not uncommon for men to have tangled vessels down there, and that couple with, honestly, huge balls, means the ring is finnicky.
Was the pain in the actual testicle, or in the scrotal skin covering it? Also, is your left testicle the higher of your pair? I find that my left one tends to want to ride higher up the side of the gap between ring and cage on that side and the scrotal skin gathers there rather than lower down where the gap is bigger. When this happens it can generate an intense burning sensation. Ideally I'd like to get a set up with a bigger gap around the sides and maybe a little less at the bottom. If you're like me, the testicle isn't actually hurt or damaged, but the skin in that area can get sore.
Thanks for all the replies. The pain was on the actual testicle, not the skin. After two days that I removed the cage I am back to normal. I wander whether I am starting with a too small cage/ring setup. My wife claims that my cock is definitely bigger than average, and I think I have larger than average balls too. I suspect that the erections in the small cage+ring were making the ring pull too much on the testicles until the prolonged pulling made it sore. I am using a cobra cage S with size 3 (1 7/8 in, 47.6mm) curved ring. I should try to size up. I am considering a Jailbird too, since the metal ring is thinner and might reduce the pressure on the testicles.
I have a jailbird and got the double ring because the thinner ring dug in too much. You can try the single but make sure you order it so the fit is perfect and no growth can occur.
Awesome beginning. I love that your wife allows you to wear the cage. Maybe when you get the sizing sorted she may insist on you wearing it indefinitely.