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First day being a keyholder.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Rottenspots, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    This is my first day being a keyholder. After infidelity almost wrecked my family I decided this could be a second chance. So I put on my big girl panties and went to work taking control. This is a new step for us after an almost failed 16yr marriage. Stepping into the roll of Ma'am has improved our homelife a great deal so far but this is a very new experience for both of us. Tips and tricks are welcome from experienced users. I purchased him a CB-6000s for starters, and today is the first day of wearing it. I awoke to a set of tiny keys and some lovely pics of my hubby locked away. I think I can really dig this ;). Love to all.
     
  2. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Welcome to CM, I hope you find this place useful. :)

    Infidelity is a hard pill to swallow, and the side-effects can be even worse... Kudos for choosing to focus on improving your strength and sexual dexterity. I've done the same in the past; the work is always worth it, because you will benefit from personal growth - no matter what happens in the relationship.

    I'm very familiar with tease and denial through D/s. However, the role of a keyholder is new to Me as well. To say that I am enjoying his physical chastity... would be quite the understatement.

    Sending you good vibes as you rebuild your relationship. Happy keyholding. :love:
     
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  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    heloo @Rottenspots@Rottenspots giggle, that a funny name. welcome to here and hope that You like it here.
     
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  4. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Welcome and congratulations on your new role. I am curious about your situation and wondering if you have resolved any of the issues that led to the infidelity. In my opinion infidelity is usually a symptom of something wrong.

    I hope the core of his reasons for his weakness have been addressed, cause locking his penis up may make you feel better, but your trust is false if it is enforced with the cage and not respect. I will say that my kh loves the fact that I can never cheat(with my penis anyway), but that is a side benefit.

    Hope to hear more of your story and plans for the future. Good luck and welcome again.
     
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  5. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Thank you! Good vibes are needed around here, it has been a terrible year for me and the hate has almost destroyed everything I know. I have never been a Dominate but I am naturally dominate in most situations. I just finally snapped out of having to be the "good wife" because he was a terrible husband. So instead of taking a lover and breaking our vows or leaving him, I control him. This seems to be something he has needed because he has flourished and many aspects of his life have improved. I am not quite fully evolved into this new roll but I am willing to see where this leads us.
    How long should I make him wear the cage for the first time? He is new to this as well, I want to push him but not break him.
     
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  6. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    I think that an untreated mental health issue lead to some of the reasons behind his infidelity. He was very manic and impulsive, diagnosed as a type 1 bi-polar after being hospitalized. He started exhibiting several self destructive behaviors, was busted for shoplifting even though we live comfortably. Impulse control is hard for him if hes not medicated.
     
  7. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Oh, and as far as trust. There is none. He is a compulsive liar, especially if he is manic. Our agreement is if you can't prove it then I will not believe it. So he wears a body cam when not in my presence.
     
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  8. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Hello! Glad you like the name and thanks for the warm welcome.
     
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  9. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    After all you have been through, it is pretty amazing that instead of leaving him, you chose something as unusual and radical as Chastity.

    Your commitment to your relationship and to your family is amazing.

    Taking charge of his penis can have many benefits. For me, Chastity is the difference between “playing” woman control, and experiencing real woman control:

    When I am locked up, it is very hard for me to step up, contradict or act against my wife’s desires.

    For lock up length:
    - Try to make him do a full week, then 2 weeks, then a month, I’d say.
    - the CB6000 is fun for a start, but it’s not the best cage out there. Is he circumcised? That device is not easy to wear for uncut men.
    - Make sure his penis stays healthy and clean. Maybe let him unlock every 2/3 days at the beginning, to make sure all is good.
    - make sure you keep him horny by teasing him a few times each day. Doesn’t need to be much, but reminding him that you control his dick will keep him horny, and he will be far more responsive to your control.

    Anyway, congratulations for your courage and determination. That’s Badass :)
     
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  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  11. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    This made me smile. Thank you for that! He is circumcised and I kind of planned on managing his bathing. I bathe him a lot so I think cleaning his cage might become our new thing. Today the only complaint has been learning to urinate without making a mess and he needs a longer locking pin/spacer because it's snug on his testicles. I'll change those out and incorporate a little tease time per your suggestion. Thanks again!
     
  12. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Tell him to sit down, then no worries. ;)
     
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  13. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Dude......That was a wealth of information. Thank you so much. You've been at this a while it seems. I think we will probably go to a different device soon. He will probably spend a lot of time out of it at home at first. I think I got the cage too big, when we were measuring he was flopping it about and im sure he wasn't flacid enough. This will be a work in progress it seems. ;)
     
  14. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    Oh :rolleyes:

    When I used a CB, I had a few Qtips with me, and I would use one to line up everything, and avoid the mess
    But it’s not super precise, so he should seat down anyway.
    Also, some men see their penis shrink quite a bit, so the tip is nowhere close to the opening anymore... It is not my case so I’m not really sure what they do then :confused:
     
  15. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    You said you got the CB6000s right?
    If it’s still too big for him, you could have a look at the Holy Trainer Nano. Their devices are not too expensive, and a nice upgrade from the CB.

    https://www.holytrainer.com/male-chastity-device/male-chastity-device.asp
     
  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Thanks, I guess I started researching devices in 07, got a lot of information here, and several blogs from people living the lifestyle. Only been wearing one for a couple so there are many here that have worn theirs longer. I just put it all together so when starting off they knew where to start and what to expect. Some have some unrealistic expectations. Good luck
     
  17. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Ha! We've discussed this prior to today and he was skeptical. He works outside most of the day and is curious as to how he can pee outdoors. Lol, I think I'll have to hop a squat and show him how we go outside.
     
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  18. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    That's exactly how I go at work, drop pants, do a slight bend, and pee backwards. Home is strictly a sitting activity.
     
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  19. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    I really want him to be comfortable as possible. Finding the right fit might take us some time. I have questions. I understand these are not escape proof. I didn't really know a guy could pull out of the back of a device. If that occurred could he re- insert without a key?
     
  20. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Ah, the great outdoors. If he still whines too much, maybe he could try one of these:

    [​IMG]

    I can attest, they work great with a little practice. :D
     
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  21. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    Hell, I want one for me! I've giggled at the pics but never commited to buying one. I may change that. Ha!
     
  22. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Maybe they'll have a 2-for-1. :D
     
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  23. Rottenspots
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    Rottenspots New Member

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    I can't wait to show him that. :D Y'all are cracking me up.
    :+1:
     
  24. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    ha ha thats awesome! Honestly though it should work!
     
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  25. Metalman
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    Metalman Well-Known Member

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    Most people agree that Chastity devices are not escape proof unless they are locked by a piercing.

    Personally, after I masturbate and orgasm, I don’t really want to be locked up anymore... so if I would escape to orgasm, I’d feel pretty sour to have to put it back in, and I would not do it again. But everyone is different.

    I think it is always possible to get back in; although if the fit of the cage is snug, and the penis long, it can be hard to do from experience.

    Concerning infidelity however, if the cage is fit properly, it is not posssible to remove the testicules. So unless he finds a lover who is ok with a plastic cage hanging of his balls, he won’t get laid no more haha :D
     
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