Hi, I've had a cheap chinese cage which we ordered from aliexpress for about a year. Until recently my girfriend and I only used it once or twice during play (i.e I was locked up for a few hours max - we did do one particularly fun scene where she was fisting me and told me I'd have to unlock myself if I wanted to cum, so I had to unlock my own cage while being fisted quite vigorously which was pretty fun). Recently though we've hit a rough patch in our relationship and she's decided to stay with a family member for the past two months. We've kept in close contact and we are also going to couples therapy and we both love each other and are trying to repair things. Recently she's disclosed that she sometimes feels like I don't give her the consideration she needs (both in the bedroom and elsewhere) and because our communication hasn't always been ideal these feelings have festered and led to bigger problems. Since she moved out about 2 months ago we haven't had sex at all, and she's told me that she wants to wait until she feels comfortable and wants to take things at her own pace when it comes to doing sexual things. I very much want to address this and in the non-sexual realm I'm doing a lot things to be responsive to her concerns, but when it came to the issues with sex, because right now she doesn't want to have any sex at all, and only wants to resume relations at a time and pace of her choosing, I suggested that I wear the cage 24/7 until she wants otherwise. I want her to feel more in control and not have any pressure to have sex. I've told her it would be entirely fine if I wear it for the next month at least and then we can re-evaluate. If she wants me to take it off at any time during that month it's up to her, but if she wants me to leave it on entirely and not take it off at all that's also fine. If she wants us to do sexual things I also told her I'd like to leave the cage on for the first few times if she was ok with that, so we could just focus on things that don't involve my penis or my orgasms. Before I proposed this I wore the cage for a full day and night to see if I could sleep and do regular stuff in it and I had no problems. She agreed to this proposal. I was also a bit worried because the cage itself is just a cheap one I got off aliexpress and I didn't really measure very well . I think the base ring is way too big (50mm) because I can slide 3 fingers under it lol. I hadn't done any research when I bought it so I just thought bigger was better then. I probably can escape it if I really wanted, but I don't think I could put it back on, and I'd never forgive myself for going back on my word to her to wear it so I have no desire to try to escape, especially when it would be evident that I'd done so. I've just hit the 48 hour mark wearing the cage and so far I actually love it. Sometimes I don't notice it's there but of course sometimes I do, and it feels like a lovely reminder of my commitment to her and our relationship. I don't know how I'm going to feel a week or two (or four) in with it on. We see each other two or three times a week so she's going to unlock me those days so I can remove it just for cleaning purposes and then put it back on, and I'm showering with it on as well and doing my best to clean myself it without removing it. I don't have the keys so I can't remove it unless she's here (which is the point of course). Even though I did very poor research and ordered a cheap Chinese one, I've had no issues with pinching etc. so far. I think the diameter of the tube might be just a smidge to narrow since I'm on the thicker side and I'm planning to order some smaller base rings to test those out, but it takes a bout a month to get anything off of aliexpress. I think the gap may also be too large also because I know when I played with it before I could pull my penis out if I tried, but I don't know if making the base ring smaller would also help that. Again at this point I don't want to be able to get out, especially because I don't think I could get back in, and so she'd know I'd broken my word so that is deterrent enough for me. I'll attach a pic below, if anyone could give me feedback on the fit or any other advice I'd love to hear it.
Sounds like you are having more luck with your cage than i am with mine. I am getting pinched and my testicles feel like they are splitting open. Mine is my first device i have tried made of plastic and also cheap. i think i will need to try a metal cage to wear it longer than 30 minutes. Good luck with re engaging with your girlfriend
1st off from a female that's Been in a place where you and your other half are in a relationship now, you have offered a lovely thing for her own well being and I think your consideration will be took note of from your partners side. As for your cage.... I would say it may be to big but you also have to remember if your having it on fully for a mnth atleast u may find that extra space helps ( can still rub but would if it was to small as well) I would advise getting some kind of strap to keep it up more and in place. It's a bit late now but next time it's off just take the time to find what best position for your foreskin etc as it can be diffrent for each device and has a play on how well u sit with the ring etc
This is a very nice approach of you and I’m truly happy that this works! A true gesture to her! For me, wearing the cage is actually more of my kink than my wife’s and luckily for me, I’m not in your situation! To comment on your cage: The base ring seems to be a bit large… But for the cage design itself, it’s actually one I have and have worn for a few years for different lengths of time. From a few hours to a few weeks (without removing!) so I guess it is a very good choice and depending on your anatomy I think you’ll be okay, wearing this for a longer time!
My opinion on cage fit, I’d say the base ring is definitely too big. Cage likely will be just right once the base ring issue is adjusted and your body re-adjusts to the new normal…this is why break in periods are important but sounds like you have some of that part figured out. As far as security (keys or not), nearly every standard ball trap cage cane be defeated with some lube or soap and water in the shower/bath…fairly normal to be able to slip your cock out, and possibly back in. If the fit is correct you may still be able to but not get your balls between the ring and the cage through the gap…again pretty normal. Only real way for security is to get pierced but you’re still figuring things out and need to do what you can for the communication aspect of your relationship. The cage isn’t going to solve that.
Longer cage, smaller ring, my dude. That ring wants to be near your pelvis most of the time, even if it gets pushed away a bit when you get excited. Congrats though, here's hoping it continues well!