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Finally embracing who I really am.

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by wannabe slave d, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. Hi all, I've been a member here for a good few years now, but it's a long time since I had anything worth contributing other than sharing the odd link etc.

    If you search my old threads, you'll see that I was in a long term relationship with a partner who had minimal interest in my kinks, but because she loved me would indulge me now and again. However, deep down I was unfulfilled sexually and psychologically and always hoped that somehow or other, she'd come round.
    This never really happened. There were also other issues and over the last year or so we were together, we just seemed to drift apart as partners/lovers and almost became like two people just sharing a house.

    Finally, just over a year ago we split. Amicably, I'm happy to add and it means the world to me that we're still very close friends.

    Towards the end of our relationship my partner mentioned in an almost casual way that there was a 'massage parlour' in our local village, on top of the shops. We once sat in a cafe/bar opposite and watched punters coming and going. Because our sex life had started to dry up, partly as a result of libido sapping medications she was on, she jokingly suggested that I pay a visit. We joked about it fairly regularly and although I still loved her very much and wouldn't have even considered going while we were still together, it was filed away as an option if things continued to deteriorate between us.

    Having now found myself with no ties, and a new flat in the same area (walking distance to the village). I finally paid a visit last Summer. I saw a stunning blonde German girl in her 20s with an incredible body. We had amazing vanilla sex and it felt fantastic after over a year without.

    However, as stunning as she was, she was my second choice. I'd noticed a beautiful Danish girl on their site who did all manner of kinky stuff and I'd planned on seeing her. Unfortunately after I'd sorted out the funds and booked the time off work, it was just my luck that she wasn't working that week, which is why I saw the German girl.

    After the usual miserable British winter, the stress of Christmas and the bleakness that New Year as a single person can sometime bring, I decided that a visit to the parlour was in order and this time to finally meet my Danish Goddess.

    I wasn't disappointed.

    As good as the experience with the German girl was, it felt very much like a business transaction, no genuine rapport. Great sex, but a little distant, not even real kissing.
    This time was completely different, I felt totally comfortable with my Danish Goddess almost immediately and the chat we had before anything physical started was as important as anything sexual we go up to.

    Although I wanted vanilla sex with her at least for the first time, I was keen to ask her about her dominant tendencies and confessed my chastity fetish, asking her if this would be something she'd indulge me with. I could tell from the broad grin on her face when she said yes that she genuinely enjoyed being in charge and in fact from that point on, she was very much in charge, albeit in a subtle, understated way. Mixed with her distinctive humour and personality, this made me feel amazing, as if I was having a form of therapy as much as anything else. Finally free to discuss my fetish with someone who had plenty of experience and enjoyed the dominant role, I felt an enormous sense of liberation and excitement.

    We'd maybe been chatting for five minutes when she casually offered to be my keyholder, a service she wouldn't charge me any extra for, although she did say it would be extra for teasing texts and pictures while I was locked. She exuded a primal sexual energy which drove me wild when she grinned and reminisced about other 'dirty boys' she'd enjoyed keeping locked before.

    When I'd picked my jaw up from the floor, I dithered a little, saying I wasn't sure if I was ready for that, primarily because I only own a CB6000 and a CB6000s, and I know how these are impractical for more than a few days, both in terms of comfort and hygiene. And also out of fear. I imagined what I'd do if she just disappeared off the radar with my key, but luckily for me, she reassured me that there would be no point her doing that, I could make a lot of trouble for her if I got over my embarrassment and informed the police for instance. Besides, she told me she liked working there and had no intentions of disappearing. I'd thought about an online keyholder before which in some cases would pose the same risks and without the bonus of real physical interaction with this gorgeous creature (not to judge or put down anyone with an online keyholder).
    She also spoke with great authority and intelligence about communication, consent and boundaries, which made me feel really safe and comfortable with her.

    Before she even started licking my shaved balls and getting me hard for some mind blowing sex, we'd already decided that once I had a 'real' device (I'm now saving up for a Mature Metal device) that I could wear comfortably for longer than a few days, then I'd happily surrender my key to my Goddess.

    I went away that day walking on air, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I was back.

    We'd agreed that I'd wear my CB0006s for the next session, which would involve bondage and a lot of teasing.
    This took place last Sunday and was even more mind blowing. My Goddess came into the room full of smiles and greeted me with a lovely kiss, and after a bit of a general chat, I told her what I wanted out of the session. Before long I was secured to the bed and she told me she was going to get a cup of tea, leaving me with a giggle and a cheeky wink, tied, locked up and watching the porn that was playing on the wall mounted tv.

    A few minutes later I heard cheerful female voices, chatting and giggling, and my Goddess was saying 'Come and have a look'. I was shocked when she entered with another gorgeous young lady, decked out in sexy lingerie with an amazing figure. She seemed quite young and shy and my Goddess introduced her as 'my apprentice'. It turned out she hadn't been there too long and was being 'shown the ropes' so to speak.

    She seemed to be unfamiliar with the concept of male chastity and devices but then seemed very interested and amused as my Goddess explained what it was all about, she was soon playing with the cage and tickling my balls as my Goddess played with my nipples. Next thing, they started kissing and feeling each other's breasts. I'd never experienced anything like this, it felt like my eyes were popping out of my head!

    Shortly after, another girl appeared at the foot of the bed, having just wandered in to see what was going on. So I now had three gorgeous women, looking at me and talking about me like I was just an object, giggling and having fun. I had been forbidden to speak unless spoken to and had to address all the ladies as 'Mistress' when they asked me anything. The sense of erotic humiliation was very strong.

    My Goddess again took my breath away, after the other two girls had departed and I confessed that I'd hardly stopped thinking about her since my last visit and that I was extremely excited by the idea that when I was finally locked in a secure device and she had the key, she'd still be having lots of sex. To this, she nodded slowly and seductively with a big smile on here face. Then, giggling, she dropped the bombshell-

    "I'll make you watch."

    OH. MY GOD.

    Was this really happening? It was more than I could have hoped for. I had thought that she may possibly agree to phone me at an arranged time and let me listen to her having sex, but I never though watching would even be an option. I couldn't see your average punter really being up for it. However she then explained that she knew a 'stud', an ex male escort that she called in at times such as these. It would cost a little extra but she had done it plenty of times before and it seemed like it was no big deal to her, in fact it was clear that she would enjoy it.

    After an incredible teasing session, which ended with me blindfolded and my Goddess sat firmly on my face with me eagerly pleasing her as she ground her hips and made contented noises. I felt as if I'd died and gone to heaven as she skilfully unlocked and removed the cage part of the CB and started edging me expertly, until without being touch, my cock quivered helplessly, erupting in a mind blowing orgasm.

    So that's where I'm up to. Despite some outdated old feelings still kicking around in my head (catholic guilt..ha! The knowledge that this is still a minority interest that the majority would find weird, the concept of a middle aged man paying a girl half his age to do this, instead of being an alpha and just getting a 'normal' girlfriend), I have to say that I feel happier and more alive than I've felt in years.

    I finally have a Mistress! A Goddess that I worship. I've already started to think of her that way, even though I've only seen her twice and it could be a while before I'm properly locked for her. It's extremely exhilarating to think about what has already happened and more to the point what will be happening over the next few months.

    I'm very lucky that I'm able to confide in both my Sister (who has turned out to be dominant; our Mother has a lot to answer for!..:-D ) and my best friend.Luckily for me, neither of them judge me in the slightest and are happy that I'm following my instinct to become the true me.

    I don't know whether I'm 'getting this out of my system' before 'settling down'or if this is the start of a new journey, although I do rather suspect it's the latter.

    I've now got a Fetlife profile (I'm 'slave-id' on there) and would love to interact with any Mansion members that are on there, as it can seem a daunting and lonely place at first, but I'll wind this mammoth piost up now, sorry for rattling on.

    I hope that this thread turns out to be a journal where I can report my future experiences with my Goddess and hopefully find out more about myself as I travel this path. Thanks for reading.....
    slayergirl and Mash2214 like this.
  2. So, I had another amazing session with my Goddess this Sunday and I had some exciting news to share with her.

    I've managed to get the money together for my MM device (still not decided between Jailbird and Queen's Keep) and I've just ordered the sizing rings. My Mistress is as excited as me about it. I think it's been a while since she's had any keys to hold.

    This time I locked my CB000s on and left the keys at home, I also had my 10 speed vibrating butt plug in.
    She was actually stood behind the reception desk when I arrived at the parlour, looking stunning in lingerie and heels.

    I got a lovely greeting "Hello gorgeous, you look nice." which does wonders for your ego if you're a middle aged man with no hair.
    She came round the counter and gave me a big hug, kissing my neck while I squeezed her bum. I was so, so glad to be back in her presence again.
    She asked me to wait in the bedroom for her and I said I'd get things ready, the straps and cuffs needed to be retrieved from under the mattress. After a minute or two, she brought me in a drink of juice and said she wouldn't be long.
    She also said "Are we going to be kinky today?" all excited like a little girl.
    I said, "Course, we are, you should know me by now", to which she positively glowed. She said, "I've been kissing and cuddling all week, I need to do something filthy.", "Then I'm your man, sweetheart," I replied.
    I love how at ease I am with her after only three visits, she really is like a friend. Until the session starts properly that is, then she's a little bitch!

    After a few minutes, she re-entered the room and we had a really nice chat. We talk a lot about the kinky mindset, what determines it, past experiences and what we're going to do over the next few months.

    Last time, she absolutely floored me by telling me that when I'm locked into my MM device and she has the keys, she'd make me watch her with a lover, which blew my mind. It's been on my mind fairly constantly since then.
    However, I'm a bit nervous too and I asked her a bit about her stud and what I could expect from the session.

    She told me his name, age, where he was from and that he has an eight inch cock.

    I asked if he would be dominant towards me and she said "Of course" as if it was obvious.
    This just made me shiver with excitement. It's hard to even explain why, this is uncharted territory for me but I can't deny my inner feelings.

    Sensing my fragile state of part shock, part busting with horniness, she then added. "I'll make you suck his cock."

    I almost burst out of the CB at this. She said "Would you like that?"
    "Maybe" I said, coyly. She looked at me as if to say "Don't lie you little bitch, you know you'll love it."
    "Ok, yes" I said. "It's a big step, but yes"

    For the rest of the hour, I was in absolute heaven, she was a lot more strict than last time, employing a lot more verbal humiliation, fiddling with the butt plug's control, keeping me on my toes, and really enjoying the fact that she couldn't unlock me, even if she wanted to.

    She really is stunningly beautiful, and I felt like I was in a complete trance as she brought her face up close to mine, noses touching as if to give me a big kiss, then just saying "No" and pulling away, laughing. She also started calling me her 'cuck' and kept reminding me of how she can't wait to have me watch her with her stud.

    After a while, she sat firmly on my face and I was in absolute heaven for a good twenty minutes or so. She squeezed my balls, pinched my nipples, licked the tip of my glans, that was protruding from the CB as I did my very best to please her orally.

    Judging from her movement and the noises she was making, I was doing a pretty good job..

    After she enjoyed a noisy orgasm, she got off me and we continued talking ass she played with my balls, stroked my body and made me worship her amazing breasts.
    All too soon, the session was over and she was untying me.

    The fact that I hadn't come was pretty much irrelevant, this had been the most exciting session yet.
    We resumed our friendly chatting as I got dressed, she asked what I was doing for the rest of the day.

    I told her I had to practise for a gig I'm doing in about 3 weeks. She was really interested, asking where, what time, what songs I'd be doing etc. We've already talked about music and have a few shared favourite artists, she's a bit of a rock chick!
    She said she'd come and watch me perform, but said I couldn't acknowledge her on the night, she'd slip in, watch me and then slip out.
    Ok, she may not come, but if she does, I'll be blown away.

    She seemed keen to stress that although she's a naturally bubbly person, who exudes a down to earth sexiness, she genuinely likes me and thinks I'm a 'very cool person'.
    She also said that I don't look anything like the age I am (48). Shucks, what can I say. I'm blessed with a young looking face and I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Hair's all gone mind, but not a lot I can do about that.

    Her comments made me feel like I could have floated up to the ceiling, cartoon love hearts erupting all over.

    She said, "I like slave boys, because they're more polite and intelligent".
    She was also very pleased with the gift I brought for her -chocolate and porn. She said I'm getting off to a very good start as a slave.

    The DVD was a compilation of the amazing Maitresse Madeline.
    For those who don't know her-
    Which I know she'll enjoy, as she's so similar in her style of domination.

    So now, I have a long wait. Once I've ordered the device, I expect it'll be a 6-8 week wait for delivery, then I'll need to get used to wearing it. I'm thinking if I get up to 7-10 days 24/7, with no issues sleeping etc, then I'll be ready to hand over the keys.

    The way I see things going is like this- 1st session, me locked into the new device. An intense teasing session, with whatever surprises she decides to throw in (she's already mentioned fucking me with a strap on-yikes!).

    Then I go away locked up for two weeks, all the while receiving teasing texts and pictures from her.

    After two weeks I return to be tied up to watch her with her stud.

    Then I go away, still locked up for another two weeks.

    Finally, I return to be teased more, unlocked, teased some more and finally allowed to release.

    Obviously, I'm fairly inexperienced when it comes to being locked up for longer than a few hours. I did a week in my CB600 when I was with my ex and it wasn't too bad apart from some comfort and hygiene issues, but from everything I hear and read, assuming the the measurements are correct and the 'breaking in' period has gone smoothly, then the sky's the limit for lock up times.

    It would be good if any experienced steel wearers could share their views on the first big lock up.

    I feel like I need this so badly, when I returned home from seeing my Goddess on Sunday, I waited about four hours, looking at pictures I have of her saved on my pc (face blurred out, but there's no mistaking that body) before unlocking myself and wanking.

    It was ok, but I was wishing I was properly locked for her.

    Ah well, patience is a virtue and all that.

    Any feedback would be welcome, thanks.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  3. My feedback is my Holy Trainer is several inches away from my body right now, which is a bit of a problem as I have a tight pair of jeans on!
    Steve-0 and wannabe slave d like this.
  4. Great experience,wannabe! My journey started with a pro domme, also. If only She had locked me up and given me the chastity experience that you are getting, many things might have been very different! Enjoy your journey!
    wannabe slave d likes this.
  5. I'm locked in a jailbird for a month now and may not be free for a long time yet, it will be at my K/H's discretion. Last time it was 2 months.
    wannabe slave d likes this.
  6. Ok, so yesterday I saw my Mistress for the first time since March.
    It's seemed like a really long time and a few things have changed since then..

    I ordered my Jailbird around 6-7 weeks ago, so hopefully I shouldn't have too long to wait, however it feels like a few goalposts have been moved since I last updated here.
    Firstly, my Mistress is no longer working at the parlour which is about a 15 minute walk from my house.
    I knew that I'd have to miss out seeing her in April, due to paying for the Jailbird, then she went off on holiday ( I knew this from 'stalking' her on Twitter) and after she returned, her name still wasn't appearing on the rota on their site.
    I phoned a couple of times and firstly was told that she was taking some time off, then the second time they said they didn't know when she'd be back. Eventually her name and pictures disappeared from the site.

    Luckily for me, she'd given me details of her Adultwork.com profile, so I knew that she was still working at a place I could reach on public transport (I don't drive) in about 90 minutes, so I decided to take the plunge and make an appointment.

    The other development over the last couple of weeks is that I've got on a dating site and made a few connections. After feeling despondent about my Mistress' disappearance, I started to think that I should think about moving things on with that area of my life, with the result being that I've got a date next Saturday with a woman who is very attractive and seems really nice, we've been messaging frequently and have a lot in common.

    Yesterday morning, I almost cancelled my appointment with my Mistress. A combination of feeling that it would be a waste of time, as it was now a distinct possibility that we wouldn't be able to go ahead with her holding my key for a month and playing out the 'cuckolding' scene with her stud friend. I can hardly be going out dating while locked up for weeks, can I?
    Ok, perhaps I could, but that's an extra layer of complications that I'd sooner not deal with right now.

    Also, traveling on public transport with my CB6000s on and my butt plug in, to an unfamiliar town to have to find this place using the maps feature on my phone didn't really put me at ease. I used to order a taxi, get myself locked up etc. smoke a joint, and my taxi would drop me right outside the old place. This was starting to feel like a bit of a task.
    Obviously I did it and having located the parlour about 45 minutes before my appointment, I found a quiet place to have a smoke and arrived a few minutes before my appointment, feeling a bit more relaxed.

    My Mistress gave me a lovely greeting and explained what had happened with the other place, well,vaguely, it was a dispute of some kind.
    We had quite a long catch up. I initially said that if she didn't have an appointment directly after me, then I had an extra £30 in my wallet and would be willing to pay more as long as I didn't feel rushed.

    She waved away my offer of extra payment and said "We'll take as long as we need, darling"
    I paid for an hour and was there for about 90 minutes, and I'd say that about half of that time was talking. I told her about my date and adorably, she pretended that she was sad and jealous about it, but she was understanding. She even asked to see a picture of my date and was very complimentary about her and said she was happy for me.

    I explained how I felt uncertain of how to proceed, and regretted that we may not be able to go ahead with the cuckolding scenario, she then said "I can ring him, he'll can get here in about 20 minutes" before getting busy with the bondage.

    I was a little taken aback to say the least, and unfortunately in the end it transpired that he couldn't make it, but we ended up having a video call, which was a little strange but still a pretty big turn on.
    Her stud was wanking his big cock and she was laughing about how I couldn't get hard, he kept chipping in, saying how he was going to take her roughly from behind etc. later on and she was getting turned on, playing with herself.
    She then sat on my face, but facing me so that she was looking down at me as I licked, still talking to her stud, as they both laughed at my predicament. I had to call him 'Sir' of course..

    As well as having my vibrating butt plug in, I also had a vibrating cock ring over my CB and I now wish I hadn't as it all got to be a bit too much stimulation. I started to panic and say that I felt like I was cumming. This had the effect of making my Master and Mistress laugh cruelly, as they didn't think I'd manage it.

    Their laughter, my state of being in total subspace and of course the vibrations of the ring (well more the egg/bulb part of it that was buzzing away under my shaft) tipped me over the edge and I erupted while still locked.

    Obviously, there was a sense of anticlimax at that point, the call ended soon after and my Mistress untied me. She went to get a drink as I removed all my paraphernalia and had a shower.
    When she returned, we chatted away for a good while and she told me that if my date didn't lead to anything, then she was planning to get an apartment near to where I live and was hoping to start having private parties, with dominant men and women, along with submissive men and women and that I'd be more than welcome to attend. And of course she'd still be happy to be my keyholder..

    I suppose there are worse dilemmas to have.

    As I've said elsewhere on this site (and in fact,in the title of this thread) it's important for me to be my true self now, this kink isn't going away. However, I'm not exclusively about kink. Just as I don't want to eat the same food or listen to the same music all the time, I don't necessarily want to have the same kind of sex all the time so I'm very much looking forward to meeting people, having relationships,sex etc but the big difference from how I was before is that within a relatively short space of anything developing, I'll be prepared to disclose my kink to a potential partner, subtly, gradually, without it being all weird and if I'm lucky, the right person will be receptive.

    However, if nothing works out on that front, at least after a few attempts, then my Mistress is still there for me.
    When I left, we had the biggest hug and kiss and she wished me good luck. She also gave me her email address and told me to keep in touch.
    So, that's where I'm up to now. Funny old world....,.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  7. Hi all, finally I'm able to update my story...

    I must admit I feel a bit of a phoney on here as I go for months without posting, simply because I have nothing much chastity related going on.
    However, I check in almost every day and follow the ongoing stories of many of you, sometimes I admit, for titillation and other times just for info and insight. You're a great bunch who seem to look out for each other and have a lot of common sense, good advice.

    If you look at the previous posts on this thread, you'll see what I was anticipating happening re: chastity, dating etc...I had an idea that once I'd seen my Mistress again and got my Jailbird, I'd then start dating and hopefully find someone kinky.

    However, there were a few hitches with this plan. Firstly my Jailbird arrived and didn't fit too well, the ring was slipping down my scrotum, even though I was sure I'd taken the correct measurements. I sent it back to have an extra base ring fitted, but this still didn't do the trick.
    I eventually ended up sending William a couple of photos of me wearing it and he identified the problem. My scrotum has stretched, so it seemd unlikely that another base ring or shortening the gap would make any difference. I was pretty devastated about this. I've not really decided what to do about it. I know that there are ways round these kinds of problems, William suggested adding a couple of 'loops# to the base ring to allow for some sort of belt to be attached round the waist, but I'm pretty much the polar opposite of a handy man, so the prospect of designing a belt, acquiring the materials, finding a comfortable materiel to coat the chain or whatever just hasn't happened and to be honest my JB pretty much just sits in a bedside drawer, occasionally used for an afternoon's teasing, secured with a harness made from pairs of tights ( or pantyhose, for our US cousins..)

    As for the dating, well that wasn't entirely successful, either. A couple where we just didn't hit it off or feel that 'spark'. Then one,which went better than I could have imagined, with a gorgeous blonde who seemed to like me straight away. We clicked instantly and she ended up back at my flat, drinking until the early hours, followed by some pretty wild sex. I was delighted to find that she was kinky. Although she preferred to be submissive, she said she'd happily switch, as she had done before.
    I couldn't believe my luck! I spent the whole following week walking on air and exchanging filthy texts with her. The plan was that I'd tie her up, spank her, take her roughly from behind etc..Then the following week, it would be my turn to submit to her. It seemed too good to be true!

    Well, the fact is, it was. The following week was a big contrast from our first date. Basically, she had too much to drink and became a completely different person. Lots of 'issues' coming out, still angry at her ex, issues with family members and seemingly, the world in general. She was clearly quite a handful.

    The kinky sex didnt happen, just a quick wham bam the next morning, then she was gone. For good. No contact of any kind after that. I guesss it was a lucky escape really, but it didn't feel like it at the time.

    Anyway, after licking my wounds for a while, I had a couple more dates, but neither led to anything..Then all of a sudden it was winter. I didn't bother with dating for a while, life threw up a few unpleasant surprises, as it tends to do sometimes.

    Thankfully, things are looking a lot better now and I decided that before I got back into dating, I'd pay another visit to my Mistress.

    It ended up being the most intense session yet, which completely unexpectedly ended up with me being dominated by two Mistresses at once, then finishing with a cuckolding scenario!

    But I'm getting ahead of myself, This post is already pretty long, so I'll give more details in the following one...
    Mash2214 and Jasmic68 like this.
  8. So, I arrived at the parlour about 15 minutes early, having just smoked half a joint outside, feeling a little stoned and nervous, but also very excited!

    I'd contacted my Mistress via Twitter, letting her know that I was coming and outlining what I'd like to do.

    It was so good to see her again, she greeted me like an old friend and she looked absolutely stunning, in a sexy schoolgirl outfit, with the tiniest, shortest pleated grey skirt imaginable. My eyes were popping out of my head. She hugged and kissed me, as I instinctively squeezed her lovely buttocks.

    Then she instantly became dominant, but in a gentle, jokey way. There were other girls, punters and the receptionist listening as she called me 'slave' and ordered me into the bedroom.

    Once in there, we sat on a couch for about 15 mins, having a good catch up with what we'd been doing, I told her all about my dating experiences, and other stuff about work etc.. She remembered things I'd told her about myself last year and seemed genuinely interesting. I never once felt rushed in any way. I'd booked a two hour session, but I knew from past experience that my Mistress isn't a clock watcher.

    She asked if I like her outfit or did I want her to change? I told her that she looked incredible, but I've always been a 'stockings and suspenders' kinda guy, so I asked if she'd mind changing into some sexy lingerie. She was happy to do this and went to get changed while I undressed and had a shower.

    Soon she came back wearing a stunning lingerie set and my jaw literally fell open, like in a cartoon, almost with an audible 'Clang!'

    Lat time I'd visited her, we had to improvise with the bondage, so anticipating this, I'd brought a couple of rolls of 'bondage tape' and I was soon secured from my ankles to my shoulders, with only my caged cock, buttocks and nipples exposed. Hands made into fists and then bound so I couldn't even wiggle my fingers..She also surprised me by gagging me with it. It's a more effective gag than I would have anticipated.

    Once she had me on the bed, she sat astride me and said seductively "You're mine now. I'll let you go when I'm ready"

    This turned out to be true, I ended up getting an extra 40 minutes or so free of charge. She said to me that she enjoys the kinky sessions so much but rarely has any clients who are into that kind of stuff, so she makes the most of punters like me.

    Then the teasing started. Oh. My. God. That woman knows how to tease. Rubbing her panty covered crotch up and down on my caged cock, moaning with pleasure, licking and sucking on my nipples, swirling her tongue in my ear while telling me about the real man with the big cock who had fucked her earlier.
    Kissing my lips though the gag, this was so deliciously frustrating, I can't put it into words!
    It went on and on...Tits in my face, licking my caged cock through the bars of the JB, changing the speed and intensity of the vibrating butt plug I was wearing, smothering my face with her panty covered crotch. She then took a photo of me, face obscured thankfully, and posted it on Twitter (I'll try to post it here if I can..)
    Another first, which blew my mind...She had a large, glass dildo with a round 'bulb' part at the base, which fitted comfortably in my mouth.
    You've guessed it, I had to hold it in position with my mouth while she lowered herself onto it and then enjoyed herself riding it for a while. This was just mind blowing...

    Next thing, another girl appeared in the doorway, asking my Mistress if she needed any help.

    She was a beautiful girl of Chinese origin, curvy, with huge round breasts and was clearly naturally dominant.

    It's hard to remember everything as my head seemed to turn to mush. That's partly why I'm posting here about it, so I have a record.

    The Chinese Mistress was much more severe than my Mistress, I was actually a bit scared of here. She whipped my feet with a cat 'o nine tails, squeezed my balls, Kept up a constant dialogue, telling my a was a useless wimp with a tiny cock..etc.. I was a little relieved when she left..

    It wasn't long before she returned though. In fact she returned another three or four times..This, as you can imagine kept me on my toes somewhat..

    At one point they were right in my face, kissing each other, sucking each other's nipples, pushing their tits in my face, turning round and pressing their lovely arses in my face..I thought I'd pass out from the sheer horniness and frustration of it all! I was ungagged by this point and their nipples were tantalisingly close to my mouth, but of course I wasn't allowed to touch.

    Not long after this, I realised that I really needed to pee! I had to use my safeword to ask my Mistress if I would be allowed to pee somewhere. At first my Chinese MIstress suggested bring in a cup for me to go in, which would have been very humiliating, but I didn't know if I'd be able to manage it.

    Finally it was decided that they'd take me to the toilet, The tape was removed from my legs so that I could walk, but my upper body was still secured.

    The next part was scary, humiliating but ultimately a huge turn on. I was led out of the room, down a corridor and through the reception area, passing other girls on the way, but thankfully no men. It was just like scenarios I'd watched in Femdom movies, two girls, shouting at once, dragging me to the toilet, slapping my bare buttocks..etc. Past the receptionist, who didn't seem phased, then into the toilet.
    I had to sit down to pee of course, which they found very amusing as they stood in the doorway watching me.

    Then I was led back into the bedroom for more......
    By this time, I'd gone longer than any previous session and it had been much more intense. There was a clock in the bedroom and I realised that I still had at least another hour to go...My legs were taped up again and I was lifted back onto the bed

    After some more teasing, my Mistress decided that I was 'getting too excited' and needed some punishment, so I was turned onto my front for a spanking. First a few hard, bare handed smacks, then with some unidentified object ( a paddle?).

    Then my Mistress asked me my age. "49", I nervously replied. "Ok, let's make it an even 50 then.." she said.
    So that's what I got, 50 strokes with a cane, which I had to count and thank her for, after each stroke.

    Some didn't land quite so hard, but some really did! By about 35, I was wondering if I'd cope and debated using my safeword. I was glad I didn't though and finally it was over. My buttocks stung and I had tears in my eyes. It was also a huge turn on, I'd never need secured and spanked this way. My buttocks burned and the stripes are still there, two days later.

    Next, she kept me on my front, but moved manoevred me so that she was sat with her back against the headboard and my head was squarely between here thighs.

    Just one word "Lick"

    I didn't need telling twice. I felt so submissive at that point and did my very best to please her. She made a few contented noises, but was saying that I was making her more horny and she needed fucking. It was a shame, she said that I'd left the key to my device at home, as she would have unlocked me then if she could and I could have been inside her warm, wet pussy.

    I don't really think she would have, I think she was just teasing me even more..
    Next thing she disappeared for a while, leaving me looking at my reflection in the mirrored ceiling. Caged cock still straing, butt plug still buzzing away..

    When she returned she said "There's guy here who's agreed to fuck me in front of you. Are you ok with that?"

    I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I must have looked like a goldfish, mouth wide open as I nodded.

    Nest thing, she led a guy in. Ordinary looking, about my age. Thankfully I'd been told to be quiet, so I did just that.

    It was just like in the cuckold stories and movies that get me so excited. Her, kissing him passionately, stood at the foot of the bed, sucking his cock, laughing at me, saying "This is what a real man gets" etc...I was in a state of shock. Horny, frustrated shock.

    I should add that by this time, she'd removed the tape from my legs again and secured my ankles to the bed.

    She lay back, between my legs and her stud came and entered her.

    It didn't last long, the guy probably felt self conscious and wanted to shoot his load and get out of there, but while it lasted it was incredible. She made lots of noise, which had my cock strain even more, telling me that my little cock could never satisfy any woman etc..

    Then there was just time for some more incredible teasing, facesitting, nipple play, licking my strainig, purple cock through the bars of the JB...

    Then she was untying me, and I sat up on the bed.

    She immediately went into 'Girlfriend' mode, hugging me and kissing me repeatedly, even with open moths, very passionate, telling me a was good boy. It was a very special moment.

    Then i had another shower, while she changed back into the schoolgirl outfit for her next punter. More relaxed chatting and I paid her. I'd paid for two hours, but ended up having close to three, just because that's what she wanted.

    I was sad to leave. I have such a huge crush on her and every second in her presence is a treat, but all good things come to an end and soon I was back on the street, finishing my spliff before floating home.

    I know that there are people on this site who feel that they need to call out people who lie or exaggerate their experiences for effexct, but I can assure you that every word of this is true. Remember, I paid for it, I'm not inventing some fantasy relationship.

    Thanks for reading, I'll see if I can that photo now... C9NsDQXXUAAHAzU.jpg
    bethanise, Mash2214, Steve-0 and 2 others like this.
  9. Sorry for all the typos, I wish the edit function had a longer window..
  10. Ceo9PRkWsAAEu9w.jpg In fact, why not. Her identity won't be compromised in any way, here's a photo of my beautiful Mistress.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  11. I'm truly smitten. What an absolute angel. This is the dildo she rode, while I held it in my mouth. CkGkMPsWkAAWmBn.jpg
  12. I think the difference between what you write and some more of the fantastical posts we get in the Mansion is you were open and honest about the issues you had with the dating and up front about the nature of the relationship you have with your Mistress. To be honest I very much prefer your description of what happened than many other posts, it sounded fantastic. If I wasn't married I would definitely be more interested in finding out how to find someone like you have than fantasizing about meeting someone like that who wasn't being paid!

    My Wife has recently threatened to take me to a Professional Mistress so she can watch me being punished. The only reason I doubt it would happen is neither of us have a clue how to go about finding someone who we could go to.
    wannabe slave d likes this.
  13. She looks expensive :D
  14. Not at all. For what I got, an absolute bargain.
  15. I meant it in the nicest way possible, sounds like you had fun.
    wannabe slave d likes this.
  16. Ah, I get it now. No worries. :)
  17. Ok, here's a bit of an update on my situation, which is going to be a little different from previous entries here in that I'm looking for a little feedback or advice from others who have experienced something similar.
    As I've recorded on this thread previously, I was very lucky to find a professional Mistress, who pushes all my submissive buttons, and then some...

    However, I can't always afford to go and see her and it's now also quite a distance for me to travel on public transport (I don't drive).

    So, from time to time, I like to visit the parlour where she used to work, which is only 15 mins walk (or 5 in a taxi) from where I live and see one of the other girls for vanilla sex
    Rather than the hour or two I need with my Mistress, I can manage on half an hour with another girl.. I've been single for about 2 1/2 years now, and although I go on the odd date, none of which so far has led to anything, I know when 'it's time' to have sex. All the femdom/cuckold/chastity porn in the world, not forgetting my collection of toys and various stimulants, which provide many happy hours but can only go so far when it comes to scratching a particular itch.

    I miss the feel of a woman's smooth, soft skin, her smell, voice, eye contact, smiles, all that soppy stuff....Half an hour with a beautiful young girl can be just what the doctor ordered sometimes...

    However......I've had a couple of visits there this year, one before seeing my Mistress back in April, then again last Saturday and I've noticed a curious phenomenon....

    Earlier this year, I saw a pretty young blonde, who seemed very young and, didn't really give the impression of being up for it at all. To the point where I felt uncomfortable, like a dirty old man.

    So on that occasion, the sex was just ok. I tried to make the best of it, but try as I might, even after numerous different positions, I just couldn't cum. Eventually the girl finished me off with her mouth, and it was....just ok...Never mind, chalk it up as experience I thought.

    Anyway, I decided to pay another visit last Saturday and the girl was incredible...Early 30s, petite, brunette, firm young, curvy body, a cheeky 'scouser' (For non UK readers, a native of Liverpool). absolutely lovely girl, made me feel really comfortable. Lots of nice kisses, plenty of tongue, lips. eye contact....Incredible blow job etc....Started with her on top, while still kissing, me playing with her boobs, arse...etc...Then me on top, then from behind....and I found myself struggling to cum once again....

    She decided to finish me with a blowjob/handjob and for whatever reason, it just wasn't doing the trick....

    Eventually, I asked her to just kiss me while I finished myself off, which I just managed to do (while going over femdom/chastity scenarios in my head...WTF!?)

    So while it was fabulous and in many ways was exactly what I needed.....I've since found myself worrying about whether this will continue to be an issue, particularly if I find myself in a new relationship..

    I've read on quite a lot of femdom/chastity sites/blogs about beta/sub/cuck guys who can't stay hard or cum from 'normal' sex (Staying hard wasn't a problem for me, but I did have some assistance from a little blue pill..) They're so submissive, that their brains have been re-wired to only get properly turned on from being in chastity, being cucked etc...

    Towards the end of my relationship with my ex, I sometimes experienced this and would conjure up all sorts of outlandish images in my head while having sex with her, just so I could complete the deed.

    I also wondered if it was because I had a half hour time limit....When I masturbate at home, I put an afternoon or evening aside, and it's quite the ritual. I'll either lock myself up for a couple of hours, and smoke a spliff whilst driving myself mad with desire, watching all manner of kinky stuff, before unlocking and wanking Or I have an elaborate home made 'harness' that I strap myself into, part of which features a vibrating cock ring, with a vibrating 'bulb', which goes just behind my glans, with the bulb part on the underside of my cock, attached by short, velcro fastening straps. Just tight enough to keep me rock hard and stimulated but not too tight to cut off circulation. Using this, I can keep myself on the edge for 2-3 hours before finally erupting in a spectacular climax....

    Could it be that vanilla sex just doesn't push my buttons the same way anymore?
    I'd be very interested to hear if any of you have experienced anything similar.
    Thanks in advance...
    Mash2214 likes this.
  18. I am no expert but I have read about this sort of phenomenon with regards to access and exposure to hardcore pornography and how it affects your arousal. Essentially our arousal is chemical and we get addicted, needing ever more erotic stimulus to get us to a state of arousal. When you watch the porn starlets having incredible acrobatic sex, anal, oral, cum everywhere, amazing shots of huge penises splaying them almost in two, it's difficult to get anywhere with your mundane version.

    This is why chastity in a relationship works so well. Porn is out of bounds, as is masturbating. It is truly incredible how your partner takes the place of your porn for arousal. She suddenly can make you hard with the slightest look, the merest touch will get you hot.

    It is also the case that your body gets used to how easy it is to cum from masturbating. You program your brain to release with a particular stimulus over and over again. Then when you try to have Vanilla sex without the porn or other visual stimuli you don't get anywhere.

    I don't know what you can do to rectify this but it would do you some good to do some research on the affects of porn and arousal.
    wannabe slave d likes this.
  19. Thanks for your reply @Jasmic68@Jasmic68, much appreciated.
    Yeah, I've read things along those lines, watched youtube vids too. I guess I'll have to have a bit of a break from porn once I start dating and it looks like it might turn into something. It'll probably do me good.

    I also wonder if I could ever just have a vanilla relationship again...It might be great to start with, but sooner or later, I'd be wanting to have 'the conversation'.

    I'd like to think that one day I'll find myself in the same position as you or some of the other lucky guys on here!
    Thanks again.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  20. Hi again Mansion folks. Time for another update...

    So, I went to see my Mistress again yesterday, as a birthday treat. Next Tuesday, the dreaded 50th arrives, so I booked 5 days off work, starting yesterday (I have a new job and now work shifts, including most weekends).

    It felt fantastic, waking up yesterday for the start of my break, knowing that I would be seeing my Goddess again, I had no nerves whatsoever, unlike when I go to see a new girl at my local parlour. Just happy and excited.

    Until \Wednesday night, I was beginning to think that I'd have to make alternative arrangements as I'd messaged my Mistress and not had a reply. I also noticed that the week before last, she wasn't working at all (I later found out that she'd been home to Denmark for a week). If she hadn't got back to me, I'd have been seeing the Liverpudlian brunette at my local parlour (see previous entry) today (Saturday).

    However, I got in from work on Wednesday night to see a message from my Mistress, saying apologies for the late reply and she'd love to see me on Friday. She asked what time, for how long and what did I want to do.

    I excitedly replied. In fact, rather than try to summarise, I might as well paste in my email here-

    Hello again Mistress,
    ok I'll give you an outline of what I'd like to do tomorrow. Sorry if it seems a bit boring after last time (that was a mindblowing experience, which I still think about a LOT!) but I'm thinking that because it's my birthday (50!! :-/ ) I'd like something a little different. As much as I love to be locked in chastity, I'd also like to experience an intense teasing session while allowed to be fully hard, and also, I realised that although this will be the 6th time of seeing you, I've only actually been inside you once, on that first visit to KSG, early last year.

    Basically, I'd like to be tied to the bed and then teased out of my mind, using all the techniques that you're so amazing at... Firstly, just by walking around the bed, bending over, teasing me with your amazing body, maybe dancing a little, that sort of thing, then getting on the bed and teasing me with your body..rubbing your pussy against my cock with knickers still on, while maybe kissing me (full kisses to start with, then giving me less and less as we go on...Licking and sucking my nipples, tongue in my ear etc...Kissing my neck...smothering my face with your incredible tits...Then maybe a little bit of a blow job, not too much, a little suck, a bit of licking, but not giving me too much...You could maybe just blow on my cock from a few inches away, tickle my balls....

    I'm probably telling you stuff that you would already do here...sorry...Then you could start to give me a few long hard strokes, get me really turned on...If I feel myself getting close to cumming, I have to warn you and then you stop, let me cool off a little (maybe even leave the room for a minute) then resume wanking me until I'm back on the edge again...You could alternate between firm, hard strokes and barely touching, just tickling my balls, stroking under the head with one finger, blowing on it.

    Maybe you have some bits of different texture materials...Something silky, maybe something fluffy or with feathers to tickle my cock and balls with....At some point, I'd like you to take off your knickers and sit on my face, so I have to give you pleasure while you continue to tease, more nipple play, softly squeezing and tickling my balls, being careful not to take me over the edge.... I'd obviously like you to be verbally dominant during this, but maybe a little more playful and teasing than full on dominant...You could tell me how this is the last time I'll be allowed to get hard in your presence and you'll refuse to see me in future unless I'm locked up....Next time I see you after tomorrow, I'm thinking I'd like the full on Cuckolding experience with your friend (Is it Ben?) and possibly another girl. To be locked up in bondage watching you have a threesome would be so amazing! You could talk about how eventually you'll have me so under your spell that I'll be permanently locked in a custom made full steel chastity belt (my dream) and you'll hold the key. You could describe taking me home with you for the weekends and making me your sissy maid, doing all your household chores while locked up and butt plugged in a sissy maid outfit, while you go on a date with Ben, and I then have to watch you fuck him and serve you both when you get home (I know that this would never really happen, but it;s a BIG fantasy of mine...) Finally, when I'm absolutely on the edge, I'd like you to put a condom on me and ride me until I cum....I don't know how long I'll last, probably not very long...so with this in mind, if we have time..(I'm thinking roughly 40 mins teasing, leaving us about 20 mins) after you untie me, I'd love to just lie together for a while, talking, kissing and cuddling, and hopefully, if I can get it up again, I'd love to get on top and fuck you like a real man, one last time...

    I hope this isn't disappointing for you Mistress, as I know how much you like the kinky stuff. I do too, but this is something I'd really like to experience. Anyway, I'll leave it there for now, except to post a couple of links....I don't want to insult you by giving you instructions for something I'm sure you're already amazing at, but these are a couple of my favourite tease and denial clips...



    OK, I'll leave it there for now Mistress, hope that's all ok. Can't wait to see you!! :) Bye for now, Dave..Xxx

    The only reply I got was. "Excited for Friday! See you then. Xxx"

    She's moved to a new location again, this time, she's independant, her and 3 other girls have set up on their own. I had to set off early on public transport, and with the help of Google maps, I found the location easily enough. I had half an hour to spare, which was perfect for smoking about half of the spliff that I'd brought with me (puts 'lead in my pencil', always has, plus I'd also had a Viagra before leaving home..)

    At around ten to the hour, I made my way to the door of the venue, feeling, excited, a little nervous and a little stoned...

    I buzzed and was let in. The first person I saw was the Chinese Mistress, who double dommed me back in April ( see a few entries back).

    "Hello darling" she said, with a big smile. Pretty different to my previous encounter with her, when I was actually a bit scared of here, as well as incredibly turned on...

    Then my Mistress came out to greet me, looking stunning in lingerie, but instead of the usual greeting, she looked angry and stern.

    "Ugh, you've been smoking that stinky weed again, you dirty boy!" she said.
    I hadn't realised, as I'm used to the smell, but it must have been pretty strong on my breath, not to mention the half of a spliff, in a cigarette packet in my jacket pocket.

    She knows that I smoke and even has a bit herself now and again, but the newer strains of 'skunk' are very pungent.
    I was immediately embarrassed and mumbled an apology.

    "Never mind, just get in there, slave!" she said, pointing at a bedroom.

    I heard the Chinese Mistress, saying "Get the whip out!"

    I was excited and scared.

    We went into the bedroom and there was a little awkward chat, her still keeping up the 'being mad at me' act.
    However, she soon became the friendly, lovely girl that |I know and I was so pleased to be with her again, she gave me a lovely hug and a kiss and then told me to get in the shower, which I did as she left the room.

    After my shower, I lay on the bed and was now feeling relaxed and horny, watching the porn that was playing on a wall mounted TV, the Viagra and weed started to do their job and soon I was standing to my full 6.5 inches.

    I couldn't believe what happened next. I heard a little commotion outside the door and next thing, my Mistress and the Chinese girl came in, with a birthday cake!
    No candles, but two stunners in lingerie, singing 'Happy Birthday' to me! I burst out laughing, it was a lovely, unexpected gesture and I felt really touched.
    The Chinese Mistress left us, ominously saying "I'll be back"

    Next thing (after insisting that I sample the cake!) my Mistress was tying me to the bed, saying "We're not doing your schedule, we're doing mine!"
    She then left the room and came back a few minutes later, with a guy in his early thirties.
    This was unexpected. "Happy Birthday" he said. "Er...thanks," I said, a bit confused.
    I then noticed that although he was fully dressed, he had a big, hard cock sticking out of his jeans.
    He looked to be at least two inches longer than me, and thicker too.
    This was the infamous Ben, my Mistresses friend and lover.

    He sat down in a chair opposite the bed, with her taking a 'reverse cowgirl' position on top. They canoodled, kissed and laughed as only lovers can. The relaxed intimacy they displayed made me feel a little hurt, rejected, very submissive and very horny. He kissed her neck, felt her massive tits and started slowly fucking her, as she gasped and moaned with pleasure.

    I kind of wished that I was locked up, but this was a new sensation. To be rock hard and unable to touch myself was deliciously frustrating.

    The Chinese Mistress then came back in and started laughing at me, her fact close to mine, saying "Look at your Mistress getting fucked, don't you wish you could do that?" and other such comments. Bizarrely, she started to feed me cake, which added a surreal edge to the proceedings.

    She then left and my Mistress and her stud changed positions, him entering her from behind as she leant across me, her huge tits brushing my thighs. She would occasionally stroke my cock a little and tickle my balls inbetween moaning in pleasure as he fucked her hard from behind. This was mindblowing. I could also see his cock going into her in the mirror that mounted on the wall opposite the bed.
    She told him to get some of her juices on his fingers for me to smell. He did this and leaned over, wiping the moisture under my nose and on my lips.
    He seemed very comfortable with the whole scenario. I knew that they'd done this a lot with other punters. It was very different to the 'quickie' cuckolding I'd experienced last time I saw her. They obviously knew each others bodies inside out and were enjoying a genuine intimacy. I also noticed that he was fucking her bareback.

    After a few different positions, he finally came inside her, which she wasn't happy about. She'd obviously wanted to go on for longer. As it was, they'd been at it for about 15 minutes or so.
    Next thing, she was telling him to slap his big cock in my face, which he did. Then she told me to kiss the head.
    I nervously did this. Feigning disgust, but in truth, really excited and turned on. She made me do it again, and I was sure that I'd be told to lick or suck it at this point, but that never happened and I have to say I was disappointed. At that point I was so into 'subspace' that I really wanted to take it in my mouth. Ah well, maybe next time.

    She then saw him out and left me alone for a few minutes, my rock hard cock dripping in frustration.

    When she returned, she had changed into a tiny little black PVC dress, which her huge tits were bursting out of.
    She smiled wickedly and slid up my body, rubbing my cock between her tits as she licked and sucked my nipples.

    After this, she more or less did the things which I'd requested in my email.
    Lots of teasing with her hands and mouth, getting me to the edge, then leaving my to cool down, before starting again.
    I was a quivering mess after about 20 minutes of this. She was also telling me about what would happen when she took me to her home, to serve her and Ben as a sissy maid.
    She eventually got out a condom, put it on my and sank down onto my cock. It felt absolutely heavenly. The significance of finally being allowed to enter my Mistress after being locked up for the previous 4 visits wasn't lost on me.
    She then unfastened my wrists and placed my hands on her tits. Again, something I hadn't done since my first visit to her, early last year.
    I was in absolute ecstasy. She then unfastened my ankles and I was free!

    She said "Since it's your Birthday and you've been a good slave, I'll let you pretend you are a real man. You have 3 minutes."

    I didn't waste any time, as she lay back and spread her legs, I got on top and sank into her delicious womanhood. It was unreal to be inside her.
    There was no danger of me struggling to cum, as I did with the brunette last month. I was struggling to hold back as she gave me a full on kiss, slipping her tongue into my mouth.
    All too soon, I exploded into her. The feeling were intense. I almost cried as she smile, kissied me and said "Happy Birthday darling."

    After a minute to recover, I started to get dressed and paid her.
    I asked her how Denmark was and were her family ok.

    She immediately got upset, her eyes filling with tears. Oh shit, me and my big mouth.

    Turns out she'd had to return home because of a family bereavement.

    I comforted her the best I could. "I'm so sorry, darling" I said while giving her a big hug. We held each other tightly for a few moments until she felt a little better.

    I'm not sure how the conversation got onto it, but she ended up telling me her real name. I felt very privileged. She also said that the stuff she was saying about taking me home with her, although fantasy at this point could actually happen if I continue to visit her over the next couple of years and her trust in me grows.
    It felt like a very special visit, resulting in a deeper connection between us.
    I sadly said my goodbyes, but left walking on air.
    I then met a friend in town for a few beers, then went home and had a few more and another spliff. Woke up in my chair with my Led Zeppelin DVD still blaring away. Crawled off to bed. A pretty great day, all in all.

    I feel rough today, but my spirit is soaring.

    Thanks for reading.
  21. DGtdOH6WAAAcuJl.jpg DG8QueNWsAAQ9V0.jpg A couple of pics of my amazing Goddess.

    Attached Files:

    tiruh811 likes this.