Fifth year in

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Nicoftime, Feb 18, 2020.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    So I’m starting a new thread and journal due to now having had four full years with my now wife and mistress. Year 5 is starting and who knows what that will entail.

    2020 started without an O, erection, or physical contact for nearly 2 months. The hiatus ended rather toe curlingly last night. I am currently uncaged...was told to lock up right away, but I have been playing hooky a little hahaha.

    For those unfamiliar with me, and our story, feel free to read some of my other journals “uh oh I think she likes it” and “the evolution of mistress amante”. I will recap briefly here in case you don’t want to read four years of fun, struggle, whining, and venting.

    We started as a normal couple dating. I was coming out of a nasty divorce, and to be honest, wanted this relationship to be different. I told her of my submissive sexual preference, need for chastity and to lose control of that part of my life, my feminine nature, and within a few months that I am intersex.

    All in all she handled it pretty well. She didn’t really understand why someone would want to lock their privates up or give that power to someone else. She agreed to try it, and didn’t really look back since.

    We started with her unlocking me every night, usually ending in an O, then came ruined O’s, lots of teasing. One day I mentioned that I didn’t have a hard time grooming because I could just pull it out the back. She was visibly upset. She didn’t know that I could always pull it out the back. I casually mentioned that a piercing is the only way to fix that, she told me to make the appointment. We went shortly after and she watched me get pierced.

    It took awhile to heal all the way, I bought a cage that I could wear my piercing without hurting it while it healed. In the coming months is when she really came into her own about being in charge of sex and being guilt free about it. You see while I healed I still ended up pleasuring her. That really set up our situation that she could have sex whenever she wanted and not worry about reciprocation...since I physically would get hurt if she did.

    When I did heal, her taking what she wanted and not giving me anything unless she felt like it continued. With that, we communicated some of her kinks as well as mine. We started experimenting with her kinks like physical punishment, spankings, paddling, and even maid service.

    Unlocking went from almost every night to about once a month or so. Somehow we kind of naturally went into what would be called female led, or maybe service oriented. I started doing more acts of service such as starting her car, making her lunch, coffee, dishes, laundry, foot rubs, and cleaning the house in general. Of course the maid service was more sexualized but didn’t involve sex. Painting her nails, washing her hair, and massages.

    I was born intersex, I’ve always known, but at my age my body just isn’t keeping up on the male end and is sliding more female. This comes with certain physical changes over the last few years, breast and feminine figure being most prevalent. I mention this because this worried me and our future, but she handled it great and stuck with me...boobs and all.

    As time went by, we have settled down into a very loving, D/s life but doesn’t focus everyday around our kinks. We have played around with the idea of being in a cuckold marriage, there are some roadblocks for her that have basically kept it to just fantasy. One she doesn’t feel comfortable with it becoming public knowledge and discretion would need to be total. Two, it would be odd for her to just go on a stranger and get busy...huge cock or not. Three, she and I both want it to be with me there...the guy would have to be ok with that. Four, if the guy is up to all this, he still has to be ok with not being in a romantic relationship and just a fuck toy. And five, safety as far as disease and all that. With all that, finding the perfect guy and scenario would be like finding a unicorn...so we are leaving it open and if the perfect thing happens to happen we may just do it. We are open but with a very picky set up.

    I have about 10 orgasms a year, use toys and wand on her I don’t know how many times lol. We now don’t do much punishment or teases, ruined orgasms have kind of went away too. I am physically not very big so sex with me is mostly something just for me. When she wants me to have one she’ll give me one.

    Will update on this thread from here on out.
     
  2. caged certo
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    caged certo Active member

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    Hi Nicoftime, i am very curious to your thread, and maybe I will learn from you how to handle about breasts and female feelings. I developed breasts to a B cup, due to hormone changes and a leak of testosteron.
     
  3. MouseTee
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    MouseTee Active member

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    @Nicoftime : what a great experience you're going through. Your honesty has brought you absolutely to a higher level! :).
     
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  4. tvalex
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    tvalex Active member

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    Sounds like your relationship is in a great place.
     
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  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I’m sorry to hear about your hormone issues. As far as handling some of the changes, it’s not the life altering mind bending new crazy ideas that may be hitting you...I’ve always known physically that I was different. Knowing I had this my whole life reduced the shock, and it’s been somewhat gradual. I didn’t wake up with boobs, that certainly would be odd. It has been gradual for the last few years. Although I have always privately been ok with my feminine side, I wasn’t raised as one, so that has been the most off putting...not being very comfortable as I start looking more gender neutral. So long story short ...I hide them. Vests in the cooler months, Hawaiian shirts in the summer. Sports bras if you need to hide them more...I don’t wear them anymore.
     
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  6. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Thanks, it truly is. It’s not quite the whirlwind of activity it used to be, but it certainly keeps us happy.
     
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  7. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    How often do you cross dress? Would it be feasible for you to live routinely as a woman?
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Not real often, and I would not be comfortable transitioning socially
     
  9. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  10. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    Were the books you read nonfiction or fiction inspired at least loosely on real life events? The dick as a divining rod of a man's thoughts and wants is something I've seen a few times in fiction and I hope nobody ever actually uses that in real life. (I know you said that was in your dream rather than in either book you mentioned)
     
  11. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Thanks for sharing an update. I enjoy reading success stories, especially when couples adjust to each others needs.
     
  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    The books were all “nonfiction” but I’m sure some liberties were taken. Dream was kind of a mix of both books
     
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  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  14. tvalex
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    tvalex Active member

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    Always going to be little hiccups along the way. It's just how you deal with these which makes things your relationship stronger.
    Still makes you feel like Crap though.
     
  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    So, this isn’t relationship related but found it odd.

    I have a ball trap device (rigid chastity model 05), and its secured with a piercing. Obliviously the steel device has not changed dimensions, yet yesterday I noticed one of my balls had slipped through the gap and was nestled inside my body cavity. I had not noticed it happening, but I was busy doing a lot of physical work outside and maybe I didn’t notice. Then before my wife returned to unlock me to fix it, I was sitting to pee as is the norm, and it popped back in. It didn’t hurt and the only reason I really noticed was I felt a little squeeze, no pain.

    Upon further inspection, my balls seem a bit small now. I wonder if it’s hormonal or an age thing, but they are definitely smaller.

    As far as the journal goes, nothing new to report, haven’t been doing much, which I’m a bit disappointed by, but I think it’s the covid weight gain that has us both feeling yucky about ourselves. I think we both gained about 30 pounds since getting off our diet and feel kind of crappy about ourselves physically.

    She even bought an exercise bike to try to lose some weight. That really doesn’t work for me, need to change what and how I eat, not enough time in the day to exercise away all the calories I take in.

    So it’s diet time again, 220 next stop 160!
     
  17. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Just a small update in our journey.

    Without a formal discussion about it, we had taken a break from most of our kink and sexual escapades. Don’t get me wrong, I have still stayed locked, and that is still important to her (I had even procrastinated locking back up occasionally only to be told that it was time). The other stuff has fallen away though.

    She had a parent lose a long battle with cancer, she also needed to spend more time with family, then the pandemic hit and it kind of brought on a sense of malaise.

    Not to fear, our toy drawer is still full, we still love each other, and I’m sure at some point our mojo and free time together will return.

    For the most part, I still give foot rubs, clean, cook, and take care of the house, and I’m sure at some point the typical FLR stuff will return when we are ready. Until then, I probably don’t have much to update and report.
     
  18. remyruff
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    remyruff Long time member

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    Sorry to hear about your loss.
    Your commitment to chastity and denial is noteworthy and maintaining service standards your KH is accustomed to while your own sexuality stays on the back burner shows both of your strengths in this lifestyle.
     
  19. Peter Rabbit
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    Peter Rabbit I'm her bunny

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    We had a similar stressful time last year. I’m not going to compare, but you have my empathy. To our joint credit, we did need to focus on our foundational relationship and set other stuff aside.

    She was grateful. And things picked up stronger than ever once she got through those tough times. So there will be better times ahead.

    It’s still not easy. Life is still stressful for us, but weathering that experience with her, and being her support helped so much.
     
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