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Feminization and how to explain it?

Discussion in 'The Powder Room' started by ssendam, Apr 3, 2016.

  1. -5 weird score lol. I scored a 105 and it classified as androgyny. My wife scored a 35 and was the same category.
     
  2. Hmmm. That doesn't seem quite so trustworthy does it...
     
  3. I mean it's a pretty well known test on most of the tg resource sites. Definitely something strange went on with it though. Maybe it's cause I tinyurl'd it
     
  4. http://transsexual.org/data2.html

    Here is the breakdown of scoring and how it works for the test. -5 is an actual score haha
     
    fdsfdg and Jasmic68 like this.
  5. That's much more trustworthy! Having a breakdown of the scoring system like that changes my opinion of the questionnaire completely.
     
  6. well i cant get to it, it say to download something and Mistress has told me not to do that so i cant.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  7. The site is on and off. A couple days ago it didn't work but I finally got to it last night.

    I took the test and scored -85 which puts me in the androgeny group. Interesting!
     
  8. i can get to the last one he put in. The one that's all blue and has the numbers in it and tell you what you am. Its the first one i cant get to and it say that i aint got the preview thing on this pooter.
     
  9. I am afraid that it's taken as more of a laugh in the trans community.

    More accurate tests are can you match your lipstick and heels and can you get false eyelashes on in under 5 minutes .

    Xx Wendy
     
  10. Being transgender can be a lot to "get your head around" so people come up with psychological ways to deal with it. I think the forced feminization is a way to absolve oneself of the responsibility of feminization and it allows one to view it as "ok" since it is something being done TO them.

    I started a 3 month trial on high doses of estrogen and testosterone blockers to see how it made me feel and I'm now on month 54. :)
    If you are not transgender, being female will not appeal to you once your testosterone levels drop.
     
    VanillaKnot likes this.
  11. Month 54 !!
    The last paragraph so absolutely correct. Says soooo much in so few words.

    Xx Wendy
     
  12. oooh i can do that. tho sometimes they stick to my fingers. anyways i cant do that test cos it wont work.
     
    Wendygirl likes this.
  13. OMG! I can't believe there is a thread about this subject!! This is also something that always bothered me.
    I love femininity and FemDom, not just for the kink, but because I'm deeply convinced that women are in many areas further developed than we men and I really feel things go better when women are in charge, not only in the bedroom but in many other areas of life.

    I always had mixed feelings about the combination of "humiliation" and "feminization". For me, being feminized never felt as a humiliation, but just the opposite, as some kind of privilege. The only moment I feel some sort of humiliation is when dressed and treated as a slut/bitch/whore. I guess that most women would feel the same way about it. I must also admit that I enjoy that feeling when role playing. In my case I enjoy more the humiliation of being treated as a sex object than being feminized.

    Also the fact that many activities such as cleaning or doing laundry are labeled as "humiliating" when a sub has to do it. I left my parent's home at a very young age and lived alone for more than a decade, maybe that's why ALL house chores became "normal chores" to me. Don't get excited nor feel humiliated when cleaning the floor ;). But I do enjoy doing house chores while my wife watches TV. It's not the humiliation, but the submissive feeling that triggers my pleasure in that situation.

    Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say what is right or wrong here. I'm just explaining how I feel and think about the subject.
    Everyone is wired differently and everyone has the right to have his own fantasies and fetishes and enjoy them in whatever way they like. To make it clear, I'm totally ok with people connecting feminization and humiliation in their fantasies.
     
    manintyres likes this.
  14. I just think that if you think doing house chores is humiliating you are being misogynistic. You are essentially saying that house chores are women's work, but I am a man, and this is humiliating. Bollocks to that. I think doing house chores makes my Wife happy, more relaxed and more likely to feel like rewarding me. If she chooses not to reward me with anything sexual that is fine, as if you do expect it you are then basically making your partner a prostitute. You are paying her for sex by doing tasks rather than with money, then that is just as bad. I get the reward of spending more time with her, receiving her smile and the growing feeling of being closer.
     
    KatyTwilight likes this.
  15. @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 you make a great point with the prostitution perspective, paying with tasks for sex, OMG!! I realize how male oriented some FemDom ideas are. After many years, I now think that traditional FemDom is just one more way for males to get what they want from a woman (Ups, I might get crucified for what I just said!! This is might be a subject for another thread! I already had a hot discussion on another site with a ProDomme about this once, people, please, this is just my opinion, please don't crucify me for my thoughts!!)
    As I said, I can imagine people enjoying that (maybe even the woman in the relationship).
    Same as you, I now want to free my wife from chores, see her relaxed and happy to enjoy more quality time with her. The smile in her face is already a reward. My wife and I are working towards a 100% pressure free sex life, where I hope it will be finally organically led by her needs, desire and libido (much lower than mine). No connection with tasks, no rewards, no nothing. Just sex (love making) when, how and if she wants.

    About house chores or "feminine chores" and humiliation in general I think we just suffer the consequences from centuries of a "macho" society, where lots of tasks are labeled "female" and if you consider yourself "a strong man" you should never do things that only women are supposed to do, such as cleaning, taking care of kids, sewing clothes or in some extreme cases not even going to the supermarket. I always hated guys who think that way. I used to hide from others that I enjoy doing "female" activities such as sewing or even doing my wife's nails (I never felt that activities had a gender). Now, when in traditional male social situations, I just comment that I do those kind of things just to confront males with their limited and discriminating way of thinking. I don't look for confrontation or discussion, not preaching either. I just say what I do, in a very relaxed and polite way, and hope to bring others(men and women) to think about their behavior, thoughts and feelings towards women in general... specially the way they treat and discriminate their "loved" wives without even being conscious of it. I'm sure I'm responsible for igniting many hot domestic discussions when I see the smile in the wife's face an the angry look in the man eyes!! (I know it's cruel, but I enjoy that!)

    In other words. In my opinion, males thinking that they show their strength by not wanting to do "female activities" just show exactly the opposite, their weakness and fear to loose that apparent inherent power and authority that comes with being male. Power, strength and authority comes with personality, not with gender.
    From my perspective, doing "female chores" as humiliation, is another way to reinforce the traditional male and female positions. But as I said, if there is a couple out there where both enjoy doing that, I'm no one to say what is right or wrong. Just sharing my thought here.


    So, with that being said, now back to the main question here: Feminization and how to explain it?
    If you explain to your wife (or almost any woman with the exception of a Pro Domme) that you want to be feminized and do "female chores" as part of the humiliation, don't be surprised if she is totally disgusted by the idea!!;)
    Think it the other way around, your wife comes to you and says: "honey, I want you to make me wear a €5000 male suit and drive very fast and aggressively in your brand new BMW to feel humiliated". You will have a hard time to wrap your head around that idea, don't you think?
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  16. I think perhaps the humiliation doesn't stem from wanting to be feminized. I can understand your wife's hesitation when presented with the idea "I want to be feminized because I find the notion of accepting femininity to be humiliating" which does seem rather misogynistic. I think maybe the two are separate things.

    Perhaps you want to feel humiliated not for desiring to be feminized, but for the sake of feeling humiliated. And perhaps your fantasy situation for being humiliated is by being forced to relinquish what you hold to be sacred, your masculinity.

    That situation doesn't suggest that femininity is humiliating. It suggests that you are humiliated to be confronted with your own masculinity and having it be used against you by forcing you to do things contrary to it. Given that you also desire to actually feel feminine, it suggests that your fantasy dynamic is different than how you actually feel about your sexual identity. You're not misogynistic because you want to role play being a misogynist who is "overpowered" by a woman and forced feminized.
     
    KatyTwilight likes this.
  17. When I was first feminized some 5 or 6 years ago, I always felt embarrassed and/or humiliated by my interchange with Mistress and to others while presenting as a woman. I think I was undergoing a mental transition and had to learn more about my feminine side and how to deal with everyday issues while thinking as a woman thinks, rather than using my traditional, penis thinking, male brain. That transition has been a slow process and continues to this day. I even had a few sessions with a psychologist to help me with the adjustment - which is apparently ongoing.

    humiliation that I feel comes from my breaking with long taught and understood male thinking as I have come to accept my feminine side. I am never humiliated, at all, doing housework or other chores, but rather when my feminine side is exposed to others who are shocked to see a 72 year old man enjoying his feminine side. For some reason, I find their judgement of me to be embarrassing and humiliating. The more comfortable I become in dressing and acting feminine, the less I seem to be so humiliated. Oh, sure, there are still many situations in which I find myself feeling uncomfortable and strange, but it seems that I am learning how to handle it better and better.
     
    manintyres and KatyTwilight like this.
  18. @KatyTwilight@KatyTwilight i would not crucify you for saying that FemDom is just another way of men getting what they want from women because I really completely utterly agree with you. I have never really enjoyed the femdom porn you see of captioned pictures of some beautiful young and perhaps naked female saying some ridiculous line about locking me up. Those statements feed the male fantasy of chastity and are not about what the Woman wants at all.

    I am not saying that there are no women out there who enjoy wearing tight PVC dresses and wield a whip and enjoy denying their men, far from it. I know for a fact there are. But even in six months I know far more are doing this to keep their man happy than because they want to do it for themselves. I am also not saying that some women come to enjoy denying their men, I know their are, my Wife has done exactly that. But I also know she is denying me primarily because she knows it makes me happy. We are going to talk about this very issue at the weekend.

    The simple fact is my Wife is a person, with her own thoughts, desires and feelings. If I tried to do all of those household chores on my own in a misguided effort to please her she would absolutely hate it. BUT, work together as a team, get things done that need doing together, and boy, am I going to get a good seeing to in the bedroom!

    Back to explaining feminization, my Wife has had a compliment from a Dom about my female clothes that have been chosen for me by my her. Essentially they were complimenting her for making the feminization 'real', not fantasy. The clothes suit me and make me look feminine. It is not about sissification, or humiliation. I am so lucky to have a Wife who actually agrees with me, that women get all the best clothes, and has used her wonderful eye to find some that I can wear for her, that please her.
     
  19. i does my chores cos its my job to and i don't feel humiliated. my Mistress works and shudnt has to do any housework and when She comes home its all done for her and i cook dinner after. i wud feel more humiliated if i had to wear men clothes.
     
    lockedup66 likes this.
  20. @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 The "please don't crucify me" message was actually not for you but in general. I should have written that sentence separately or should have made clear I didn't mean you! :) I know we agree on the subject!! I made once a comment criticizing FemDom and some people got really mad at me!! Just wanted to avoid that!
     
  21. lockedup66 likes this.
  22. Women go through a lot to be beautiful. I love for her to make me endure for her that which she and many women have endured for beauty.
    Wearing a tight girdle with garter tabs digging into my legs, wearing brush curlers agai st my scalp, sitting in the portable steam cabinet or under the hot hairdryer or ironing clothes with a tight corset, stockings and heels.
    All of these things require that I suffer. That suffering is genuinly uncomfortable and time consuming. I would much rather be in my mechanic/woodworking/metalwork shop drinking a beer and tinkering. Having to stay on the end of a steel cable inside the hous or salon is difficult and maddening, but somehow it feels right and helps to heal my guilt for being a man.
    The feminizing is just plain hard to endure.
    As a poduct of he 1950s I identify with the trials of womanhood.
    Does anyone else get it?
    Ss
     
    lockedup66 likes this.
  23. well it does take longer to get dressed and ready to go out than being a man does cos all they does if have a wash and then go out.
     
  24. And what a beautiful process it is!
    I know that my proclavities are like a kid getting a new toy then playing with the box, but I must have been imprinted by growing up in the era I did. Nature or nuture? The age old question.
    I am glad my wife appreciates my appreciating her!
    Ss
     
    Sub Dave likes this.
  25. Hello All.

    I dont think there is one single clear explanation or answer that fits all. I have typed and erased 2 blathering answers here...ultimately I think it is part nature, part nurture and part choice. How we deal with the results of those 3 tenets determines how well adjusted we will be. I tested out as a level 3 androgyne...no shock to me at all. Many men like myself feel like failures as men because we did not become the brutish Alpha Male which social mores have dictated...hence the pangs of shame and guilt we feel when we crave or allow ourselves to go on to enjoy going en femme to any degree; we are ashamed we like it so darn much...yet I think we (guys in my spectrum) have developed an idol worship mentality toward women because somewhere along the way we were wired up to see and accept women as superior to men in nearly every way possible...so now I am done watching my favorite very manly sport and am ready to adjourn to the shower...man time is over...I will hop in shave from my neck to my knees front and back, smooth my feet, apply my peel to my face then slip into a pair of pantyhose and nightshirt feeling pangs of self doubt as to why I am doing this then I will crawl into bed and rub my foot against my Wife/Mistress/Keyholders leg and I will get a closed eye sleepy smile from her and more often than not an invitation to snuggle or rub her back...it is crazy...at this point I say roll with it and why ask why. It is what it is...there are just too many reasons why.

    allaboutHer
     
    manintyres and Sub Dave like this.