Female Superiority

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Smaug, Jul 6, 2010.

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  1. Smaug
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    Smaug Member

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    As a discussion about female superiority started in another thread where it was not completely appropriate there, I would like to continue it here, as I do think it merits discussion.
    First of all I will state that everything I will say is only my opinion and we all know what that's worth, LOL.
    I am convinced that men and women are equals, and as was stated they have their individual strengths and weaknesses. I believe we were designed to complement each other. That said, I also believe women are better equipped to manage a relationship and household. And it has also been stated women tend to rule with more love and compassion than men as that is one of their strengths. Men are just more selfish than women, that is why when a woman rules the home, it is usually a happier place. I could say a lot more but have to go for now, please chime in with your OPINION.
     
  2. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    In the real world, I'm all for equality.

    In my wonderful fantasy world, created by me, that I live in about 60% of the time... and growing... I love the FemDom ideal.

    One of my favourite clubs is Club Pedestal in London. It is a FemDom club and women there are treated as Goddesses, as Superiors.

    I love it, it's fun. The males aren't allowed on the furniture in some areas, and have to crawl in others.

    At home, pet and I are equal when important decisions are made, we consult each other. At other times, it's all high protocol and being zapped with an e-stim if he annoys me.

    I think there's room for it all. Do what makes you smile. Life is too short to not do the things you love.

    In MY life it is MY opinion that I should do what makes myself and pet happy, which brings around a happy household, happy children, and a happy and healthy relationship.

    In our relationship, pet will tell you I'm superior, because I am.

    Thank you Smaug.
     
  3. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    Here, here, Emma! Excellent post. I could NOT have said it any better and since I can't I leave you with these very wise words...

     
  4. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    At last... some sense.

    Women have evolved to have those traits, Smaug, or so the current hypotheses suggest - and the evidence supports them (for instance, women are weaker and less aggressive than men, so it's a survival trait to be able to detect emotions like anger in a man from body language, voice tone and facial expression - there are similar arguments for women being better at most forms of social interaction).

    However, by the same token they tend to be less logical, and less able to handle aggression physically and emotionally. There are undeniably times when being aggressive and physically powerful are an advantage.

    It's laughable when men claim their women make them do anything. A man is in the main physically capable of literally making a woman obey; the reverse is rarely true. If a man doesn't want to wear his belt or device, he can beat her up until she gives him the key; or he can just cut it off. If she tells him to wear women's clothes and he says, "no", what's she going to do? Force them on him? Yeah, right.

    None of this is right, in my opinion: I believe in individual sovereignty for all. But the reality is, if men want to take our freedom away and enough of them decide that's what's going to happen, there isn't much we can do about it apart from educate them (look at Afghanistan and Saudi and other backward, mediaeval societies where this happens... although it's the opposite of female-domination, it does go to show the difference between real forced slavery and the pretend slavery we enjoy here).

    I am not so sure men are more selfish than others, at least not in the pejorative sense most people use it. Their focus isn't just on self or so I understand; it's on both self and the environment. And often they don't even see what we're accusing them of being selfish about (like, when they forget to buy us a card, it's because those things aren't important to them so it doesn't come up on the radar. That's no more selfish of them than our dragging them round the shops is selfish - we enjoy it and when they don't we assume they're being deliberately contrary).

    I'm also not sure a home is happier when a woman rules, either. I think it depends entirely on how it's done. I wouldn't say anyone "rules" in our home, but if I was pushed to say whether our marriage is male-led or female-led, I'd have to say it's the former. John is more aggressive than I am (obviously) so he's the protector; he's also smarter than I am (tell him I admitted this and I'll hunt you down and feed you to the cat, lol) and a lot faster mentally so he's the one who tends to rule the business; he's every bit as compassionate as I am and very objective - so when I get emotional and angry on issues of discipline (of the kids), he's the one who talks the most sense. And he has a man's typical toughness - tough love and all that, both towards me and the kids, his and mine.

    I realise John isn't typical but he's not a rare exception, I think.

    Again these are all generalisations as I hope the hard-of-thinking will understand.

    The notion that women are inherently superior to men is a fallacy that can be demonstrated in myriad ways. Claiming it as a fact is no more or less offensive than racism or homophobia - one group of humanity is inferior because of the genes they have. People are entitled to their opinions, and free speech guarantees them the right to voice them (although not on privately owned blogs and forums), but that's exactly what we might call "true" female supremacists are: bigots who can't show any evidence for their claims.

    Sarah.
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Ohhhhh.... I feel like someone told me Santa doesn't exist.

    Sarah, that is a very well thought out, well written post. I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

    Pedestal would be pretty crap if the men acted like drunk vanillas in a bar though.

    I'm glad they want to play at being submissive and inferior, and I'm glad they want me to play at being superior. It's all very good fun. Win-win.

    The Hunt - I got to walk round in a graceful outfit shooting paintballs at naked submissives. I felt pretty superior there, I had a paintball gun! I wouldn't have enjoyed being shot at in that outfit, it was expensive!

    These are incidents in my fantasy world, or my hobby life. Some people like to dress up as vikings and restage battles. It's fun... it's not meant to be serious!
     
  6. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    Thank you.

    Unequivocally.

    Yet there are those who really, really, really don't seem to understand this. That's fine - but as someone who once came to this without a clue, I know the hassles it caused me. I know I'm also not the only one, because I get stacks of emails from bewildered and nervous men and women (and I get the other kind too, as you know ;[​IMG])

    Sarah
     
  7. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    But that's because people think FemDom HAS to go with chastity, and it doesn't.

    If people don't want to subscribe to FemDom or Female Superiority they don't have to.
     
  8. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    Absolutely. But try telling some people that and the Chastity Taliban get their beards all a-twist.

    Sareah.
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I think the chastity world should be grateful that it has you for vanillas who want chastity without kink, Chastity Mansion to cater for those who want chastity with kink, and other sites for wank fodder!

    Anyone who goes to a pick n mix and chooses sweets they don't like deserves to be left with a bitter taste in their mouth!
     
  10. johnkelly00
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    johnkelly00 Junior Member

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    Ok - this is my OPINION so please refrain from telling me I'm wrong. ;)

    Are women superior to men? Hmmmm... in some things, yes, and in others, decidedly not, and in still other things, they are inferior. I would say it's a mixed bag there.

    Do I worship all women? Hell no. There are a lot of people (women + men) that don't deserve even a kind word let alone worship. Besides...

    Do I worship my wife? Hmmmm... kind of. It's not worship so much as it is my desire for and commitment to her complete and utter happiness.

    Is my wife superior to me in all things? No. She has been given powers over my sexuality by both of us in agreement. She has also been given final say in all matters related to us. She is kind and considerate and loving to me and I know she will not abuse her powers or rights. If she wasn't, I would be moving on.

    I love being in chastity for my wife (for the most part) and she loves the feeling of control that it gives her (for the most part). There are ups and downs like in all relationships. If I was really tired of it, she would let me out and vice versa. The problem of course is that I would want to be back in the device after awhile. Accepting that, has made me more agreeable to being in the device this time around and to not pester her to be released. This has, in turn, increased her satisfaction and desire to keep me in the device.

    So... coming full circle - I don't buy into the general concepts of feminism or female superiority or female domination. I do know that, in my marriage, she is in charge based on a mutual decision and, yes, I love her "dominating" me. But I wouldn't be ok with a random female thinking she could control me any more than I would be ok with any random stranger - man or woman - thinking they could control me.
     
  11. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    I'm not sure I see that chastity without female supremacy and domination is necessarily chastity without kink. Some would argue male chastity is kink.

    Sarah.
     
  12. johnkelly00
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    johnkelly00 Junior Member

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    Also - I can't get my head around chastity without female domination. Ok, yeah, the guy can bust out at any time but the whole point of the "game" is that would be not too well received. Plus you would be destroying a device that wasn't cheap.

    So in the realm of the man's sexuality, the woman does dominate him within the terms of the chastity, right? Or am I missing something?

    I go to my wife and ask "honey, have you given any thought to when I will get out of the device" and she says "I really haven't given it any thought. I'll let you out when I feel the time is right. Now you have earned an hour on the treadmill for breaking the rules". It seems to me that I am dependent on her choices and at her mercy so I sure don't feel like I'm dominant any more.
     
  13. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    No she doesn't and; yes, you are.

    Let me ask you, do you think submission and domination defined by emotions or acts? For example, if someone kneels at gunpoint to avoid being shot, yet they are a seething mass of anger and will fight back the instant they can, would you consider that to be submission and domination?

    Sarah
     
  14. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Good point! I guess for some people doing anything other than misionary is kinky.

    It's all about perception.

    I have no idea what is kinky and what is "normal" any more.
     
  15. johnkelly00
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    johnkelly00 Junior Member

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    Sarah,

    I think you are argumentative and like to get on your high horse a bit too much for me to enjoy any kind of debate. Particularly because I think we agree on most things but it seems that you need to "win" the discussion.

    I'll let you discuss it with the others that are more tolerant and less judgmental than myself.

    Take care.
     
  16. Sarah
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    "Normal" is what everyone does even if no one else does it.

    "Kinky" is what we do that we know other people usually don't.

    "Perverted" is what busybodies think other people shouldn't be allowed to do just because they don't like the thought of them doing it.

    [​IMG]

    Sarah.
     
  17. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    If you think objecting to someone telling me what I must needs be feeling and experiencing simply because he is unable to get his head around it is being "argumentative" and "getting on my high horse", then yes, I suppose I'm guilty.

    Sarah.
     
  18. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Awesome, thanks for the clarity! I particularly like your definition of Perverted!

    I did have a feeling that I'd been told Kinky was using a feather during sex, Perverted was using the whole f*&king chicken! :haha4:
     
  19. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I actually thought we were all doing fairly well... no-one has been abusive yet!

    Come back johnkelly!!!!
     
  20. johnkelly00
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    I'll be lurking. I'm too old to argue with someone that I mostly agree with. :D
     
  21. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    It's pointless arguing with people you don't agree with because no one ever changes their mind.

    Not true, actually. John was once pro-death penalty; but now he's not.

    Sarah
     
  22. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Great thread

    Let's hope that Elise Sutton doesn't spot it and decides to post eh! Then, we'd have a row about ridiculous points of view...

    I'd agree with pretty much everything said -ofcourse there is an element of "game" always here and it just doesn't make sense from any kind of Darwin perspective to have one half of a species being actually "superior" over the other. We have natural roles to fill and it's the millennia of complex social development overlaid over the beast that even allows us to flirt with these ideas anyway. For some people, the creation and adoption of handy universal truths help them do that human intellectual thing to make sense of it all in a digestible frame work - I'd firmly stick "Goddess" views in this camp and to be honest, it's as rational as any other human framework to try and make sense of the chaos (beats a lot of the other bizarre belief sets out there, I'd say). I think places like Club Pedestal would be great fun for both guys and girls into FemDom but I would imagine most people would back away from somebody taking it all too seriously and muttering about being in a room with a load of Goddesses made flesh - and rightly so. Women are adept at the whole home and hearth thing because we are evolved to be nest builders and defenders. That means greater empathy skills, an urge for gentle order and an ability to watch over battling siblings whilst stirring the tea and making a phone call to our mothers. Men, God love 'em have evolved to solve problems single mindedly- to the neglect of other things and to be able to procreate even when there is everything else dropping into chaos around them in between bouts of killing stuff to feed the clan. Yeah, there are exceptions and some of us are male homeboys and female Amazons - that's good natural adaptation where resources are compromised. On the subject of superior male strength, I did read an interesting article that posited the theory that basic weapons are a female invention to re address the agression and size disparity which makes some sense in nest defending terms (think kitchen knife and burglars)



    As to the defintion of kink, here's a great example of framework thinking that wonderfully illustrates the impact of time, culture and social norms of the day. Get a Victorian and someone from the Middle Ages in a room and show them a chastity belt and they'll nod sagely - then try explaining to my late grandma whose only sex education to my mother was that the "safe period" (and she wasn't clear what that was anyway) is slap bang between two periods. We in our current context see the Victorians as sexually very repressed but these were the guys who perfected the vibrator - even if it was to cure hysteria. It's all absolutely relative even in the same epoc and continent - as you know when you see the really weird, totally disproportionate fury that the concept of male chastity provokes in circles that find it odd and even abusive (I dont get that mental leap either).

    So here's an idea to kick about - perhaps FemDom and Goddess views are just having their day in the sun at the moment as a antedote to the horrific female repression happening elsewhere in the globe as a result of literature focused organised religion - and let's not just beat up the Middle East about this, abhorrent as it is the way women suffer there. The Catholic church has their own version of the burqa after all and Confuscian wisdom came up with the gem that women serve first their fathers, then their husbands and then their eldest sons (grrrr)

    To close, and just because the point was interesting - can you have chastity without FemDom? Yeah, 'course you can. It just depends why you are chaste. If you are abstaining because an orgasm is, like food hunger, all the better for abstention then I'm unclear as to how FemDom fits with that. If you are chaste in your marital relationship because you want to link the pleasure of orgasm to a "gift" that only your wife gives you, then even that isn't FemDom really. My hub and I are practicing a combination of both and he respects my strengths and leadership in our relationship as that is where my skills lie. I have no wish to control his every move and drive out his male strengths. Outside of fun play, does he see me as a Goddess made flesh? No, he's way too smart for that - I'm just his wife who has all the usual flaws and faults and our dynamic works because he has voluntarily handed over control of the stuff that I am good at. His chastity to me helps him stay on track as he knows that a happy and secure relationship involves focus, empathy, love and attention - something which cock ruled men get distracted from in their drive for orgasm.

    Now, I've read through my post and short of discussing fox hunting, I think there is a little something to start plenty of rows so I shall quote Smaug and re iterate that this all a work of my OPINION

    :D
     
  23. SubHub72
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    I don't believe in male or female superiority.

    I think each individual has his or her own strengths to bring to the table and the trick is to play those cards in a way that makes one happiest in the long run. Diversity is what makes this world an interesting place. I've had a lot of bosses - male and female - and I really have no opinion as to which gender is more or less effective. I can't rationally tease out any generalizations beyond the "noise" of other factors contributing to their successes or failures.

    As Sarah has mentioned, my wife can't *make* me do anything. I am far stronger than she is and can simply walk away if need be. Through complex nature/nurture interactions that I don't fully understand, I have found that I enjoy submitting to her - but that has nothing to do with whether or not she is superior to me. In our roleplaying, we've never touched on this subject, so I guess it's just a non-issue with us as a couple. I do get jealous that she is multi-orgasmic and I am not;-).
     
  24. mikecb
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    Hi Gang,

    I was noodling on this topic a bit yesterday afternoon as I was driving for our vacation.

    I think the pivotal issue on the Female Superiority and Femdom debate going on here is simply "consent".

    As has been pointed out, most men can not be forced to do anything by their lady. They consented to an arrangement, and they are living with it. Yes, their KH may "force" them to remain belted, but it's within the larger arrangement of consent that the KH has the right to make those decisions.

    One of the big fictions is that people believe the wearer can not withdraw consent at any time. Well, I own a dremel tool, and it's what I would use to MAKE a chastity belt, so I have no illusions that I couldn't destroy one with it as well.

    Sure, there may be circumstances involving blackmail in which a KH may maintain a wearer in a belt, but in those circumstances we've gone beyond consensual play and into the realm of the illegal.

    The notions of Female Superiority are consensual as well. Elise Sutton can claim to be superior to me all she wants. I don't consent. Good luck proving it to me, "Maam".

    MW points out attending High Protocol and Femdom events. Yes, those events are intended to make the Dommes feel superior. They do, in large part, because all the men in the room have consented to do so. Hell, I don't believe in female superiority, but I'd gladly attend such a thing and role play it, just for the kinky delightfulness of it.

    I guess that comes to my final point. Much of this discussion is about kink and rubbing each other's "happy" buttons. Some people get off on feeling in control. Some of us get off on the illusion of being out of control. We consent to arrangements that allow us each to feed one another's pleasure. It's a role play, and a fantasy. We enjoyed more innocent variations of role play and fantasy as children. As adults, we still do, we just integrate our genitals into the game! lol

    IMO, FemDom and Female Superiority are simply a role play, consensually extended beyond the bedroom for some people. If they express that role play by saying "I can't get out of my chastity belt, because my Domme won't let me". I'm cool with that. That's how they are choosing to role play the game.

    mikecb
     
  25. Sarah
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    Sarah Sarah

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    I agree with you entirely. And it's because I agree with you entirely that I call "bullshit" on people who state female superiority as a fact.

    That, my lad, is bigotry, qualitatively no different from racism. No, I don't object to people having racist beliefs, either, but I'll call them on it, too.

    Sarah.
     
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