Feeling ashamed to wear chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Jacob Teague, Oct 14, 2018.

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  1. Jacob Teague
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    Jacob Teague New member

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    i want to partake in locktober but I feel awkward going out with a chastity device on. I almost feel ashamed to wear it. How can I over come this so I can wear my cage all day even when I go to class.
     
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  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Wear cage, don’t tell anyone you’re wearing it, crisis averted.
     
  3. fkfk
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    fkfk Member

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    no one ever notice you are wearing a cage under normal street clothings........unless they stare at your crotch area :D

    Be Brave :lockkey:
     
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  4. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    You just have to get comfortable wearing it. It might seem like your cage is super noticeable and everyone is looking at it and laughing at you, but unless you're wearing super tight pants or have a monstrously large cage, odds are, nobody will ever notice, and if they do happen to notice, they're never going to say anything.

    That being said, take things are your own pace. Don't feel pressured into doing something you're uncomfortable with just to satisfy some made up holiday you heard about on the internet. That's pretty much the wrongest way you could possibly live your life.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    No one will notice the cage.

    Interesting you use the word ashamed rather than embarrassed. Why ashamed, exactly? Is that feeling of shame part of the reason you do this or an unintended consequence? We all have different motivations and it would be useful for you to understand yours.
     
  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Just get over it. Either you want to wear one 24/7 or you don't.
    If you do its potentially a life-style if you don't its probably just a game.
    The choice on which way to go with that is between you and your Lady.
     
  7. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Active member

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    OP Read this

    Read it again

    Then read it many more times

    It sums things up perfectly
     
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  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well you dont want to be ashame of wearing it cos its what your Lady wants.
     
  9. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    I got over my shame when I learned to accept that chastity is a part of who I am, but that doesn't change how I am in the world. It's an internal acceptance, not an external projection.
    How this will happen for you is something only you can figure out, but I can guarantee that if you try, eventually you will.
     
  10. boisub
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    boisub Active member

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    Getting a cage that’s at least close to the right size helps too. If you’re swinging a giant hunk of plastic instead of your regular boy parts it might be visible to you, and that can make you self-conscious.

    But unless it’s a very noticeable change from how you usually look, no one will notice and certainly no one will jump to the conclusion that you’re wearing a chastity cage. That’s one advantage of TTTWD not being a very well known kink.

    But like @LesterBallard, the word “ashamed” caught my eye, probably because overcoming shame issues has been a lifelong process for me. Are there things about your situation that would trigger shame if they were found out? Are you hiding your kink(s) from your SO or others important to you? Not to pry, but I think you’ll find support here for dealing with those issues, if you’re struggling with them.

    And as @Unlucky said, don’t sweat Locktober. It’s a fun game, but Locktober can be any time of the year once you’ve got a cage that’s comfortable to wear both physically and emotionally. Focus on that first, and then the fun can really start.
     
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  11. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    I would understand being afraid that someone would notice but not feeling shamed. If that is actually the right word, maybe you should explore that feeling and what is causing it. Worst case scenario if someone found out, you just say that it’s a game that you and your lady play that has led to amazing sex.
     
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  12. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    For the most part no one here wants to get caught in public wearing a cage but as others have said people will only speculate as to why your package is so large and I would imagine a cock cage is probably the last thing they'd think of. My pants are more fitted and you can see a little bulge that looks perfectly natural. My Miss likes it because she says it makes it look like I'm bigger than I really am. I was nervous when first going out in public but now it's so normal and a part of our lives that I almost consider it a part of my body now. As others have said, make sure you have a cage that fits you just right. A lot of guys make the mistake of buying to large of a cage, your cage should fit your flaccid penis so the tip of your penis reaches the end of the cage when soft. It's okay if it turtles a little bit but think about the fit like how a show fits. The more comfortable and fitted the cage is the closer it will fit to your body and after a while you won't even realize it's on. You may have to find different underwear and pants for optimal comfort. All of my pants were fine but I tried all kinds of different underwear including incontinents underwear because of the padding and leaking. I ended up with a brand called Saxx that I wear exclusively now. You'll find what's most comfortable for you and don't be ashamed, if more women understood what this was about I think every man would be in chastity.
     
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  13. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Active member

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    To me, wearing the cage is simply a part (and symbol) of my submission. As long as I am in male garb, it has never been a problem. The only time that it was noticed was when I was trying on a knit dress at a Lane Bryant store and when I modeling the dress for the SA, the bulge was obvious, so I had to explain it. Even then, it was well received and I was really rather proud instead of being ashamed.

    So, unless you plan on trying on dresses, you probably have little to fear, but be proud of your submission!
     
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  14. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    As you can see @Jacob Teague their are a lot of people here to help you over come your fears and discomfort.
    If your cage fits properly not to big. Slightly shorter than you are flaccid is the best fit, and your pants are not overly tight your cage will go unnoticed as you go out in public.

    Start with small steps wear it to a store or go for a walk. Build up your confidence talking to strangers. Little by little you will realize No one cares or can tell what’s under your Dress pants or Jeans.

    Most of the people that have given you advice have been through what your going through so your in good hands. We are here to help. Take Care.
     
  15. OscartheTurtle
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    Even cages that have the padlock on them. Unless you are going commando in super loose pants there will be no ‘clacking’. If someone is looking at your crotch they’ll most likely think that guy has a nice package down there.
     
  16. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Member

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    Small steps. Put it on and take the trash out. Walk around the block. Next step, go to the store with it, etc. Pretty soon, you'll get used to it.
     
  17. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    I hope you get use to it soon and not be ashame anymore.
     
  18. Merc04
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    Merc04 New member

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    I know locktober is over and the point May have been beaten to death, but I used to go thru the same feelings.
    The more you wear it in public the less you start to care. Every now and again I feel mildly self conscious of it so I throw on some jeans or khaki shorts- something thick up front.
    Usually I don't care though. You start to think, "why are you looking at my dick, mate?" Even if someone is fixated at looking at your junk, the likelihood they see your cage is extremely low. Even then it's none of their business.
     
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  19. locked_cuckold
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    locked_cuckold New member

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    First, don't tell anyone.

    Second, wear loose fitting pants so that the bulge of the cage doesn't show. You'll have to alter the way you sit a little bit but it can be done pretty easily. Also, sit when you pee if you're not already.
     
  20. aussie_chaste
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    aussie_chaste New member

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    We all have our secrets.

    That body builder with tats and suffering imaginary lat syndrome is probably wearing pink lacey underwear,. That girl who served you your coffee this morning is probably hoping her buttplug doesn't slip out... etc.

    Wear it, enjoy it.

    A properly fitted device that doesn't feel like it will slip off and loose fitted clothing and you'll be fine.
     
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  21. Kylara
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    Kylara Member

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    Sure, when you see someone strange, bed makeup, clothed strangely or with a big sex in his pants you don't go to tell him.

    Nobody cares even if someone notice it. Nobody will stop you in the road and ask you about your sex. other people won't dare or don't care of you.
     
  22. Morky006
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    Morky006 New member

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    i am 3rd week long lock up (couple of days break between each week). so very new to wearing a cage.

    i have taken my kids to school, gone to work, gone to shops, parents eve. i wear jeans or trousers and nothing really shows.

    concentrate on how you are feeling, enjoy it. only you and your keyholder know.
    or better still imagine all the other people wearing a cage!!!

    i walk around with a smile know i have my cage on and no one knows!!!
     
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