Fantasy vs. Reality

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress Sabine St. Jack, Nov 17, 2020.

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  1. Mistress Sabine St. Jack
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    Mistress Sabine St. Jack Keyholding Queen
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    Has your fantasy of orgasm denial lived up to the reality of orgasm denial? What did you enjoy most about being denied and what was different than the fantasy version?
     
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  2. Andy80
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    Andy80 Member

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    The reality is better than the fantasy for me.

    As others have discussed before on Chastity Mansion, I also experience a strange 'transformation' the longer I am locked, from initially not missing an orgasm much in the early days, to getting increasingly frustrated, and then reaching a glorious plateau where I am almost constantly aroused but in a strangely warm and relaxing way. This wasn't something I'd imagined in my fantasies.

    And then to session with my Mistress when I'd been teased and denied for a long period, and to be kept on the edge in my cage, not knowing if I would be unlocked or not, has resulted in some of the most memorable orgasms of my life.

    I'm sometimes not sure though whether the orgasm is better than staying in that heightened locked state - it's a close run thing!
     
  3. locked_chub
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    locked_chub New member

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    Much to my regret, chastity devices that actually can deny you an orgasm even if you are doing anything to achieve it, exist only in fantasy.
     
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  4. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    Yes and no, my fantasy about how chastity would go when my mistress first locked my up was based on a lot of stereotypical fantasy’s that I had read into far to much. When I finally understood my role as the submissive in our relationship and she was truly able to take control, things really started to escalate from there. So when we first started out in this lifestyle we’d never done any role playing D/s and there was a lot for both of us to learn.

    To put it in a nutshell I thought I would be locked for weeks if not months at a time while being unmercifully teased and denied which was far from the case. It took about 3 years of trial and error until we both felt like we were on the same page with chastity. That “same page” was was more about me not trying to top from the bottom. Now that we’re over 5 1/2 years into this lifestyle we’re both very happy with how things are going and we both are content but we very much look forward to what’s around the next bend. We mostly share the same fantasies and I’m much more (truly) now about her pleasure than I am my own. So although the reality has been different from the fantasy I very much love our reality and ever so slowly we branch into more fantasy making it our reality.
     
  5. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Someone has to say it... online keyholding and denial is a fantasy even when being done.
     
  6. Isopropylforyou
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    It was not a fantasy it is my reality.

    I find the denial freeing.

    One night I had come to the realization that all the Masterbating I did behind my wife's back was cheating.

    I am an extremely honorable Man. I take vows to Honor and be respectful seriously. It is sewn into my very being. To come to the realization that I had been unfaithful for so long crushed the very fiber of my essence. The shame and pain I felt, especially the pain was unbearable.

    I confessed everything to my Wife. I vowed to Honor and Obey Her from that moment on. No more constant Masterbation, my only purpose on this plane of existence and beyond would be her. Her pleasure, Her needs, Her wants.

    I clean the house once a week, I take care of all the Laundry and do a majority of the cooking.

    I do this to serve Her. She deserves it for putting up with all my crap and still staying with me. I owe it to Her to be a better man, a better Husband.

    Limiting my Orgasms helps me focus. It feels like it is the right thing to do.

    It has taken away my guilt and is undoing all the damage my chronic, selfish Masterbation has caused.

    When I do cum, it is together with Her, it is loving, it is passionate, it is satisfying but most of all it connects us as one.

    Iso.
     
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  7. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    I have good stamina, and can last a long time. It was causing us problems. She would get tired and we started having less and less sex.

    That caused more problems.

    Finally, it came out in a discussion, and she asked if we could stop when she was done. Even if I have not finished. It was odd, but I agreed. We started having a lot more sex, except I was often denied. She was in control.

    Denial, led to tease and denial. That led to chastity. That led to FLR, and the relationship is still developing.

    We have never been closer. We have never had so much sex, or intimacy. As her control increases, our relationship improves.

    It is all good, and getting better.
     
  8. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    Fantasy is better than reality for us, but it took us several years for that to be the case.

    I see parts of our story in many of the previous responses. I was a habitual masturbator, which I believe has made it difficult to orgasm from PIV. Mistress has her own issues with PIV as well. This created some intimacy issues for us that chastity and denial has helped us overcome once we were able to fully embrace it.

    In addition, it has helped us fully realize our Domme and sub roles, which are extremely fulfilling to both of us as we continue to explore kink and D/s in and out of the bedroom.
     
  9. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    As you get older, orgasms are not what they were and sometimes hard to achieve. With some medication needed to control blood pressure it becomes a little more challenging. Enhancement drugs do help with the stiffness, duration, and even the feeling of being invincible, but sometimes a little more mind games are needed.

    we have found chastity is a big part of the equation and how often I get to orgasm adds fuel to the fire. Plus the fact my wife is still in great physical shape and and possesses a wicked mind also helps. She knows how far to push me, where to take me, and how to control me. When she does finally release me or allow me to orgasm, it’s some of the best in my life.

    I always needed to orgasm and some days my hand was my best friend, especially with porn. Now I no longer have say, so the mental part is driving my release far greater than normal. With my wife in control, I am now begging and looking for release, no longer releasing for the hell of it. Plus the fact she gets to tease and have me please her with no quid pro quo only heightens the experience.
     
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  10. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Tough question. I still enjoy my fantasies about chastity, submission and being a sissy. But in them, everything always goes faster and farther than happens in reality. My Domme pushes me to do more, submit more, and eventually surrender completely to Her. Handing over my keys so She has total control is always part of it.

    Reality is much slower but constant. I never expected to be chaste as long as i have been at times or be caged constantly. Sure I fantasized about it, but never thought it actually possible. Getting to where i no longer noticed the caged fitted around my genitals was not what i expected. The same with giving up control of my orgasms. If someone had told me i would willing relinquish that right, i would have thought them crazy. Same with eating my own cum, or posting photos of myself in very submissive and even humiliating poses. But here i am. So reality has been in many ways more than i expected or hoped for. Chastity was to me, always about submission. A sort of concrete example of that. Of surrender. Reality has allowed that even if in a self-locking and online way. The one step l'd like to take in reality is actually giving up my keys to a KH. Not sure that will happen but perhaps one day that element will shift from fantasy to reality. Until then, i will continue to explore chastity in a real way.
     
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  11. Inferior to women
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    Inferior to women New member

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    I have not found my mistress yet.. :(
     
  12. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    The reality is much better than the fantasy. The constant pleasure of being horny and on edge all the time is much better than a few seconds of extreme pleasure. My wife likes it because my attitude about doing my household chores is much better.
     
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  13. Ricscages
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    I believe the fantasy of orgasm denial and the reality of orgasm denial are about the same. I think most of the guys on this subject fantasize about having there orgasm controlled by being caged in chastity and there wives/ girlfriend become k/h usually at the request of there husband or boyfriend. As for my experience having my orgasm denied in reality is a fantasy come true. Being older than a lot of the guys on here. I've learned and accepted that my orgasm doesn't matter. Mistress property has been caged for 211 days according to my Mistress count. Mistress pleasure is the only thing that matters. I care only to please my Mistress. As for Mistress property always being teased and tormented I only know that the more Mistress teases her property the more I beg Mistress to continue. Mistress will bring her property to the very edge time and time again then stop and whisper to me slave better not cum. So for me the fantasy has become the reality. Mistress may I have more.
     
  14. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    It's pretty much what I expected, except for the way the frustration seems to drop to background noise for weeks on end.
     
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  15. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Reality is nothing like the fantasy but I think it is better in many ways. I have so many fantasies, but I have now decided that, after only 6 weeks in chastity, mine don't matter, unless my L shares it.
     
  16. slave_m
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    Yes it is reality.
    Undoubtedly, what I enjoy the most is feeling inferior to my Keyholder, she enjoys sex ---> how, when, where and with whom she wishes ... on the other hand, I remain chaste and without having the right to express my opinion or complain.
     
  17. JCNTX
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    Fantasy: Being tormented with the inability to achieve the orgasm that I so desperately wanted.

    Reality: Realizing that I am so much happier not having an O and the device just keeping me honest at my weak moments.

    Could I orgasm if I really wanted to. Sure. But with a PA sleeve device it would be incredibly uncomfortable and even slightly painful to orgasm. No thanks.
     
  18. OntMark
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    OntMark New member

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    I would generally say reality is much better than fantasy, it helps though that my Wife has taken on the role with great interest! I would agree with one of the previous comments, it was quite frustrating at fist after a few weeks to be locked up full time, but that does morph into a warm glow of perpetual arousal. I really do spend MUCH more time adoring my Wife and doing anything she wants. I suppose the only downsides is the punishments, they definitely get my attention and are worse than I would expect for being such simple things.
     
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  19. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    This is very close to what happened to us
     
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  20. MrFlashKat
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    MrFlashKat Member

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    This is exactly my experience too.
     
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  21. Sipriotes
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    Sipriotes Slave to Artemistress

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    Scratch that... reverse it... lol. You all knew what I meant :)
     
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  22. OntMark
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    OntMark New member

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    I suppose one other surprise about reality, is just how sensitive/heavy/full feeling testicles can get.. I had no idea.
     
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  23. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active member

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    everything i have read here is about xx's living up to the xy's expectations. if she does, reality is far better than fantasy for the xy.
    no consideration for the xx's fantasy in locking up the xy.
    fantasy far exceeds reality. first off no tongue or toy can make up for piv on a regular basis. don't get me wrong a tongue, fingers or toys are great snacks but nothing compares to the real thing . next on the list is him doing all the work but not getting it. no doubt there is a power rush to be had watching him lock up all frustrated from being that close but not getting it. still there is a down side. not having him ejaculate inside me 5x a week denies me the wonderful mood enhancing chemicals in semen. sure i can and do milk him regularly. a very numbed penis works too . even ruined orgasms can yield enough semen for the job but that means extra work for me with no real extra benefit.
    i read how long the xy's go without being unlocked makes me think what saints these xx's are or very unfaithful. thus making cuckolding an acceptable alternative.
    to me locking him up means everything he produces can be put to good use.
    final note: the fantasy is mine. not really sure how anyone thought it should be his. for me i know fantasy is always better than reality but reality is pretty dam good as ma'at!
     
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  24. Colton27
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    Colton27 Member

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    I like the intimacy. I expected chastity to be little more than an experimental kink for us, but it has become a full-time way of life in the past year or so. The kink aspect often crafts the role of the woman as a cold sadist, which can be fun, but in our reality, it is the opposite. She has taken an enormous burden from me, and in the process, helped to transform me into a kinder, more patient and attentive man. Sex is rare, but mutually and spectacularly satisfying on both a physical and spiritual level when it does occur.
     
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  25. Xanadu
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    Xanadu New member

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    Remaining in the locked state is always the best
     
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